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RE: Definition of Doormat? - 12/26/2007 11:45:32 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TheScrivener

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

I am happy being anything for him, so when he wants me to shut up and do something without thought, regardless of what I feel, I do so. 



I realize this is simply a way of showing your devotion to your Dominant, but this is the kind of mindset that scares me.  Loyalty and submission are wonderful, but you should always be mindful of how you feel.  It doesn't have to come out, and it doesn't mean you have to back talk, but still.  I worry about submissives when they say something like that.

Simply my opinion on the matter.  I imagine it works quite fine in your relationship, yet, I do hope that other submissives don't emulate the same ideal.

Submissives should be loyal, not mindless.

I personally find doormats to be rather boring.  Nice for cleaning mud off of my shoes though.


I think you misunderstood, and my lack of communication may be the reason for that.  To clarify, I am always mindful of how I feel.  In fact, he is the one who taught me to be mindful of my thoughts and feelings, as I did not have that skill before.  He always knows how I think and feel, as well, and usually takes that into account.  However, there are times he doesn't care if something bothers or upsets me, or if I like or dislike something - he just wants it done.  If you saw the number of reports I write for the man, exploring feelings about this, that and the other, you would have no concerns at all. 

I'm glad you brought this up, though, as I hadn't realized how my post came across, and you gave me a chance to correct it.

(in reply to TheScrivener)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Definition of Doormat? - 12/26/2007 11:50:59 PM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IdiotMale

A doormat is a good slave.


I like the way you think!!!!

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(in reply to IdiotMale)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Definition of Doormat? - 12/27/2007 1:43:26 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

slap a daisy on my ass and let me say Welcome!



ooo I like that... can I use it?
peace 

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Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Definition of Doormat? - 12/27/2007 8:06:02 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

slap a daisy on my ass and let me say Welcome!



ooo I like that... can I use it?
peace 


Well thank goodness, I was beginning to think I was the only dork who liked it.

Yes, you can use it!  Just don't lay around with it on OldBastardly's porch, heh.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Definition of Doormat? - 12/27/2007 10:42:19 AM   
LaMspeach


Posts: 794
Joined: 12/4/2004
From: Philadelphia area, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

Well thank goodness, I was beginning to think I was the only dork who liked it.

Yes, you can use it!  Just don't lay around with it on OldBastardly's porch, heh.


Hey you rug .... I loved your daisy comment.  I have been away  doing holiday stuff and just cathing up.

I think some one should contact your Mr. Wonderful and tell him exactly how much you want a daisy on your rear parts.

_____________________________

peach ~ LordandMasters devoted alpha slave
"Only when the year has grown cold does one know that the pine and cypress are the last to wither"



(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Definition of Doormat? - 12/27/2007 11:01:30 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Well hell's bells.  I had this nifty answer all at the ready, but I'm not of the proper "flavor".  You know, OP, if you want ONLY one sort of answer, the appropriate way to indicate that would be to START off your post with, "I am looking for the opinion of ...." and then proceed with your question.

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Definition of Doormat? - 12/27/2007 3:18:56 PM   
Evility


Posts: 915
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Evility
doormat: noun:  A name that submissive A uses to refer to submissive B when submissive B will do things that submissive A refuses to do.

quote:

ORIGINAL: girlygurl
Just submissives huh? 
girly


Oh, absolutely not. That same submissive A turns right around tells her dominant what she will and won't do and turns him into a doormat, too. It can happen on both sides.


(in reply to girlygurl)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Definition of Doormat? - 12/27/2007 3:50:30 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		OMG a tattoo of daises and "Welcome" on someone's ass is just too awesome an idea

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(in reply to Evility)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Definition of Doormat? - 12/27/2007 4:06:51 PM   
anowner


Posts: 24
Joined: 10/26/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline 		Ding Ding Ding--we have a winner!

Evility says:

quote:

doormat: noun:  A name that submissive A uses to refer to submissive B when submissive B will do things that submissive A refuses to do.


Let me add this: 1a. A name that person A uses to refer to submissive B whose dominant C has a style of dominance person A doesn't approve of.

Yes, yes, there is a lot of wisdom in what other people are saying, but I think these two definitions cover a large portion--maybe a majority--of the times when it's used.

(in reply to Evility)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Definition of Doormat? - 12/27/2007 6:07:55 PM   
PanthersMom


Posts: 2215
Joined: 11/26/2007
From: Cleveland Ohio
Status: offline 		doormat?  someone who takes abuse and comes back every time.  i do not mean playing, i mean downright abuse, physical, mental, emotional, all of it.  that's my idea of a doormat.

PM

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I miss my ex, but my aim is improving!




(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Definition of Doormat? - 12/27/2007 6:36:56 PM   
sweetstorm


Posts: 227
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline 		A doormat is someone who is told repeatedly (usually by their friends) that they are in an abusive situation and they deny it. They leave the relationship because of the abuse and they return... and call it love.

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You don't need a parachute to skydive.

You need a parachute to skydive twice.

(in reply to PanthersMom)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Definition of Doormat? - 12/28/2007 12:19:39 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

OMG a tattoo of daises and "Welcome" on someone's ass is just too awesome an idea


  I suggested it.  He laughed.


(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Definition of Doormat? - 12/28/2007 5:50:31 AM   
OldBastardly1


Posts: 651
Joined: 7/22/2006
From: Atlanta, GA
Status: offline 		I did not laugh at the daisies.


But the thought of the tattoo does make me giggle.

_____________________________

Old Bastard

"You cannot make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to make buttprints in the sands of time?" -- Bob Moawad



(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Definition of Doormat? - 12/28/2007 6:03:04 AM   
MasterLawfl


Posts: 7
Joined: 12/24/2007
Status: offline 		I hope this will help you out some.If you need more answer please feel free to contact me.


                                                                               To Be A Dom
What does being a Dom mean to me? To me it is not about forcing another to do things that one does not wish to do for themselves. It is about being someone who has a proven way about themselves, about being able to share their thoughts in such a way that another can see things in a different light. As a Dom one should be able to have an open mind and be able to accept that they too are not perfect and that by listening and willing to make changes in themselves, one can grow in all that they are.
When one accepts their status as Dominate they should also remember that those who wish to serve, are doing so as a choice in their own ways. A Dom should also accept that the submissive is seeking to learn from the Dom and not just provide tasks that are selfish and unyielding to the submissive.
A Dom is one who understands that others look to them for security in many combinations of mental, physical and spirituality, and need to be accepted by the dominate without being taken advantage of for their willingness to serve.
Dominates are usually strong in character ,but are also human. They should always remember that they too will make mistakes and should not be considered as failures to themselves in these times. True dominates use failure as a learning tool to better themselves and can use these lessons to help their submissive to learn from the mistakes that they have already made in their own lives.
A person who is domineering in all that they are does not necessarily deserve the title of Dom, as to be a true Dom one should not only be able to take charge, but should be able to earn respect and trust of others.
To be a Dom, means that I should be willing to always consider others thoughts and feelings and accept them for who they are, before I seek to allow them to service my needs and desires. To ensure others that I will always seek to better myself and be the rock that they can depend on for help in their travels of submission.

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Definition of Doormat? - 12/28/2007 6:46:22 AM   
OldBastardly1


Posts: 651
Joined: 7/22/2006
From: Atlanta, GA
Status: offline 		psssst...dude........it is dominant, not dominate

_____________________________

Old Bastard

"You cannot make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to make buttprints in the sands of time?" -- Bob Moawad



(in reply to MasterLawfl)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Definition of Doormat? - 12/28/2007 6:50:24 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		And the philisophical million dollar question at this juncture seems to be:

Can a dominate be a doormat?

Eustus P. McGonigle

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to OldBastardly1)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Definition of Doormat? - 12/28/2007 9:37:35 AM   
MasterLawfl


Posts: 7
Joined: 12/24/2007
Status: offline 		Thanks I guess I should proof read before posting

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Definition of Doormat? - 12/28/2007 9:59:21 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OldBastardly1

I did not laugh at the daisies.


But the thought of the tattoo does make me giggle.


To be honest, I couldn't make heads or tails of your "" post and took it as a passive aggressive way of launching an insult of sorts.  And then I read in another thread where you said you don't express yourself well, so giving you the benefit of the doubt, what the hell did you mean?


(in reply to OldBastardly1)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Definition of Doormat? - 12/28/2007 10:12:16 AM   
anowner


Posts: 24
Joined: 10/26/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

And the philisophical million dollar question at this juncture seems to be:

Can a dominate be a doormat?


There's a self-help book in this: From doormat to Domator: Rearrange the Letters that Define Your Life

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Definition of Doormat? - 12/28/2007 10:13:45 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

And the philisophical million dollar question at this juncture seems to be:

Can a dominate be a doormat?

Eustus P. McGonigle


Not until they Master the Language.

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 60
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