Am I The Only One?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Am I The Only One?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> Am I The Only One?

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Am I The Only One? - 12/25/2007 9:44:07 AM

summerblossom

Posts: 145
Joined: 11/17/2007
Status: offline

Am I the only one on this site that has a hard time around the holidays? I see everywhere so much cheeryness that I wonder if anyone else experiences depression over the holidays. I get more depressed over the holidays due to a couple of reasons. I hate the holidays and will be happy when they are over. Not only have I lost many loved ones leaving me with very few family and friends but I have had many past struggles where I have also been completely alone over the holidays so it brings up many negative feelings and emotions. I am also really poor so exchanging gifts and decorating and doing the things most people do are out of the question. It seems that the positive changes I have made in my life are always put on hold over the holiday season with all the chaos, traffic, exagerations and rush...And trust me, so you won't say it, I do appreciate the people I do have in my life and what I do have but I still get more lonely and depressed over the holidays. Please respond only if you feel the same way, it would be nice to feel not so alone. Thankyou. And one more thing, anyone know how to do those responses where you see the box of the previous person who posted? I don't have a clue how to do that!

Sometimes when I see posts about how people love the holidays, it makes me feel jealous, as if they are throwing it in my face how great a holiday they have. Only nice responses please, I have really had enough negativity for one day.

Post #: 1

RE: Am I The Only One? - 12/25/2007 9:50:59 AM

carlie310

Posts: 256
Joined: 9/23/2007
Status: offline

I was talking to someone about "The Christmas Fight" last night. For many of us, our bio family doesn't bring out the best, and we choose to visit at a very frenzied time of year. Add in "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" played repeatedly on the radio, elevated expectations and that we WANT to be so happy, even if we're working on limited resources (time, money, energy). . .

it's a recipe for disaster.

So, no. You're not alone. Particularly in this.

And the quote box thing is simple. At the top right of the post you want to quote, there's a button that says "quote"--click that, and their quote will appear in the posting box. You can delete some of their text, but be careful you don't delete the quoting tags.

(in reply to summerblossom)

Post #: 2

RE: Am I The Only One? - 12/25/2007 9:56:21 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

Hi summerblossom,

No, you are not alone. There are many people who have problems during the holiday season, but it is not the time to ever share these sad feelings with anyone because the overwhelming mass population enjoys this time of the year too much.

This time of the year can really be hard on a person. I am not going to share what my personal reasons are are, especially here anymore, but please know you are not alone in your feelings. Did you know that there are more suicides during the holidays than any other time of the year? Not sure where I saw that statistic, but it shows definitively that you are not alone.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 12/25/2007 9:57:16 AM >

(in reply to carlie310)

Post #: 3

RE: Am I The Only One? - 12/25/2007 10:31:28 AM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline

I'm with you summerblossom, christmas sucks!

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran

(in reply to summerblossom)

Post #: 4

RE: Am I The Only One? - 12/25/2007 11:15:10 AM

Termyn8or

Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline

summer, don't feel bad about it. To me Christmas sucks.

My position on the whole thing goes alot deeper than not being able to decorate. I don't let it depress me, but I get no joy out of it except for the day off. I respect Christians but I am not one. I am not a Jew either, nor a Muslim or anything, for me there is no diety. There may be something after corporeal death but I do not believe anything anyone says about it. Each of us eventually finds out the truth though, that's for sure. Let's just hope eventually is a long time.

Joshua bar Joseph was a great Man and perhaps the greatest philosopher who ever lived. If everyone lived according to his teachings and beliefs the world would be a near utopia. But we do not, and it is not.

So for me, celebrating Christmas would be hypocracy. It would be fake. I don't do fake. And there is more, alot more.

First of all Jesus was not born on December 25th, and I will use the words Jesus and Christ out of respect, but I do not believe nor accept the tenets of Christianity. This holiday was declared, and it was declared to coincide with what they call a pagan ritual, a practice going back before Christianity. It was the celebration of the winter solistace, and was for good reason, it was finally going to start getting warmer soon.

Easter is similarly derived from ancient cultures, adopted to appease those who were forced to convert to Christianity. And there were many. And the people who invented Christ, the Jews have had to deal with it as well. It came down, in France a long time ago, it was accept Christ or die. That's when they invented the Kol Nidre. Attacked by racists and bigots quite a bit, the Kol Nidre says something about them.

If you want to lie, just lie, fuck it, but if you need a prayer to lie, a lie that saves your life or your livelyhood, you probably would rather be honest. That says alot.

Ideologically I am close to the Jewish mindset. They do have a few things going for them. But they were still the impetus for killing Jesus. Sure they had the Romans do it, but so what. We are alike in that I don't accept, pretty much the same things they don't accept.

I am a Man, as such I accept what I do and I reject what I reject. I reject the idea of universal forgiveness, that can only be given by a victim to a victimizer. Kind of a good reason not to kill eh ? I not only reject universal forgiveness for me, I hope to hell nobody gets it. If you wronged me or hurt me, I want you on the next rack in hell with the devil going over our respective lists of wrongs.

I will take mine as long as everyone else gets theirs.

How would I handle this if I had kids ? Not sure. Would I get them gifts ? I think so but I think I would conciously avoid calling the Christmas gifts. The Bible does not say "Thou shalt go into debt on the proscribed day".

Same for Bdays, all of it. They simply are not going to tell me when to express some charity. If I had kids, I think if anything I would stress giving. Take them out to the lower places, give a bum a winter coat and ten bucks. Let the kids see the look in his face. Experience giving.

I am not a miser, far from it. But I'll be damnned if they tell me when to give.

And I don't like the hype and the commercialism involved. It is too much.

A great Man was put to death at the behest of his own people about 1,970 years ago. So on that Man's birthday, which isn't even his birthday we gotta go buy some punk kids the latest video gsames ? That simply does not wash with me.

I could go along with an obsevance, or something, but the whole idea of exchanging gifts is foreign to me these days. You get someone a gift when you damn well please.

That's the way I see it.

T

(in reply to Arpig)

Post #: 5

RE: Am I The Only One? - 12/25/2007 11:34:01 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

Hi summerblossom,

No, you are not alone. There are many people who have problems during the holiday season, but it is not the time to ever share these sad feelings with anyone because the overwhelming mass population enjoys this time of the year too much.

This time of the year can really be hard on a person. I am not going to share what my personal reasons are are, especially here anymore, but please know you are not alone in your feelings. Did you know that there are more suicides during the holidays than any other time of the year? Not sure where I saw that statistic, but it shows definitively that you are not alone.

Actually the suicide rate for Christmas being higher is false

http://www.snopes.com/holidays/christmas/suicide.asp

I do understand unpleasant associations making a person not enjoy the holidays, but I am always happy for others having a wonderful day.

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 12/25/2007 11:35:19 AM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 6

RE: Am I The Only One? - 12/25/2007 11:37:24 AM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

Christmas has not been the happiest time of the year since my mother passed away, so
I can relate to a lot being said here.

I just wanted to share 2 of my favorite holiday video's, maybe it will cheer someone up.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jEnTSQStGE

and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XNQdxlRm9c

Hugs to everyone.

< Message edited by MzMia -- 12/25/2007 11:38:33 AM >

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to summerblossom)

Post #: 7

RE: Am I The Only One? - 12/25/2007 11:48:48 AM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

I like my jewish christmas. I told my mother I didnt want to get together. Shes not happy because there is always such urgency with her. For me, this is not my holiday so I should be able to lazily enjoy. Lounge around and maybe catch a movie.

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 8

RE: Am I The Only One? - 12/25/2007 11:50:58 AM

SavageFaerie

Posts: 4377
Joined: 12/3/2004
From: NYC
Status: offline

Oh trust me your not alone, I am infamous for hiding through just about any holiday to include B/days. Not because the age is ever increasing but because I literly cant handle or tolerate them. The best holidays are the ones I can just sleep though. The winter holidays are especially hard as I have S.A.D. (seasonal affective disorder) which piles up on top of an already had to treat ongoing depression.

Even hearing a xmas song is like fingernails going down a chalkboard. I do not and will not pretend to be happy and full of season joy when its not there.

I wait till the very last minute rush to a store, get my 2 grand faeries something, hand them to the daughter and hopefully they will get wrapped.

I cant put it down to one thing, probably many reasons. But just those days I have to get though.

Had a good friend wish me a "Merry I know this is a date you hate" But I love ya anyways...that one did make me smile.

_____________________________

Disclaimer:If its the wrong word or misspelled I blame on my fingers and brains refusing to interact.

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 9

RE: Am I The Only One? - 12/25/2007 11:53:12 AM

BlackKnight

Posts: 767
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Not feeling as happy as the people around them feel,and seeing others happiness makes the depressed
feel more alone, focuses the mind on their own sadness, pain, disconnection, unworth. aloneness.
To try to include them brings feelings of patronization.

So I've heard.

_____________________________

'Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.'
Life of Reason, Reason in Common Sense, Scribner's, 1905, page 284"
George Santayana

Just because I'm paranoid, doesn't mean they're not out to get me!

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 10

RE: Am I The Only One? - 12/25/2007 12:16:09 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

Hi summerblossom,

No, you are not alone. There are many people who have problems during the holiday season, but it is not the time to ever share these sad feelings with anyone because the overwhelming mass population enjoys this time of the year too much.

This time of the year can really be hard on a person. I am not going to share what my personal reasons are are, especially here anymore, but please know you are not alone in your feelings. Did you know that there are more suicides during the holidays than any other time of the year? Not sure where I saw that statistic, but it shows definitively that you are not alone.

Actually the suicide rate for Christmas being higher is false

http://www.snopes.com/holidays/christmas/suicide.asp

I do understand unpleasant associations making a person not enjoy the holidays, but I am always happy for others having a wonderful day.

Well then. You have proved your online research to be correct at least where Snopes is concerned, but I was replying to the OP who asked for like minded replies.

And, I will be sure and tell the families of 2 friends who committed suicide during Christmas about the fact that we are all wrong, that you were right.

I did not hear anyone here tell anyone not to enjoy your day, but there are many who are not as fortunate as you, so try and understand someone else's point of view in the spirit of the season.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 11

RE: Am I The Only One? - 12/25/2007 12:17:17 PM

BlackKnight

Posts: 767
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

The pressures of social gatherings, expectations, the spotlight if you please the SPOTLIGHT if you piss someone off.
alcohol, family, intimate relations,(lack there of usually),regrets., shorter days, longer nights.

again, so I've heard

edited for puncuation

< Message edited by BlackKnight -- 12/25/2007 12:19:03 PM >

_____________________________

'Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.'
Life of Reason, Reason in Common Sense, Scribner's, 1905, page 284"
George Santayana

Just because I'm paranoid, doesn't mean they're not out to get me!

(in reply to BlackKnight)

Post #: 12

RE: Am I The Only One? - 12/25/2007 12:32:53 PM

bipolarber

Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline

Christmas is an okay holiday with me... the eve and day of are actually very nice times... but it's the runup to the 25th that I can't stand. The obsession with buying gifts, the traffic, the shitty music on most automated stations (and almost all of them ARE automated these days) the sappy movies, the animated christmas specials that we've all been watching since the friggin' 60's... (we can all almost just about recite them word for word...) Not to mention the forced exposure totoxic family members...

I'm not exactly a religious guy... I don't obsess about the afterlife. I tend to think of Jesus as a really great philosopher, who springboarded an evolution in human thought... but his being the Son of God? Not so sure about that.... BUT, the one thing I always like to do duting the Christmas season is to attend a live performance of Handel's "Messiah." The vibe in the performance hall or church is really quite uplifting.

Also, I try to send either cards or at least an email or two to friends who live far from me. I look at it as a chance, and a reminder, to re-connect.

But yeah, as my CM name implies, I have a problem with depression too. The holidays can definitely trigger a downward swing. The way I counter it is to make sure I am with people as much as possible. I was starting to feel it a few days ago, but Tim Burton knocked that right out of me with "Sweeny Todd" (Yeah, I know, paradoxical, huh?)

I've always been more of a Halloween guy, myself.

(in reply to BlackKnight)

Post #: 13

RE: Am I The Only One? - 12/25/2007 1:22:54 PM

SeeksOnlyOne

Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline

if i had my way, i think i would eliminate the holidays completely.........they hold nothing much for me except a chance to reflect on painful memories for the past few years.

but i have a grown son who i adore, and i smile for him.....i also make a big deal out of it because of where i work-too many happy shiny faces waiting for the arrival of the fat man with a beard.

i choose to do my best to keep my sadness within me, as it is mine to own, and no one elses fault. most years that gets me through this time of year.

and today, a xanax induced nap after gift opening and bfast helped my attitude a bunch too.

i gotta say, im beginning to be glad its almost over.

but Merry Christmas to all........i managed to find some joy in the day and i wish the same for each of you.

edited to add...i think it would help if we didnt begin the holiday stuff til after thanksgiving.......seeing trees in october in the stores just really pisses me off and sets my mood for the rest of the time...

< Message edited by SeeksOnlyOne -- 12/25/2007 1:24:25 PM >

_____________________________

it aint no good til it hurts just a little bit....jimmy somerville

in those moments of solitude, does everyone sometimes think they are insane? or is it just me?

(in reply to bipolarber)

Post #: 14

RE: Am I The Only One? - 12/25/2007 5:57:29 PM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: summerblossom

Am I the only one on this site that has a hard time around the holidays? I see everywhere so much cheeryness that I wonder if anyone else experiences depression over the holidays. I get more depressed over the holidays due to a couple of reasons. I hate the holidays and will be happy when they are over. Not only have I lost many loved ones leaving me with very few family and friends but I have had many past struggles where I have also been completely alone over the holidays so it brings up many negative feelings and emotions. I am also really poor so exchanging gifts and decorating and doing the things most people do are out of the question. It seems that the positive changes I have made in my life are always put on hold over the holiday season with all the chaos, traffic, exagerations and rush...And trust me, so you won't say it, I do appreciate the people I do have in my life and what I do have but I still get more lonely and depressed over the holidays. Please respond only if you feel the same way, it would be nice to feel not so alone. Thankyou. And one more thing, anyone know how to do those responses where you see the box of the previous person who posted? I don't have a clue how to do that!

Sometimes when I see posts about how people love the holidays, it makes me feel jealous, as if they are throwing it in my face how great a holiday they have. Only nice responses please, I have really had enough negativity for one day.

I am sorry that this is such a difficult time of the year for you...

It is that way for alot of people...loss piggybacks onto loss and the thoughts of how it should be or how it is for other people are often a sharp contrast to the reality of the way it is for us.

Some people relish their alone time, for others loneliness is excrutiatingly painful.

Warm thoughts...and for those living in the northern hemisphere, the days are getting longer...

I am sorry things are so difficult for you summerblossom.
aJ
*edit do to spelling

< Message edited by angelikaJ -- 12/25/2007 5:58:34 PM >

(in reply to summerblossom)

Post #: 15

RE: Am I The Only One? - 12/25/2007 6:03:19 PM

farglebargle

Posts: 10715
Joined: 6/15/2005
From: Albany, NY
Status: offline

I think people wouldn't be down on the holidays, if they weren't so blatantly exploited by Wal-Mart, etc...

_____________________________

It's not every generation that gets to watch a civilization fall. Looks like we're in for a hell of a show.

ברוך אתה, אדוני אלוקינו, ריבון העולמים, מי יוצר צמחים ריחניים

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 16

RE: Am I The Only One? - 12/25/2007 6:09:00 PM

KyttynTheMynx

Posts: 4880
Joined: 5/10/2006
From: Moosecrotch, Va
Status: offline

I faked my happiness all day. Yes, I was glad to meet the future Step Moms family, and was glad to be included in family traditions that didnt involve drunken fights, but every smile, and laugh was totally false. I have hated the holidays (Thanksgiving and Easter included) since my parents split. To top it off, the one person I wanted to speak with all day, has completely blown me off. Go figure. Atleast its all over for another year, and I can slowly regain my TRUE happiness.

_____________________________

Hibbie's Hottie

The next time you think I give a fuck, remember the 3 F's... Unless you are Feeding me, Financing me, or Fucking me, I don't give a fuck!!

"Kyttyn: The Other White Meat!" - DRH

10 Miles of Hot Chocolate Lovin'.

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 17

RE: Am I The Only One? - 12/25/2007 6:19:20 PM

Griswold

Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: summerblossom

Am I the only one on this site that has a hard time around the holidays? I see everywhere so much cheeryness that I wonder if anyone else experiences depression over the holidays. I get more depressed over the holidays due to a couple of reasons. I hate the holidays and will be happy when they are over. Not only have I lost many loved ones leaving me with very few family and friends but I have had many past struggles where I have also been completely alone over the holidays so it brings up many negative feelings and emotions. I am also really poor so exchanging gifts and decorating and doing the things most people do are out of the question. It seems that the positive changes I have made in my life are always put on hold over the holiday season with all the chaos, traffic, exagerations and rush...And trust me, so you won't say it, I do appreciate the people I do have in my life and what I do have but I still get more lonely and depressed over the holidays. Please respond only if you feel the same way, it would be nice to feel not so alone. Thankyou. And one more thing, anyone know how to do those responses where you see the box of the previous person who posted? I don't have a clue how to do that!

Sometimes when I see posts about how people love the holidays, it makes me feel jealous, as if they are throwing it in my face how great a holiday they have. Only nice responses please, I have really had enough negativity for one day.

I totally understand.

My dilemma is a little different than most, but it involves my ex wife.

We were married for 10 years....Christmas was always snowy, lots of music playing in the background, tinsel everywhere....

And then we got divorced....right around Christmas....

Sadly, that same Christmas in a fit of rage, I drove the car into the living room at about 50 mph....and....I only missed her by about a foot.

I'll always regret not having tried just a little harder (and aimed a little better)...so you can imagine...the holidays are somewhat bittersweet for me.

< Message edited by Griswold -- 12/25/2007 6:20:00 PM >

(in reply to summerblossom)

Post #: 18

RE: Am I The Only One? - 12/25/2007 9:47:46 PM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline

On these holidays, you have loss, struggled, and endured. Somehow, you've managed to still be here. If you look up, you'll notice that stars have never left you in total darkness and despair. You have made it this far. Is that not enough to thank and be happy for?

Rejoice and celebrate for you are a survivor who is an example that hard work and a smile can go along way. There may be more struggles to come, but nothing has you down past the ten count.

In a world of struggle, adversity, stress, chaos, and evil; You can show that there is good in this world and it's worth fighting for.

Remember the Grench and remember the Whos. Remember that little things make a big difference. Remember that you have accomplishments. Remember what it must have been like for grand and great grand parents during the Great Depression and yet they found the heart for celebration.

These holidays aren't here to celabrate our success and good times. They are here because most of us are struggling this time of the year. It's dark, cold, and dreary. That's why we have fire, lights, festivities, and cheer to fight off this drizzeld season. When we come together, we celebrate the fact that we have made it and how helping thy neighbor will get us through the next season.

Let this be your joy and cause for celebration and giving best wishes to all.

< Message edited by FangsNfeet -- 12/25/2007 9:50:27 PM >

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to summerblossom)

Post #: 19

RE: Am I The Only One? - 12/25/2007 10:51:40 PM

PanthersMom

Posts: 2215
Joined: 11/26/2007
From: Cleveland Ohio
Status: offline

i have hated the holidays for years. had alot to do with my ex hubby. since the divorce and meeting new hubby, i have made the effort to be more holiday tolerant, but i still hate christmas. i hate missing people i love. i hate the supersonic pace of life at this time of year, the phonies, the lies, the ripoffs, all that negative stuff. i hate christmas decorations in october. i wish people would stop trying to spend so much and learn to value more of what is really important. guess i'm a scrooge, but at least i'm honest about it.

PM

_____________________________

That which does not kill me, better run pretty damn fast

I miss my ex, but my aim is improving!

(in reply to FangsNfeet)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> Am I The Only One?

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094