Baaaaaaaaad, Bad Bad (Full Version)

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RiotGirl -> Baaaaaaaaad, Bad Bad (8/22/2005 5:33:54 AM)

Well its been a rough couple of days, more like a week, but days works. Yesterday, i had a friend of 3 years flip on me. Literally FLIPPED her noggin. She DOESNT like Master, something about ME not being in church and us being into BDSM. Bdsm in the world she lives in, is unhealthy and "sick" Happens to be i hadnt known this when i first brought it up to her. i mean she WAS the first person i had ever known to really go poly (for about a year)

So what was she doing yesterday. <sigh> She called the police ALL the way up in virginia, to have them ARREST Master, and have my kid taken. Quite easily, destroy my home life. Citing BDSM as the reason. "i know what those ppl do" 3 YEARS i've known this girl, through the good and the ugly with her. And i'm on the phone yesterday with the Fairfax Police and GOD KNOWS I HATE THE FAIRFAX POLICE. Trying to explain to the cops that she's a loon. Luckily i'm smart, and God knows what she said to the cop cos all he said was, she said was "she's worried about you"

BUT Good news. Master and i were able to talk it all down calmly with the cop to where the COP just decided that neither one of us should talk to each other again and the next phone call made would be harrassment. So What did she do? Called me 3 times last night. Guess what? We are pressing harrassment charges.

Moral of the story is, ya never know who your friends are. GOD KNOWS i never thought any friend of mine would be that stupid.



lonewolf05 -> RE: Baaaaaaaaad, Bad Bad (8/22/2005 6:25:17 AM)

and then MY shrink asks me why i have trouble trusting people?

can anyone spell oh duh!

wolfie

i try,.......but the world fights me.......




DesertRat -> RE: Baaaaaaaaad, Bad Bad (8/22/2005 6:42:37 AM)

I am sorry about your troubles, riotgirl. Your post, especially the 'moral of the story', got me thinking about friendship. I don't agree about never knowing. Sitting here with only one cup of coffee in me. I have six friends that I know would never turn on me. Any one of them might get a bit squirrely for awhile, due to some major emotional trauma, but that is true for me as well, and each of us will finally return to our baseline state of stable friendship. I also have some pretty close friends whom, when I think about it honestly, I could envision flipping on me the way your friend has on you. So what's the difference? For me, it's the test of time. My 6 'core' friends are, without exception, people I have known for a very long time. When I say "long time", I mean, like, 30 years or more. (Damn! How did I manage to become so old?) The friends I could see turning? Pretty close, but only have known them 3-5 years. I know alot about them and they about me, but the relationships have not been tested, so I do not know if they possess the depth and breadth of loves that have endured through thick and thin for so many years.

I appreciate your post this morning, cuz it got me thinking about my very best friends and how much I love each one of them. Then it made me think about those I call friends, but would not, when it comes down to it, trust with my life.

Then I got a 2nd cup of coffee and went back to thinking about my very best buds again, because it makes me feel happy to know they are out there...too early in the day to be less than happy.

Bob



pinkpleasures -> RE: Baaaaaaaaad, Bad Bad (8/22/2005 6:42:38 AM)

quote:

Moral of the story is, ya never know who your friends are. GOD KNOWS i never thought any friend of mine would be that stupid.

Riot Girl


The 'net version of this just happened to me. *sigh*

pinkpleasures



Quivver -> RE: Baaaaaaaaad, Bad Bad (8/22/2005 6:50:45 AM)

Riot ... sorry to hear of your plight. Nothing worse then realizing what you thought was, isn't.
I can offer this though, our boy's in blue are one of the kinkiest bunch you'll ever find.
So, even though the accusations are made that might shake the most nilla to the bone,
the badge on the other end is hearing with their own ears first.
Chin Up........ everything comes out in the wash.

Q



RiotGirl -> RE: Baaaaaaaaad, Bad Bad (8/22/2005 8:36:59 AM)

wish i had more more good dealings with the boys in blue then i've had bad, but sadly i have not. Just that one notion, that they have the power to destroy a persons live at their whim.. well .. doesnt sit well with me eh? i dunno what she said to the cop, she was all over the board with me. Aye i must be honest, i've never completely trusted her (as i dont completely trust anyone, really) and have worked in the past to instill fear in her. Simply by letting her know what i was about, how i operated, and what does not fly with me. Several old school rules i live by. In an odd way, i will say i was raised old school in this world. Not like raised, as my parents raised me.. but taught none the less. Somethings you dont do.

On the flip side, out of the whole mess, i learned a friend of mine was a better friend then i imagined. Actually met him Through the girl, aye and telling him the problem, he jumped right in. Him being in her area, had tons of advantages. his willingness to jump in and deal with her crazy stuff, possibly getting caught up in her craziness, bringing God knows what to his life.. just outstanding. Him being apart of a poly with her for a year.. and i just called to ask "would she really?" Impressive to know he was willing to jump into the fire to help me out. The man will not speak to the woman, but was willing to go to her house and speak to her.

so Desert, i agree. It made me think about my good friends too, and appreciate them.

wolf.. i hear you.



FangsNfeet -> RE: Baaaaaaaaad, Bad Bad (8/22/2005 8:57:48 AM)

yes it's crazy how people can all of a sudden change.

I remember a happily married pagan couple with a kid. Then clear out of the blue the husband became a relgious fantic of some of based christian cult. This cult even considered that Pokemon was a cartoon based off demons from hell. The weekend after joining these people he told his wife this is how there life was going to be. So the marriage ended in divorce and the custody battle for the kid still goes on.



EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Baaaaaaaaad, Bad Bad (8/22/2005 9:20:46 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkpleasures
The 'net version of this just happened to me. *sigh*

Somehow I don't think whatever happened to you online can compare to the anger, life issues and problems of the drama that Riot had to go through. You could just push a button and it would all be gone, no one was knocking on your door or threatening your freedom in life or that of your childs, not to mention a future record.

I don't normally say much against cyber only people, but comparing a cyber situation to a serious real life situation like this is too much.

The good thing is that Riot found out quickly that this person was not good for her and can block them out, a lot of situations take a long time and a lot of back biting before they get really nasty.



pinkpleasures -> RE: Baaaaaaaaad, Bad Bad (8/22/2005 9:54:24 AM)

quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkpleasures
The 'net version of this just happened to me. *sigh*

Somehow I don't think whatever happened to you online can compare to the anger, life issues and problems of the drama that Riot had to go through. You could just push a button and it would all be gone, no one was knocking on your door or threatening your freedom in life or that of your childs, not to mention a future record.

I don't normally say much against cyber only people, but comparing a cyber situation to a serious real life situation like this is too much.

The good thing is that Riot found out quickly that this person was not good for her and can block them out, a lot of situations take a long time and a lot of back biting before they get really nasty.


What a fool you are, Emerald. Who do you think you are insulting openly on the boards? Some new kid of 18?

pinkpleasures



EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Baaaaaaaaad, Bad Bad (8/22/2005 10:40:45 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkpleasures
Emerald. Who do you think you are insulting openly on the boards? Some new kid of 18?


I'm not insulting anyone. But I am talking to someone who has not had any real time offline experience and is trying to compare a fairly traumatic real life experience to a cyber snip.

I have nothing against people who are totally cyber, there are many legitimate reasons to remain solely online and I certainly know that people can and do form relationships from online correspondence.

But I think comparing the two experiences as if they ARE comparable like that does a great injustice to the real life scenario. It would be like telling someone who was sexually molested offline that you had a cyber experience like that. It's not at all the same.



CitizenCane -> RE: Baaaaaaaaad, Bad Bad (8/22/2005 11:24:01 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2


quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkpleasures
Emerald. Who do you think you are insulting openly on the boards? Some new kid of 18?


I'm not insulting anyone. But I am talking to someone who has not had any real time offline experience and is trying to compare a fairly traumatic real life experience to a cyber snip.

I have nothing against people who are totally cyber, there are many legitimate reasons to remain solely online and I certainly know that people can and do form relationships from online correspondence.

But I think comparing the two experiences as if they ARE comparable like that does a great injustice to the real life scenario. It would be like telling someone who was sexually molested offline that you had a cyber experience like that. It's not at all the same.



Yup.

Cane



Isolde -> RE: Baaaaaaaaad, Bad Bad (8/22/2005 11:44:39 AM)

Emerald isn't being insulting here, pink. She's pointing out, correctly, that there is a huge difference between having the cops called on you IRL, having to worry about losing your children, having a friend of 3 years being the source of these very real and scary problems...and having some problems with a person you met online.

There isn't really any way you can compare these two situations, and to try to do smacks of fishing for attention and sympathy.

That said, it would be nice to see at least a few threads go by without some headbutting over perceived insults cropping up. Yeesh.

I'm glad to hear the cops listened to you and your master, RiotGirl. What a mess. You're doing the right thing in filing charges against her for harassing you. It's sad that some people need that sort of extreme reaction to realize that they've crossed a line.



mossy -> RE: Baaaaaaaaad, Bad Bad (8/22/2005 11:52:42 AM)

Riot Girl i am deeply sad you had to go through this experience.
Not only the loss of trust again that you are working so hard to regain, but being forced to deal with the police which is so traumatic for you. Then the idea of possibly having your whole world torn apart, shattered by this person, whom you shared so many confidences with. Your bravery and strength Riot Girl amazes me. i am so very proud of the way you handled everything. Then writing and sharing it, you are a shining example to me of courage in Life. Thank You, seriously.



RiotGirl -> RE: Baaaaaaaaad, Bad Bad (8/22/2005 12:10:50 PM)

LOL thanks. But i didnt handle it, i just kept calm. Kept telling myself i WAS NOT letting this get to me and i was DONE with that drama and calling up my friend every few minutes to see if he had an updates. Master actually dealt with it, partially. i suppose he realised i was getting alittle bent out of shape when i started screaming into the phone, hanging it up and then just screaming out of frustration! i was told to kneel a couple of times just to calm down. Aye it was a bit nerve racking, especially talking to the cops. Aye mossy i think you know... Cops are the LAST people on the planet i would trust. LOL it wasnt until everything was all over that i started shaking and asked Master to tell me about 5 times that everything was okay now. aye i'd rather make light of it, as i dont need any sympathy. It wasnt a terrible miserable thing, (okay it sorta was and drove me insane while i was waiting to see if she could actually get the cops to show up AT my house) But it wasnt so bad i need sympathy! Just a close call i'm glad everything turned out okay. Just thought i'd share so others may gain something from it. Being that we've discussed it on the boards about being "open" and telling friends and family.

Honestly, i feel bad for Master. Having to deal with all that, being she was one my friends... ya know? THAT SUCKS. Other then that, i'm unaffected at this point. Plus i realised what a good friend i had up in Va. So really it all turned out well.



BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Baaaaaaaaad, Bad Bad (8/22/2005 12:29:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RiotGirl
Well its been a rough couple of days, more like a week, but days works. Yesterday, i had a friend of 3 years flip on me. Literally FLIPPED her noggin. She DOESNT like Master, something about ME not being in church and us being into BDSM. Bdsm in the world she lives in, is unhealthy and "sick" Happens to be i hadnt known this when i first brought it up to her. i mean she WAS the first person i had ever known to really go poly (for about a year)

So what was she doing yesterday. <sigh> She called the police ALL the way up in virginia, to have them ARREST Master, and have my kid taken. Quite easily, destroy my home life. Citing BDSM as the reason. "i know what those ppl do" 3 YEARS i've known this girl, through the good and the ugly with her. And i'm on the phone yesterday with the Fairfax Police and GOD KNOWS I HATE THE FAIRFAX POLICE.
How can you know and call someone a friend for 3years, and not have any idea they are judgemental interfering bastards who would destroy your life given the chance?
How can you trust a person who is so closed? M



RiotGirl -> RE: Baaaaaaaaad, Bad Bad (8/22/2005 12:35:57 PM)

Dont make assumptions Blk. Obvouisly i didnt know she was so closed and judgemental! i suppose when she used to CONVINCE me that my life would better if i would just go to the local clubs and meet ppl. Or the times she tried to convince me to do "other things" Or maybe it was the fact that she was in a poly relationship, or the fact that she had "dabbled" in BDSM before. God whatever possessed me to think she was closeminded. Must of been her screwing the whole neighborhood and her little "body piles" as she called them.

aye and i stayed friends with her then for her kids sake, helped her work through her screwy thinking. Then she got off the drugs and became a "christian" Didnt realise it meant she became a "fanatic" as well. i suppose because i had moved away from virginia awhile ago, i didnt excatly get to see how MUCH her thinking had changed and how it had gone. From the things she's done in the pass, and the ppl i knew she was hanging out with.. this was abit out of the blue. i know she got her act together.. but act together doesnt equal = close minded. In her case it does, so well whatever



fastlane -> RE: Baaaaaaaaad, Bad Bad (8/22/2005 12:55:16 PM)

Hi Riot
You know I can relate to that, but in a slightly different way. My ex., who left me and my sons for another man, filed a complaint to social services, saying that I was abusing my children. Geez, what a crock of B.S., but the services had to investigate. I felt really angry, but also betrayed that my ex., would pull a stunt like that.
Later, I realized it was merely her own guilt of leaving the boys which prompted her to act in such an illogical manner.
Anyway, social services told the ex that I was doing a better job raising the boys than most households with two parents and that was the end of that.
The nice thing that I came away with, was I became very good friends with the guidance counselor....very good friends[:)]

Well, I hope this all works out great for you in the end to Riot and now you know who your real friends are!



BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Baaaaaaaaad, Bad Bad (8/22/2005 2:42:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RiotGirl
she used to CONVINCE me that my life would better if i would just go to the local clubs and meet ppl. Or the times she tried to convince me to do "other things" Or maybe it was the fact that she was in a poly relationship, or the fact that she had "dabbled" in BDSM before. God whatever possessed me to think she was closeminded. Must of been her screwing the whole neighborhood and her little "body piles" as she called them.
aye and i stayed friends with her then for her kids sake, helped her work through her screwy thinking. Then she got off the drugs and became a "christian" Didnt realise it meant she became a "fanatic" as well
Okay sorry about the assumptions, and actually your reply is kinda funny, lol
quote:

Must of been her screwing the whole neighborhood and her little "body piles" as she called them
It is very important to pay attention to people whom you call friends and their behavior. It's the reason that knowing a lot of people doesn't equal to having a lot of friends.
To me, a friend is someone I would trust enough to leave alone in my house with my secrets, and the reason there are so few of them. M




pinkpleasures -> RE: Baaaaaaaaad, Bad Bad (8/22/2005 2:50:52 PM)

quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkpleasures
Emerald. Who do you think you are insulting openly on the boards? Some new kid of 18?


I'm not insulting anyone. But I am talking to someone who has not had any real time offline experience and is trying to compare a fairly traumatic real life experience to a cyber snip.

I have nothing against people who are totally cyber, there are many legitimate reasons to remain solely online and I certainly know that people can and do form relationships from online correspondence.

But I think comparing the two experiences as if they ARE comparable like that does a great injustice to the real life scenario. It would be like telling someone who was sexually molested offline that you had a cyber experience like that. It's not at all the same.

Emeraldslave2


First i apologise to the members that this conflict is B_A_A_C_K. Next, just in case anyone wondered, Em knows nothing about my private life. But i'm sure all of Y/you knew that already.

pinkpleasures



pinkpleasures -> RE: Baaaaaaaaad, Bad Bad (8/22/2005 2:55:15 PM)

quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2


quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkpleasures
Emerald. Who do you think you are insulting openly on the boards? Some new kid of 18?


I'm not insulting anyone. But I am talking to someone who has not had any real time offline experience and is trying to compare a fairly traumatic real life experience to a cyber snip.

I have nothing against people who are totally cyber, there are many legitimate reasons to remain solely online and I certainly know that people can and do form relationships from online correspondence.

But I think comparing the two experiences as if they ARE comparable like that does a great injustice to the real life scenario. It would be like telling someone who was sexually molested offline that you had a cyber experience like that. It's not at all the same.

Yup.

{Citizen] Cane


Well, i suppose there were bound to be some gullibable believers...*sigh*. Dismissing what i said as a "cyber snip" is assuming too much.

pinkpleasures



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