Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: What IS the Masters responsibilities


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: What IS the Masters responsibilities Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: What IS the Masters responsibilities - 9/10/2005 1:15:29 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		I agree with all of this except for the word "healthy." To say that a someone's responsibility is to maintain a healthy relationship is almost a tautology. The issue is what constitutes a "healthy" relationship, and I don't think you'll find any criteria that everyone will agree on.

quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

A persons responsibilities are to balance being true to themselves while maintaining a healthy relationship with the others in the relationship.

HOW that is done completely depends on the relationship. Some things dominants consider their responsibilities are things I am expected to be responsible for in my relationship and vice cersa. What specific "responsibilities" exist in any relationship needs to be decided on by the people involved and clearly communicated.


(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: What IS the Masters responsibilities - 10/4/2008 10:24:51 AM   
scottjk


Posts: 335
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		I scanned it, and I'm sorry to say, no one really answered the question.

I mean no offense everyone, but, a simple question deserves a simple answer. Occam's Razor.

The responsibilities of a master are the physical and mental health of the slave.

Physical areas can be diet, exercise and medical conditions. Like anything else they should be managed. If the slave is doing poorly, it's the master's responsibility to ensure that they are managed well until the slave develops new behaviors to manage them on their own.

Mental health areas can be education, social activities and, again, medical. If the slave is managing these poorly, then it's the master's responsibility to ensure that these are managed well until, gain, the slave develops new behaviors to manage them on their own.

I realize that this sounds a lot like 'fixing' slaves, but it isn't really. A master needs to establish the structure and discipline in the relationship in such a way so that the slave can thrive. Once it's established, it can pretty much run itself, with the occasional tweak here and there to fine tune it. It's a lot of work at first, but like anything else, you get what you put into it. :)

However, looking over things as a whole, a master should have the intelligence to determine where his hand should be and where his hand shouldn't be. Pulling a 'Dumb Dom' can cause a great deal of stress, trying to fix things that aren't broken. For instance, if she's in good physical shape, don't mess with it! Insist that it be maintained, but otherwise, leave it be! If you don't you could end up causing more problems in other areas, rather like pulling loose threads in a tapestry. You'll pull the entire tapestry out of shape!


_____________________________

Thou art fertile ground and I will plant a garden in thee.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: What IS the Masters responsibilities - 10/4/2008 10:31:07 AM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: whippedattitude

iam curious to hear from the Masters what they feel their responsibilities to their sub/slaves/play partners are?



'Long one short.............the provision of security.

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to whippedattitude)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: What IS the Masters responsibilities - 10/4/2008 10:39:05 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		I may get shot down here b ut in my view none, the only responsibilities a Master has are the ones they impose upon themselves. It is my responsibility to give myself to someone who wont hurt me, its my responsibility to be open and honest about myself to prevent that harm, its my responsibility to be with someone I am compatible with not his.

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to NorthernGent)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: What IS the Masters responsibilities - 10/4/2008 12:23:03 PM   
scottjk


Posts: 335
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

I may get shot down here b ut in my view none, the only responsibilities a Master has are the ones they impose upon themselves. It is my responsibility to give myself to someone who wont hurt me, its my responsibility to be open and honest about myself to prevent that harm, its my responsibility to be with someone I am compatible with not his.


That goes without saying, colouredin. While some Masters can appreciate a stupid slave, I certainly do not. I would think that a slave would not appreciate a stupid master.



_____________________________

Thou art fertile ground and I will plant a garden in thee.

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: What IS the Masters responsibilities - 10/4/2008 12:34:29 PM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		I think actually it doesnt go without saying. There is no standard one size fits all answer to this question as has been said before, we behave in a way that we consider moral or ethical those arent universal and have nothing to do with responsibility.

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to scottjk)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: What IS the Masters responsibilities - 10/4/2008 12:54:35 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		It depends on the people involved. Someone said to maintain the slave's health. Obviously if the s type is a personal trainer then she/he would be responsible for maintaining the master's health.

Same for anything else. If the s is an accountant, then fiscal responsibilities would devolve upon him/her.

And so on.

In my relationship; he considers keeping me less stressed to be a major responsibility simply because I panic when things get really rough. Since I tend to eat at irregular hours, he considers it his responsibility to tell me to make lunch. At the same time, he tends to get involved in projects and forgets about eating and drinking so it's my responsibility to bring him up water every couple of hours.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: What IS the Masters responsibilities - 10/4/2008 12:55:46 PM   
scottjk


Posts: 335
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

I think actually it doesnt go without saying. There is no standard one size fits all answer to this question as has been said before, we behave in a way that we consider moral or ethical those arent universal and have nothing to do with responsibility.


(Shrug)

It's a good thing I was considering 'practical' then, isn't it?

I feel that my answer suffices neatly, as a matter of fact. It provides a guideline for all levels of such a relationship. Just because the question is 'complex', doesn't mean that the answer should be. If I were to provide an 'exact fit' for all levels of all relationship, I'd have to write a VERY large book, so I can meet every variable and arrangement possible. Now THAT wouldn't be very practical, would it?

It's just amazing, really, how so many people insist that a complicated answer is more right than a simple answer. Personally, I EXPECT people to think for themselves. :)



_____________________________

Thou art fertile ground and I will plant a garden in thee.

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: What IS the Masters responsibilities - 10/4/2008 1:15:34 PM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: scottjk

It's just amazing, really, how so many people insist that a complicated answer is more right than a simple answer. Personally, I EXPECT people to think for themselves. :)




Call me cynical but I am more likely to expect people to have a different view from me. I also dont expect people will think for themselves hense my sig line. I dont think that people are saying that a complex answer is more right than a simple one I also dont see any complex answers in this thread.

I actually on a personal level become a bit offended if someone explains to me that they are responsible for making me anything to be honest because that implies I have no ability to recognise things in myself and my life that are potentially negative, I like to give myself more credit than that. All of life is a choice, yes I defer my choices to Sir but it was a choice to do that because I know we ally on most things, if we didnt I wouldnt have chosen to give him that power.

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to scottjk)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: What IS the Masters responsibilities - 10/4/2008 3:00:59 PM   
tweedydaddy


Posts: 673
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		Is this what is known as a twooo Dom thread? I only ask.

(in reply to whippedattitude)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: What IS the Masters responsibilities - 10/4/2008 5:35:16 PM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: whippedattitude

iam curious to hear from the Masters what they feel their responsibilities to their sub/slaves/play partners are?

That's a broad group... you're leaping from play partners to owned slaves and everything in between.  I doubt very much there is a single answer applicable to such a large and diverse grouping.

quote:

How much of it starts/ends with a session, and how much and to what levels does it carry over to every day life?

What session?  Are you only interested in the views of Tops who engage in play?  What about dominants of various stripes involved in long term relationships?  What about those for whom being dominant or submissive is a fundamental part of who they are... an aspect always present? 

quote:

Do you have different levels with different partners, based on the amount of interaction you have with them?

Again, this sounds more like you are addressing Tops at play parties or public dungeons who have multiple and perhaps random partners.

As such you may not find my perspective useful, as I don't believe I fit into the group you appear to be speaking too.  However....

As a frame of reference I refer to myself as a "master", which simply means I seek a specific kind of relationship dynamic... one where I "own" a slave, one where I hold a great deal of authority over said slave, and one where I expect said slave to be useful to me.  Consider the following in that frame of reference... though it might be interesting to consider it outside of it as well (just because I enjoy looking at things from different angles).

My chief responsibility as a master is to seek and ensure that my needs are met, and that my desires are served.  One means of this is by seeking out slaves to serve me; who through their service provide for some of my needs as well as some of my desires.  On second thought... that's actually the whole of my responsibility.

I'm not responsible for making her happy... either she's happy with the life she's chosen, and who she's with, or she isn't.  I will be who I am, if she isn't happy with that, she knows where the door is.
I'm not responsible for her security... I am responsible for mine.  I'll see to it I have a future, that my future is as secure as I can make it, etc.  She may, if that's her choice, try to ensure her own security by attaching herself to me.
I'm not responsible for her health... I am responsible for mine.  I'm not her personal trainer or dietician... I'm not her doctor or shrink... its not my job to be any of these things.  I might be able to help her in some of these areas because it suits me to do so... but my effectiveness is limited by my ability... and I'm not a professional in any of these areas.  If she feels she needs serious help in these areas, she should be relying on a professional, not an amateur such as myself.
I am not responsible for making her a better person, or fulfilling her potential, or setting her "free" or giving her purpose.  I will use her... I will utilize her as I see fit for my own gain, my own pleasure.  If that makes her feel fulfilled, great.  If serving me gives her a sense of purpose, terrific.  If being around me, learning from me by exposure to me, helps her be a better person... wonderful.  But its not my purpose to do any of those things.

Harsh and unromantic I know... but I prefer it that way.  YMMV

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to whippedattitude)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: What IS the Masters responsibilities - 10/4/2008 6:08:03 PM   
scottjk


Posts: 335
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

quote:

ORIGINAL: scottjk

It's just amazing, really, how so many people insist that a complicated answer is more right than a simple answer. Personally, I EXPECT people to think for themselves. :)




Call me cynical but I am more likely to expect people to have a different view from me. I also dont expect people will think for themselves hense my sig line. I dont think that people are saying that a complex answer is more right than a simple one I also dont see any complex answers in this thread.

I actually on a personal level become a bit offended if someone explains to me that they are responsible for making me anything to be honest because that implies I have no ability to recognise things in myself and my life that are potentially negative, I like to give myself more credit than that. All of life is a choice, yes I defer my choices to Sir but it was a choice to do that because I know we ally on most things, if we didnt I wouldnt have chosen to give him that power.


I am a cynic to the Nth degree, colouredin. :) However, I don't allow that to steal my joy. I expect people to think for themselves because I've found that assuming otherwise makes for a dull day in bright sunlight. People that don't think are beneath my notice as a result. Do I expect slaves to think? Damn right I do, or I don't bother with them. They're a burden, not a joy.

In all honesty, I view certain things as a given in my answer. For instance, I can rightly assume that if there is a financial problem that needs resolving (and it's often true that finances will cause chaos), that the master will strive to resolve it quickly, and the slave has already agreed that he should, knowing her best interests are involved. Whether or not this has actually happened is irrelevant but it can be a given for the sake of the argument. Just because it's not something YOU would do, doesn't mean that the point is invalid. If this is making you offended, I am sorry you feel that way, but I'm not sorry about what I've said. You've simply chosen an interpretation that gives you negative feelings, rather than choosing a positive interpretation that might give you positive feelings.

Like my father always said, "Keep it simple stupid!" I ignored that for quite a few years until the pain made it sink in. Every time I've tried for complex solutions, or made questions more complex than they need to be, I often failed. Now I keep things simple, change what I can, and bear what I cannot change.

So, keep it simple, or be miserable. :)


_____________________________

Thou art fertile ground and I will plant a garden in thee.

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: What IS the Masters responsibilities - 10/4/2008 8:41:41 PM   
ApathyRomance


Posts: 106
Joined: 4/2/2008
Status: offline 		One of my responsibilities is correcting grammar.  *Shrugs*

(in reply to RiotGirl)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: What IS the Masters responsibilities - 10/4/2008 10:14:36 PM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline 		Fast reply to no one in particular....
 
You tread on very flimsy ground when seeking to establish universal norms of responsibility for Dominants, or submissives/slaves.  Each relationship is unique, and the responsibility of each participant is to their partner(s) and whatever covenants they have made to each other... not some mythical list generated by an anonymous online source.
 
John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to ApathyRomance)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: What IS the Masters responsibilities - 10/5/2008 1:04:23 AM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		scottjk,

What Rover said.

Maybe that's why this thread died, three years ago.

_____________________________

Download SLAVE LOVER. Explicit BDSM porn, with a plot! A love story, on a FemDom planet! http://www.amazon.com/Slave-Lover-Chronicles-Book-ebook/dp/B0031ERBLI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1261973416&sr=1

(in reply to scottjk)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: What IS the Masters responsibilities - 10/5/2008 1:06:27 AM   
masterforRT


Posts: 176
Joined: 5/16/2008
Status: offline 		By the way, I believe it's what ARE the Master's responsibilities.

(in reply to RiotGirl)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: What IS the Masters responsibilities - 10/5/2008 1:46:42 AM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

Each relationship is unique



It's fair to say this is an oft-cited mantra on these boards......perhaps it needs some meat on the bones.....

Beyond face value, I believe it's possible to nail down a certain amount of common ground; for example, rules are underpinned by a common denominator: the need for stability.

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to Rover)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: What IS the Masters responsibilities - 10/5/2008 8:47:48 AM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent

It's fair to say this is an oft-cited mantra on these boards......perhaps it needs some meat on the bones.....

Beyond face value, I believe it's possible to nail down a certain amount of common ground; for example, rules are underpinned by a common denominator: the need for stability.


I agree that we could construct a list of "common" characteristics or responsibilities.  I would even go so far as to agree that in our fervor to preserve the uniqueness of each relationship, we often deny ourselves the benefit of learning from what we have in common. 
 
But judging by the drama I see in so many relationships (BDSM, vanilla, gay, lesbian, etc), I cannot believe that "stability" is anything approaching a "common denominator".  And I say that with no great joy.
 
John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to NorthernGent)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: What IS the Masters responsibilities - 10/5/2008 8:49:36 AM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

But judging by the drama I see in so many relationships (BDSM, vanilla, gay, lesbian, etc), I cannot believe that "stability" is anything approaching a "common denominator".  And I say that with no great joy.

Let's call it a common desire, that for stability, for security.  Yet something else so often seems to trump it... wonder what that could be?

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to Rover)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: What IS the Masters responsibilities - 10/5/2008 12:09:12 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: whippedattitude

iam curious to hear from the Masters what they feel their responsibilities to their sub/slaves/play partners are? How much of it starts/ends with a session, and how much and to what levels does it carry over to every day life? Do you have different levels with different partners, based on the amount of interaction you have with them?

Sex
Lots and lots and lots of sex

what else is there?



_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to whippedattitude)
Profile   Post #: 40
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: What IS the Masters responsibilities Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094