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RE: Intuition and a Story About Being Safe - 8/23/2005 1:33:34 PM

Quivver

Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

Your right not all men are towering, beer can crushing hulks, yet I would guess if there were numbers too look at more *females* then *males* have been in harms way. Not to Dis those that prefer a body similar to their own, but when dealing with heterosexuals from what I understand as a relative newbie in this life style dominant men far out number submissive women. When it comes down to it, we ALL have to play safe. Part of that is Intuition. And I believe that some of that insight can come from Online, somehow we do discern who we'd meet and who we'd not many times thru a font alone. Ahhh, story time....... when I first came to CM i stayed really quiet for the most part. Even my profile said I wasn't looking, I was here to lurk and learn. I read these boards and cruised profiles, every so often I would comment here or to someone's profile. One profile continually stood out, it spoke to me each and every time I read it, this was someone I wished was near by.

I sent a note stating how it never failed to make me smile and we began chatting. Months and months later a business trip brought him near me. I never hesitated, just drove across town, had dinner and curled up in his arms. What I'm getting at is, your gut be it online or in person does know for the most part what's right. I'm ecstatic I followed mine, I'll be moving soon to join him. hee heee, and I've yet to see him crush a beer can.

Q

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Post #: 21

RE: Intuition and a Story About Being Safe - 8/23/2005 3:04:50 PM

pinkpleasures

Posts: 1114
Status: offline

quote:

I have to agree with Veav here - men are just as 'at risk' as women - and bad occurances do happen. I met one Dom for a social meet whom is a really good friend to me, who set up safecalls for himself and everything because His risk was wondering if I was some sub with a Sadistic Master ready to beat him up... It happens - and to think otherwise would put many men at risk.

Peace and Love

Edit to add -

Lol - I see Mr Thorns beat my post so I am adding I agree with Veav and Mr Thorns.
Also - just to add - that the man I met for a social meet is a close friend now - but not at the time we first met - obviously - lol - if that makes sense...

dark-angel

i apologised to Veav and Mr Thorns already, dark angel.

pinkpleasures

< Message edited by pinkpleasures -- 8/23/2005 3:05:16 PM >

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Post #: 22

RE: Intuition and a Story About Being Safe - 8/23/2005 3:08:59 PM

pinkpleasures

Posts: 1114
Status: offline

quote:

quote:

Ah? I'm sorry, I'm still pretty inexperienced in this field. Somewhere along the line, I formed the impression that men can also be raped, abused, lied to, violated and exploited. Thanks for clearing that up!

Veav

You're right of course. i do not mean men need not care about their safety; anyone can be armed with a pistol, e.g. Thank You, Veav.

pinkpleasures

Veav posted twice before i apologised. RE: Intuition and a Story About Being Safe - 8/23/2005 10:55:25 AM

RE: Intuition and a Story About Being Safe - 8/23/2005 11:52:14 AM

*sighs* as nothing can be done; thread is hijacked.

< Message edited by pinkpleasures -- 8/23/2005 3:28:08 PM >

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Post #: 23

RE: Intuition and a Story About Being Safe - 8/23/2005 3:10:46 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

God, if I had nickel for every person online that cried that someone used or abused them and weren't telling the truth or whole truth. I'd have a lot of nickels.

The stance I adopted years ago (after getting sucked in by several "victims") was that unless I know at least one of the people involved in real life and on better status than just "Hello", I withhold judgement. It way too easy to do permanent damage to someone's reputation over a game of he said, she said (Or even she said, she said or he said, he said)

I agree with Emerald, intuition is a great tool. More people should listen to their gut instincts.

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Post #: 24

RE: Intuition and a Story About Being Safe - 8/23/2005 3:16:22 PM

pinkpleasures

Posts: 1114
Status: offline

quote:

The main thing that puts women more 'at risk' is the belief that women are more 'at risk'. The opposite is true of men. They seem less 'at risk' because the belief is men are less 'at risk'. The attitude that a woman is weaker and more vulnerable is the biggest problem in these types of discussions. I don't think 'I have to be more careful because I'm a woman'. I believe I need to be careful because there are crazy men AND women out there who might want to do me harm.

luvdragonx

Once again, posted before i first apologised.

pinkpleasures

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Post #: 25

RE: Intuition and a Story About Being Safe - 8/23/2005 3:21:10 PM

pinkpleasures

Posts: 1114
Status: offline

quote:

RE: Intuition and a Story About Being Safe - 8/23/2005 11:52:22 AM

The second time Veav posted on this subject followed my apology.

RE: Intuition and a Story About Being Safe - 8/23/2005 11:52:14 AM

But i accept the people here sometimes "shoot from the hip; no offense was taken.

pinkpleasures

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Post #: 26

RE: Intuition and a Story About Being Safe - 8/23/2005 5:14:24 PM

MsIncognito

Posts: 742
Joined: 5/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Veav

quote:

MsIncognito
Dayum! Where do I get me one of those?

Ebay!

*slaps self in forehead* Of course!

(in reply to Veav)

Post #: 27

RE: Intuition and a Story About Being Safe - 8/23/2005 5:22:07 PM

MsIncognito

Posts: 742
Joined: 5/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kc692

Not necessarily, pink. In offline, there are women who, although may supposedly be the "weaker sex" bring along a gun, or knif, or talk the man into being tied up, or have someone in the hotel with them when then man arrives. So, the distinction is not as great as you would like to believe.....men face possible danger just like women, and need to take precautions also. In addition, not all men are towering hunks of flesh, able to crush beer cans in their bare hands...

While that kind of thing is possible, though unlikely, I think males have much more to worry about than their physical safety. I've seen subs completely ruin a Dom's reputation (some just within the community, others in "real" life). It's amazing how quickly the community rallies around the ostensible damsel in distress and lynch the Dom all in the name of keeping the community safe. Doms also have to worry about being charged with things like rape, forcible confinement (hello bondage!) and the like and a criminal record will affect more than one's standing in the community. It's amazing how much damage a vindictive sub can do without ever touching a hair on a Dom's head.

(in reply to kc692)

Post #: 28

RE: Intuition and a Story About Being Safe - 8/23/2005 5:48:29 PM

CitizenCane

Posts: 349
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline

It seems to me that any meeting with a stranger- or even someone you know, when it comes right down to it- has both risks and potential rewards. How we assess these has as much to do with our internal landscape as with anything going on in the outside world. Pink's 'intuition' tells at least as much about her as it does about the man in her story- more, because we have Pink's own words, but not his. Likewise, Veav gives us a look at what's going on in his mind- clearly he's more optimistic and less risk-averse. It's worth keeping in mind, however, that neither optimism nor pessimism about our fellow humans actually tells us the truth about them. That is something revealed by experience.
It's certainly permissible to pass on some experiences- just give them a miss. And 'intuition' is a valid reason for doing so. It is not, however, a valid reason for 'knowing' the truth about an unseen, unmet person. These kinds of untested certainties simply make peole prisoners of their own- or even others'- fears.

Cane

(in reply to Quivver)

Post #: 29

RE: Intuition and a Story About Being Safe - 8/23/2005 5:48:59 PM

Faramir

Posts: 1043
Joined: 2/12/2005
Status: offline

I don't know what is more pathetic, the "Men are evil" constancy of this kind of post, or the enthusiasm for he-said-she-said online drama.

HS wasn't shit compared to this.

(in reply to MsIncognito)

Post #: 30

RE: Intuition and a Story About Being Safe - 8/23/2005 5:59:09 PM

kc692

Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsIncognito

quote:

ORIGINAL: Veav

quote:

MsIncognito
Dayum! Where do I get me one of those?

Ebay!

*slaps self in forehead* Of course!

Look in the members only section...

(in reply to MsIncognito)

Post #: 31

RE: Intuition and a Story About Being Safe - 8/23/2005 6:03:58 PM

smilezz

Posts: 2156
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline

You said it perfectly Faramir: Online Drama

~smilezz~

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Post #: 32

RE: Intuition and a Story About Being Safe - 8/23/2005 6:16:59 PM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

I believe in and rely on my intuition.

I was simply saying that unless individuals have actually met and observed each other, all online talk is just that--talk.

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Post #: 33

RE: Intuition and a Story About Being Safe - 8/23/2005 6:26:20 PM

MsIncognito

Posts: 742
Joined: 5/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kc692

Look in the members only section...

OMG! Too funny

Wish I'd thought of that!

(in reply to kc692)

Post #: 34

RE: Intuition and a Story About Being Safe - 8/23/2005 6:51:53 PM

smilezz

Posts: 2156
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline

quote:

I was simply saying that unless individuals have actually met and observed each other, all online talk is just that--talk.

I absolutely agree with this statement. I think that there are more than a few posts where i too have stated that unless someone has met face to face....makes no difference. Most problems can be solved coming from any type of online chat by clicking that little X in the upper right hand corner of the screen. I have been online since AOL started....i have learned many hard lessons from what is real and what is not. Any individual(s) that claim to know anything about another person and has not met them in r/l, interacted with them has no leg to stand on....so to speak. I have heard more he said/she said bullshit than most will in a lifetime(ok, maybe not a lifetime, just feels that way)it's not real unless i know them(in r/l).

~smilezz~

< Message edited by smilezz -- 8/23/2005 7:04:27 PM >

_____________________________

=It's not my fault that when I was a baby I was dropped in a box of Glitter & I have been shinin' ever since=

�*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,-:* �

(in reply to perverseangelic)

Post #: 35

RE: Intuition and a Story About Being Safe - 8/23/2005 9:29:29 PM

RiotGirl

Posts: 3149
Status: offline

Ooooooooo i want to talk about intuition and safety!!!! Me Me ME!!!! <raises hand>

Okey Dokey.. i'm a freak. Never done a safe call in my short life. Prolly cos well, when i meet some one out at a bar i dont feel the need to safe call meeting them again. When i meet a friend of a friend, i dont feel i need to safe call to meet that other friend. AND because i dont believe evil ppl necassarily attack on the first meeting. They're working to put you at ease then. Could care less about them. <hangs head low> i'm a god awful shame to myself! <wicked grin>

When it comes to safety. Oddly, i dont worry about physical violence either. Not one bit either. i dont worry about meeting strange ppl. Yuppers, i used to hitch hike.. not worry about diddly and if detected the slightest bit of "zaniness" i'd keep em talking about their loved ones. All else fails you make sure you can be quick enough to swing your feet up and kick em in the head

Intuition is good. Met one Dom off this site that i WOULD NOT meet unless he brought his little person along. Twas wary of him the whole time in his presence (no "reason" why) Then little things, nothing major started alerting me. Little insignificant things. But i saw. Ayep. Made sure i booked out of his presence with out him having a the slightest clue until too late. Before ya know it, i've a nut on the IM, on CM mail and on MY mail freaking out on me, telling me what a messed up person i was.. but "come to them, they can help"

Met another Dom. Took my usual non cautions. Met him in a dark alley, in the darkest of dark nights (so to speak), handcuffed myself with in 10 minutes of meeting this man.. and i am engaged to him now.

Strange.. One man, wouldnt meet him unless he had company with him. Another man, i put my life in his hands with in 10 MIN of meeting him. Coincidinky? i think not. For those who are slooooooooooooooow (How to keep a blond entertained? Give her a card that says on both sides "please turn over") First guy, bad intuition, turned out to be a nut job. Second guy, good intuition, turned out to be the man i will marry.

< Message edited by RiotGirl -- 8/23/2005 9:39:48 PM >

(in reply to perverseangelic)

Post #: 36

RE: Intuition and a Story About Being Safe - 8/23/2005 9:40:42 PM

girl4you2

Posts: 1622
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline

My intuition told me she was not lying.
My whole point is...if it feels "off"...stay away.
..to assure them that intuition does exist and is worth listening to...doubting oneself is unwise.

while i haven't yet read everything here, i am a firm believer in my intuition, and when i've listened to it, i've done well, and when i've not, i've more often than not regretted not heeding my inner feelings. when one is in tune with one's feelings, one should listen to what they say and pay attention to any "red flags" that cross it.

(in reply to pinkpleasures)

Post #: 37

RE: Intuition and a Story About Being Safe - 8/23/2005 10:18:49 PM

zaynab

Posts: 377
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline

Hi pink *smile
Thank you for sharing this information with us. I was just sitting here this evening wondering about this very thing. When I get 'that feeling' that something is wrong about a situation, I also wonder if I'm just being paranoid.

I ask for the opinions of others, to compare with how I am perceiving the situation but being that I am the one who has to make the ultimate decision, I still end up feeling troubled and unsure.

To me, it doesn't matter if your information log is actually the total truth or not... just you reminding us to pay attention to those internal warning bells, and not to disregard them has been very encouraging.

I'm sure men have safety risks, the same as women do.... so for all you men out there... heads up! pink's safety reminder should apply to you as well! Thanks again, pink! ~ zay

(in reply to pinkpleasures)

Post #: 38

RE: Intuition and a Story About Being Safe - 8/24/2005 3:39:23 AM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

Why do you think there is even something called "female intuition"? Because it does exist and it is accurate as long as you listen to it and trust it.

(in reply to zaynab)

Post #: 39

RE: Intuition and a Story About Being Safe - 8/24/2005 4:56:17 AM

pinkpleasures

Posts: 1114
Status: offline

quote:

I don't know what is more pathetic, the "Men are evil" constancy of this kind of post, or the enthusiasm for he-said-she-said online drama.

HS wasn't shit compared to this.

Faramir

Faramir..i said in the Op post that i knew some P/pl would never accept that intuition was a valid basis for making a decision. That's a perfectly acceptable position to take, and i also said in the Op post that i had no need nor intention to debate intuition with such P/pl. i guess it's different for E/everyone; possibly You have never experiened a sense of ill-at-ease without knowing exactly why, and based on that, departed.

The Op post had nothing to do with "men are evil". It could just have easily been another fem subby i was slated to meet and did not. The Op post was about the value of intuition...so i suppose if You feel that intuition is worthless, we won't see You posting here anymore.

Lastly Faramir, Your points and posts would be taken more seriously if You did not seem to feel the impluse to insult E/everyone with whom You disagree.

pinkpleasures

< Message edited by pinkpleasures -- 8/25/2005 3:47:39 PM >

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