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RE: Age Difference on the Path - 1/10/2008 6:23:47 PM

Griswold

Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

What is considered a reasonable age difference for a solid D/s relationship?
Indeed there will be the normal "whatever works" inputs, but at core we all operate with a range that we consider appropriate.

Myself being one of the more"elder" of the dominant group have a fairly rigid parameter that will work for a long term relationship, but since so many profiles tend to make age a criteriain their profiles, it a subject for a consensus review.

CP

I've been asked that before (once by a woman who was decidedly gorgeous, highly intelligent, and overwhelmingly gracious).

When she asked me the above, I was 47...she was 29.

This woman, if you saw her on the street....was easily everything any man could ever want.

A Domme...yet she was the type that would happily stay home to raise kids (me being an older, male sub...no kids...that was pretty appealing), take care of me, handle the finances (all I had to do was go out and slay dragons...something I do fairly well), and I believe...would still be capable of being a Domme, heartfelt in every way.

And as it so happened...very few women have the same kinks as men...those that claim to...rarely do...mostly it's a cover up (or it may even be their own fully held beliefs at that moment)...but she did...claim it...and I believe...she owned it.

If I had, on a scale of 1 to 10....11 kinks that hit a solid measure of 12....she had 17 more that hit a measure of 20.

If you were to make out a list as to all the things on a WIITWD list...and my list included 48 things....she had 39 more...(and they were even kinkier than mine).

But I told her one day..."Hon...I'm 47 today...you're 29. I make very good money...and you see what I do as intriguing...even sexy in some ways....but someday I'll be 60...and you'll be 42. And when you're 55...in your prime...I'll be....

Needing my ass wiped.

I don't know what the difference in age should be (and I've seen several "May/December" relationships blossom and be spectacular)...but I suspect it ain't 28 years.

YMMV.

(in reply to CelticPrince)

Post #: 161

RE: Age Difference on the Path - 1/10/2008 6:26:55 PM

Tantriqu

Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline

Intellectually, I don't have hard limits for a sub's age other than above age of consent and under mid-50's.
In reality, the oldest I've Taken has been 39.
guys in the 20's and 30's seem more interested and interesting.

(in reply to Griswold)

Post #: 162

RE: Age Difference on the Path - 1/10/2008 9:46:57 PM

cautiousiasub

Posts: 199
Joined: 10/17/2005
Status: offline

I used to have an age limit in mind. Every time, I would make an exception and go a little higher. It started out at 6 years difference, moved to 8, then 10. There is a 15 year age difference between me and my Master. There are several arguments against this much of an age difference but in reality age doesn't become an issue until the people make it an issue. We've never had any problems relating to each other on any level. We didn't share the same life experiences. we grew up in different decades. So what? I like to hear his stories of the life he's led, he's had some amazing experiences. He laughs at me because to him, I tend to be a little sheltered and naive.

We have similar lifestyle preferences, so we have never had any problem there. We have compatible kinks. As far as vanilla interests, we may not always agree on the same type of music, movies, etc. but it gives us both an opportunity to expand our horizons. Life and relationships aren't about finding our mirror image, it's about finding someone who complements us. Age is a number and nothing more.

<Edited because I never see the typos until it's already posted.

< Message edited by cautiousiasub -- 1/10/2008 9:48:04 PM >

_____________________________

"If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam." - Johnny Carson

(in reply to Tantriqu)

Post #: 163

RE: Age Difference on the Path - 1/11/2008 9:23:12 AM

subtee

Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

I feel that they physiocal attraction for younger people is based on our biology. Someone past the breeding age generally excites less instinctive lust-sex IS programmed as part of reproduction.

So....it becomes an intellectual exercise? You gotta talk yourself into finding attraction for those that aren't "younger?"

_____________________________

Don't believe everything you think...

(in reply to Leatherist)

Post #: 164

RE: Age Difference on the Path - 1/11/2008 9:35:16 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

I am having a hard time with this age thing. I am 63 and have no problems with women down to their 20's. For some reason I have never been told that I am to old. So I am of the mindset that people who are hung up on age need an attitude adjustment. Forget the age and deal with the person.

(in reply to subtee)

Post #: 165

RE: Age Difference on the Path - 1/11/2008 9:45:32 AM

ownedandcollared

Posts: 217
Joined: 1/21/2006
Status: offline

i think, personally, Doms and Masters should be older, because they have had more time to gain experience and more time to develop preference, so that training can become streamlined and more personalized.

my Master is 47, i am 21. i think that we have a perfect age difference for the dynamic.

(in reply to Evility)

Post #: 166

RE: Age Difference on the Path - 1/11/2008 9:53:46 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedandcollared

i think, personally, Doms and Masters should be older, because they have had more time to gain experience and more time to develop preference, so that training can become streamlined and more personalized.

my Master is 47, i am 21. i think that we have a perfect age difference for the dynamic.

I was just wondering where this thread had got to.
No I absolutely dosagree with the above.
Again: my Master is at least 20 years younger than myself and we both plan to 'play' with the best other couple I have met to-date.
He is 30 years younger than myself and she is 16 years younger than myself and therefore older than her Dom.
Let's just get open minded here and take age, gender and ethnicity out of the closet.

There is no better common denominator avross those I play with, get attracted and get attached to other than their role in the dynamic.

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 1/11/2008 9:56:22 AM >

(in reply to ownedandcollared)

Post #: 167

RE: Age Difference on the Path - 1/11/2008 10:10:49 AM

meticulousgirl

Posts: 969
Joined: 2/20/2007
Status: offline

to me it's not about the ages of the people considering one another, it's about the compatibility that two people share, the chemistry, and where each other is at within their journey of life and lifestyle.

~meticulous~

(in reply to Evility)

Post #: 168

RE: Age Difference on the Path - 1/11/2008 10:17:55 AM

LdyWinter71

Posts: 15
Joined: 12/28/2007
Status: offline

Well, I think what people find acceptable varies....I am 36 yrs old, most of the subs/slaves I have dealt with seem to range from 28 to 45. However, my partner is 23 yrs. old. Generally, I have to tell you W/we get a lot of flack about the difference between us. Had someone asked me awhile back if I would ever be involved with someone so young, I would have flatly said, 'no way'. However, I can be a bit childish for my age (grudging admission), and he is quiet mature for His age, so it works for us. Though I must admit, the thing that concerns me most with sign ficant age difference in relationships, (whether is BDSM or not), is the later years....
When your partner is in the middle of their life, and you are approaching the end of yours (or vice versa)...it can be hard. I know no one likes to think about it, and it is a bit selfish I guess, but who wants to be single, mourning and come out of it to the world of dating again in their late 40's or early 50's. It's much harder to find people when you're older. Now I realize that a younger person could die first, and that you never know when you're going to loose someone; But let's face it, the odds go up considerably (barring any medical issues and/or accidents) when the other person is 10 plus years your senior.
So, I guess, (to finally summarize an answer to the question), I would say that if age is a concern for you, or how others view the age difference is a concern for you, then I would stay within 3 to 5 years of your age. Just the opinion of one.
-Kerilah Winter

_____________________________

"I disagree with what you say but will defend, to the death, your right to say it".

(in reply to CelticPrince)

Post #: 169

RE: Age Difference on the Path - 1/11/2008 3:31:48 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LdyWinter71
I know no one likes to think about it, and it is a bit selfish I guess, but who wants to be single, mourning and come out of it to the world of dating again in their late 40's or early 50's.

I would like to think it is possible to come out of mourning at any age.....and as for me?
i am like a fine wine....and at the age of being priceless

(in reply to LdyWinter71)

Post #: 170

RE: Age Difference on the Path - 1/21/2008 10:05:05 AM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
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Griswold,

many thanks for your progressive analogy on age, as you hit the crux of the question / that being the future.

CP

(in reply to Griswold)

Post #: 171

RE: Age Difference on the Path - 1/21/2008 10:11:48 AM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
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cautious

, I appauld your outlook at the present time, but check out Griswold 's thoughts that appear a bit before yours.

CP

(in reply to cautiousiasub)

Post #: 172

RE: Age Difference on the Path - 1/21/2008 10:17:09 AM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
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subtee,

yes so it would seem to many; but there is always another side to a position.

CP

(in reply to subtee)

Post #: 173

RE: Age Difference on the Path - 1/21/2008 10:19:59 AM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline

Dnomyar,

Well to each his/her own but how long do you think your gonna hand on to that lovely 20 yo when your sex life is dependent on cialus.

CP

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 174

RE: Age Difference on the Path - 1/21/2008 10:22:45 AM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline

owned,

well if it works for you both at this point in time, it is a good thing, but how about 15 years down the road.

CP

(in reply to ownedandcollared)

Post #: 175

RE: Age Difference on the Path - 1/21/2008 10:27:55 AM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline

meticulous,

It appears that for this point of time, your settled in, I hope it continues.

CP

(in reply to meticulousgirl)

Post #: 176

RE: Age Difference on the Path - 1/21/2008 10:29:43 AM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

I have always stuck with 10 years younger, 10 years older. I have had no problem attracting younger Doms. MILFs are all the rage these days. I pass no judgement on others. What works for me is someone close to my age with similar generational experiences. I also dont want a younger Dom as I like to have someone who I can look up tp and it seems I need someone with as much or more experience than me to be my daddy.

(in reply to MissHarlet)

Post #: 177

RE: Age Difference on the Path - 1/21/2008 10:34:48 AM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
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LdyWinter,

Another conservative view with an eys to the future, but 3 to 5 years might be a little too tight for those in the 50's .

CP

(in reply to LdyWinter71)

Post #: 178

RE: Age Difference on the Path - 1/21/2008 10:46:31 AM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline

luscious,

I agree that 10 years is a good criteria, fact is I followed it for decades, spanning into vanilla, but there are instances that can extend that given the person to be considered.

CP

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

Post #: 179

RE: Age Difference on the Path - 1/29/2008 8:57:53 AM

MasterTrader

Posts: 9
Joined: 1/28/2008
Status: offline

Like D/s age is a state of mind and a sense of being, my wife/submissive is 21yrs younger than me and the best thing about the age difference is that we learn things from each other. I have seen the posts where there are age requirements set, which I am sure they have their reasons, however by doing so they are eliminating a whole group of people that could possibly add much to their lives.

I shall pass this way but once. Therefore, any good that I can do or any kindness that I can show, let me do it now, for I shall not pass this way again.

(in reply to CelticPrince)

Post #: 180

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