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A Dominant's efforts during subspace - 1/6/2008 1:29:51 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		A skilled Top can control a submissive's space keep and keep them there for a prolonged period of time from minutes to multiple hours if they so desire by maintaining or applying different intensities. The submissive is often aware of little more than bits and pieces of what is occurring during this time. Sensations are warped and pain is often not processed as pain. Do you as a Dominant feel that your efforts during this time are somewhat of a waste because of the level of unawareness or inability to fully feel? Submissives, do you feel badly that you can't remember some parts of a scene afterward?

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RE: A Dominant's efforts during subspace - 1/6/2008 1:38:24 PM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

A skilled Top can control a submissive's space keep and keep them there for a prolonged period of time from minutes to multiple hours if they so desire by maintaining or applying different intensities.


Just a quick note to state that it takes quite a bit more than skill to do that... it takes a deep familiarity with your partner.  Each bottom/submissive/slave is different, reacts differently, requires different things, etc.  Skill alone doesn't cut it.

quote:


The submissive is often aware of little more than bits and pieces of what is occurring during this time. Sensations are warped and pain is often not processed as pain. Do you as a Dominant feel that your efforts during this time are somewhat of a waste because of the level of unawareness or inability to fully feel?


Not at all.  The ability to get her there, and keep her there... to have that kind of control over her... is really quite fulfilling.  Quite.
 
John



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RE: A Dominant's efforts during subspace - 1/6/2008 1:44:45 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover
Just a quick note to state that it takes quite a bit more than skill to do that... it takes a deep familiarity with your partner.  Each bottom/submissive/slave is different, reacts differently, requires different things, etc.  Skill alone doesn't cut it.
John


John, you are most likely correct. I guess it really didn't come to mind because I don't scene with anyone that I have not reached a level of deep familiarity with. Thank you for pointing that out though.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

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RE: A Dominant's efforts during subspace - 1/6/2008 1:53:55 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline 		Deat mistoferin
i do not 'not' remember any parts of a scene, indeed my recall becomes heightened and will contain various highspots or 'flashbulb' memory oints.
I therefore need to distinguish two distinct aspets of my s0-called sub space: awareness and tolerance. During a scene my awareness is increased and my tolerance towards pain is increased (meaning my sensitivity to pain is decreased). Overall as the years passs and in general my sensitivity to pain is decreasing but pain itself acts like a dug and withdrawal from pain allows for teh return to sensitivity. (Master P. knows this and will decrease the pain he delivers during a scene in order that my tolerance doesn't build which would void its effectiveness. That is if he wants me to feel the pain. There is a side to his sadism that will want me not to feel the pain also, especially when je begins to sense I am enjoying it.
But as to subspace: this can begin for me at the mment that the scene is decided, on my journey to Him or His journey to me. This is when I have o be careful that I can multi-task without making mistakes, such as driving, as what will happen, what might happen, the look in his eyes, the his gestrues, the sound of his voice will all be incresingly pre-occupying me.
There is usually a crscendo to the bdsm part of our togetherness. It is always different and usually not what I would have wanted, but then I am the submissive. Since He has made me his property it has felt that my will has played a lesser and lesser role which both feels secure and unsafe at the same time But that agian is nother thread is it not? But my sybspace is a very intense shift of attention I would say more than awareness (which is heightened). My sub space is actually like an extended peak experience and it is sexual from beginning to end.all of it, regardless of what would be regarded as sexual behaviour from another's view point. 
Come down and return to'everyday' space is really really difficlt for me because of the profound difference between the genders (and I do think there is a gender difference for me when we are male D and f S type. It takes hours if not days to come down from a scene and indeed I am both grateful but have to be carful of this. I can stay eroticised for days after and there is the possibility that I could be simply promiscuous as more sex helps to ground me from the s/m activities. In the past, when sex was a safer activity, then I was highly promiscuous and there's no point in my saying that I particularly cared who I sexed with. I didn't.
I am falling out of subspace today. Putting away Christmas decorations and going back to work tomorrow is not helping.
It all equals depression I believe but Master doesn't do after-care that well (but is getting better. I hope he doesn;t feel that he is less of a Master because he was nice last time).
The pain is always the pivotal moment for me and the sene always crystalises itsef around it. Unless I don;t remember that I don't remember then I think that the above is what happens. I have been date-drugged and that I did not remember for many years. I know the difference. PS too sad to check typos so sorry for any.

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RE: A Dominant's efforts during subspace - 1/6/2008 1:54:55 PM   
juliaoceania


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Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

Submissives, do you feel badly that you can't remember some parts of a scene afterward?


No, I do not feel bad about the loss of memory or perceptions that are mistaken. When I am in subspace that deeply, it is about savoring that moment. It is about wishing I could stop time and just stay right there. It is about being one with that moment... the "reality" of what it is isn't so important, it is my internal reality that is what really matters.

Just to give examples of how far out there my memory can be here is an example:  when we get to certain places, even though I am blindfolded for the entire scene, I recreate the memory of the scene with visuals. In my memory I can see the room, even though I know that is not logically possible. It is almost like a spiritual out of body experience, because I can see the room from positions that I am not tied in... in my mind. I do not know if that was what my perceptions were during the scene, but in my memories of it, I can see in my mind's eye the room, what he was doing to me, and even how the wind moved a curtain... far out, huh?


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RE: A Dominant's efforts during subspace - 1/6/2008 2:02:32 PM   
littlebitxxx


Posts: 732
Status: offline 		I think that for a Top to be able to do that is phenomenal.  Like Rover said, it is more than just skill, but also the familiarity of the bottom and her behaviour/reactions.  Sometimes even a Top and bottom playing together for the first time can achieve this but it's rare.  Some seem to just have the innate ability to read another and act accordingly.  To be a waste of time means, to me, that the Top isn't interested in an enjoyable scene for both.  I'm sure there are some out there that feel that if she's enjoying it that much, he must not be 'dominant' enough and so will screw it up on purpose.  Most, I've found anyway, enjoy the feeling of control and the "Domspace" it brings them.  As a bottom, I don't feel badly. After all, isn't that what is supposed to happen in a really good scene?  I consider it a huge success on both parts if the Top can put me out for a length of time.  It means I'm really enjoying it and he is getting off on his own space. 

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The people that mind don't matter and the people that matter don't mind.

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RE: A Dominant's efforts during subspace - 1/6/2008 2:14:39 PM   
MidMichCowboy


Posts: 665
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline 		I think its great when they loose themselves so much that they can't always remember individual moments. I consider it a success when the lady loses herself in the feelings. To me, it isn't the exact moment that is important, but the feelings, emotions and the release that I can provide. It must be done with care and knowledge, but its such a great feeling of control.

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RE: A Dominant's efforts during subspace - 1/6/2008 3:28:30 PM   
junecleaver


Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline 		No, I don't feel bad about it.  If he wanted me out of subspace, he'd take me out and it's very very easy to do.  He decides about me spacing based on what he wants to accomplish.  Sometimes, he wants the kind of feedback I can't give while flying so he'll take too long between sensations or make me talk to him or do something super stingy that really attracts my attention.

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RE: A Dominant's efforts during subspace - 1/6/2008 3:37:07 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		It's funny when they come back and can't even remember who they are right off-or where.

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RE: A Dominant's efforts during subspace - 1/6/2008 3:44:57 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Nope, they go where I want them to go.  If I didn't want them to go there, I'd keep them out of subspace (and I do that quite regularly).

I feed on the connection, it's very rarely that the actual act or kink is what's really driving the scene, so I'm feeding from where I'm putting them and our connection together- subspace is just another form of that.

But sometimes I want a particular connection that I don't get when they are in subspace, and so I don't let them go there.



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RE: A Dominant's efforts during subspace - 1/6/2008 4:06:39 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		Tips to the wise.

An ice cube behind the ear tends to cultivate a sense of reality quickly.

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RE: A Dominant's efforts during subspace - 1/6/2008 4:57:48 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist
Tips to the wise.
An ice cube behind the ear tends to cultivate a sense of reality quickly.


 
Heh, or a spray bottle with cold water.  Spritz me and I’m right there with him!!!


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RE: A Dominant's efforts during subspace - 1/6/2008 5:45:13 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		No I don't feel bad when this happens because Master enjoys seeing this. I think it excites him in some sort of way.

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RE: A Dominant's efforts during subspace - 1/6/2008 6:01:06 PM   
slavetaboo


Posts: 408
Joined: 11/30/2007
Status: offline 		I normally remain very focused to a man by how and what he says to me during this time. It's quite a wonderful thing to hang on the words of his voice. It's not something I have trouble remembering.

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RE: A Dominant's efforts during subspace - 1/6/2008 6:06:29 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline 		Hi, Mist...

I wouldn't say that I feel "bad" per se if I can't remember parts of a scene, but I wish I knew what those parts were.  Usually Daddy fills me in and I have to go on his word and perspective of how things went.

After our first public scene, I have no real recollection of getting from the play space we were in to the aftercare area and couch where he put me to recover.  I also do not remember getting dressed, but I know that he helped dress me and get me over there. 

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RE: A Dominant's efforts during subspace - 1/6/2008 6:19:58 PM   
Petronius


Posts: 289
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Well, the nasty reality is that there are few things in this world that are so wonderful in themselves that they never involve a waste of time. Ever. Under any circumstances.

That said, no. I don't think putting somebody in subspace is a waste of time because they're not fully aware of the passage of time.

I have, however, been somewhat bored at the hours they spent in subspace which, if truth be known, is not quite as interesting for me.

But that's one reason why quid pro quo was invented.

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RE: A Dominant's efforts during subspace - 1/6/2008 6:43:52 PM   
kirby104


Posts: 94
Joined: 6/6/2005
Status: offline 		Subspace would be my goal.

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RE: A Dominant's efforts during subspace - 1/6/2008 9:11:07 PM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear mistoferin, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
For me, it isn't a 'waste of time' or 'efforts' when I keep someone in 'sub space and or flying.'  The look of disbelief after looking at the clock is priceless.  Their few minutes were actually several hours.
 
Just some thoughts.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

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RE: A Dominant's efforts during subspace - 1/6/2008 9:26:31 PM   
EvilKitty


Posts: 148
Joined: 7/13/2006
From: Tampa Florida
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

A skilled Top can control a submissive's space keep and keep them there for a prolonged period of time from minutes to multiple hours if they so desire by maintaining or applying different intensities........ Do you as a Dominant feel that your efforts during this time are somewhat of a waste because of the level of unawareness or inability to fully feel?


There's something deeply satisfying in sending a sub flying! But.....I've seen it be a drawback when playing with (#1 boy) toy; to have him slide into subspace as soon as I begin a scene!!! And......sometimes it would be nice to have a soft chair to sit on & perhaps some closed caption TV to pass the time while keeping him there for hours  But that level of Un-awareness is exactly what I wished to achieve for My sub or for a sub I'm just casually playing with. It's MY feeling of power that I'm indulging in!
Lady Cat
the Evil Kitty

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RE: A Dominant's efforts during subspace - 1/6/2008 11:42:43 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		No, because I love the fact that they trust me enough to get into that space.
Their vunerability and nakedness is priceless.


quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin
Do you as a Dominant feel that your efforts during this time are somewhat of a waste because of the level of unawareness or inability to fully feel?


_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

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