i love beeing a sub but sometimes i want to punck my dom in the fucking head lol

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i love beeing a sub but sometimes i want to punck my do... - 1/8/2008 3:05:32 AM

TheMagicsInYou

Posts: 5
Joined: 1/6/2008
Status: offline

i am sumbissive, and i love it...i could never dominate sombody else, i am way to sweet to hurt someone for no reason...
but at times when i am beeing dominated, if my "dom" tells me to do something i dont want to do...i seriously dont want to do it...in a lazy seince...i dont want to go down on my dom, all the time...i get tired of it...
and sometimes if he tells me no and slaps me really hard in the face,
i feel like saying fuck u and punching him in the head....though i have really good self control, and wont do it becouse he is fully dom..i still get pissed...but generally i absolutly love it...i live for it...

i just kind of want to take control and say no sometimes, but like i said my "dom" is fully dominate and thats wat i love about him, i could never have a switch becouse i find it a huge turn off when guys let woman take any sort of control over them...i think i just need to come to a mutual understanding with him, but i dont want to be let go becouse of it...should i say something?...should i bare through it?....or will things change over time, becouse im very new at this, beeing submissive???
...i dont really see myself beeing a slave, slave all the time...im a little bit spoiled and use to having wat i want, i kno that sounds bad but its my life and thats wat i do, watever makes me happy...and i am happy this way and i find great plessure in bondage, beeing submissive and making somebody else happy...but i need to be happy as well....i just want balance, can i do that and still be a sub?

Post #: 1

RE: i love beeing a sub but sometimes i want to punck m... - 1/8/2008 3:12:39 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

If things change, it's going to be because you talked to him. He can't read your mind.

Nobody's perfect - sometimes we submissives just don't fucking feel like doing whatever it is for whatever reason. I'm perfectly free to tell Valyraen when I don't feel like doing something. If it didn't matter to him, or he understands why I don't want to do whatever it is, I'm usually excused from the task. But sometimes he just grins and says "Tough". It's not taking any control if the ultimate decision if you do or don't rests in his hands. Don't let fear of topping from the bottom control your relationship and block communication.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to TheMagicsInYou)

Post #: 2

RE: i love beeing a sub but sometimes i want to punck m... - 1/8/2008 4:17:15 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

What Aqua said. You need to add open and honest communication to your relationship or it won't last. And he needs to accept that you are simply too tired to want to do something instead of claiming you aren't a twue sub.

We're people too. We need down time or we get burned out. If he hasn't been smart enough to build some into the daily schedule, then it's up to you to talk to him about your needs. Because he isn't a mind reader.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 3

RE: i love beeing a sub but sometimes i want to punck m... - 1/8/2008 7:34:53 AM

Leonardo

Posts: 113
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: offline

Yep. Ya'll need to talk. Communication, or lack thereof, is one of the major causes of break downs in relationships.

(in reply to TheMagicsInYou)

Post #: 4

RE: i love beeing a sub but sometimes i want to punck m... - 1/8/2008 7:47:31 AM

darkpassenger434

Posts: 138
Joined: 1/1/2008
Status: offline

Well just because you might need control over certain things in your life, that doesn't necessarily make you a switch. I agree with the above posts that you need to communicate. Prehaps getting slapped in the face is a hard limit for you? I'm pretty sure having to have some time to yourself is not at all abnormal for a sub or even a slave. You ask if you can do that and still be a sub. Prehaps you should ask if you can not do that and still be happy. It seems more important to me. Just my opinion.
-R

_____________________________

"The man who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the man doing it."

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 5

RE: i love beeing a sub but sometimes i want to punck m... - 1/8/2008 7:53:55 AM

TallDarkAndWitty

Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline

I think there is a fine line that we all have to tread. You need someone to be in control, and that control means sometimes you will do things you don't want to do. However, if you could say "no" and avoid doing those things, it wouldn't be the relationship for which you are looking.

In this lifestyle, it is all about compatibility. You must find a dominant that, more or less, makes you do the stuff you want to do, and, more or less, doesn't make you do the stuff you don't want to do. No match is going to be perfect, but it is amazing how close two people can come...

Taggard

_____________________________

A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.

My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to TheMagicsInYou)

Post #: 6

RE: i love beeing a sub but sometimes i want to punck m... - 1/8/2008 8:01:43 AM

kinkypuppy2

Posts: 345
Joined: 11/4/2007
Status: offline

Sounds like you are a normal well adjusted submisssive to me.

_____________________________

See nic "Kinkypupper" also as "slvseeker" As I cannot reply to any posts or log into collarchat under that name I had to create this profile.

(in reply to TheMagicsInYou)

Post #: 7

RE: i love beeing a sub but sometimes i want to punck m... - 1/8/2008 8:12:20 AM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheMagicsInYou

i am sumbissive, and i love it...i could never dominate sombody else, i am way to sweet to hurt someone for no reason...
but at times when i am beeing dominated, if my "dom" tells me to do something i dont want to do...i seriously dont want to do it...in a lazy seince...i dont want to go down on my dom, all the time...i get tired of it...
and sometimes if he tells me no and slaps me really hard in the face,
i feel like saying fuck u and punching him in the head....though i have really good self control, and wont do it becouse he is fully dom..i still get pissed...but generally i absolutly love it...i live for it...

i just kind of want to take control and say no sometimes, but like i said my "dom" is fully dominate and thats wat i love about him, i could never have a switch becouse i find it a huge turn off when guys let woman take any sort of control over them...i think i just need to come to a mutual understanding with him, but i dont want to be let go becouse of it...should i say something?...should i bare through it?....or will things change over time, becouse im very new at this, beeing submissive???
...i dont really see myself beeing a slave, slave all the time...im a little bit spoiled and use to having wat i want, i kno that sounds bad but its my life and thats wat i do, watever makes me happy...and i am happy this way and i find great plessure in bondage, beeing submissive and making somebody else happy...but i need to be happy as well....i just want balance, can i do that and still be a sub?

Yea tell your dom that you don't want to do it cuz yer lazy and then punch him in the head. Wait a nano second and wait for the fireworks. BE SURE to include LAZY. Please post what happens next...

BadOne

(in reply to TheMagicsInYou)

Post #: 8

RE: i love beeing a sub but sometimes i want to punck m... - 1/8/2008 8:49:08 AM

Stephann

Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline

Sounds like you're learning that you're not really meant to be (at the moment) a full slave. You've heard this I'm sure, but you're young and the things you want today won't be the same as the things you want in three, five, ten years (being about ten years older than you, I know what I wanted at 19 and at 29 were VERY different.) This isn't a dig on your age, but rather a reminder that you're still growing and learning. You might grow to love the way he's treating you, and you might grow to despise him. Whatever way it goes, as others have said, you really need to talk to him and tell him how you feel. A good portion of what you're describing sounds like, to me, part of learning patience and humility. For a girl who grew up being spoiled and given what she wants quickly, a slap across the face and a harsh demand to OBEY! can be exhilarating, terrifying, and demeaning. Learning humility can be very painful. If you manage to, I think you'll find his expectations much easier to embrace.

And, in the end, if you're not happy with the type of service expected of you, you always know where the door is.

Good luck,

Stephan

_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to SailingBum)

Post #: 9

RE: i love beeing a sub but sometimes i want to punck m... - 1/8/2008 9:05:59 AM

Kalista07

Posts: 4240
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

Yea tell your dom that you don't want to do it cuz yer lazy and then punch him in the head. Wait a nano second and wait for the fireworks. BE SURE to include LAZY. Please post what happens next...

BadOne

*yawn* Once again an utterly helpful and insightful post from the jackass gallery.

_____________________________

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb

(in reply to SailingBum)

Post #: 10

RE: i love beeing a sub but sometimes i want to punck m... - 1/8/2008 9:09:32 AM

MistressNoName

Posts: 664
Joined: 10/26/2006
Status: offline

Sounds like it's re-negotiation time and you may just need a little adversarial play every now and then. It works for some dynamics, but both need to agree upon the boundaries, first.

Best,

MNN

_____________________________

aka Ms Petal - Check Me out on the Web.

(in reply to TheMagicsInYou)

Post #: 11

RE: i love beeing a sub but sometimes i want to punck m... - 1/8/2008 9:09:35 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

I don't want to go with the kinda girls that wanna punk their dom.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to Kalista07)

Post #: 12

RE: i love beeing a sub but sometimes i want to punck m... - 1/8/2008 9:14:31 AM

KnOcala

Posts: 260
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline

talk or walk

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 13

RE: i love beeing a sub but sometimes i want to punck m... - 1/8/2008 9:36:52 AM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

Yea tell your dom that you don't want to do it cuz yer lazy and then punch him in the head. Wait a nano second and wait for the fireworks. BE SURE to include LAZY. Please post what happens next...

BadOne

*yawn* Once again an utterly helpful and insightful post from the jackass gallery.

lol gotta love it I'm a jack ass. Because my kink doesn't match yours.
FYI Kalista resistance play happens to be one of my kinks...Although none of my girls over the years ever hit me her struggling wrestling makes the reward all the sweeter. She looks so hot for a week due to all her bruises. I do force her to get the pain toys out along with the blind fold so she won't know whats going to happen next...

BadOne

It's a sick word and I'm a happy man

(in reply to Kalista07)

Post #: 14

RE: i love beeing a sub but sometimes i want to punck m... - 1/8/2008 11:40:17 AM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

FR~~~~~~~

Face slapping is a hard limit for me. Seriously. I'm not responsible for what happens after I get slapped. It's like you slapped an alternate personality into me, well one of two. One would seriously kick your ass from here until next week and not remember a thing about it. The other one would sink into a funk so low that the relationship may never recover. And no predicting which one it would be.

So is it that you aren't willing to do what he wants, or is it that he is crossing a hard limit?

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to SailingBum)

Post #: 15

RE: i love beeing a sub but sometimes i want to punck m... - 1/8/2008 12:00:26 PM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

FR~~~~~~~

Face slapping is a hard limit for me. Seriously. I'm not responsible for what happens after I get slapped. It's like you slapped an alternate personality into me, well one of two. One would seriously kick your ass from here until next week and not remember a thing about it. The other one would sink into a funk so low that the relationship may never recover. And no predicting which one it would be.

So is it that you aren't willing to do what he wants, or is it that he is crossing a hard limit?

Cali

Yep i agree a hard limit is just that.

(in reply to CalifChick)

Post #: 16

RE: i love beeing a sub but sometimes i want to punck m... - 1/8/2008 12:06:23 PM

ModeratorEleven

Posts: 2007
Joined: 8/14/2005
Status: offline

Folks, enough with the namecalling please.

XI

_____________________________

This mod goes to eleven.

(in reply to Kalista07)

Post #: 17

RE: i love beeing a sub but sometimes i want to punck m... - 1/8/2008 12:06:25 PM

KyttynTheMynx

Posts: 4880
Joined: 5/10/2006
From: Moosecrotch, Va
Status: offline

It honestly sounds like you need some down time once in a while where theres no set roles. Talk to him. Ask him if once or twice a week can you two just let go of everything.

_____________________________

Hibbie's Hottie

The next time you think I give a fuck, remember the 3 F's... Unless you are Feeding me, Financing me, or Fucking me, I don't give a fuck!!

"Kyttyn: The Other White Meat!" - DRH

10 Miles of Hot Chocolate Lovin'.

(in reply to Kalista07)

Post #: 18

RE: i love beeing a sub but sometimes i want to punck m... - 1/8/2008 12:17:06 PM

gorgeous1

Posts: 367
Joined: 11/14/2007
Status: offline

Unless I let Capnspankins know ahead of time that I am unable to perform oral (like I feel like I have a sore throat or a stuffy nose) then I'm expected to do it- it's all part of the submission, and not doing it because "I don't feel like it" isn't a valid excuse. I've gotten so good at it that he claims if he had to only have either vaginal or oral sex for the rest of his life, he'd choose my mouth, no contest- and this is from a girl who wouldn't even "kiss it" when we first met!

Laziness just doesn't work in D/s relationships. I know my Sir puts a great deal of time and effort into being a good and thorough Master and taking me for a wild ride...the very least I can do to show him my gratitude is put in 100% effort.

Sometimes, when I am performing my "sword swallowing" trick, I just cannot continue. Sometimes, my nipples are really sensitive and I can't bear clamps. Sometimes, my butt is really tender and I can't take a heavy caning. Sometimes I'm feeling claustrophobic and don't want to be tied tight. Master is always 100% present and watching my reactions very carefully so that he can modify what we're doing without my having to say anything, or he can ask me how I'm feeling to get accurate feedback. And of course, if that fails, my staring at him with huge pleading puppy dog eyes melts his sadistic little heart!

In all seriousness though, don't be lazy...that's lame. Have a thumbs up attitude (meaning have a desire to please, always) and you'll keep your man. Talk to him, ask him what other things you can do to please him so you have a backup plan if you can't do oral. Also, don't forget that you can always take a break with your mouth if you know how to use your hand the way he likes it- that can help you get him to the point where you can finish him off.

Let's face it- guys like having their dicks sucked and sucked well. Learn how to do it better than any other woman he's ever had, and learn how to crave it. TELL him how bad you need it. Hell- I have gone from hating it to loving it so much that sometimes I HAVE to have him in my mouth to cum! It's all mind over matter, my dear.

_____________________________

Wife/property of CapnSpankins...and loving every minute of it! Visit my juicy blog http://www.kinkycrafts.info/gorgeous-blog/gblog.php for updates on my slave training!

(in reply to CalifChick)

Post #: 19

RE: i love beeing a sub but sometimes i want to punck m... - 1/8/2008 12:44:22 PM

charmdpetKeira

Posts: 916
Joined: 6/2/2007
Status: offline

quote:

but at times when i am beeing dominated, if my "dom" tells me to do something i dont want to do...i seriously dont want to do it...in a lazy seince...i dont want to go down on my dom, all the time...i get tired of it...
and sometimes if he tells me no and slaps me really hard in the face,
i feel like saying fuck u and punching him in the head....though i have really good self control, and wont do it becouse he is fully dom..i still get pissed...but generally i absolutly love it...i live for it...

My suggestion starts with figuring out why you feel the way you do, in the areas highlighted.

Something about how you are perceiving him or the situation, is making you feel these things, but because of your saying “but like i said my "dom" is fully dominate and thats wat i love about him”, if I were in your situation, I would start searching my memory as far back as I remember, until I ran across something that makes me feel similar. Sort those feelings out, in order to understand how they originated.

Some things to remember, if you decide to take my advice; what we initially think is the problem, often times isn’t. You have to think of the events in the same terms that you would have perceived them as, at the age you were when they happened, but rationalize them with the knowledge you have now.

If you wish to maintain the relationship, talking is inevitable. The more you know about the feelings you are having, the better odds you're giving him, in helping you find the answer to your problem. Then it is up to you to fix it.

quote:

i just want balance, can i do that and still be a sub?

Bottom line is, only you can answer this question.

Best wishes,

k

< Message edited by charmdpetKeira -- 1/8/2008 1:04:52 PM >

_____________________________

Life is tough, that does not mean it isn't fair.

There is no wrong choice, only consequence.

(in reply to TheMagicsInYou)

Post #: 20

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