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Presumptuous?? - 1/8/2008 5:17:56 AM   
JBristol


Posts: 35
Joined: 1/27/2007
From: Bristol
Status: offline 		Hi Everyone, ive been a member here for a while but only recently started to become more active, and started to message a few Dommes.  i read the profiles/journal and forum posts  from the people i would like to know better,  then send a polite, respectful message to introduce myself, and always include a photo, i dont even get upset when i  get no acknowledgement whatsoever back, thats anyones perogative, and i fully understand that many of the Dommes here will be inundated with replies.
Today i did get a reply which i would like to share with you all...................

  " Cut your hair off to normal length first, slave" (my italics)

Thats it!! Sum total!! Now where do i start?
Apart from the fact that i always struggle when someone trys to tell me what is normal. In a cpl of messages ive sent (though not to this person) i have stated that if we did click, and they instructed me to do so i would have no problem whatsoever in cutting my hair, indeed sometime in the future if i ever do enter into a Dom/sub relationship (and the chances are looking slim judging from the responses (or lack of ) from this site) im expecting the command.
Now i know that im a sub and Do enjoy being controlled/told what to do, but am i being slightly touchy to think that, as an opening gambit, this is a little presumptious?
i would love to know what other more experienced people think. Thank you for listening.
j
xx

< Message edited by JBristol -- 1/8/2008 5:21:26 AM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Presumptious?? - 1/8/2008 5:21:36 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		ever walked up to anyone and said you wanna suck my dick and get your face slapped?  oh well.  try again.

I don't think what you might imagine about people from their picture is always true.

Here seemingly, you have found someone who has a dislike of long hair, and isn't really good with the first impression thingie,  and I wouldn't read another goddamn thing in this world into that exchange.

Have a happy day, and let's be careful out there.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to JBristol)
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RE: Presumptuous?? - 1/8/2008 5:22:34 AM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		Yes it is.  Ignore people that bark out commands and assume a role when they don't know you.  Fantasy is never translated into a stable relationship.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to JBristol)
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RE: Presumptuous?? - 1/8/2008 5:28:01 AM   
NakedGirlScout


Posts: 370
Joined: 1/10/2006
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		If they can order you to cut your hair then you can order them to get off their high-horse. Or even better, block them from replying at all.

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Presumptuous?? - 1/8/2008 6:21:01 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		You have beautiful hair why would you want to cut it? If they want a sub with short hair they are out there all they have to do is look for them. Besides who is this person to tell you what to do when they don't even own you? To me that would be a red flag and I'd just forget about them and move on.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to JBristol)
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RE: Presumptuous?? - 1/8/2008 7:01:32 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		So, you've managed to cull at least one from the herd of possibilities. What is there to complain about?

Seriously, just hit delete and move on.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to JBristol)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Presumptuous?? - 1/8/2008 7:07:04 AM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline 		You could have some fun with it. You could take the very same profile photo and photoshop in a way to make it obvious that it has been photoshopped. Then you could send that photo to her and say, "What now, my Grand Magnificent Mistress?" ;-)

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Presumptuous?? - 1/8/2008 7:07:07 AM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline 		Agrees with Lashra
Lucy

_____________________________

(•_•)
<) )╯SUCH
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> A NASTY
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
/ \

Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

(in reply to Lashra)
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RE: Presumptuous?? - 1/8/2008 7:10:15 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Also agreeing with Lashra.   And I don't even like long hair on men. 

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to Lucylastic)
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RE: Presumptuous?? - 1/8/2008 7:15:40 AM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		Oh goodness ... what is wrong with that moron that she wants you to cut off that lovely hair.  It looks wonderful and long hair always makes a good handle/leash ... Forget her and move to the US

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Miss Karen and Miss Holly

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

Friends are God's apology for relatives

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
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RE: Presumptuous?? - 1/8/2008 7:18:31 AM   
ShaktiSama


Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline 		Ditto Lashra.  Men who can grow a mane of long beautiful hair are such a pleasure to see that I would hate to see one vandalized pointlessly.  I think you're better off finding a mistress who appreciates your good points rather than one who tries to ruin them.  Telling you to cut your hair would be the equivalent of telling a bodybuilder to gain 60 pounds of flab to cover his "ugly" muscles, in my opinion.

It takes year of care to grow out your hair healthy and long, just as it takes years of work and care to develope a sculptured physique--if I don't like that sort of thing, why spoil it for others?

_____________________________

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
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RE: Presumptuous?? - 1/8/2008 7:20:23 AM   
pixelslave


Posts: 1444
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JBristol
In a cpl of messages ive sent (though not to this person) i have stated that if we did click, and they instructed me to do so i would have no problem whatsoever in cutting my hair


Perhaps the part of your OP that I've quoted above may lay at the root of the problem you're having.  IMO, this is not the kind of thing to tell someone on initial contact.  It's the kind of thing to tell someone you've gotten to know very well and are considering entering into a power exchange with to give them some idea to what extent you'd be willing to turn over  control to them.
 
On initial contact, I believe it should be about telling something of yourself, demonstrating your personality, and inquiring about the person's interests that you may have in common or may wish to know more about.  A first post is not about telling them all the parts of your life you'd like to relinquish to them or your fantasies of what a D/s relationship with them would be like!  Remember, you're a person with a personality that makes you unique and interesting.  That's the person you want them to be attracted to, not some blank slate for them to turn into a faceless sub with no personality where you'll lose all that makes you what you are today.  Sure, as time passes you're going to grow and change, but at the core there's still going to be a YOU.  You're going to want to preserve that and be with a dominant who appreciates what that is!
 
 - pixel


_____________________________

Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!

(in reply to JBristol)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Presumptuous?? - 1/8/2008 7:33:03 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		Please consider such an email a sign that that person is not a potential partner for you then ignore them.

I can totally understand waiting a slave to have short hair -- I prefer that too myself on both men and women in fact -- but I'd not bring that up until there were other things happening that suggested there was compatibility on other levels. If there were enough mutual interests, hell, I've trained and owned long haired folks and even men with facial hair too.



_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to JBristol)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Presumptuous?? - 1/8/2008 12:00:50 PM   
darchChylde


Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline 		don't let it get to you, it was one person only

believe me, in my experience; there are many more women here on collarme who like long hair on a guy than those who don't

keep your hair as long as you want until you find someone who you are willing to give that much power over you


_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Presumptuous?? - 1/8/2008 12:14:11 PM   
littlesarbonn


Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline 		You should cut your hair immediately as a response. That's what I would do, which is why I can now fill in my profile with the following information:

Male submissive, although switchable and sometimes dominant, age 42, although sometimes 21 and ranging to 58, over six feet tall, yet shorter than five feet, very long, short hair, wears all sorts of different styles, ranging from early 20s jazz to 22nd century retro sci fi, able to assume all ranges of ethnicity, race and sometimes even gender.


_____________________________

<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me


http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

(in reply to JBristol)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Presumptuous?? - 1/8/2008 12:19:20 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		My hair doesn't It just grows quickly and with no effort from me. Sure I have to comb it and wash it but that's about the extent of "hard work" it takes. It's just naturally thick long and wavey ish. when I cut it short it curls all by itself, but long it pulls all the curl out to form kind of a wavey look.


quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama


It takes year of care to grow out your hair healthy and long,

(in reply to ShaktiSama)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Presumptuous?? - 1/8/2008 12:19:23 PM   
darchChylde


Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

You should cut your hair immediately as a response. That's what I would do, which is why I can now fill in my profile with the following information:

Male submissive, although switchable and sometimes dominant, age 42, although sometimes 21 and ranging to 58, over six feet tall, yet shorter than five feet, very long, short hair, wears all sorts of different styles, ranging from early 20s jazz to 22nd century retro sci fi, able to assume all ranges of ethnicity, race and sometimes even gender.



*he laughs aloud then sighs merrily* oh, littlesarbonn; great post... life must be so much easier as a stick figure *winks*


_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to littlesarbonn)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Presumptuous?? - 1/8/2008 12:52:10 PM   
GoddessDustyGold


Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: darchChylde

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

You should cut your hair immediately as a response. That's what I would do, which is why I can now fill in my profile with the following information:

Male submissive, although switchable and sometimes dominant, age 42, although sometimes 21 and ranging to 58, over six feet tall, yet shorter than five feet, very long, short hair, wears all sorts of different styles, ranging from early 20s jazz to 22nd century retro sci fi, able to assume all ranges of ethnicity, race and sometimes even gender.



*he laughs aloud then sighs merrily* oh, littlesarbonn; great post... life must be so much easier as a stick figure *winks*



I love that you would take the time to write that wonderful description, littlesarbonn, but, ya know, darlin', I can already tell all that from your picture!  *laffing*  I am one who absolutely loves your av!
 
To the OP:  This is no different from any reply that imemdiately begins addressing a boy as slave and making any other silly demands.  And this sort of garbage happens more often than I would like to think.  *Sigh* 
Move on...things should get better.  No guarantees, but if you hang in there, and participate on these boards, especially, it should get better. 
Although I might have you cut your hair, since I prefer a crisp look, I have to say you do have Fabio written all over you!  Quite lovely and I am very jealous! 

< Message edited by GoddessDustyGold -- 1/8/2008 12:53:42 PM >

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom


(in reply to darchChylde)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Presumptuous?? - 1/8/2008 3:20:50 PM   
ShaktiSama


Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline 		*agrees also that JBristol has a sex-ay profile, after shamelessly perving it!* 

_____________________________

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Presumptuous?? - 1/8/2008 3:37:19 PM   
Najakcharmer


Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline 		Sure.  While you're at it, you're going to have to brand my initials in your forehead immediately, since I just posted in your thread.  Because Twue Subs obey every domme who talks to them.  Right? 

Seriously though, you are majorly hot just as you are, especially with that amazing head of hair, and it would be a tragedy to cut it.  If you didn't live on the other side of a rather big puddle I'd consider going after you with a rope and a net.    Pretty, long-haired submissive men who also have a brain are a rare treasure. 

(in reply to JBristol)
Profile   Post #: 20
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