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RE: Whats wrong ? - 1/8/2008 5:36:24 PM   
lusciouslips19


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Joined: 9/8/2007
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quote:

Unless it was Jeffff or Ron or Les or Mutt or Merc or Firm or Leather or CD or Lam or Stephann or Gris ... well hells bells, any of the forum Studs.. uhhh... Hotties... uhh... Men, yeah, any of the forum MEN.  Then we might just giggle instead. Cali



God . What a dirty whore!



(just cast off a few left overs to me, ok)


(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Whats wrong ? - 1/8/2008 9:52:47 PM   
lablancsecret


Posts: 73
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline
Coming from the sub side of this, I have to agree with Stephann!

When a Dom messages me, I look for a few things:
a) initial mutual connection; Does he seem to share my interests? Does he write in a manner which makes me interested in him?
b) the hook; He says he likes xyz, and I like xyz....
c) politeness; I'm a submissive, but I appriciate being treated curteously.
and lastly
d) the appearance of honesty; If his profile picture makes him look like he is about 62, and he says he's 20... well maybe I don't trust him too much.

Anything else on top of that ie,"I love long walks, reading, and enjoy horse back riding", is just icing on the cake and helps me to see if I share a common set of interests with the Dom in question.

Honestly, I've responded to messages I wouldn't normally respond to due to these factors.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann

Hi Signus,

Why are you approching this from such a heavily D/s influenced view? 

I think it's too often that people are 'in search of a sub' or 'I'm looking for my Master.'  As Taggard said, it's nearly futile (though I don't think for the reason and approach he suggested.)

Writing a potential slave/submissive as if they were a person you met on, say, Match.com might take a lot more effort and time, but it'll yield the kind of communication that allows intimacy to grow.  If you're writing a slave from a "I am UbarLordMasterofAll and I have written to inform you that you should drop to your belly and crawl to Me, worm." you're not likely to get any sort of meaningful, long term relationship out of it.  Instead, taking the "I'm a XX year old dominant, and I really liked what you said in your profile about hiking; I'm an avid hiker, and love being outdoors.  I'm a musician and love playing guitar, and I play regular gigs in my area.  I also love reading; mostly historical fiction, with the occasional Grisham novel tossed in."  Explaining who you are, and what about yourself you think a prospective submissive/slave would find interesting will land you a much higher quality of communication.

While you're at it, stop writing submissives/slaves who only have a couple of sentences of "I'm a real no-limits slave looking for a harsh cruel Master for immediate relocation."  Use some logic here; what sort of woman would actually write this?  A woman with no job, family, future, or money?  Someone who's greatest desire is to be kept in a box under your bed?  Trust me, these profiles are about as genuine as a Rolex sold on a street corner.  Don't even waste your time.

Good luck,

Stephan



< Message edited by lablancsecret -- 1/8/2008 9:53:27 PM >


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Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Whats wrong ? - 1/8/2008 10:04:15 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
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What's wrong? That is the million dollar question. If we knew that....

What is wrong is expectations of people. Of people on an internet kink site. Of people behind their monitors. Of people who make generalizations of the "lifestyle" (their words, I don't have a lifestyle, I have a life).

What is wrong is taking the time to write a profile that accentuates the positive and not the negative, that tells the world what you are like, what you are seeking and then, as luscious said, to get mass market emails that clearly display lack of reading comprehension. But I said, have no expectations.

What is wrong is to think all slaves/subs/women/Doms/Dommes/men are alike and should be addressed the same.

What is wrong is the lack of imagination that so many emails and first notes display. Location? How long a sub? Available? Hi. These all lack imagination. Calling someone Girl after being told that is not acceptable. No brains.

I like the idea of the coffee shop, stumbling in for my vanilla creme frappachino and bumping into a handsome stranger who happens to be a literate Dom. But how often does THAT happen?

At least in the scenario you get to look into his eyes, you can tell more in that instant than in 20 emails on collarme.

(in reply to lablancsecret)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Whats wrong ? - 1/8/2008 11:17:07 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
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Beautifully said, Red.

Cali


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(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Whats wrong ? - 1/9/2008 5:10:01 AM   
darkpassenger434


Posts: 138
Joined: 1/1/2008
Status: offline
I have noticed a lot of erratic behavior from subs/slaves on CM, but not in the manner you describe. My personal opinion is that it is always best to begin with friendship. You get to know people and you build a base for an actual "lifestyle". There are a few people that I am talking to on here, and actual D/s and M/s is not even discussed yet with most of them yet. Most of the women I have spoken with get approximately one million messages a day from asshats who demand servitude. I prefer to keep that in mind and proceed extremely gently when getting to know someone. If my charisma clicks with a persons personality I really don't mind if it proceeds slowly. Such dominance would be much longer lasting I think. The most powerful forces in the world operate slowly, why should I desire my own will to dominate to be any different. At least that is my IDEAL anyway. And if it doesn't click, having a circle of attractive friends who think you're an awesome person and Dom even if you aren't the one for them is not exactly detremental to the continued search for the one that IS for you.
-R

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(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Whats wrong ? - 1/9/2008 5:38:21 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline
i guess someone forgot to mention that we (submissives/slaves) hold the control until we're ready to hand it over to you.  and don't get so offended if the potential slave says she's not interested.

good luck


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(in reply to signusnova)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Whats wrong ? - 1/9/2008 6:16:55 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: signusnova

I know there is certain etiquette in Master slave relationships. 
Thanks
Signus



yes there is.. and one of the things is that slaves are slaves with a Master, not with some guy on a website.... She is a woman and a free agent until she GIVES her power...

And let's see... I looked at your profile.. Well, heck I don't know anything about you because... let's see - your profile shows you  live for and love movies, fine dining, and travel, and SEX SEX SEX.  Some of the ladies here prefer to not be with a SEX, SEX, SEX man.... What smart gal wants to put her life into the hands of a man who doesn't even have a hobby?  And frankly, if you can't be bothered with filling out your profile, I can't be bothered with telling you anything about me.

I'm just saying.
peace.

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to signusnova)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Whats wrong ? - 1/9/2008 6:29:19 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I like the idea of the coffee shop, stumbling in for my vanilla creme frappachino and bumping into a handsome stranger who happens to be a literate Dom. But how often does THAT happen?



Can someone please tell me where this coffee shop  is... I have a vacation coming up and think I will need to book a flight.  Thanks.

peace.

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Whats wrong ? - 1/9/2008 7:29:51 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1
I like the idea of the coffee shop, stumbling in for my vanilla creme frappachino and bumping into a handsome stranger who happens to be a literate Dom. But how often does THAT happen?

At least in the scenario you get to look into his eyes, you can tell more in that instant than in 20 emails on collarme.


whats wrong with that?.......a REAL Dom orders coffee...black..........by the time you get yours, he is long gone.

Juan Valdez

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Whats wrong ? - 1/9/2008 7:49:36 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1
I like the idea of the coffee shop, stumbling in for my vanilla creme frappachino and bumping into a handsome stranger who happens to be a literate Dom. But how often does THAT happen?

At least in the scenario you get to look into his eyes, you can tell more in that instant than in 20 emails on collarme.


whats wrong with that?.......a REAL Dom orders coffee...black..........by the time you get yours, he is long gone.

Juan Valdez


Yes, but a REAL Dom would hang out and wait for me to get my straw for my vanilla creme frappachino and then try to lick the milk mustache off of me. Oh, did I just say that? 

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Whats wrong ? - 1/9/2008 7:52:47 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1






Yes, but a REAL Dom would hang out and wait for me to get my straw for my vanilla creme frappachino and then try to lick the milk mustache off of me. Oh, did I just say that? 


Ok..........that leads to some interesting visuals on exactly where the straw goes........and how the mustache gets there?

Jeff

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Whats wrong ? - 1/9/2008 7:54:07 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1






Yes, but a REAL Dom would hang out and wait for me to get my straw for my vanilla creme frappachino and then try to lick the milk mustache off of me. Oh, did I just say that? 


Ok..........that leads to some interesting visuals on exactly where the straw goes........and how the mustache gets there?

Jeff


Hmmmmm.....can you send me a diagram of what your thoughts are on this?

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Whats wrong ? - 1/9/2008 9:17:22 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: batshalom

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Because I'm a person and not just a cocksucking machine.




My whole image of you is just blown. Now if only we were in a coffee shop ...


Being a couple of good Jewish girls, I suspect our reactions would be first to wash the floor! Speaking of which, mine needs doing.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to batshalom)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Whats wrong ? - 1/9/2008 9:18:47 AM   
batshalom


Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: batshalom

Then stand back and lemme show ya how an untwue sub does it.


So...

Do I need to buy a ticket to watch?



Only if you're not participating in some way.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Whats wrong ? - 1/9/2008 10:47:24 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: batshalom

Only if you're not participating in some way.


...

What positions are available?

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It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to batshalom)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Whats wrong ? - 1/9/2008 11:42:47 AM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: batshalom

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Because I'm a person and not just a cocksucking machine.




My whole image of you is just blown. Now if only we were in a coffee shop ...


Being a couple of good Jewish girls, I suspect our reactions would be first to wash the floor! Speaking of which, mine needs doing.


What self-respecting jewish girl does THAT? Have some dignity. Call the cleaning lady!

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Whats wrong ? - 1/9/2008 11:47:42 AM   
sweetwenchie


Posts: 1993
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

i guess someone forgot to mention that we (submissives/slaves) hold the control until we're ready to hand it over to you.  and don't get so offended if the potential slave says she's not interested.

good luck



~smile~  very well stated!  What else could i add other than some smart ass remark that would do nothing to add to this...

_____________________________

"To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object." - De Beauvoir

"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist." - Nietzsche

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Whats wrong ? - 1/9/2008 11:53:14 AM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
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To the male e-mailer's:


"PLEASE, PLEASE, stop e-mailing me saying"you're a dirty little slut arent you?" You dont know me and that is so disrepectful from a stranger. You just get blocked.

< Message edited by lusciouslips19 -- 1/9/2008 11:54:14 AM >

(in reply to sweetwenchie)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Whats wrong ? - 1/9/2008 11:58:41 AM   
sweetwenchie


Posts: 1993
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

To the male e-mailer's:


"PLEASE, PLEASE, stop e-mailing me saying"you're a dirty little slut arent you?" You dont know me and that is so disrepectful from a stranger. You just get blocked.


omg  LOL   At first i thought you were saying that to me!   Had to read it again before i caught the "all male e-mailers" part        

_____________________________

"To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object." - De Beauvoir

"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist." - Nietzsche

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Whats wrong ? - 1/9/2008 12:06:19 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

omg  LOL   At first i thought you were saying that to me!   Had to read it again before i caught the "all male e-mailers" part        


Oh sweetwenchie, you hot thing , you. You can call me whatever you want!

(in reply to sweetwenchie)
Profile   Post #: 60
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