RE: Submission. East Vs West (Full Version)

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Shadowkeeper -> RE: Submission. East Vs West (1/9/2008 5:59:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Which "Western and Eastern cultuers" are you talking about?  They're not all the same.  Is there a checkpoint or something that you cross somewhere: "Caution: Entering the East Now"?  What you wrote here is typical of lazy dyadic thinking: take two reductionist categories, "show" why they go to opposite extremes, and try to blaze an innovative path between Scylla and Charybdis.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shadowkeeper

A conversation with a fellow member on here has brought back some of my thoughts on Submission in the Western Vs Eastern cultuers.  The West is too open and free which ends up making the women feel a great gap with in them, a void that needs to be filled. One extreme leads to another extreme in different ways on both sides of the coin.



If you read what I wrote above, I mentioned that I grew up in the MIDDLE EAST. Look it up on the map. As far as what is represents the West in my post, I do apologize, I was not clear about which region I meant. To clarify, I was speaking of North America. Ie, The Usa and Canada.




Lashra -> RE: Submission. East Vs West (1/9/2008 6:00:02 PM)

I can lead and enjoy doing so,  I like making decisions and am good at it. I have no need, want or desire to be submissive it is not my nature. My nature is dominant and I have no "need" to feel fragility as a woman. Humans are fragile enough no matter what gender they are. Your post generalizes too much and when people do that they are usually wrong.

I think people need to stop worrying about "roles" and how everyone needs to fit into them. I am quite happy and secure in my Dominant role. Everyone should decide on a individual basis what the best path is for them instead of someone saying because you have these sex organs you HAVE to be this. Humans are not wired that way they never have been they never will be and people need to let people be who they truly are.

~Lashra




AquaticSub -> RE: Submission. East Vs West (1/9/2008 6:00:57 PM)

Eh... I still don't agree with you that even most women in general are. Otherwise I think we wouldn't have so many "How can I find a female slave" threads.

And I think you are completely ignoring the fact that a lot of men want women they can be vulnerable with too.

Needing guidence to blossom as a general rule? Please. Some d/s relationships function around that and others don't. Mine doesn't. If I needed his guidence to blossom and reach my full potential, he wouldn't want me. It's just the way he is. Both are completely valid.

I really think you need to talk all the "generally speakings" and put in "this is my view" and "the sort of woman I want is".




BruisedHick -> RE: Submission. East Vs West (1/9/2008 6:09:56 PM)

What LaM said.

People without personality tend to act submissive.  Maybe you can only get with girls that have no personality?

Yours,


benji

PS: That does not mean submissives have no personalities, just that those without personality are often submissive.  Don't hate me.




Lordandmaster -> RE: Submission. East Vs West (1/9/2008 6:17:09 PM)

OK, what is "the Midde East"?  Israel?  Iran?  Urban Iran?  Rural Iran?  Yemen?  Armenia?  Turkey?  Don't pretend that "the Middle East" is any less reductionist than "Eastern culture."

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shadowkeeper

If you read what I wrote above, I mentioned that I grew up in the MIDDLE EAST. Look it up on the map.




Shadowkeeper -> RE: Submission. East Vs West (1/9/2008 6:17:12 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: hisannabelle

greetings shadowkeeper,

qualifying it and repeating it doesn't make it any truer, in my experience.

women need no more guidance than men - and not all masters believe in "training." i was a whole person before i met my master, i'm still a whole person, i'm capable of taking care of myself and fulfilling my own life - i don't need him to do that for me. he wouldn't have it any other way.

happening to have been born with ovaries does not make one anymore likely to be submissive than happening to have been born with testes. growing up in the "east" does not make one anymore likely to be submissive than growing up in the "west." et cetera, et cetera. repeating that and trying to justify it as common knowledge and/or true because you moved around a bit and met a few different women doesn't actually make it true.

respectfully,
annabelle.



First I want to thank everyone who actually had something intelligent to reply with. In other words people who actually spoke their opinion about the topic not the poster.
 
It baffles me however, how some people take some of my words at face value. Needing to be “trained” does not make you less of a whole person. Let me ask you this, before your current Master, were you sure of ALL your limitations? I am not speaking of sexual terms, but over all with in the relationship. Were you able to discern the full meaning of what it is for you to submit to him?
 
Did it not take time for you to “grow” into the submissive you are now?  And of course you are still growing are you not? In some ways on your own and in others throw him. You had all the ingredients, but he polished them and made them shine brighter, did he not?
 
And coming from someone who has never lived in the Middle East, or has any extensive ties to people from that region, can you really make such a statement “growing up in the "east" does not make one anymore likely to be submissive than growing up in the "west."
 
You obviously have no idea what it is like for a woman to grow up in the Middle East and how this influences her way of thinking and living. As well as what she takes as the “normal” or lack there of it, in a relationship.
 
I never said men do not need guidance. The difference is, in my opinion, is that women need a more DIRECT form of guidance. While men need the INDIRECT form from their submissives or slaves. But that is a whole other topic on its own.
 
My opinions are MY TRUTHS, just that. It is my mistake in not properly wording some of my sentences. But then again I am typing this on the go. I am not rereading it all and thinking what would sound politically correct or incorrect.
 
 I am here to debate my opinions. I am not here to enforce them. Those opinions are not based on just traveling, but on living and fully interacting with people in two sides of the world.




Rover -> RE: Submission. East Vs West (1/9/2008 6:20:10 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shadowkeeper\
It baffles me however, how some people take some of my words at face value.


I am equally baffled as to why anyone would take anything you said at face value.
 
John




Shadowkeeper -> RE: Submission. East Vs West (1/9/2008 6:21:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

OK, what is "the Midde East"?  Israel?  Iran?  Urban Iran?  Rural Iran?  Yemen?  Armenia?  Turkey?  Don't pretend that "the Middle East" is any less reductionist than "Eastern culture."

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shadowkeeper

If you read what I wrote above, I mentioned that I grew up in the MIDDLE EAST. Look it up on the map.



Middle East, EGYPT, JORDAN, SYRIA, LEBANON, SAUDI ARABIA, YEMEN and so on and so forth. Some of these countries are more moderate than others though when it comes to Male supreme dominance over women.




junecleaver -> RE: Submission. East Vs West (1/9/2008 6:23:58 PM)

Okay.  I think I sort of get what you mean.  Since I am not super intelligent I cannot gauge just how wrong you are as other posters have been nice enough to do.  However, one of the easiest ways to be proven wrong is to speak in absolutes.

If what you are saying is that....women who are oppressed and forced to submit are less likely to want to submit to a partner and women who are freely given the right to choose are more likely to want to submit to a partner...then I know a lot of people like that.  But I can think of at least three women, formerly bullied and abused, empowered by their choice to submit.

I'm taking a lot of courses on Spanish culture and civilization.  I've oftened wondered how machismo and their more common views of women fit into the kinkier parts of their sexuality.  Like if more hispanic women are bottoms, because that's what is culturally acceptable?  Or if it is still just a matter of 'wiring' for everyone, no matter their backgrounds?

I kind of wish this post was about gangs too, because I watch Gangland on the history channel a lot. [:D]




Lordandmaster -> RE: Submission. East Vs West (1/9/2008 6:25:53 PM)

Technically speaking, that's the Near East, not the Middle East.  (If Lebanon is in the Middle East, where exactly is the Near East?  Out in the Mediterranean Sea?)  The Middle East is supposed to refer to Iran, Afghanistan, and so on.

Anyway, putting Jordan and Saudi Arabia in the same category as far as gender relations go is pretty absurd.  I think you're kind of missing the point that you're speaking in unacceptable generalities, and since I don't have more to say than that, I'm done with this thread.




Shadowkeeper -> RE: Submission. East Vs West (1/9/2008 6:31:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Technically speaking, that's the Near East, not the Middle East.  (If Lebanon is in the Middle East, where exactly is the Near East?  Out in the Mediterranean Sea?)  The Middle East is supposed to refer to Iran, Afghanistan, and so on.

Anyway, putting Jordan and Saudi Arabia in the same category as far as gender relations go is pretty absurd.  I think you're kind of missing the point that you're speaking in unacceptable generalities, and since I don't have more to say than that, I'm done with this thread.


The Middle East is not just a geographic region. That is not what I am talking about. It is the basic and common cultural base that encompasses the Arabic nations. The basic rules or views on women in those countries or in that region are the same. Women are the property of men. However, how this view is implemented differs from one country to the other.
 
 




AquaticSub -> RE: Submission. East Vs West (1/9/2008 6:35:15 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shadowkeeper

First I want to thank everyone who actually had something intelligent to reply with. In other words people who actually spoke their opinion about the topic not the poster.
 
It baffles me however, how some people take some of my words at face value. Needing to be “trained” does not make you less of a whole person. Let me ask you this, before your current Master, were you sure of ALL your limitations? I am not speaking of sexual terms, but over all with in the relationship. Were you able to discern the full meaning of what it is for you to submit to him?

No. However, just like a vanilla woman, I have learned and am learning my limitations through living life - not submission specifically. They learn what it means for them to a wife or domestic partner, I learn what it's like to be a submissive. Vanilla men learn what it's like to be a husband or domestic partner. Dominants learn what it's like to own someone. Nothing special.
quote:


 
Did it not take time for you to “grow” into the submissive you are now?  And of course you are still growing are you not? In some ways on your own and in others throw him. You had all the ingredients, but he polished them and made them shine brighter, did he not?
 
No, not really. Like I already said some relationships thrive on the dominant molding. Not all. If I needed him to brighten me up, we wouldn't work. It just isn't the way we do things and I don't think it's even the way most people do things. It's just a way of doing things. We are helping each other and if there is molding and polishing going on, it's not a one way street where he has some mystical insight into my personality that isn't matched by my own insight into his.
quote:


And coming from someone who has never lived in the Middle East, or has any extensive ties to people from that region, can you really make such a statement “growing up in the "east" does not make one anymore likely to be submissive than growing up in the "west."
 
Behaving according to cultural norms do not make someone submissive even if the behaviors they display seem to be.
quote:


You obviously have no idea what it is like for a woman to grow up in the Middle East and how this influences her way of thinking and living. As well as what she takes as the “normal” or lack there of it, in a relationship.
 
Again: Behaving according to cultural norms do not make someone submissive even if the behaviors they display seem to be.
quote:

 
I never said men do not need guidance. The difference is, in my opinion, is that women need a more DIRECT form of guidance. While men need the INDIRECT form from their submissives or slaves. But that is a whole other topic on its own. 
 
 
I completely disagree.
quote:

 
My opinions are MY TRUTHS, just that. It is my mistake in not properly wording some of my sentences. But then again I am typing this on the go. I am not rereading it all and thinking what would sound politically correct or incorrect. 
 
 
It's not about sounding PC. It's about making statements that apply to everyone, not just you and yours.
quote:

 
 I am here to debate my opinions. I am not here to enforce them. Those opinions are not based on just traveling, but on living and fully interacting with people in two sides of the world.

Excellent. You will certainly find vigorous debate here.




hisannabelle -> RE: Submission. East Vs West (1/9/2008 6:48:26 PM)

greetings shadowkeeper,

i didn't "grow into" anything. i grew as a person. there is a difference. we are always growing as people. i was a perfectly good slave when we got together and i'm a perfectly good slave now, i'm just different, because i've been through different things in the last two years than i had in the 18 before that. it isn't about "growing into" anything or becoming a better anything or anything along those lines.

you're right, i haven't lived in the middle east - however, i do have extensive ties to people who have lived in the middle east, i've talked to middle eastern women, i know what it's like to be a western submissive woman, i've studied islam from the point of view of both history and academia to some extent and plan to study more, and have studied other eastern cultures in which women might be seen as "more submissive" far more extensively as well. actually, before i realized you were only talking about the middle east, i was thinking in my original post of the archetype of the submissive indian woman, because from my own experience in southeast asian studies and women's studies and talking to indian women and reading about indian women, indian feminism, and western women who study and live in india, i would never draw the conclusion that indian women are "naturally" or "culturally" submissive. i don't see how that is any more true for middle eastern women. as a woman, i don't see how you can even find it "generally" true for all women (particularly since, if we're discussing qualifications, where did you get your qualification to speak for women?).

edited to add: i don't get the "direct/indirect guidance" issue or how that relates to your earlier argument that submission is determined by, as someone else so eloquently mentioned, reductionist cultural and gender categories. i haven't seen any reasoning in your posts that actually points to the idea that men and women "need different guidance," and your earlier posts sounded a lot like you think women need men's guidance, not that it's a two way street. furthermore, where do intersexed and non-heterosexual people fit in?

respectfully,
annabelle.




Shadowkeeper -> RE: Submission. East Vs West (1/9/2008 6:54:37 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: junecleaver

If what you are saying is that....women who are oppressed and forced to submit are less likely to want to submit to a partner and women who are freely given the right to choose are more likely to want to submit to a partner...then I know a lot of people like that.  But I can think of at least three women, formerly bullied and abused, empowered by their choice to submit.

I'm taking a lot of courses on Spanish culture and civilization.  I've oftened wondered how machismo and their more common views of women fit into the kinkier parts of their sexuality.  Like if more hispanic women are bottoms, because that's what is culturally acceptable?  Or if it is still just a matter of 'wiring' for everyone, no matter their backgrounds?



You got my main point. Thank you. Of course not all women who were or are, forced, abused or are raised to submit, fight submission. There are always exceptions to the rules or generalities.
 
As far as your second part of the post goes, my personal opinion, genetically we are inclined to be one way or the other. However, the surrounding environment affects how that inclination is manifested.
 
For example, I had no idea what sex was until I was 14. I did not even know the basic anatomy of women. And had never seen a naked woman. However, since I was perhaps 7 or 8, I always had an urge to physically, which later I realized was sexually, to dominate females. Keep in mind that I had no idea about any sexual information what so ever. Add to that an urge to over power females psychologically.
 
I can trace all these feelings and thoughts all the way back to my childhood. How those urges, desires and needs grew and developed was greatly affects by the mixture of cultures I lived in.




AquaticSub -> RE: Submission. East Vs West (1/9/2008 6:58:08 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shadowkeeper

However, the surrounding environment affects how that inclination is manifested.
 
For example, I had no idea what sex was until I was 14. I did not even know the basic anatomy of women. And had never seen a naked woman. However, since I was perhaps 7 or 8, I always had an urge to physically, which later I realized was sexually, to dominate females. Keep in mind that I had no idea about any sexual information what so ever. Add to that an urge to over power females psychologically.
 
I can trace all these feelings and thoughts all the way back to my childhood. How those urges, desires and needs grew and developed was greatly affects by the mixture of cultures I lived in.


I really don't know how much of that is enviroment. If you look at "how did we become this" or "why are we like this" threads you'll find that a lot of people from a lot of different cultures, backgrounds and cultural upbringings trace their dominance or submission back to their childhood. I know I can.




Tantriqu -> RE: Submission. East Vs West (1/9/2008 7:11:43 PM)

Lol, dude, naturally or nurturingly, genetically or environmentally, I could snap your will like a twig!  Trust Me. 
being a bully doesn't mean you get to call yourself a dom.  Let's chat with your [imaginary] girlfriends and see how you chalk up to their other partners with finding their g-spots and your aftercare. 
Remember the debate is not east/west, but religion/smart.  Religious women may be publicly passive but manipulative at home.  Smart women are publicly active and open at home.  I'd debate more, junior, but you have some SAM narcissistic tendencies that suggest you totally get off on this anonymity.
Wouldn't be surprised if the OPP will be calling you for a DNA sample sometime.  Go talk to a therapist before you hurt someone. 




tigerstyle -> RE: Submission. East Vs West (1/9/2008 7:18:04 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo


to think that you had it figured out in only three years by age 19 is just laughable.




You beat me to it.




Shadowkeeper -> RE: Submission. East Vs West (1/9/2008 7:33:10 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: hisannabelle

greetings shadowkeeper,

i didn't "grow into" anything. i grew as a person. there is a difference. we are always growing as people. i was a perfectly good slave when we got together and i'm a perfectly good slave now, i'm just different, because i've been through different things in the last two years than i had in the 18 before that. it isn't about "growing into" anything or becoming a better anything or anything along those lines.

you're right, i haven't lived in the middle east - however, i do have extensive ties to people who have lived in the middle east, i've talked to middle eastern women, i know what it's like to be a western submissive woman, i've studied islam from the point of view of both history and academia to some extent and plan to study more, and have studied other eastern cultures in which women might be seen as "more submissive" far more extensively as well. actually, before i realized you were only talking about the middle east, i was thinking in my original post of the archetype of the submissive indian woman, because from my own experience in southeast asian studies and women's studies and talking to indian women and reading about indian women, indian feminism, and western women who study and live in india, i would never draw the conclusion that indian women are "naturally" or "culturally" submissive. i don't see how that is any more true for middle eastern women. as a woman, i don't see how you can even find it "generally" true for all women (particularly since, if we're discussing qualifications, where did you get your qualification to speak for women?).

edited to add: i don't get the "direct/indirect guidance" issue or how that relates to your earlier argument that submission is determined by, as someone else so eloquently mentioned, reductionist cultural and gender categories. i haven't seen any reasoning in your posts that actually points to the idea that men and women "need different guidance," and your earlier posts sounded a lot like you think women need men's guidance, not that it's a two way street. furthermore, where do intersexed and non-heterosexual people fit in?

respectfully,
annabelle.


My post was directed towards my opinion on women in two specific different cultures. Yes I did not mention anything about the effect of the woman on the man. Why would I? This post was not intended for that. By no means does that mean I do not believe there is a two way, although different, street. You can say one is a street and the other is an underground tunnel. 
 
Like I mentioned before, that is a whole topic on its own. And my thoughts exclude, and I actually said that already in one of my replies, Lesbians, gays, asexual and any other sexual minority.
 
I am not speaking FOR women. I am speaking ABOUT women, or rather my opinion of women in two regions of the world. I am by no means a representative. I am an explorer and observer.
 
You may have been a good slave before meeting your current Master and you may be still a good slave after being his. My question is, has his ownership of you, helped you become better? Or grow further? Both to meet your and his needs. Better perhaps is not the right word to use.
 
I shall rephrase the question. Can you deny that his ownership of you has made you more in tune with yourself? And your slavery or choice of submission? Vs when he did not own you?
 
Of course he is not the only influence. But he must have played and is still playing a big if not a main role in influencing your development.
 
Then again polyamorous relationships sometimes have a bit of a different dynamic than monogamous ones. So the size of your Masters influence may not be as big as I think.
 
Once again this last part is whole topic on its own.




AquaticSub -> RE: Submission. East Vs West (1/9/2008 7:41:14 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shadowkeeper

I shall rephrase the question. Can you deny that his ownership of you has made you more in tune with yourself? And your slavery or choice of submission? Vs when he did not own you? 
 


The question is still: How is this any different or more special than how vanilla couples change, guide and help each other grow?

It's growth because you are in a relationship with someone, it's just not special to d/s or m/s relationships.




thetammyjo -> RE: Submission. East Vs West (1/10/2008 5:29:06 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shadowkeeper

I am not speaking about the last one hundred years or even the last 50 years. I am speaking about the last 30 years and up until today. The normal in the Western society is to have no independence on men. May it be emotional, financial or in any means. Perhaps that is more evident in industrial and capital cities.



Actually I think the "goal" whatever that is, at least in my part of the world was that each person in a relationship not be dependent on the other but that they work together to create a family, a household, and become better individuals.

Sometimes one person is better at leading over all, sometimes leadership changes depending on the subject or need, and sometimes people can find a close balance.

Life happens, people die or leave, each person has to be capable to live on her/his own.




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