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Vulnerability - 1/9/2008 8:31:02 PM   
sodsta


Posts: 246
Joined: 7/19/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline 		I was asked a question recently about vulnerability, and what makes me feel vulnerable. It was a really interesting question, and quite fun to answer, because I got to do a bit of thinking about different situations (during a scene, mainly) in which I would feel vulnerable. There are different types of vulnerable, and I (and I'm sure all of us) can feel them all depending on the situation. For example, I sometimes find it hard to answer personal questions, or questions of an intimate nature, and that makes me feel vulnerable. That's more a kind of emotional vulnerability, because someone is probing into my innermost thoughts and feelings and I am laying them bare.

Then there's the more physical type of vulnerability, which could come from being tied down or made otherwise helpless with a Domme whom I know has a very wicked streak. Eye contact can also make me feel vulnerable, too, depending on who I am looking at.

What I wanted to ask you guys was, is there anything specific that makes you feel particularly vulnerable? Anything from general feelings of helpless during bondage, right down to tiny little things like the way your Dom/me says hello in the morning.  

< Message edited by sodsta -- 1/9/2008 8:41:15 PM >
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RE: Vulnerability - 1/9/2008 8:34:24 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Admitting I need help- that's probably near the top of my list.

Like now, it's easy to say "Yes, of course I need help with lots of things" but in the moment itself?

I'm still so used to HAVING to get it done myself, and being so picky about things, it's incredibly difficult to be vulnerable to the point of acknowledging I need help and that it's ok to ask the people around me for it.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to sodsta)
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RE: Vulnerability - 1/9/2008 8:35:58 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		Yes, answering personal questions is a tough one for me too. I also always have an extremely vulnerable moment right at the second that the last restraint clicks shut. Always.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to sodsta)
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RE: Vulnerability - 1/9/2008 8:37:08 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Admitting I need help- that's probably near the top of my list.

Like now, it's easy to say "Yes, of course I need help with lots of things" but in the moment itself?

I'm still so used to HAVING to get it done myself, and being so picky about things, it's incredibly difficult to be vulnerable to the point of acknowledging I need help and that it's ok to ask the people around me for it.


Ditto!

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Vulnerability - 1/9/2008 8:38:35 PM   
tinoketsheli


Posts: 50
Joined: 12/9/2007
Status: offline 		one of my limits is anal sex, although it is one I am willing to compromise on in the future. But when my Dom would take me from behind and hold my ass checks open would always set me on edge, it was past erotic of an almost panic of "what are you doing? stop right now" kind of thing...
sorry to be graphic

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Vulnerability - 1/9/2008 8:52:11 PM   
AFlyInYourWeb


Posts: 284
Joined: 8/30/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sodsta

I was asked a question recently about vulnerability, and what makes me feel vulnerable. .

What I wanted to ask you guys was, is there anything specific that makes you feel particularly vulnerable? Anything from general feelings of helpless during bondage, right down to tiny little things like the way your Dom/me says hello in the morning.  


When I was younger, bondage was my first love because it "allowed" me to be vulnerable when that was incredibly hard for me to do. 

But as I matured, I realized it is intimacy which creates the greatest vulnerability.  

Intimacy and vulnerability feed off each other.

That intimacy is what is reflected in your sensitivity to the way your Domina says "good morning".  The more intimate a relationship gets, the more things will remind you of your vulnerability...and your place in her heart.  Never forget that to create the intimacy you do have, she has become emotionally vulnerable, too.

_____________________________

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(in reply to sodsta)
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RE: Vulnerability - 1/9/2008 8:52:33 PM   
ksub4u


Posts: 124
Joined: 11/27/2007
Status: offline 		Eye contact always makes me feel very vulnerable - always has, even with past vanilla partners.  I have a difficult time because eyes reveal a lot to me, and I know my partner is seeing a lot in mine.  I feel very vulnerable also, when crying.  I am normally a strong person, and to lean on someone makes me feel open in a way that can be almost painful. 

(in reply to sodsta)
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RE: Vulnerability - 1/9/2008 8:57:06 PM   
TethersEnd


Posts: 102
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline 		I have to agree with Fly and ksub, eye contact usually starts it, but the intmacy beyond that shakes me to the core.  

(in reply to ksub4u)
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RE: Vulnerability - 1/9/2008 9:00:39 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Admitting true needs and desires makes me feel very vulnerable because it totally opens me up to rejection of my heart. But, I do my best ot be transparent for my slaves, friends and family.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to sodsta)
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RE: Vulnerability - 1/9/2008 9:42:40 PM   
slavetaboo


Posts: 408
Joined: 11/30/2007
Status: offline 		I find vulnerability in far too many things to just list a few. The actual daily interaction pulls me closer because I am so open. I would even say that I feel vulnerable simply in the presence of someone whom I know can control and manipulate me. In fact, I look for someone who has the quality to do this to me.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Vulnerability - 1/9/2008 9:45:10 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:


What I wanted to ask you guys was, is there anything specific that makes you feel particularly vulnerable?


Specifically?  Being bound and seeing a bottle of Tabasco sauce sitting on the dresser.


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to sodsta)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Vulnerability - 1/9/2008 9:46:24 PM   
ksub4u


Posts: 124
Joined: 11/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TethersEnd

I have to agree with Fly and ksub, eye contact usually starts it, but the intmacy beyond that shakes me to the core.  


I'm so glad that I'm not alone in this.  It's something I'm working on with my Master, to be able to be so open to him.  It's hard, and sometimes while in the midst of it all, I have to mentally give myself a talking to so that I give that vulnerability to him.  I know he wants it, but fortunately he understands it's a process. 

(in reply to TethersEnd)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Vulnerability - 1/10/2008 4:47:18 AM   
malloves69


Posts: 913
Joined: 9/15/2006
Status: offline 		love strapon play and being fisted by my mistress  but for me being a submissive male i find while doing so even to this day and we have been doing it now for almost 2 years  me bending over doggy style i feel is very vulnerable once she is getting ready to take me fist with her strapons and then her fist  love her being in control but once she has opened me up and is inside of me i am truly vulnerable to her as she takes me this way  love it ..what can i say ?  i trust her completely but what a powerfull exchange of power it is me being the male ...and she does it in such a loving and caring way only a woman can do  simply amazing i must say ...have fun ,mal

(in reply to ksub4u)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Vulnerability - 1/10/2008 5:32:13 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Katy what brand of tobasco sauce.

(in reply to malloves69)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Vulnerability - 1/10/2008 5:39:17 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

What I wanted to ask you guys was, is there anything specific that makes you feel particularly vulnerable?

Not being in control of myself; but not because it scares me. Losing control, for me, can lead to a very dangerous situation.


_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to sodsta)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Vulnerability - 1/10/2008 5:45:10 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Accept no imitations or cheap brands!

http://www.valleydistributing.com/images/1255.jpg


(actually I can't recall the brand of hot sauce, I did learn that milk does cool down the effects)

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Vulnerability - 1/10/2008 9:50:42 AM   
tinoketsheli


Posts: 50
Joined: 12/9/2007
Status: offline 		now i am interested - what is the tobasco sauce for???

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Vulnerability - 1/10/2008 10:26:06 AM   
MissHarlet


Posts: 2728
Joined: 9/11/2005
From: El Paso , TX US
Status: offline 		Discussing my health issues with a prospective submissive or with my submissve when I am having a bad day.

_____________________________

Protectress of hearts/souls of all submissives calling Bounty's Place home, by order of Bounty~Proprietor

To be respected you must be respectful, to be loved you must be willing to love,
to be trusted you must be willing to trust.

(in reply to tinoketsheli)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Vulnerability - 1/10/2008 10:50:09 AM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

Admitting true needs and desires makes me feel very vulnerable because it totally opens me up to rejection of my heart. But, I do my best ot be transparent for my slaves, friends and family.

Master Fire


This hits it right on for me....all of what she said...but especially what I highlighted in red


_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Vulnerability - 1/10/2008 11:08:49 AM   
velvetslave


Posts: 33
Joined: 12/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ksub4u

Eye contact always makes me feel very vulnerable - always has, even with past vanilla partners.  I have a difficult time because eyes reveal a lot to me, and I know my partner is seeing a lot in mine. 


Eye contact does it for me as well.  Talk about feeling emotionally naked!

(in reply to ksub4u)
Profile   Post #: 20
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