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RE: How to determine a REAL Dom vs a wanna be - 1/10/2008 6:29:18 PM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

"Twue" seems to be some sort of fantasy ideal-makes us all fakes in the end-no one can measure up to something that high and mighty 24 7-sorry.

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(in reply to Suleiman)

Post #: 21

RE: How to determine a REAL Dom vs a wanna be - 1/10/2008 6:33:23 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

~Fast Reply~

All real doms wear fezs.

No exceptions.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Leatherist)

Post #: 22

RE: How to determine a REAL Dom vs a wanna be - 1/10/2008 7:49:22 PM

Honsoku

Posts: 422
Joined: 6/26/2007
Status: offline

*Slaps on a fez and jumps into his little car*

Come! it is the Shine, er, real dom parade!

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 23

RE: How to determine a REAL Dom vs a wanna be - 1/11/2008 1:16:52 AM

darkpassenger434

Posts: 138
Joined: 1/1/2008
Status: offline

I'm confused. Criteria one state that they may be a fake if they DON'T demand you call them sir or whatever initially? Is that what you wanted to convey? I don't demand any titles when I'm just getting to know someone, that comes later. As to the other criteria, I wouldn't say they label someone as "fake" so much as they label someone, and this is a technical term, an "asshole"
-R

_____________________________

"The man who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the man doing it."

(in reply to Suleiman)

Post #: 24

RE: How to determine a REAL Dom vs a wanna be - 1/11/2008 1:36:04 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

PTH
I do not add to something I deem as pointless.
I know you are fairly new to all this - so my advice and the advice I would give anyone who is new to wiitwd is DON'T get caught up in what you 'think'. Don't get caught up in having to do things. And don't get caught up in doing things only ONE way.
Another thing to remember is one persons wannabe is someone elses somebody.(repost)
And the list you have may work for you, but for me, it's not even remotely correct.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to parttimehotty)

Post #: 25

RE: How to determine a REAL Dom vs a wanna be - 1/11/2008 1:45:26 AM

MistressUltimate

Posts: 15
Joined: 11/27/2007
Status: offline

I agree so totally with Darcyandthedark. that the only thing I am going to add is this: This is NOT, nor was it intended to be a sex site. What it has become is a site where people confuse BDSM for kinky sex. There are a great many about!

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 26

RE: How to determine a REAL Dom vs a wanna be - 1/11/2008 1:51:05 AM

eyesopened

Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

~Fast Reply~

All real doms wear fezs.

No exceptions.

No I'm never gonna do it without the fez on - Steely Dan ( a REAL Dom Band?)

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 27

RE: How to determine a REAL Dom vs a wanna be - 1/11/2008 4:33:02 AM

ladyeleanor

Posts: 10
Joined: 11/9/2007
Status: offline

Instead of dividing people up into true, false, wannabe, genuine, blah blah, I have found two categories which suit my purposes quite well. Dickhead or not dickhead. Integrity or otherwise IMHO does not exist. People are either dickheads or they are not. The rub is no one thinks they are a dickhead, and even if they do suspect themselves to be a dickhead they certainly aren't going to tell you that. Therfore, I have decided to categorise all people (not just from here) into one of my two categories on an individual basis. I find this to be most effective.

(in reply to eyesopened)

Post #: 28

RE: How to determine a REAL Dom vs a wanna be - 1/11/2008 5:31:53 AM

parttimehotty

Posts: 4002
Joined: 11/19/2007
From: Virginville
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

PTH
I do not add to something I deem as pointless.
I know you are fairly new to all this - so my advice and the advice I would give anyone who is new to wiitwd is DON'T get caught up in what you 'think'. Don't get caught up in having to do things. And don't get caught up in doing things only ONE way.
Another thing to remember is one persons wannabe is someone elses somebody.(repost)
And the list you have may work for you, but for me, it's not even remotely correct.

the.dark.

The list may be incorrect and that is why i posted it here, for feedback, additional items, etc. Coming from a lifetime of vanilla relationships, it was pretty easy to determine who was a "player"/who was sincere. Add submission to the mix and that's a whole new level for me and as you can tell from my previous posts, my choice of Dom's has not been the best. So, applying what i've learned from my previous Dom, i created my list. i appreciate everyone's input and i do agree, i can't limit myself to the list. Everything is not written in stone, these were merely ...for lack of a better word...guidelines. i did enjoy serving, giving up control, submitting to his needs/desires and i'd like to continue to do so, but as was suggested in another posting, i should step back, clear my head, decide what i want and then proceed w/my search. This list, as i said, was just a draft of guidelines that i submitted for your input.

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(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 29

RE: How to determine a REAL Dom vs a wanna be - 1/11/2008 6:10:20 AM

Owner4SexSlave

Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline

Well, I agree with your list outside of number 4. Wanting to talk about limits and such.   I think it's important to talk about these things along with other things.  Generally when I'm talking with somebody it's a cross between BDSM things and day to day life. Who and what they are as a person. This includes BDSM.

With that said, I think anybody who only wants to talk about BDSM and sex and nothing else.. well that might be a good RED FLAG to see.   However, some people could care less about anything but BDSM and sex.   This includes Doms, subs, slave, switches and whatnot.   That's fine, some people just want to play and fuck each other.   So, if you are seeking a deeper type of relationship, this should be a red flag.

I myself have encountered a few women that I've had IM exchanges with, all they wanted to do was talk about BDSM and sex.   Needless to say, well it was RED FLAG for me.   I was even so blunt to tell them I wanted to talk about other things besides Sex and BDSM.

I really did not view them as not being a real submissive, just not the sub for me.

Anyways, I have to disagree somewhat with your number 4.

In terms of talking about BDSM and sex, I will let somebody know if I'm not into something. I'm actually pretty eclectic when it comes to BDSM, so the odds of some activity one enjoys and me not enjoying it is pretty slim.   Hell, there are things I have not done too, that I'm open to exploring with the right person.

I can totally understand, your reservations about sharing these things with somebody because they might try to butter you up and tell you what you wanna hear. But submissives and others are good at doing this, just not DOMs.

I've actually walked away from exploring anything further with somebody because they expressed certain activities as hard limits. Things that I know I damn well enjoy and would be pressing to do. So there!  Case in point where honestly up front works.   A lot easier to cut things off sooner compared to later. Sure it's nice to get to know somebody. But why tap dance and waste each others time, if it's not gonna be a snow ball chance of it working out?

For instance, I enjoy verbal humilation in the bedroom. I actually had one submissive that emailed me several times.   I read her profile... and she did not seem right for me.   I ended up writing her back and shared with her a little more about my BDSM interests.   She seemed pretty real to me.   I know she had a bit of a crush on me, cause of the emails I got. But case in point where getting to BDSM activities spared a lot of heartache and grief in the end.

(in reply to parttimehotty)

Post #: 30

RE: How to determine a REAL Dom vs a wanna be - 1/11/2008 6:12:01 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

Steely Dan ( a REAL Dom Band?)

Yes, of course.
Read the lyrics to I Got The News

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“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to eyesopened)

Post #: 31

RE: How to determine a REAL Dom vs a wanna be - 1/11/2008 6:33:27 AM

Owner4SexSlave

Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline

OK here's a smart ass reply! See if you can top them from the bottom using pussy power. if you can they have failed the DOM test!...

(in reply to Leatherist)

Post #: 32

RE: How to determine a REAL Dom vs a wanna be - 1/11/2008 7:02:35 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I understand what you are saying about being able to see a playah from the rest when it comes to looking for a mate, but even in the vanilla world playahs can fall in love and live happily ever after. My point is that sooner or later the majority want to find love... even many doms want to find love.

I looked at your profile, and noted your age. You must have some experience with the opposite sex besides the dominant variety. The things that you learned in vanilla relationships will serve you now you are looking for a dom. The one thing you have going for you whether you know it or not is your intuition about people. A lot of people that are rotten pickers just aren't paying attention to that inner voice that tells them the person they are with is not good for them.

My advice is to look beyond the "dom" label for the man underneath it, find a good man and forget about that man being a dom intitially. If it makes you uncomfortable to be approached by being called a name, demands being made on you right from the start, and you would rather not talk about sex or BDSM at the beginning... say that at the start of your profile. State that you are looking for someone that is a gentleman, if that is your desire.

If that list is a guideline, then there is nothing wrong with that. But I do not think it is a good idea for the rest of us to add to that list to be honest. As has been mentioned, a wannabe for you could be someone else's perfect dominant. And there have been many people who posted on this thread shows you how true this is. I think it would be a lot more positive to make a list of attributes of what you do want, instead of focusing on what is unwanted. If you get strong in thinking about what you want in a mate, then it is easier to recognize when it shows up. By focusing on the bad, you tend to see more of it....

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to parttimehotty)

Post #: 33

RE: How to determine a REAL Dom vs a wanna be - 1/11/2008 7:04:43 AM

SilentTigresss

Posts: 261
Joined: 1/18/2004
Status: offline

Mike

Now on the lighter side since sometimes I can not resist being a smart ass, how about someone that is unwilling to show you his/her certificate from the International Dom/me Association showing that they have paid the $19.99 to join said association.

Ahh, but what about someone who gets upset when asked to see their driver's license ?

(in reply to SirMIkeSD)

Post #: 34

RE: How to determine a REAL Dom vs a wanna be - 1/11/2008 8:02:21 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

SlientTigress let me offer you 2 certificates for the price of one. I will even throw in a slightly used dildo. Just send me your dirvers iscense number err I mean your credit card number along with the introductory price off $15.95 (Wink) discounted just for you. The rest of you women send me the $19.95 for one certificate.

(in reply to SilentTigresss)

Post #: 35

RE: How to determine a REAL Dom vs a wanna be - 1/11/2008 9:04:49 AM

xBullx

Posts: 4206
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

I demand alot of things....

-pinches a slave; yep, I'm real-

I suppose you could ask my for references....

I'm only making light. Though this is a serious issue for those venturing onward.

No one set of rules or guides can determine authenticity; but the take it at a safe pace seems rather practical, haste makes _____.

Bull

To be or not to be real, that is the question....

_____________________________

Live well,

Bull

I'm not an asshole; I'm simply resolute...

"A Republic, If You Can Keep It."

Caution: My humor is a bit skewed.

(in reply to parttimehotty)

Post #: 36

RE: How to determine a REAL Dom vs a wanna be - 1/11/2008 9:12:50 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

I’ll be honest. It is not my job, nor do I want it to be; to instruct ‘newbies’ as to what THEY believe to be real or not.

While your list is good for you; and while your list may be good for others; it is not good for everyone.

A person can only judge another by what they feel is right or wrong; they can only choose a partner based on what they want and do not want. No one else can do it for them; and no ‘list’ can help them to make that determination.

There is no real or true in life; except for what is real and true to YOU.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to parttimehotty)

Post #: 37

RE: How to determine a REAL Dom vs a wanna be - 1/11/2008 10:00:19 AM

Jeffff

Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline

Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa that makes too much sense

Jeffwey

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 38

RE: How to determine a REAL Dom vs a wanna be - 1/11/2008 10:08:02 AM

SilentTigresss

Posts: 261
Joined: 1/18/2004
Status: offline

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 39

RE: How to determine a REAL Dom vs a wanna be - 1/11/2008 10:08:28 AM

fluffyswitch

Posts: 1108
Joined: 9/29/2007
From: Buffalo
Status: offline

what's good for you isn't good for me. you might think my domme is fake/playing because she doesn't want to scene with me. i think she's great because she doesn't want to scene with me, and vice versa for the dom she's trying to incorporate into our relationship. it's all in what you're looking for.

(in reply to Suleiman)

Post #: 40

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