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undergroundsea -> RE: Solutions for sissies (1/14/2008 6:08:34 PM)
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I see your original intent was to be helpful and agree that thinking about what would make it interesting for the other party is a good idea. I don't agree as much with other details in your posts.
quote:
ORIGINAL: AAkasha
To me, it doesn't seem that difficult to separate the concept of "forced feminization" from men who crossdress all the time and are looking for a femdom who will just accommodate them - and the femdom is sort of another accessory.
There are more shades than just the two above. Within forced feminization, there are those who enjoy forced feminization towards emotional SM, and those who enjoy it towards D/s without emotional SM. The latter type does not experience the emotional discomfort you describe. Also, the want to crossdress can result from a sum of different motivations, of which the forced component as an expression of D/s is just one.
quote:
Sissies? The ones that dress up all the time, have a wardrobe that costs more than mine? The ones that want to talk in a girl voice, have a sassy "look at me!" attitude, the ones that I cannot *force* because they are already dressed up? It's just not the same for me. Sure, I can "enjoy" it on some level - entetainment, amusement, button-pushing - but do I get a burning lust to do it? No - because at the core, the style of domination that makes me wet includes some bending of will, some sense of vulnerability, some conflict of desires (on the part of the sub), some subtle shame/embarrassment. Sissies are just too self indulgent to go there because they LOVE to be dressed up and their dressing up is often the most important part of their play. I know quite a few men that only dress up for me. That's incredibly hot. There's a man right now at the gym wearing panties for me, and trust me, he's not going to be running out to buy more lingerie any time soon - unless I tell him to. That thought fuels my fantasies and lust to be sure. That's the method in which I can eroticize feminziation.
I am proud to have as friends a couple where the sub dresses as a sissy. He is fortunate to be married to a wonderful woman who loves him and his fetish, and supports and even enhances his practice of this fetish. He looks fabulous when dressed and she has helped tremendously to achieve the look he has. They are an inspiration to many other sissies for the happy marriage they have--there are indeed women who love sissies--and for how he has excelled in his role.
Through knowing him I have become more aware and sympathetic of the difficulties faced by men who crossdress in general with respect to acceptance and approval even within the kink community. Due to my regard for him, and for general empathy towards a person who faces disapproval for an alternative interest, I wish there would be less censure against these men. It is fair of you to pursue areas that interest you. It is not fair of you to declare sissies as selfish. My friend identifies strongly as a sissy but does not fit the description you give. He is well liked in either persona andis extremely unselfish. The selfish behavior you might have seen in a sissy is not specific to this identification but to other behavioral patterns distributed across the general population.
Based on past posts, I observe that you rely often on inductive reasoning--you see a behavior across a submissive man (in this case, sissies) or perhaps even more than one submissive man, and then conclude that all submissive men must exhibit that behavior. I think what you are in fact observing is behavior that is present across all people and is also distributed across submissive men. The corresponding deductive reasoning would be that there are various behaviors and traits distributed across population and because submissive men are part of this population, you will see various behaviors and traits similarly distributed across submissive men.
Based on past posts, I also see that you make many generalizations, many of which are offensive to submissive men. Upon objection, you sometimes say that this generalization does not apply to whoever might have raised the objection. What if a person makes an offensive generalization against an ethnic group and then says to a member of that ethnic group, oh but you are different? Do you see why I find your generalizations and the response to the objection problematic?
While I am sure there are sissies who are selfish, I am not clear on how reasonable or not is your criteria for who is selfish. I don't think there is anything wrong with a person having an elaborate wardrobe of attire one likes to wear, be it vanilla clothes, latex outfits, or sissy outfits. Also, across population there are people who are strongly focused on what they enjoy. They are not interested or excited by experiences that do not include their interests. They wish for their partners to try the activity a specific way. This activity might be to dress in women's clothes, or it might be, as you like to do, to put someone in bondage and have them endure pain and sacrifice. When unable to find a compatible partner in the limited pool, have you not tied up vanilla boyfriends--persons who were not inherently interested in the suggested activity for the sake of the activity--and wanted or expected them to endure pain in order to entertain your interests? What in principle makes the behavior you describe of a sissy different?
If you don't find a sexual charge in crossdressing someone who is enthusiastic about crossdressing, fair enough. Why say it in a way that suggests they are wrong for liking it?
Cheers,
Sea
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