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RE: Would your life change - 1/10/2008 11:59:32 AM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		My mom and my Dad and my brother and his wife, all know I am kinky, my brother and his wife are kinky to some small degree too. And I don't really have friends outside of myDaddy dom, My pen pal heather knows, and is ok with it. and if I did I'd pick people I could be open about myself with, So my life wouldn't change.

quote:

ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07

How or would your life change if your vanilla friends and family knew about your D/s relationship. If it was accepted by all of them, How would that change your life? if it would change it at all?


< Message edited by YourhandMyAss -- 1/10/2008 12:05:09 PM >

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Would your life change - 1/10/2008 12:00:07 PM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		if my devote Christian (Baptist) family knew about my BDSM activities, then i would be blacklisted and banned from all family functions.  it's the price i would have to pay for being in a legacy of Black Baptist ministers and deacons - and i'm very serious about being blacklisted too.



_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Would your life change - 1/10/2008 12:02:03 PM   
takenbyjohnr07


Posts: 787
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		OMG! i was just about to post the same thing. Just who is he waiting approval of? Hmmmm :)

_____________________________

i am the sole property of Johnr. He is the love of my life and the greatest Owner and i will live to serve and, please him only every day of my life.

(in reply to breatheasone)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Would your life change - 1/10/2008 12:05:00 PM   
OmegaG


Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07

Not so much find out, but accept it. As i stated in my  original post.


I choose my friends carefully.  My sex life isn't the only apsect of my life that doesn't follow the culturally convential stereotypes so the people who surround me have to be non-judgemental.

I have a few friends who know the basics and repect my right to privacy on specifics.

My family laid the foundation for me to grow up with the ability to explore paths that make me happy.  My mother might raise an eyebrow but other then that, no reaction except maybe slight embaressment for finding out something that they as well think is private business.  My brother in law may try to pursuade my sister to be more like me.

I see no intervention in my future.

_____________________________


Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Would your life change - 1/10/2008 12:05:14 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07

How or would your life change if your vanilla friends and family knew about your D/s relationship. If it was accepted by all of them, How would that change your life? if it would change it at all?


I don't think it would change my life too much. We would be more open about calling each other by "Sir" and "Kitten" and he might make me stand in a corner every now and then in front of people but not too much would actively change. I would feel more relaxed though.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Would your life change - 1/10/2008 12:05:19 PM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline 		LOL..... they would probably try to blackmail me...

Nothing good would come out of it that's for sure. my sis did find out and she blabbed to everyone - i denied and everyone believed me - the opposite i supose was too horrifying. If she could use it to hurt me - she most certainly would... just the nature of the beast i have to deal with. 

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Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Would your life change - 1/10/2008 12:06:40 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		It wouldn't change, it didn't change.  We are who we are whatever and where-ever so we do not alter and so peoples perceptions of us do not alter.
 
the.dark.

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RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Would your life change - 1/10/2008 12:09:31 PM   
verysweet


Posts: 128
Status: offline 		I have two vanilla friends who know about my current relationship and all that it entails.  They've known for a while now, and nothing about my friendship with them has changed.  In hindsight, my initial hesitancy in discussing it was unnecessary and I value being able to discuss any part of my life with them if I so desire.   The rest of my 'inner circle' surely know I'm kinky, but to what degree I am uncertain.  The only real reason there's been no full disclosure thus far is because our little people are all best friends, too.  But I'd venture a guess and say our friendship could weather it.   I'm sure they've got a few perversions up their sleeves as well.   My family (parents) is pretty tight-lipped about sexuality.  Who knows how they'd react---although it's doubtful their response would alter my life in any earth-shattering way. 



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Poetry in devotion.

(in reply to OmegaG)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Would your life change - 1/10/2008 12:17:38 PM   
takenbyjohnr07


Posts: 787
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		That would be so wonderful to be able to call him Sir, around vanilla people. Thanks, i didn't think of that one.

_____________________________

i am the sole property of Johnr. He is the love of my life and the greatest Owner and i will live to serve and, please him only every day of my life.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Would your life change - 1/10/2008 12:56:09 PM   
lablancsecret


Posts: 73
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty

quote:

ORIGINAL: lablancsecret
So being a Dom qualifies one to organize sexy parties...


Well...BDSM isn't my only "adult" activity.  I am also involved in the swinging scene, and tend to always have a beautiful woman (or two) on my arm. 

God I am such a himbo...

Taggard



Ah, another answer to that question, I guess. And who wouldn't want to ask a man with one or more beautiful women on his arm to arrange a stag party? (They always need smokin' hotties at those.)

And is himbo the male version of bimbo? (Why am I so clueless...)
Cluelessly,
E


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Just remember this: I'm not asking for it, I'm pleading for it.


(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Would your life change - 1/10/2008 1:52:13 PM   
ksub4u


Posts: 124
Joined: 11/27/2007
Status: offline 		Wouldn't change at all because I've never discussed my sex life with family ... but I'm sure my girlfriends would have plenty of new questions to ask me when we go out for martinis if they knew all.    

< Message edited by ksub4u -- 1/10/2008 1:57:22 PM >

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Would your life change - 1/10/2008 1:57:02 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		I don't think that our life would change much at all.  We are all three introverts and prefer to spend the majority of the time with the three of us and the kids.  Most of the socializing with others that we do is with people who are aware of our lifestyle and how we prefer to live.  If the few others friends that are currently unaware found out it would mean that Alandra and I would follow our standard protocol in front of them as well. 

Truthfully, the fact that he is the boss in the relationship is the least of the issue.  Being poly where we live is less likely to be accepted than for others to know that he is the boss.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Would your life change - 1/10/2008 2:00:38 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		If all three of our families of origin knew and accepted I suspect we'd get more gifts for holidays and birthdays.

We'd probably get more questions that now only one or two of us need deal with.

Overall I'm pretty open with the amount of information my family of origins wants and my very religious and conservative mother always adds "Give my love to Fox" before she gets off the phone or in her letters. That's a big deal that touches me deeply.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Would your life change - 1/10/2008 2:02:30 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07

How or would your life change if your vanilla friends and family knew about your D/s relationship. If it was accepted by all of them, How would that change your life? if it would change it at all?

If it was accepted by all of them then they would probably all want what I got.....so there wouldn't be a problem anyway.....actually come to think of it all my remaining family (except ofcourse the little ones) and those I consider friends are all kinked as a five bob note anyway.....mind you the ones that got jealous tried blackmail............

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 1/10/2008 2:06:22 PM >

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Would your life change - 1/10/2008 2:03:59 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo


Overall I'm pretty open with the amount of information my family of origins wants and my very religious and conservative mother always adds "Give my love to Fox" before she gets off the phone or in her letters. That's a big deal that touches me deeply.


awwwwwwww that's so sweet.......

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Would your life change - 1/10/2008 2:50:40 PM   
moonvine


Posts: 780
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline 		Well, assuming I had such a relationship and my family found out, I have no clue what would happen.  I know it would worry my mother terribly and she suffers from enough with major depressive episodes and my brother being an alcoholic, so I would never wish for her to find out, she's had a very difficult life.  I don't think it would affect my relationship with my friends much.

(in reply to Prinsexx)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Would your life change - 1/10/2008 3:04:58 PM   
cherrypez


Posts: 114
Joined: 12/20/2007
Status: offline 		    Some of our vanilla friends and family members know, some don't.   I prefer the latter the kinks we do in private our simply that; private.   Yes Sir come easily from my lips, out of vanilla habit.   Anyone who deserves my respect I normally call Sir.    Yes Sir is not purely a D/s thing, it's common in some areas.  I like to sit on the floor so sitting at his feet is common with my head resting in his lap and if he plays with my hair no one thinks OMG they are Master and slave, I will fix his plate and bring it to him even in public, I walk a step behind because my legs are much shorter, I wouldn't have the need to wear a collar in public as I dislike any sort of jewerly and only wear is occasionally---even my wedding ring proved to be a pain for me therefore it was sold shortly after my wedding simply because I never wore it,  but there are all sorts of D/s things we do that are very vanilla and not strange to most people.   No he is not going to cane, or have me suck his cock at a family get together but I wouldn't want that anyways.    So if everyone knew that we were in the lifestyle and accepted it, nothing would change.    Bottom line is we are a loving couple and what we allow people to see in public just that, they all assume we have sex, but they don't need to know it's kinky.  

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Would your life change - 1/10/2008 4:04:24 PM   
azropedntied


Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline 		Nothing would change , i dont care who know s i have bdsm and fetish kink as a part of me and my life .I am who i am wow that sounded like popeye I yam WHo's i yam yeeyuck 

(in reply to cherrypez)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Would your life change - 1/10/2008 4:06:26 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07
That would be so wonderful to be able to call him Sir, around vanilla people. Thanks, i didn't think of that one.

What makes you think anyone cares if you call him sir?  In a lot of families it's what you are SUPPOSED to call the patriarch.

For me it wouldn't matter- they already know.  I won't become a friend with someone who won't know ALL of me, and while I haven't outed myself to my whole family- they've seen and heard enough to know.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Would your life change - 1/10/2008 4:16:38 PM   
Rushemery


Posts: 310
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline 		The people I confide in already know, anyone else wouldnt be suprised, some in my family would try and twist it to something bad if I was to say it out loud to them but those ones I rarly have contact with anyway

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 40
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