RE: Cheating, Lying Kinksters (Full Version)

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Maestro66babycak -> RE: Cheating, Lying Kinksters (1/23/2008 12:10:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl


WE have and always will have an online relationship solely until death do us part!

am i cheating on my fiancé - NO and you can verbally ask him if you want - message me if you want to ask yourself

am i cheating on Daddy - NO

your assumptions and opinions if you think i am


Oh, your relationship with Daddy is only online.... then you don't really wear a collar from him... it isn't real.... you simply have affection for him as a father figure.... well why didn't you say that in the first place?
Is your fiance' an online engagement as well?
Hehehe, just joking ....




spanklette -> RE: Cheating, Lying Kinksters (1/23/2008 12:31:40 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Maestro66babycak

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl


WE have and always will have an online relationship solely until death do us part!

am i cheating on my fiancé - NO and you can verbally ask him if you want - message me if you want to ask yourself

am i cheating on Daddy - NO

your assumptions and opinions if you think i am


Oh, your relationship with Daddy is only online.... then you don't really wear a collar from him... it isn't real.... you simply have affection for him as a father figure.... well why didn't you say that in the first place?
Is your fiance' an online engagement as well?
Hehehe, just joking ....


Is there some specific reason that you feel the need to put someone down for their life choices...is it because you refuse to make any of your own? Ooooh, an assumption...how about I'll be the pot and you be the kettle?




laurell3 -> RE: Cheating, Lying Kinksters (1/23/2008 2:01:47 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Maestro66babycak

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl


WE have and always will have an online relationship solely until death do us part!

am i cheating on my fiancé - NO and you can verbally ask him if you want - message me if you want to ask yourself

am i cheating on Daddy - NO

your assumptions and opinions if you think i am


Oh, your relationship with Daddy is only online.... then you don't really wear a collar from him... it isn't real.... you simply have affection for him as a father figure.... well why didn't you say that in the first place?
Is your fiance' an online engagement as well?
Hehehe, just joking ....


Who says it's not real or only just affection?  That's silly, the only people that define their emotions and relationships are them.




ELUSIVE1 -> RE: Cheating, Lying Kinksters (1/23/2008 4:19:00 AM)

While I personally choose not to be involved with a married cheater, I also choose to keep an open mind and let people live their lives and do what they want without a judgmental point of view. I find it ambiguous for kinksters to pass judgement on other peoples kink, some people's kink is married folks. . .




MissHarlet -> RE: Cheating, Lying Kinksters (1/23/2008 7:43:03 AM)

Its not shock that lifestylers cheat .. its a comment on anyone that cheats .....




celticlord2112 -> RE: Cheating, Lying Kinksters (1/23/2008 8:15:36 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

But now, to get back to my original question, which I may not have worded very well; Is anyone else insulted when others come here and assume that we will condone any type of behavior even when it is destructive, and goes against the usual dynamic of trust and communication, just because we're 'kinky'?



For myself....no, I am not insulted. However, neither do I seek to "condone" what others do with their lives. It's not my call to make.




celticlord2112 -> RE: Cheating, Lying Kinksters (1/23/2008 8:17:31 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterRoad

I agree completely. Those who would cheat on a spouse are a disgrace to the honor of the Lifestyle. I know of one on here who is married, afraid to tell the little wifey that he wants to play, and is messing around withthe live in g/f of someone he calls a "friend". The irony is that this clown doesn't even know that his little plaything is playing with his friend there in the area as well as playing on the web. The sad part is that this is going on and others are being hurt by it all, even those who aren't living with these two.

I guess the fact that it always ends up blowing up in the faces of the cheaters is a nice consolation though. We reap what we sow.


There is no honor in this or any other lifestyle. Honor emanates from the person, not the setting.




KatyLied -> RE: Cheating, Lying Kinksters (1/23/2008 8:18:11 AM)

quote:

then you don't really wear a collar from him.


I'm sure her neck would disagree.  Sheesh.




beargonewild -> RE: Cheating, Lying Kinksters (1/23/2008 8:51:40 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Maestro66babycak

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl


WE have and always will have an online relationship solely until death do us part!

am i cheating on my fiancé - NO and you can verbally ask him if you want - message me if you want to ask yourself

am i cheating on Daddy - NO

your assumptions and opinions if you think i am


Oh, your relationship with Daddy is only online.... then you don't really wear a collar from him... it isn't real.... you simply have affection for him as a father figure.... well why didn't you say that in the first place?
Is your fiance' an online engagement as well?
Hehehe, just joking ....


If this is the case, then online friendships with people we haven't had a chance to meet in real life are also not real?
*smirk* just kidding........maybe.




beargonewild -> RE: Cheating, Lying Kinksters (1/23/2008 8:58:44 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

But now, to get back to my original question, which I may not have worded very well; Is anyone else insulted when others come here and assume that we will condone any type of behavior even when it is destructive, and goes against the usual dynamic of trust and communication, just because we're 'kinky'?

~ Christina


Wouldn't say I'd be insulted, I'd be more irritated at the person making an unfounded assumption. I feel that the kink is being used as a convenient target for their condemnation of people who cheat on their S/O.
Even kinksters have their own limits on what they perceive as appropriate and inappropriate behavior.




DisenchantedLife -> RE: Cheating, Lying Kinksters (1/23/2008 9:01:38 AM)

 From some one that was cheated on several times during the course of a relationship - by nillas, subs, Dommes and god knows what else.............. I can with good experience say a cheater really isn't a Dom.  A Dom must control themselves first, aye?  How can you expect a Dom to be able to lead and steer you in the right direction if he can't even keep his wee wee in his pants?  How can he control you?  How can you LET him control you if you can't trust him? 

So, Say, X has a wife that he hasn't told - but he's a dern good Dom.... are you really going to trust this man.  Trust his commands?  Trust him to do "right" by you?  Doesn't look like he's got any good practice at doing the "right" thing.  So would you really feel comfortable letting him tie you up out in the woods to a big tree and  ::cough::  hope nothing bad happens?  Never know, he could just leave your ass... its not like he's got any experience at doing the right thing.

imo if he hasn't even mastered the basic concept of honesty, he's not trustworthy and not a good potetional partner.
same goes for her




roland23 -> RE: Cheating, Lying Kinksters (1/23/2008 9:25:19 AM)

How dare you imply that some of us are new to the scene! Look my first marriage and countless relationships have failed because they were not into BDSM. When I separated BDSM from my more traditional relationships, life became sweet.

What happens in the motel room, stays in the motel room!




MasterRoad -> RE: Cheating, Lying Kinksters (1/23/2008 9:57:29 AM)

Agreed. Although Honor should be a part of this Lifestyle, too often it is not. Honor should be a part of life in general. My point being though that when we are looked upon as we are by most of the vanilla world, we have a responsiblity to ourselves and others to live as honorably as possible. Then again, that should be life in general. We should all live with Honor and honesty, it is a shame that so many are incapable.


quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterRoad

I agree completely. Those who would cheat on a spouse are a disgrace to the honor of the Lifestyle. I know of one on here who is married, afraid to tell the little wifey that he wants to play, and is messing around withthe live in g/f of someone he calls a "friend". The irony is that this clown doesn't even know that his little plaything is playing with his friend there in the area as well as playing on the web. The sad part is that this is going on and others are being hurt by it all, even those who aren't living with these two.

I guess the fact that it always ends up blowing up in the faces of the cheaters is a nice consolation though. We reap what we sow.


There is no honor in this or any other lifestyle. Honor emanates from the person, not the setting.




lronitulstahp -> RE: Cheating, Lying Kinksters (1/23/2008 10:04:59 AM)

[image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m21.gif[/image]
quote:

What happens in the motel room, stays in the motel room!  
uhh...i sure hope that's not your signature...(picturing seedy MOTEL furniture and bedding ...eww!)...and god forbid some little buggies follow you home from the "motel room" your secret is out chief!




celticlord2112 -> RE: Cheating, Lying Kinksters (1/23/2008 11:16:37 AM)

quote:

Agreed. Although Honor should be a part of this Lifestyle, too often it is not. Honor should be a part of life in general. My point being though that when we are looked upon as we are by most of the vanilla world, we have a responsiblity to ourselves and others to live as honorably as possible. Then again, that should be life in general. We should all live with Honor and honesty, it is a shame that so many are incapable.


I disagree with the bolded statement you made.  I agree I have a duty of care to myself, and within that duty I personally define a duty of care towards my slave; my honor and my integrity derive from living in accordance with such principles as I articulate for myself.  I have no duty towards anyone else in or out of the lifestyle to conduct my affairs according to some nebulous concept of "honor".

I am not an ambassador of kink to the vanilla world, nor do I wish to be.  Anyone seeking to impress that role upon me is going to be severely disappointed.






roland23 -> RE: Cheating, Lying Kinksters (1/23/2008 11:45:53 AM)

Don't worry, the motels are pretty nice these days. By the way, since this is a diatribe directed toward cheating, lying kinksters, let's not forget the multitudes of subs who are out there trolling online when they are owned! 




quinnny -> RE: Cheating, Lying Kinksters (1/23/2008 12:06:35 PM)

Ahhhhh I always love hearing from the narrow-minded, judgemental, inflexible, people that try to force their lifestyle choices on everyone. Nope, not talking about the evangenicals at the core of the conservative movement. I'm talking about the people here.

Frankly, if you're here to condemn people for their lifestyle choices, F______ off.
If you're here to take moral stands about others lives, F______ off.
If you're here to judge others while standing in your nice comfortable shoes, F________ off.
If you're just trash that need to step on other people so that SOMEONE is lower than you in the natural order, F_______ off.

But most of all, if you are now a DOMINANT (aka the only one who knows shit) because your wife or husband ran off with someone else, F________off.








MasterRoad -> RE: Cheating, Lying Kinksters (1/23/2008 12:46:20 PM)

From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honor

Honour or honor (see spelling differences), is the evaluation of a person’s trustworthiness and social status based on that individual's espousals and actions. Honour is deemed exactly what determines a person's character: whether or not the person reflects honesty, respect, integrity, or fairness. Accordingly, individuals are assigned worth and stature based on the harmony of their actions, code of honour, and that of the society at large. Honour can be analysed as a relativistic concept, i.e., conflicts between individuals and even cultures arising as a consequence of material circumstance and ambition, rather than fundamental differences in principle. Alternatively, it can be viewed as nativist — that honour is as real to the human condition as love, and likewise derives from the formative personal bonds that establish one's personal dignity and character.

From http://www.m-w.com/cgi-bin/dictionary?book=Dictionary&va=honor

Main Entry:
1hon·or 
Pronunciation:
\ˈä-nər\
Function:
noun
Etymology:
Middle English, from Anglo-French onur, honur, from Latin honos, honor
Date:
13th century
1 a: good name or public esteem : reputation b: a showing of usually merited respect : recognition <pay honor to our founder>2: privilege <had the honor of joining the captain for dinner>3: a person of superior standing —now used especially as a title for a holder of high office <if Your Honor please>4: one whose worth brings respect or fame : credit <an honor to the profession>5: the center point of the upper half of an armorial escutcheon6: an evidence or symbol of distinction: as a: an exalted title or rank b (1): badge decoration (2): a ceremonial rite or observance <buried with full military honors> c: an award in a contest or field of competition darchaic : a gesture of deference : bow eplural (1): an academic distinction conferred on a superior student (2): a course of study for superior students supplementing or replacing a regular course7: chastity purity <fought fiercely for her honor and her life — Barton Black>8 a: a keen sense of ethical conduct : integrity <wouldn't do it as a matter of honor> b: one's word given as a guarantee of performance <on my honor, I will be there>9plural : social courtesies or civilities extended by a host <asked her to do the honors>10 a (1): an ace, king, queen, jack, or ten especially of the trump suit in bridge (2): the scoring value of honors held in bridge —usually used in plural b: the privilege of playing first from the tee in golfsynonyms honor homage reverence deference mean respect and esteem shown to another. honor may apply to the recognition of one's right to great respect or to any expression of such recognition <the nomination is an honor>. homage adds the implication of accompanying praise <paying homage to Shakespeare>. reverence implies profound respect mingled with love, devotion, or awe <great reverence for my father>. deference implies a yielding or submitting to another's judgment or preference out of respect or reverence <showed no deference to their elders>.synonyms see in addition honesty





celticlord2112 -> RE: Cheating, Lying Kinksters (1/23/2008 2:45:24 PM)

And the purpose of these definitions is.....what?  As justification for expecting everyone to hew to some monolithic and arbitrary code of conduct, they fail to persuade.






quinnny -> RE: Cheating, Lying Kinksters (1/23/2008 2:50:08 PM)

Good copy paste job.

Honor is a relative term. Your definition of honor cannot be imposed on everyone. In fact, honorable behavior changes from society to society in todays world. I submit that in some cultures you are could be considered completely without honor and a danger to society. You are quite privileged to live in a relatively free society where fringe behaviors are tolerated...although you could be perceived as a danger in lots of places in this country. Hell, I've known of bars where bikers weren't wecome and would get their asses kicked for just parking out front.

Back to the "relatively free society where fringe behaviors are tolerated". You should think about getting with the whole free society program and stop judging others who don't live to your definitions. How does it go?  "Judge not lest ye shall be judged"




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