RE: Cheating, Lying Kinksters

RE: Cheating, Lying Kinksters (Full Version)

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roland23 -> RE: Cheating, Lying Kinksters (1/24/2008 9:01:04 AM)
I was only saying that it is most hypocritical to criticize "cheating, lying kinksters" without mentioning the multitudes online.

Viridana -> RE: Cheating, Lying Kinksters (1/24/2008 10:15:15 AM)
I'd never participate in play with someone who's cheating. I can come up with tons of reasons why. But there's really only one reason that matters the most: I don't do non-consensual play. When someone is cheating on their spouse, the spouse is a non-consensual player in that game.

Leatherist -> RE: Cheating, Lying Kinksters (1/24/2008 10:22:07 AM)
Geez, now isn't the Masterdomsirlordofall supposed to be able to do whatever he wants to? What happned to "The story of O"? [sm=biggrin.gif]

SubbieOnWheels -> RE: Cheating, Lying Kinksters (1/24/2008 10:45:15 AM)
Gee, I thought the OP was saying that it appears that a lot of people seem to think that just because we're kinky we are by definition ready to play with anybody and everybody who asks us to, no matter their matrimonial (or otherwise) status. I have seen profiles of people (Dom and sub alike) that say they're married and want a discreet relationship. That's their choice, and I don't judge them for it. I don't point out splinters when I may have a log in my own eye. But I don't contact those people seeking a relationship, as I respect the bond they have created with their SO - whatever that bond is. That is my choice, and if I expect others to honor (oh, gawd, that word!) my choice, I feel that I should not criticize theirs.

MasterRoad -> RE: Cheating, Lying Kinksters (7/23/2008 3:13:43 PM)
Christina, I just re-read what you had posted and it brought back all the frustrations of why I got involved in this thread in the first place. This thread seemed to end abruptly and that's a shame. It is a pity when our Lifestyle is disgraced by those who would misuse it as a means of cheating on their spouse, the one person they swore to forsake all others for... personally, I would like to see all of these posers publicly exposed for who and what they are and then horsewhipped for being the disgrace they are. Honor is a lost virtue. This Lifestyle demands it. Without it, the elements which formulate our way of life lose it's meaning. How Dominant can a person be when they have to sneak around like a snake in the grass to play "Dom" behind the back of that one person they profess to "love"? My definition of married, for those that don't understand. Even though I am not married myself, I do understand the meaning of the word and what it should mean to be married. Google the word and it may help out the few that fail to recognize themselves as being married. You have a piece of paper around somewhere called a marriage certificate. It has all sorts of things on it from names and dates. It's a legal document and you have to get a thing called a divorce, which is generally very costly to men, before the marriage is ended. Too Me married is married and perhaps your wife doesn't understand you or do it for you in the bedroom. BUT you married her. Deal with it. If you aren't happy, be an adult and either fix it or fuck it, but don't be a puss about it. Either make it work or get that expensive little thing called a divorce and pay the consequenses for your errors. If you have never heard the phrase before, we have a saying about Safe, Sane, and Consentual. If you are cheating on your spouse or significant other, it is NOT consentual. They are a part of your life, like it or not, and they did not give you their consent to run around making an ass of yourself. For those cheaters let Me state this one thing... Grow up and live life as an horoable human being or get the fuck out.

xxblushesxx -> RE: Cheating, Lying Kinksters (7/23/2008 4:39:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SubbieOnWheels Gee, I thought the OP was saying that it appears that a lot of people seem to think that just because we're kinky we are by definition ready to play with anybody and everybody who asks us to, no matter their matrimonial (or otherwise) status. This is exactly what I was attempting to convey.

softness -> RE: Cheating, Lying Kinksters (7/23/2008 4:46:37 PM)
you say all those things like they are bad! joke ... joke

Prinsexx -> RE: Cheating, Lying Kinksters (7/23/2008 4:46:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx quote: ORIGINAL: SubbieOnWheels Gee, I thought the OP was saying that it appears that a lot of people seem to think that just because we're kinky we are by definition ready to play with anybody and everybody who asks us to, no matter their matrimonial (or otherwise) status. This is exactly what I was attempting to convey. Dear xxblushesxx i thought it would change artound here when i made it obvious i was owned...but no...i still get requests for chat and pics.....it just happened this minute. it's a strange old world.....

LadyPact -> RE: Cheating, Lying Kinksters (7/23/2008 5:11:28 PM)
It absolutely boggles My own mind that I am not already on this thread. I say this just about every time this topic, or things related to it come up. To start, I'm a married Domme with a married submissive. I'm not cheating on My husband, nor am I lying to anybody. I do happen to be poly. More specifically "O" type poly. That means that everybody involved knows about everybody else. Yes, we've all met. My husband and My submissive have both spent time with Me in My home and all sorts of other places. I can't tell you how often My sub has sat at My feet with My husband in the same room. I have My own set of moral standards. Not everyone else is going to live up to them. I'm sure they have standards of their own. Yes, I would hope to think that, for most people, telling the truth would rank in there somewhere. Sadly, it doesn't always.

DChammer -> RE: Cheating, Lying Kinksters (7/23/2008 6:19:41 PM)
Hah.. I remember this neat thread! My only advice is not to judge. A lot of people do things that other folks find reprehensible, it doesn't make it wrong. Some things that "other" people find reprehensible Cheating on a married spouse Cheating on a significant other Being Gay Being not white Listening to NSYNC Having a fetish Being involved in the BDSM lifestyle Being kinky Not washing hands after using the bathroom Driving a SUV Voting Republican in the past Voting Replubican still Wearing the American flag on your tie Drinking beer Smoking Smoking pot Doing drugs Cheating on a test Lying Screwing over a client Driving drunk Eating Meat Supporting the Earth First Supporting the Swift Boaters Beating their kids, dog, wife Falsifying tax returns Don't use a signal when changing lanes Eating stewed monkey brains Believing that America should get over 911 Believing that we should bomb the hell out of Iran Watching reality shows Not realizing that our current belief in one God will come to an end after we find life outside of the earth Not really caring about Baseball Not understanding what TBDITL stands for and realing it is true Thinking that sex education should only include discussion about abstinence Why throw stones, when you yourself live in a glass house !

LadyPact -> RE: Cheating, Lying Kinksters (7/23/2008 6:28:40 PM)
Sorry, but I'm not yet willing to put either lying or cheating on the same as not using the turn signal when changing lanes. I see lots of that living here in GA.

musikman1 -> RE: Cheating, Lying Kinksters (7/23/2008 6:53:05 PM)
I suppose that I'm in the "cheaters" side of the equation. Married, 29 years. Love the wife. NOT looking for a "replacement." Submission is something that helps to fulfill me. I have tried to attract the wife to this side of the fence, but she is adamant that she would like neither Dominant or submissive positions. I purchase a strap-on for her, she says she's embarrassed to try it on. Vibrator? No, it feels so "strange." Tie her up? No, it would terrify her to be immobile. Tie ME up? No, it would be uncomfortable for her. However, in every other aspect of our lives, she's a GREAT mate. She's my best friend, one that I can confide in (yes, even about my desires in the lifestyle, we've logged MANY MANY hours here), a wonderful person, VERY sexual, just "guy on top" type stuff, she simply has NO interest in BDSM in any incarnation. It took me eight years to locate a Domme that had complimentary interests to mine. Our first discussion concerned the marriage issue. She's not looking for a mate, she enjoys subs that like to play. I'm not looking for a mate, I enjoy Dommes that like to play. In a year of contact, I have yet to have (or come close to) a single orgasm. That's not my goal, although I do enjoy (err, hate, just hate??) being "forced" to submit to all sorts of activities. Do I tell my wife of my extracurricular activities? No, but if she REALLY wanted the information, I would NOT lie to her. Meanwhile, she tossed out all of the toys I had tried to introduce her to, she didn't feel comfortable having them around the house. I'm not sure if the "cheater should burn" crowd would say it would be proper for me to just throw out the 29 years with my favorite friend in order to participate in BDSM activities, in order to be "pure." But it's a situation that works well for me, my Domme (who IS free to come over for supper anytime, or call and chat when She likes). I consider the BDSM relationship one of very good friends that share an interest. I don't share several interests with my wife, she can go camping with friends (male and female), play softball and other activities that don't interest me, BUT I would never insist that she go without just because I'm not interested.. What if the wife decided she wanted to see what actually goes on in a BDSM setting? Oh-mi-gawd, I would be riding on a cloud and be GLAD to bring her along!! Hell hath not frozen over YET, but one can always hope. I've even asked her just to talk witha few folks over the phone for ideas, but she just "shivers" with that, "oh, no, I'd never...." You may like me, you may loathe me, that's ok. It's a part of MY makeup that works for me. Would I PREFER to have my wife along..? HELL YES! And I will keep trying, but in the meantime.. There's nothing I'd love better than to have my Domme "train" my wife to let loose and have some fun, but until/if that happens, I'm not unhappy with my situation. So, there's a view from my angle, your mileage may differ.

LadyPact -> RE: Cheating, Lying Kinksters (7/23/2008 8:54:58 PM)
This is a separate issue entirely, but I have to tell you something. Buying your wife a strap-on, when she has no interest in it, is not a gift for her. It's a gift for you.

MasterRoad -> RE: Cheating, Lying Kinksters (7/23/2008 8:57:52 PM)
Quote: "To start, I'm a married Domme with a married submissive. I'm not cheating on My husband, nor am I lying to anybody. I do happen to be poly. More specifically "O" type poly. That means that everybody involved knows about everybody else. Yes, we've all met. My husband and My submissive have both spent time with Me in My home and all sorts of other places. I can't tell you how often My sub has sat at My feet with My husband in the same room." Then I would say that you still fall into the "C" of Safe Sane and Consentual and I congratulate you on that. My point being though that so many use this Lifestyle as a means to sneak around cheating on their spouse, significant other, goat, whatever be hind their back. (I hope that goat really doesnt apply to anyone but I am sure it does somewhere - lol) To be in an Open or Poly relationship where everyone involved knows what's going on is one thing, to sneak around lying and cheating though is wrong and dishonorable.

MasterRoad -> RE: Cheating, Lying Kinksters (7/23/2008 9:02:20 PM)
but maybe he wants it used on him? ROTFLMAO

MasterRoad -> RE: Cheating, Lying Kinksters (7/23/2008 9:07:17 PM)
If I am reading your post correctly, your wife is aware of your activities, please see My reply toLadyPact. If this is the case, I applaud your efforts there and your at least being honest enough to tell her about it rather than being dishonorable and sneaking around. My issue is with those who sneak around with no conscience or sense of honor.

MasterRoad -> RE: Cheating, Lying Kinksters (7/23/2008 9:11:36 PM)
MY GOD!!! Someone would vote republican??? Horsewhip that SOB. LOL My whole issue though is about being honest and honorable and misusing the Lifestyle as a means of cheating. No one has the right to risk hurt to another that they claim to 'love' like that. And what's wrong with stewed monkey brains?[8D]

SurrenderForMe -> RE: Cheating, Lying Kinksters (7/23/2008 10:10:40 PM)
I haven't seen any change. There have always been a decent percentage of people who come to the scene to cheat and use all kinds of lame excuses for why. As a domme, I politely tell them to go away. It is on my profile as something I am not interested in. I don't care why, it is lying and breaking promises. I won't associate with them.

seababy -> RE: Cheating, Lying Kinksters (7/24/2008 3:12:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl quote: ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx Do you, as a sub, want to give yourself to a Dom who is such a coward he can't tell his wife what his fantasies are, AND that you even exist? been there ...done that and won't do it again. i had 2 formers who had no qualms cheating on their wives (1 even had a "stable" of others if i wasn't available). however i have met doms here who are married (and they proudly state that in their profile) openly searching for that submissive. i know i'm going to get flamed for this - but why in hell stay married if you're openly cheating on your spouse? i know the old saying "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free" yet to me, no matter if you have an open marriage and understanding spouse - cheating is still cheating. I wouldn't have a problem with being part of a stable poly household. I wouldn't see that as cheating.

BKSir -> RE: Cheating, Lying Kinksters (7/24/2008 3:34:29 AM)
Bah! I'm in a poly relationship. I have a pet as well as two partners. That does NOT give me the right to cheat and lie about it. If anything, it makes me even more responsible NOT to do so. I have three people who love me very much, and about whom I feel the same. If I were to do something to jeopardize that and hurt them, I would have lost any honour and right to forgive myself. One of my partners has a partner as well, and knows the same thing. In my household, IF one cheats, and they goddamned well better not, but if they do, they WILL be safe and they WILL tell the truth. This is not negotiable. Ever. Even after thirteen years with my primary partner, he knows that if he cheats and I find out from another source, it is over. I will not forgive. Chances of that are good even if he is honest, but, at least he stands a small chance of being able to repair it. I am, however, not a hypocrite. I hold myself to the same standard. It just will not happen from me, period. My pet knows though, that he is allowed to seek sexual comforts outside the house if he desires, as long as he is safe and honest about it, and I approve of the person. Thusfar I've not had to even deal with that issue though. I'm glad too. The thought of someone outside of my household even touching my pet sickens and angers me. He is mine and my familys. It's not easy sometimes, but, these are some of the core rules here, and that's just how it is. There is only one rule that holds an equally inforgivable status, and that's drug use. If they come into my house, they leave immediately and permanently, as does the person who brought them in.

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