Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Dominance With No Room For Submission


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Dominance With No Room For Submission Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Dominance With No Room For Submission - 1/12/2008 3:17:50 AM   
touchofeuphoria


Posts: 33
Joined: 1/4/2008
Status: offline 		I've heard mistresses claim there's not a submissive bone in their body. This question applies to you. Is there even just one person that you can think of that, that you'd submit to? ..maybe the person who trained you in the first place?

< Message edited by touchofeuphoria -- 1/12/2008 3:18:37 AM >

_____________________________

MidPulse Web Hosting
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Dominance With No Room For Submission - 1/12/2008 4:29:44 AM   
LadyHathor


Posts: 775
Joined: 1/2/2008
Status: offline 		For Me, the answer is simple, No, there is no submission in My soul.
 
I was not trained--I was---
 
 then I came to be.

_____________________________

Lady Hathor, I am the Mistress Hathor of Orleans, I am what I am, often to the dismay and discomfort of others.

(in reply to touchofeuphoria)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Dominance With No Room For Submission - 1/12/2008 5:09:59 AM   
MsSavra


Posts: 29
Joined: 12/16/2004
Status: offline 		Yes, there was a person, who introduced me to the concept of D/s as something that people can live in reality (as opposed to just dream about like I had done for years). I learned - and grew - and outgrew!

(in reply to LadyHathor)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Dominance With No Room For Submission - 1/12/2008 5:19:02 AM   
DianeB269


Posts: 1596
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline 		Tried to be a bottom once, it lasted 5 minutes..


Diane

(in reply to touchofeuphoria)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Dominance With No Room For Submission - 1/12/2008 5:23:28 AM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHathor

For Me, the answer is simple, No, there is no submission in My soul.
 
I was not trained--I was---
 
 then I came to be.


What She said <s>

_____________________________





(in reply to LadyHathor)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Dominance With No Room For Submission - 1/12/2008 5:23:57 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Trying to find the best way to word my thoughts so that they make sense.

I've never felt submissive, I did my best to try and BE a nice well behaved vanilla type submissive woman, but I was playing a role and very miserable.

There are very few people that I want to actively dominate yet none that make me want to submit. This does not mean I cannot be kind and respectful, or give credit to those with more knowledge than I, or to accept that there will be people with more authortity in many given situations. To fight that within myself would not be dominance it would be ignorance.

I am very assertive in my life outside of a M/s relationship, but that is not dominance. I know many submissives and slaves that are strong and assertive in the bulk of their life activities.

Perhaps I am the oddball in that I just don't feel the need to try and prove anything, to assert my dominance with people, that it just purely does not matter. Let's be honest, the only people it should really matter with, are those we are in that type of relationship with. All the rest is just additional fluff.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to touchofeuphoria)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Dominance With No Room For Submission - 1/12/2008 6:11:53 AM   
AtlantaMistress


Posts: 276
Joined: 6/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse


quote:

Perhaps I am the oddball in that I just don't feel the need to try and prove anything, to assert my dominance with people, that it just purely does not matter. Let's be honest, the only people it should really matter with, are those we are in that type of relationship with. All the rest is just additional fluff.



Kudos! Always these needs for labels, categories, generalizations. I think just like the Kinsey scale, there is no Black and White, yet many shades of gray. However, at the end of the day, the only person's opinion that matters is my own. I think the relationships with each person are totally unique and although a person may have Dominant or submissive tendancies, who we are depends on the dynamics of the individual relationship in question. That said - hell no, I still won't submit

_____________________________

Mistress Sandy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'd rather be hated for something I am than loved for something I am not.


(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Dominance With No Room For Submission - 1/12/2008 6:32:29 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: touchofeuphoria

I've heard mistresses claim there's not a submissive bone in their body. This question applies to you. Is there even just one person that you can think of that, that you'd submit to? ..maybe the person who trained you in the first place?


No.

I used an apprenticeship model of learning about BDSM. I observed and spoke to more experienced people who had skills I wanted to learn and learned from them one at a time. I never had a single mentor though I have been asked to mentor others and have -- I always encouraged those new tops to learn from a range of people frankly.

I did try the sub thing twice and each time the person who was supposed to be giving me a taste of that was too freaked out by the vibes I was giving off to do anything. The vibes weren't purposely just simply a reflection of me and my past.

Now that's in terms of BDSM.

In meatlife everyone of us must bend and be flexible in order to survive. I can't say I was always thrilled with being a student but if I wanted to get a PhD and later a tenure track job I had to work within that established system. The ability to do that however does not reflect what we choose to do or desire to do in our private lives.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to touchofeuphoria)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Dominance With No Room For Submission - 1/12/2008 6:37:07 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Perhaps I am the oddball in that I just don't feel the need to try and prove anything, to assert my dominance with people, that it just purely does not matter. Let's be honest, the only people it should really matter with, are those we are in that type of relationship with. All the rest is just additional fluff.


No, I'd say this isn't odd, this is a sign of naturalness.

If one's innate personality matches ones scene role I don't think there is a need to demonstrate anything. It simply flows.

I think a lot of new people believe that being dominant is the same as being a bully or being domineering or being a control freak or being uncaring. Perhaps it's based on porn, perhaps it's based on early partners who used the ideas of BDSM to mask their own abusiveness and role-playing.

I was really trying to play by the rules at my interviews last weekend and I do well because I'm getting invites to campuses now but I just couldn't play the "answer the questions" role only. I had questions of my own to ask, I had experiences to share, and philosophies to discuss. I wasn't trying to show I can/will be a leader, I simply am.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Dominance With No Room For Submission - 1/12/2008 8:59:49 AM   
MistressFaye1


Posts: 276
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline 		Sung to the tune of that old Lay's potato chips commercial:

I tried, I just couldn't do it!  I tried, I just couldn't do it!  I can't submit to one!
I love the shades of dominance, shades of dominance!

Ms. Faye

_____________________________

You can put away your masquerade
You won't ever have to be afraid of Me
Open up your eyes and see what is in store
I must the One that you are searching for.

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Dominance With No Room For Submission - 1/12/2008 9:05:10 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Nope.  And I am the only daughter of an only daughter in an ethnic household, so I DO understand what it is to serve.

I am also able to separate "bottoming" from "submission"----I haven't bottomed in years, but I do like certain kinds of sensation play, and I can enjoy them  without feeling anything remotely like submission.  I also love to be tied!  Again, I never feel out of control of the situation.

And though I had several exceptional teachers on my path, and continue to learn, I was never "trained" to be a dominant. 

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to MistressFaye1)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Dominance With No Room For Submission - 1/12/2008 11:03:18 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		No I do not have a submissive personality at all. There is no one who's feet I wish to kneel at. I trained myself as a Mistress by reading and by trial and error. I enjoy my Dominance and it is who I am.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to touchofeuphoria)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Dominance With No Room For Submission - 1/12/2008 11:26:27 AM   
ItalianSMistress


Posts: 427
Joined: 1/19/2007
From: Niagara Region Ontario Canada
Status: offline 		I could not even think of trying to submit to someone else, omg, what a mess that would be.  I was never trained, I learned with My first slave, by trial and error also.  I have been and will always be aggresssive and dominant, even as a child. 

_____________________________

Governess

"Dominance is the ability to create a hunger in someone that's so strong they will do anything, anytime, anywhere just to please you."


http://italianmistress.livejournal.com/


(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Dominance With No Room For Submission - 1/12/2008 1:28:26 PM   
Kaiynasha


Posts: 172
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline 		No.

MK

_____________________________

"Intimacy is based on shared vulnerability...nothing deepens intimacy
like the experiences that we share when we feel flayed, with our skins
off, scared and vulnerable, and our partner is there with us, willing
to share in the scary stuff"

(in reply to ItalianSMistress)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Dominance With No Room For Submission - 1/13/2008 11:04:24 AM   
TexasMaam


Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline 		I submit to my boss every day at the office.
Every day, I make that conscious choice to do so for my own betterment, because he's a great boss.
It helps that he's a real subbie at heart and does everything I ask of him.

; )

TM

_____________________________

~ My opinions are not necessarily those of the management... ~

(in reply to touchofeuphoria)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Dominance With No Room For Submission - 1/13/2008 11:13:09 AM   
MistressNoName


Posts: 664
Joined: 10/26/2006
Status: offline
quote:

Is there even just one person that you can think of that, that you'd submit to?


No. There are people I would gladly bottom to for flogging play only, but I do not consider that to be the same as submission. I did the submissive thing. When I first came out it was as submissive. It did not work for me. Still, I believe that humans are much more dynamic and fluid then some of their words seem to be. But, that's just my personal opinion, not a statement based on any empirical research.

MNN

_____________________________

aka Ms Petal - Check Me out on the Web.

(in reply to touchofeuphoria)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Dominance With No Room For Submission - 1/13/2008 11:21:37 AM   
MissJana


Posts: 112
Joined: 6/10/2007
Status: offline 		I am a Domme but I did start out as a submissive (HAH not a very submissive one LOL) I was actually more of a SAM. I will still bottom on ocassion to a trusted friend for sensation play (I LOVE flogging and violet wand), but I would laugh at someone if they tried to treat me like a slave.
Ms Jana

(in reply to touchofeuphoria)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Dominance With No Room For Submission - 1/13/2008 1:46:49 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline 		yup.. I'd submit to my long time slave.. but then.. it's just not in me.  But if I HAD to pick someone..it would be him. 

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to touchofeuphoria)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Dominance With No Room For Submission - 1/13/2008 2:37:53 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Lifestyle-wise, no.  

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Dominance With No Room For Submission - 1/13/2008 2:48:44 PM   
littlesarbonn


Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DianeB269

Tried to be a bottom once, it lasted 5 minutes..


Diane


Same thing happened with me and sex.

Oh wait, was I thinking out loud again???


_____________________________

<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me


http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

(in reply to DianeB269)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Dominance With No Room For Submission Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.109