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RE: The difference... - 1/12/2008 2:14:40 PM   
kinkypuppy2


Posts: 345
Joined: 11/4/2007
Status: offline 		Good way of putting it.
Anyone can be a "Dom" just by calling themselves that. The term "Master" is earned and given 

_____________________________

See nic "Kinkypupper" also as "slvseeker" As I cannot reply to any posts or log into collarchat under that name I had to create this profile.

(in reply to MRandme)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: The difference... - 1/12/2008 2:58:01 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kinkypuppy2

Good way of putting it. Anyone can be a "Dom" just by calling themselves that. The term "Master" is earned and given 


Begging your pardon... WHAT???  Earned and given??  Okay, I just knew it!  I KNEW there was this big club that nobody was letting me know about, and NOW you tell me they give titles.  What is it gonna be next?  Trophies??  Yep, they're giving out trophies, aren't they??

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to kinkypuppy2)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: The difference... - 1/12/2008 3:25:41 PM   
SageFemmexx


Posts: 240
Joined: 1/2/2007
Status: offline 		lol, see Cali, you missssed it! The trophy ceremony!

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: The difference... - 1/12/2008 3:54:26 PM   
girlygurl


Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: kinkypuppy2

Good way of putting it. Anyone can be a "Dom" just by calling themselves that. The term "Master" is earned and given 


Begging your pardon... WHAT???  Earned and given??  Okay, I just knew it!  I KNEW there was this big club that nobody was letting me know about, and NOW you tell me they give titles.  What is it gonna be next?  Trophies??  Yep, they're giving out trophies, aren't they??

Cali



Cali~ They get a badge and learn the secret handshake, yep, that's what defines them alright.

girly

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: The difference... - 1/12/2008 4:08:31 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

Anyone can be a "Dom" just by calling themselves that.


That's how I feel about the title "Master". 


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to kinkypuppy2)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: The difference... - 1/12/2008 4:36:23 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kinkypuppy2

Good way of putting it.
Anyone can be a "Dom" just by calling themselves that. The term "Master" is earned and given 


Earned how? Who gives it?

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to kinkypuppy2)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: The difference... - 1/12/2008 5:38:43 PM   
tricia


Posts: 231
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		~FR~

The deliciously flawed, dominant man of my dreams isn't A master -- He is MY master.
I am not A slave -- i'm his slave.  This is our box.  Our labels.  And we are comfortable with them.
 
To the naked eye, he's a dominant man and i'm a submissive woman.  Or Sam and Tricia.  We don't care how others define us.  Nor do we care how others define themselves.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: The difference... - 1/12/2008 5:49:56 PM   
PrincessDonna


Posts: 189
Joined: 7/7/2006
Status: offline 		Who made that rule? I enjoy being Domm and not a "master" and there is not one person that knows me that does not know right away that I am DOMM.I think maybe "Master" is the one I would have to question,there is a huge difference between being DOMM and being a "master"

(in reply to tricia)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: The difference... - 1/12/2008 8:13:03 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kinkypuppy2

Good way of putting it.
Anyone can be a "Dom" just by calling themselves that. The term "Master" is earned and given 


Some people never want that title, even when others try to make it sound so uber cool and all.

My Daddy is just my Daddy... he is also a dom. He has told me on a few occasions that if a submissive or anyone else refers to him as "sir" or "master", he corrects them. He has also corrected them on these boards for doing the same.

He has earned my respect, and you know what, that means more than any so-called title that anyone else would bestow upon him...

And I am wondering, who exactly gives these earned "titles" out? Do they come in cracker jack boxes? Do they come on the slave registry site? Like when one registers their slave, do they get a  Master Card?

Edited to add, the reason why I posted this is because people who seek to inflate themselves with this "you're justa submissive" or "you're justa dom" while they label themselves with being "better" than others... it just screams insecurity to me


< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 1/12/2008 8:15:48 PM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to kinkypuppy2)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: The difference... - 1/12/2008 8:23:12 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

people who seek to inflate themselves with this "you're justa submissive" or "you're justa dom" while they label themselves with being "better" than others... it just screams insecurity to me


I agree.  It's amusing and sort of sad that people insist on a title they feel will identify themselves as superior to others.  It often has the exact opposite effect.


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: The difference... - 1/12/2008 8:26:39 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

people who seek to inflate themselves with this "you're justa submissive" or "you're justa dom" while they label themselves with being "better" than others... it just screams insecurity to me


I agree.  It's amusing and sort of sad that people insist on a title they feel will identify themselves as superior to others.  It often has the exact opposite effect.



Let me introduce myself, I am Princess Julia

Keeper of the Submissive Tower
Giver of the Slave Heart
Founder of the Humility Circle
Holder of the Grovel Medal
Humblest of Submissives
Twuest of the Twue


_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: The difference... - 1/12/2008 9:10:01 PM   
Magma


Posts: 4
Joined: 8/1/2007
Status: offline 		Hello  A/all,

Below is "my" lowest common denominator definition.  These thoughts are highly personal.  Not meant as a conclusive settlement of isness.

Dominant-A person that embodies and actively asserts consensual influence.  Normally it extends beyond sexual activity.  The degree level ranging from moderate to extreme shaping of a co-reality between participants.

Master-one who is a dominant with a greater degree of control and responsibility over one governed.  One that shows  mastery of self (not to be confused with one which is infallible [if such a creature exist]). 

Both are labels.  These labels are used within this sub-culture for points of destination within the mind and heart.  Both have relationships (of varying degrees) with those that fulfill a function that gives meaning to their own.  These polar opposite beings being necessary for the benefit of desired exchange.  The label does not definitively define parameters of being or function. It is useful as a means of effectively communicating intent and function. A title/label that provides mental imagery and emotional substance to one that may become (to varying degrees) dependent on that movement.  This path is a self-determined and self-organized (depth of organization depending on needs, ability to discern fact versus fiction, rational versus irrational risk, etc.).

No one can honestly do another's task by defining or differentiating these points of demarcation.  Whatever you think, whatever supports your kink,  whatever your (self or group) programing will be your reality.  So, you decide what is what. It matters not what anyone else thinks in the end!

Some thoughts for Y/your consideration.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: The difference... - 1/13/2008 12:15:29 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: girlygurl

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

Begging your pardon... WHAT???  Earned and given??  Okay, I just knew it!  I KNEW there was this big club that nobody was letting me know about, and NOW you tell me they give titles.  What is it gonna be next?  Trophies??  Yep, they're giving out trophies, aren't they??

Cali



Cali~ They get a badge and learn the secret handshake, yep, that's what defines them alright.

girly


Well geez girly... so when he told me to reach out my hand with a firm grip and give "this" a few pumps up and down... THAT was the secret handshake???  Who knew??? I think I need more practice.

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to girlygurl)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: The difference... - 1/13/2008 12:29:23 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
Let me introduce myself, I am Princess Julia

Keeper of the Submissive Tower
Giver of the Slave Heart
Founder of the Humility Circle
Holder of the Grovel Medal
Humblest of Submissives
Twuest of the Twue



Oh no you are not! I am way more than humble than you!

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: The difference... - 1/13/2008 12:35:10 AM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

people who seek to inflate themselves with this "you're justa submissive" or "you're justa dom" while they label themselves with being "better" than others... it just screams insecurity to me


I agree.  It's amusing and sort of sad that people insist on a title they feel will identify themselves as superior to others.  It often has the exact opposite effect.



Let me introduce myself, I am Princess Julia

Keeper of the Submissive Tower
Giver of the Slave Heart
Founder of the Humility Circle
Holder of the Grovel Medal
Humblest of Submissives
Twuest of the Twue



Genuflects appropriately and snickers.

OP as you can tell from the responses, there are really no rules or specific agreements as to what titles even mean.  Find someone that is compatible with what you seek in a relationship regardless of title and take online advice with a grain of salt, if it doesn't work for you, don't follow it.  We're all different.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: The difference... - 1/13/2008 4:17:15 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline 		As some people said before, both are Tops.
I don't min so much about the titles, it is how the slave/sub looks at you that makes you the Dominant.

Besides that, Master is the name for Dom in the Goreanlifestyle. Master goes a bit further in his ownership then Dom.
I would make this combination;

Master/slave or kajira
Dom/sub

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: The difference... - 1/13/2008 7:15:00 AM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

As some people said before, both are Tops.


Just because I enjoy picking nits....
 
A Dominant need never engage in a scene in which they are a Top.  I suppose the same can be said for a "Master" depending upon how one chooses to define it (some are said to be "whip Masters" for example).  Their involvement in a power exchange relationship does not require participation in a scene.
 
Similarly, a Top may engage in regular scene activity but never once exchange power or enter into a power exchange relationship.  They may limit themselves exclusively to sensation play.
 
Just some food for thought.
 
John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to Justme696)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: The difference... - 1/13/2008 7:19:11 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

Their involvement in a power exchange relationship does not require participation in a scene.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

As some people said before, both are Tops.


Just because I enjoy picking nits....
 
A Dominant need never engage in a scene in which they are a Top.  I suppose the same can be said for a "Master" depending upon how one chooses to define it (some are said to be "whip Masters" for example).  Their involvement in a power exchange relationship does not require participation in a scene.
 
Similarly, a Top may engage in regular scene activity but never once exchange power or enter into a power exchange relationship.  They may limit themselves exclusively to sensation play.
 
Just some food for thought.
 
John


John

so you add an other option the the question; TOP

So we have the question; "what is the difference between a Top, Dom and a Master?"

Or did I misread your post?

D.

(in reply to Rover)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: The difference... - 1/13/2008 7:50:06 AM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696
so you add an other option the the question; TOP

So we have the question; "what is the difference between a Top, Dom and a Master?"

Or did I misread your post?


Let's use an analogy of a post asking about the difference between trains and planes.  Interjecting automobiles to the discussion isn't relevant to the OP, particularly when one states that planes and trains are just types of automobiles (they clearly are not).
 
Here we have an OP asking the difference between Dominants and Masters.  You introduced Tops to the discussion which isn't relevant to the OP, and stated that they are just types of Dominants/Masters (they clearly are not).
 
N'est pas?
 
John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to Justme696)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: The difference... - 1/13/2008 7:55:04 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline 		I love your French

but Tops was not introduced by me.

But if you explain me why a Master/Dom is not a Top, then we can leave it out. Till then...i think there are 3 options. As you said, they are not the same.


(in reply to Rover)
Profile   Post #: 40
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