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RE: i have never known this to happen to anyone i know,... - 1/12/2008 3:25:54 PM   
cherrypez


Posts: 114
Joined: 12/20/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07

So it is wise after knowing a Dominant for a week or two to turn everythng over to them? That's the question i was asking on another thread. i wasn't in the least refering to people who have long lasting relationships except how i feel about myself doing it.
    I know it happens but if someone enterered into a D/s relationship within a week or two hell even less than 6 months  of knowing  a person, let alone hand over money, I'd say a fool and his money are soon parted and they get exactly what they deserve.  

< Message edited by cherrypez -- 1/12/2008 3:26:32 PM >

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: i have never known this to happen to anyone i know,... - 1/12/2008 3:31:31 PM   
takenbyjohnr07


Posts: 787
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		most of the people that have posted on this thread also posted on the other thread. i was just continuing our conversations.

_____________________________

i am the sole property of Johnr. He is the love of my life and the greatest Owner and i will live to serve and, please him only every day of my life.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
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RE: i have never known this to happen to anyone i know,... - 1/12/2008 3:58:04 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		Fast Reply

Whenever the subject of financial authority comes up it seems that some assume the submissive gives all their money to the dominant and has no access to the funds.  However, that is only one way in which the stucture of financial authority can be set up.

The money that I came into the relationship with or that is earned through a job goes into accounts in my name.  We both have access to this account, but I am the primary account holder.  He exercises his authority by making the decisions on how that money is spent.  Every month I create a budget and he approves it.  At the end of the month I am held accountable for staying within that budget.  He does not need to have the money in his name to know that he has authority over it.

Financial control can have many different structures and before labeling something fantasy based or stupid (as was done in the other thread) I think it more prudent to find out more information than just making blanket judgements based on assumptions.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: i have never known this to happen to anyone i know,... - 1/12/2008 4:04:19 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07

most of the people that have posted on this thread also posted on the other thread. i was just continuing our conversations.


I don't see where you mentioned "a week or two" in that other thread until after you were called on your universal judgement that financial authority was fantasy based and stupid.  Even then you didn't say a week or two you only mentioned a "short time".  Short time is highly subjective.  What would be a short time for one is a long time for someone else.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: i have never known this to happen to anyone i know,... - 1/12/2008 4:45:54 PM   
takenbyjohnr07


Posts: 787
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		A short time means not long enough. The actual minutes and hours have no bearing.

i think you and the OP from the other thread are talking about two different things. You are talking about a Dominant having access to your money. He is talking about controlling it. There are financial slaves who turn over everything and have no access to anything. that they own. That is the type of person i understood him to be talking about.

_____________________________

i am the sole property of Johnr. He is the love of my life and the greatest Owner and i will live to serve and, please him only every day of my life.

(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: i have never known this to happen to anyone i know,... - 1/12/2008 4:47:26 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		Yes a slave who he wouldn't allow to work or handle money ended up with nothing but the suitcase she came with and the clothes in it. She had to have  a friend come pick her up because he felt as a slave she wasnt' entitled to anything. Well that changed when they divorced and she got half of what little they did have. In her late 40's she is having to start over all over again. He was her third husband/Master. I think she learned a very valuable lesson.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: i have never known this to happen to anyone i know,... - 1/12/2008 4:53:30 PM   
takenbyjohnr07


Posts: 787
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		is she ok now?

_____________________________

i am the sole property of Johnr. He is the love of my life and the greatest Owner and i will live to serve and, please him only every day of my life.

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: i have never known this to happen to anyone i know,... - 1/12/2008 5:01:46 PM   
cherrypez


Posts: 114
Joined: 12/20/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07

A short time means not long enough. The actual minutes and hours have no bearing.

A short time means not long enough is still subjective.   It depends on who you ask.   
    

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: i have never known this to happen to anyone i know,... - 1/12/2008 5:11:02 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07

A short time means not long enough. The actual minutes and hours have no bearing.

i think you and the OP from the other thread are talking about two different things. You are talking about a Dominant having access to your money. He is talking about controlling it. There are financial slaves who turn over everything and have no access to anything. that they own. That is the type of person i understood him to be talking about.


LOL  I don't think you have comprehended what I have said at all.  He doesn't just have access to the money (which is his even though my name is on the account).  He completely controls how it is spent.  I don't think Rabbit and I are talking about two different things at all.  I don't make any decisions on how the money is spent; he does.  Whose name on the accounts is irrelevant to who makes the decisions.  He could tell me to deposit it all into his account and it would be done.

Sorry, but your judgement of this is fantasy and stupid just don't fit for everyone and no matter how many qualifiers you attempt to add after the fact will not change that you made assumptions that just are not accurate.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: i have never known this to happen to anyone i know,... - 1/12/2008 5:15:32 PM   
takenbyjohnr07


Posts: 787
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		You are the one who misunderstands. i am refering only to financial slaves that do not have any access to their money and their names are not on the account. i have already established that. So your last post to me makes no sense what so ever, because your situation was never what i was refering to..

_____________________________

i am the sole property of Johnr. He is the love of my life and the greatest Owner and i will live to serve and, please him only every day of my life.

(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: i have never known this to happen to anyone i know,... - 1/12/2008 5:16:07 PM   
MissOchistic


Posts: 315
Joined: 4/30/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I could also point out that leaving someone financially ruined at age under 25 really isn't usually that bad- most of us barely have anything solid and secure before that age anyway.


Too true. Now is the time to be making our mistakes.


_____________________________



"The amount i care for Thee
is more than two, but less than three."

"Submission is a potlatch."

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: i have never known this to happen to anyone i know,... - 1/12/2008 5:18:44 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		She finally found a job because for 5 years she didnt work because he wouldn't allow it. She had to live with her mother because she can't afford to live in her own place. She gets a small monthly amount of alimony from him which he fought paying but the court ordered him too. I think she has learned a few things from the experience, at least I hope so.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: i have never known this to happen to anyone i know,... - 1/12/2008 5:22:09 PM   
takenbyjohnr07


Posts: 787
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		looks like she is on her way. Thanks for sharing.

_____________________________

i am the sole property of Johnr. He is the love of my life and the greatest Owner and i will live to serve and, please him only every day of my life.

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: i have never known this to happen to anyone i know,... - 1/12/2008 5:24:45 PM   
cherrypez


Posts: 114
Joined: 12/20/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07

You are the one who misunderstands. i am refering only to financial slaves that do not have any access to their money and their names are not on the account. i have already established that. So your last post to me makes no sense what so ever, because your situation was never what i was refering to..
I fail to see what difference it would make it the submissive had her name on the account and access to the account or not.    If the Dominant has access to the account he could still in fact take all of the money and leave the submissive in financial ruins.  
     If my Dom requested that I deposit all of my money into an account that was solely in his name, and I had no access to it, I would.   That would not make me a financial slave, in my case it would simply mean that I trusted his judgement for requesting things be done that way.    And I have been in a relationship were my money was deposited into his bank account and I had no access to it.   It still does not make me a financial slave, and it was not a fantasy.   

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: i have never known this to happen to anyone i know,... - 1/12/2008 5:29:37 PM   
takenbyjohnr07


Posts: 787
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		The difference is that when your name is not on a account and you suspect something or desperatley need money for something he won't let you have you are screwed, if your name is on the account you have access to the money that is rightfully yours and can withdraw it any time. .

_____________________________

i am the sole property of Johnr. He is the love of my life and the greatest Owner and i will live to serve and, please him only every day of my life.

(in reply to cherrypez)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: i have never known this to happen to anyone i know,... - 1/12/2008 5:39:09 PM   
cherrypez


Posts: 114
Joined: 12/20/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07

The difference is that when your name is not on a account and you suspect something or desperatley need money for something he won't let you have you are screwed, if your name is on the account you have access to the money that is rightfully yours and can withdraw it any time. .
First of all, if there is trust and a solid foundation in the relationship, I probably would not suspect anything and in a loving relationship if I desperately needed some thing like a box of tampax, he's probably wouldn't tell me no.   Further if my name was on the account and he told me that I was not allowed to withdraw any money even if I needed it, if he said no, I wouldn't do it.  
   I think the point is---that if the relationship has progressed where there is absolutely no question of trust, it doesn't matter if her name is on the account or she has access.   She trusts that he will handle the money well and provide for her needs.   
   If they have only known each other a short time as you suggested (and personally for me a short time would be less than two years when it comes to money) and they have not built that foundation of extreeme trust, and he takes her money or doesn't provide for her, it's her own damn fault for not using common sense.  

< Message edited by cherrypez -- 1/12/2008 5:40:28 PM >

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: i have never known this to happen to anyone i know,... - 1/12/2008 5:45:52 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		I did before I got into debt. I probably could of had 2 thoughsand or so plus dollars by now on top of asavings account of about 3 thoughsand .
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

most of us barely have anything solid and secure before that age anyway.


< Message edited by YourhandMyAss -- 1/12/2008 5:49:55 PM >

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: i have never known this to happen to anyone i know,... - 1/12/2008 5:49:48 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Why don't people simply assess how much risk they can manage before merging their money?  That would be how I would approach it.  I don't have much risk tolerance for financial ruination, so I doubt I would ever enter into a situation where I would combine my money with someone else's.  It has little to do with trusting the other person and a lot to do with wanting to safeguard what I have.  

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: i have never known this to happen to anyone i know,... - 1/12/2008 5:55:20 PM   
takenbyjohnr07


Posts: 787
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		i agree with your last paragraph and everything that you're saying except one thing is left out. If her name is not on the accounts and he dies and she is not legally wed to him. She cannot touch that money,  No matter how good their relationship was.Especially if he is married or has children or family members that will contest the will. She will loose because he had control of everything and she doesn't have money to pay an attorney to pleasd her case..

_____________________________

i am the sole property of Johnr. He is the love of my life and the greatest Owner and i will live to serve and, please him only every day of my life.

(in reply to cherrypez)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: i have never known this to happen to anyone i know,... - 1/12/2008 6:14:32 PM   
cherrypez


Posts: 114
Joined: 12/20/2007
Status: offline 		    If he has a will and leaves the money in that account to her she can get it.   Sure others can contest it but it doesn't mean that the judge will not honor the deceased will.   And one does not need an attorney to contest a will.  
Those are the sort of things a person needs to work out prior to this .

< Message edited by cherrypez -- 1/12/2008 6:15:29 PM >

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 40
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