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About age play.. I`m ashamed to tell Him! :/ - 1/13/2008 11:00:39 AM   
BabyKittyKat


Posts: 42
Joined: 12/8/2007
Status: offline 		Hi! Uhm, sorry to bother you with my stupid question, but you are the only people who I can ask..

Well, we`re 10 months together now. On first place is the love we have for each other, second - the BDSM aspect of our relationship. Since this is the most serious relationship for me ( I know it`s stupid, but we already have plans to be together for.. Hm. Ever? :) ), so I`m really scared about doing something wrong or stupid.

We`re into age play, but nothing referring to incest. Well, our age play games have been wonderful, but I feel I need something more. I really want to tell Him that I want to try the "Daddy thing", but I`m scared He`ll get disappointed by my intentions. Since He`s a psychologist, He has some strange perceptions of such things.. Once we were discussing about "Daddies, etc." (I didn`t tell Him I want to try it) and He said He doesn`t like that kind of stuff, though He hasn`t tried. I don`t know how to tell Him and not feel embarrassed after that... There`s an inner struggle. I really want it! But I`m afraid of His reaction! Please.. Help! :/


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RE: About age play.. I`m ashamed to tell Him! :/ - 1/13/2008 11:08:15 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline 		First, don't appologize for your question. We all have questions and want help.

I am not into age play, so I don't know how people respond to it. I know though that talking to a shrink is difficult ( i had a slave shrink once).
BUT.... you have a good relation...and...you have feelings that soemtime will explode inside you..if you don't tell.
I would tell him anyway...but beware...he can also say no when you tell him...and ofcourse can say..yes.
If you don't tell him....you always will have a no.



(in reply to BabyKittyKat)
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RE: About age play.. I`m ashamed to tell Him! :/ - 1/13/2008 11:17:20 AM   
BabyKittyKat


Posts: 42
Joined: 12/8/2007
Status: offline 		Well, it`s not so much about the "no".. If He doesn`t want it, I can bare with that. But I`m scared what would He think afterwards. And also it won`t be pleasurable for Him to know I have some big desire, and He can`t fulfill it. Lol, I think I`m getting too complicated. Well, less words - more action. I`ll try to tell him. Maybe after a big bottle of beer :D *sigh*

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Babygirl loves her Daddy!

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RE: About age play.. I`m ashamed to tell Him! :/ - 1/13/2008 11:22:27 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		If you allow your fear to control the relationship, then you won't have an honest relationship at all.  Do you want to have a relationship with someone who knows you, or someone you create just to be liked and accepted?

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: About age play.. I`m ashamed to tell Him! :/ - 1/13/2008 11:23:33 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

If you allow your fear to control the relationship, then you won't have an honest relationship at all.  Do you want to have a relationship with someone who knows you, or someone you create just to be liked and accepted?


some people are so good in saying what I mean, thank you

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RE: About age play.. I`m ashamed to tell Him! :/ - 1/13/2008 11:37:13 AM   
BabyKittyKat


Posts: 42
Joined: 12/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

If you allow your fear to control the relationship, then you won't have an honest relationship at all.  Do you want to have a relationship with someone who knows you, or someone you create just to be liked and accepted?


Thanks, I`ll try to be honest :) Hope it works well..




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Babygirl loves her Daddy!

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RE: About age play.. I`m ashamed to tell Him! :/ - 1/13/2008 11:50:38 AM   
takenbyjohnr07


Posts: 787
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		You could leave hints such as a book or video lying around and then when he asks you about it. You could say that it's something you found interesting, then go from there. If he is receptive than continue to have a nice long talk, If he says are you nuts? then you just reply. Well it looked interesting in the store, and then you don't have to be embarrassed. Whatever you do, i wish you the best. i know how hard it can be.

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i am the sole property of Johnr. He is the love of my life and the greatest Owner and i will live to serve and, please him only every day of my life.

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RE: About age play.. I`m ashamed to tell Him! :/ - 1/13/2008 12:17:41 PM   
cherrypez


Posts: 114
Joined: 12/20/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07

You could leave hints such as a book or video lying around and then when he asks you about it. You could say that it's something you found interesting, then go from there. If he is receptive than continue to have a nice long talk, If he says are you nuts? then you just reply. Well it looked interesting in the store, and then you don't have to be embarrassed. Whatever you do, i wish you the best. i know how hard it can be.
IMO this repsonse would be sort of being deceptive.   A kink normally doesn't disappear.   If the OP really wants to experience this type of play, stuffing it inside because is worried about his reaction to might cause some discord at some point.  
   I personally agree with LA, be honest and tell him.   To the OP just because a certain type of play doesn't interest him, doesn't mean that he won't consent to that type of play just to please you.   

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
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RE: About age play.. I`m ashamed to tell Him! :/ - 1/13/2008 12:36:14 PM   
astarri


Posts: 265
Joined: 4/22/2007
Status: offline 		I agree .... there needs to be a good open discussion about it. Be prepared to answer questions about why you might enjoy it ...what aspects about this play is intriguing for you. What are the boundaries? Honest communication will take you where you need to be because that is being true to who you are. 

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RE: About age play.. I`m ashamed to tell Him! :/ - 1/13/2008 12:42:29 PM   
tulitukka


Posts: 95
Joined: 10/11/2007
Status: offline 		I suggest that you do it without beer. Start with telling him about your fear. Then you have no choice but to continue with the matter itself - and it's easier for him to remember to be extra cautious in his reactions.

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RE: About age play.. I`m ashamed to tell Him! :/ - 1/13/2008 12:44:44 PM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tulitukka

I suggest that you do it without beer. Start with telling him about your fear. Then you have no choice but to continue with the matter itself - and it's easier for him to remember to be extra cautious in his reactions.


that is a very good advise.
(and the beer would make it look if it just a game instead of serious...but i think it was a joke)


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RE: About age play.. I`m ashamed to tell Him! :/ - 1/13/2008 12:44:46 PM   
tulitukka


Posts: 95
Joined: 10/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: astarri

I agree .... there needs to be a good open discussion about it. Be prepared to answer questions about why you might enjoy it ...what aspects about this play is intriguing for you. What are the boundaries? Honest communication will take you where you need to be because that is being true to who you are.


Also remember. Answering that you don't know, but wish to understand yourself and it better is a good answer. We don't need to have answers for everything. Neither as submissives, nor as dominants.

(in reply to astarri)
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RE: About age play.. I`m ashamed to tell Him! :/ - 1/13/2008 12:48:53 PM   
astarri


Posts: 265
Joined: 4/22/2007
Status: offline 		Very good point tulitukka. Thank you for pointing that out

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RE: About age play.. I`m ashamed to tell Him! :/ - 1/13/2008 12:50:43 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		Iagree with tulitukka: start by telling him about the fear.
You may be able to figure out what it is about wanting to incorporate a "daddy"  element into your play so that 1)he will understand and 2) the 2 of you will be able to find a compromise to fulfill those needs/wants/desires even if "Daddy" doesn't work for him.

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RE: About age play.. I`m ashamed to tell Him! :/ - 1/13/2008 12:54:21 PM   
MercTech


Posts: 3706
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline 		Tell him what you want and need.  You never know what will happen.

i.e.  When I was married I was trying very hard to be "vanilla".  It turns out my ex wanted other things but never let me know.  She left me and is now led around on a leash at parties.

Be honest with yourself and your partner aboout what you want.

Stefan

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RE: About age play.. I`m ashamed to tell Him! :/ - 1/13/2008 12:54:25 PM   
takenbyjohnr07


Posts: 787
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		That's what she fears the most. Not that he'll say no, but that he'll do it just to please her and he won't like it. To her that is worse then if he just gave her a flat no.

_____________________________

i am the sole property of Johnr. He is the love of my life and the greatest Owner and i will live to serve and, please him only every day of my life.

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RE: About age play.. I`m ashamed to tell Him! :/ - 1/13/2008 12:59:32 PM   
cherrypez


Posts: 114
Joined: 12/20/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07

That's what she fears the most. Not that he'll say no, but that he'll do it just to please her and he won't like it. To her that is worse then if he just gave her a flat no.
Really?   Well shut my mouth---I need to take a reading comprehension course because I didn't see that in her post and I reread it ten times.   

< Message edited by cherrypez -- 1/13/2008 1:00:11 PM >

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
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RE: About age play.. I`m ashamed to tell Him! :/ - 1/13/2008 1:01:22 PM   
GoddessTeaze


Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BabyKittyKat
I really want to tell Him that I want to try the "Daddy thing", but I`m scared He`ll get disappointed by my intentions.

you really do know that no one can answer this question then your Master himself right?
What are you scared off?
He can say alright I'm willing to try, or say No that's not My cuppa T, or even say I will think about it...

If He loves you, which it sounds like, he is ready to listen to you at least right?

Sit Him down hon, and talk about it!
Get it over with !!


Goodluck & Warm Greetingz

GoddezzT`


< Message edited by GoddessTeaze -- 1/13/2008 1:02:52 PM >

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~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

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RE: About age play.. I`m ashamed to tell Him! :/ - 1/13/2008 1:02:00 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

If you allow your fear to control the relationship, then you won't have an honest relationship at all.  Do you want to have a relationship with someone who knows you, or someone you create just to be liked and accepted?


What she said. You can drop hints all day long, doesn't mean he is going to pick up on them.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: About age play.. I`m ashamed to tell Him! :/ - 1/13/2008 1:02:13 PM   
Elorin


Posts: 970
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline 		I can understand not wanting to tell him, or being afraid to tell him. But don't be ashamed of your desires. Don't be ashamed to tell him the truth, whether he is ever able to fulfill that fantasy for you or not.

And remember, he said he'd never tried it before. If he is willing to give being "Daddy" a go, for you, he may find that where he THOUGHT it would be all bad for him, once he tries it, it works out well for him.

~Elorin, whose Daddy WolfWere is very loving and nurturing

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'cause when i look down /i just miss all the good stuff / when i look up / i just trip over things

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