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Trust and honesty - 1/13/2008 2:41:33 PM   
MasterRoad


Posts: 188
Joined: 1/11/2008
Status: offline 		How would you feel about a Dom who was married wanting a relationship on the side with you and wanting to install software on your computer so that your activities online could be remotely monitored, your files examined, and accessories such as webcam and microphone turned on. To complete the scenario, you are living in a vanilla relationship and are not to let on about the affair.

I am asking because someone I know is in this situation and although she has made her decisions, I am still curious about the responses of others.
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RE: Trust and honesty - 1/13/2008 2:48:16 PM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterRoad

How would you feel about a Dom who was married wanting a relationship on the side with youthis tends to set people off & I hope it doesn't obscure the question and wanting to install software on your computer so that your activities online could be remotely monitored, your files examined, if he fixed stuff for me, then sureand accessories such as webcam and microphone turned on.they're never offTo complete the scenario, you are living in a vanilla relationship and are not to let on about the affair.Beeep that one doesn't apply and turns into something totally nonconsensual for whoever 'you' are married to as well as any family or friends that happen to also ever be in the vicinity. I've been with R for 8 years this Feb and my life is an open (and online) book to him because there is no one else here. I had a roomate for a short bit and it didn't even have to be discussed, the reality that to have a running cam with someone else in the house is wrong.

I am asking because someone I know is in this situation and although she has made her decisions, I am still curious about the responses of others.


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~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).




(in reply to MasterRoad)
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RE: Trust and honesty - 1/13/2008 2:55:44 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterRoad

How would you feel about a Dom who was married wanting a relationship on the side with you and wanting to install software on your computer so that your activities online could be remotely monitored, your files examined, and accessories such as webcam and microphone turned on. To complete the scenario, you are living in a vanilla relationship and are not to let on about the affair.

I am asking because someone I know is in this situation and although she has made her decisions, I am still curious about the responses of others.

It would not matter if it was a Dominant, a submissive, a male, a female or a chimpanzee....I would kick them in the fucking mouth and tell them to get a real life.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to MasterRoad)
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RE: Trust and honesty - 1/13/2008 2:55:48 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		I'd have to take a pass on that one.
He doesn't want much, does he?
*lol*

(in reply to camille65)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Trust and honesty - 1/13/2008 3:09:23 PM   
liminalRapture


Posts: 181
Joined: 9/6/2007
Status: offline 		I can't deal with lies.  Someone who wants me to lie, no matter what, is not someone I could be with.  The rest, I might be OK with, but I'm deeply monogamous, so it would have to be in a context of monogamy, and it would have to be presented as "this is my kink" no "I don't trust you." 

_____________________________

"Ring the bells that can still ring. Forget your perfect offering. There's a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in." Leonard Cohen.

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
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RE: Trust and honesty - 1/13/2008 3:09:39 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterRoad

How would you feel about a Dom who was married wanting a relationship on the side with you and wanting to install software on your computer so that your activities online could be remotely monitored, your files examined, and accessories such as webcam and microphone turned on. To complete the scenario, you are living in a vanilla relationship and are not to let on about the affair.

I am asking because someone I know is in this situation and although she has made her decisions, I am still curious about the responses of others.


All the other reasons I wouldn't be involved in this aside,

I wouldn't do it. If you don't trust me, you don't trust me and you need to find a partner you can trust.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to MasterRoad)
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RE: Trust and honesty - 1/13/2008 3:46:19 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

wanting to install software on your computer so that your activities online could be remotely monitored, your files examined, and accessories such as webcam and microphone turned on


I would never let anyone do that to my computer, not even Hubby.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to MasterRoad)
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RE: Trust and honesty - 1/13/2008 3:57:58 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		I wouldn't much care about the computer part, but he doesn't have time, energy, or desire to monitor things that closely.  Since all of me belongs to him anyway, then my words - typewritten or otherwise - are his to know if he so chooses.  But he wants me to have the freedom to express myself to him and to others without feeling paranoid about it.  I have offered him passwords before, but he didn't want them.

I don't live with him, and he does want my cam and mic on at all times, and he tunes in whenever he wants - day or night.  It was awkward at first, but I have become so accustomed to it that I miss it when it's off .  He tunes in whenever he wants.  I can turn them off when company is over, however, to respect their privacy.  Some of my friends don't care, and tell me to go ahead and keep it on, but I never leave it on without their knowing about it.


(in reply to MasterRoad)
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RE: Trust and honesty - 1/13/2008 4:34:51 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I have no problem with a master who wants to do all of that- if you've decided he owns you, and that's what the ownership entails, then kudos.

The issue here is that both of you are having an affair, I've long past those days and won't return to them.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
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RE: Trust and honesty - 1/13/2008 4:55:44 PM   
winterlight


Posts: 1319
Joined: 2/18/2006
Status: offline 		OH, H*** NOOOOOOOOO

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Trust and honesty - 1/13/2008 4:56:40 PM   
MasterRoad


Posts: 188
Joined: 1/11/2008
Status: offline 		Actually, I am not in the relationship, but a concerned onlooker...

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I have no problem with a master who wants to do all of that- if you've decided he owns you, and that's what the ownership entails, then kudos.

The issue here is that both of you are having an affair, I've long past those days and won't return to them.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Trust and honesty - 1/13/2008 5:01:16 PM   
subantionette


Posts: 57
Joined: 1/7/2008
Status: offline 		That goes aganist my moral code, it is an afair and that is wrong if the Dom's wife knew and was ok with it then that would be different, cause then it be poly and not an afair as long as there is a lie taking place i consider it an afair.

(in reply to MasterRoad)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Trust and honesty - 1/13/2008 5:19:27 PM   
angelslave77


Posts: 478
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		The wanting to go through files ect I have a problem with as there may be confidental stuff on there. The cam/mic yeah well if you live alone and thats your thing it is all good.

The whole cheating thing I do sort of understand, it can be tough when you are kinky and your partner is not but I think the persons involved also need to be prepared for the fact eventually they will be caught out. I think it is better to sort your life out than to cheat but I am not going to pass judgement here. A Dom friend of mine just got caught out and he may well lose everything, his wife, his daughter, his career the type of job that one needs to be honest and upstanding not to mention this is a small town. 

So I think they are playing a risky game but just my 2cents worth

(in reply to subantionette)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Trust and honesty - 1/13/2008 5:25:08 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		I wouldn't ever get involved with someone who was cheating on a spouse, nor would I cheat on mine. Even if he wasn't cheating on his spouse nobody but me gets to mck with private files on my pc period.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Trust and honesty - 1/13/2008 5:34:19 PM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Firstly, I wouldn't allow anyone to install programs on my computer that would enable someone else to remotely moniter my online activities.

Secondly, if  the person was already spoken for and started chasing after me, I might get involved with them. Being a part of an affair would depend if my own relationship was open or closed. If I was single, then my standards are a bit more relaxed. Suffice to say, being the "other" man is a road I've been down before a few times.

_____________________________

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Promiscuous boy you already know
That I’m all yours what you waiting for?

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(in reply to MasterRoad)
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RE: Trust and honesty - 1/13/2008 5:40:45 PM   
bamabbwsub


Posts: 566
Joined: 5/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

How would you feel about a Dom who was married wanting a relationship on the side with you and wanting to install software on your computer so that your activities online could be remotely monitored, your files examined, and accessories such as webcam and microphone turned on. To complete the scenario, you are living in a vanilla relationship and are not to let on about the affair.


My answer: Hell, no. If a man cheats on his spouse, what will keep him from cheating on me?

My analysis of this person: I don't know the "Dom" in question, of course, but it sounds to me as though he may be a control-freak Dom wanna-be who just wants kinky, extramarital sex on the side. The issues with the computer reek of his lack of trust (gee, wonder why?) of his "submissive." Besides, if she's in a vanilla relationship, how is she supposed to keep her webcam and microphone turned on with her SO in the same household (assuming they live together)? So not only is he a cheating control freak, he's a virtual Peeping Tom too.

I'd rather stay single and Dom-less, thanks.

< Message edited by bamabbwsub -- 1/13/2008 5:42:07 PM >

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Trust and honesty - 1/13/2008 6:13:05 PM   
decstorm37


Posts: 95
Joined: 11/12/2007
Status: offline 		Well as for the affair No way would i do that. Like said before if he will cheat on his wife what is to say he won't cheat on me.  The computer things hell no.  My computer that i paid for is not open to just anyone.  Him wanting to monitor things on my PC screams to me as he does not trust me.  So why would i be with him in the first place if i can't trust him and he can't trust me?

_____________________________

You do not appreciate the value of something until you lose it!!!! MASAI saying

(in reply to bamabbwsub)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Trust and honesty - 1/13/2008 6:14:34 PM   
fullofgrace69


Posts: 99
Joined: 7/22/2006
Status: offline 		i wuldnt do it for various reasons, the biggest being i do not nor will i ever install a webcam again on my pc cos of the way a certain dum choose to use it wen i was brand brand new.....ive kinda got a fear wont even go on cam for friends now :( oh and i dont share at all, and if im in a relationship thats the only relationshp im gonna have.:)

_____________________________


-Look, if you want to torture me, spank me, lick me, do it. But if this poetry shit continues just shoot me now please.-

(in reply to bamabbwsub)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Trust and honesty - 1/13/2008 6:16:45 PM   
littlebitxxx


Posts: 732
Status: offline 		<FR>

NO!  

_____________________________

There is no such thing as can't unless it is followed by yet

It is the meaningless little acts that become meaningful in the doing.

The people that mind don't matter and the people that matter don't mind.

(in reply to fullofgrace69)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Trust and honesty - 1/13/2008 8:51:59 PM   
Siona


Posts: 242
Joined: 10/5/2006
Status: offline 		Not no..but hell no!

(in reply to littlebitxxx)
Profile   Post #: 20
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