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RE: What if..... - 1/15/2008 3:51:24 AM

KatyLied

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You don't have to have sex with your partners to meet the definition of poly. It's close, intimate, loving-relationships with more than one person. You are definitely poly. I guess a lot may have to do with how you define "intimate" but many people would say that sex does not need to be part of that equation. Anyway, there's tons of definitions out there.

But more importantly, if your relationships meet your needs and the partners are known to each other and agree on the dynamics, does it really matter that much what you call it?

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(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 61

RE: What if..... - 1/15/2008 3:56:51 AM

sambamanslilgirl

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From: Chicago, IL
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it still is a serious thread and i happy that it made you think.

so far everyone who has posted has agreed on something - individuality. in my quest to find that "yes" answer, i was encouraged that each one of us does retain some part of our own individuality even in this lifestyle. that's what makes this community special (but i don't like using the word "special"). we can come freely exchanging ideas/ideologies with one another despite clashing on hot threads yet walk away remaining as we are before entering the forums. you and i have clashed on opinions before and even though we don't see eye to eye, i still have respect for your opinions.

you asked why do i care? i want to see how others think not of me (honestly, i've been teased and laughed behind my back all my life ...i was a totally nerd) but of my thought process. i have other serious threads brewing inside my head but i wanted to see how people would react to it instead of my usual fun times on an imaginary cruise ship. i'm getting good feedback thus far. perhaps i'll post more seriously or not - sometimes i need to shut my brain off before it overthinks me into a headache.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 62

RE: What if..... - 1/15/2008 3:59:47 AM

laurell3

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

it still is a serious thread and i happy that it made you think.

so far everyone who has posted has agreed on something - individuality. in my quest to find that "yes" answer, i was encouraged that each one of us does retain some part of our own individuality even in this lifestyle. that's what makes this community special (but i don't like using the word "special"). we can come freely exchanging ideas/ideologies with one another despite clashing on hot threads yet walk away remaining as we are before entering the forums. you and i have clashed on opinions before and even though we don't see eye to eye, i still have respect for your opinions.

you asked why do i care? i want to see how others think not of me (honestly, i've been teased and laughed behind my back all my life ...i was a totally nerd) but of my thought process. i have other serious threads brewing inside my head but i wanted to see how people would react to it instead of my usual fun times on an imaginary cruise ship. i'm getting good feedback thus far. perhaps i'll post more seriously or not - sometimes i need to shut my brain off before it overthinks me into a headache.

Well it is thought provoking so it's a good thread. I got the impression you were targeting certain people though so it's confusing how serious you were. In any event, because you mention it, yes we've disagreed in the past, however, we don't know each other and probably never will, so I have no opinion of you other than you can at times be opinionated, haha well...I'd be the pot/kettle and all that if I said it wasn't true of me also.

Have a good day!

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 63

RE: What if..... - 1/15/2008 4:03:00 AM

sambamanslilgirl

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From: Chicago, IL
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my relationship with Daddy can be describe as a father's love for His daughter - that's how far intimacy can get between us since it's non-sexual.

they do meet my needs - i have a Father (not disrespecting my real one however he was a crappy dad. my father doesn't deny it either) and i have a boyfriend. we are quite happy about the arrangement.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 64

RE: What if..... - 1/15/2008 4:50:23 AM

TreasureKY

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From: Kentucky
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

... You forgot to add that you are having sex in both relationships. So it's not a parent relationship in the sense that you are describing a non-intimate relationship with someone who mentors you...

...thank you for that lovely assumption, Calif, i knew you eventually say it. however you in fact wrong. i'm not having sex of any kind with Daddy but it's definitely more like a parent-UM relationship...

I don't think it's fair to blame cali for assuming your relationship with your Daddy contains sexual elements, sambamanslilgirl... comments you've made over the past year leave that impression:

"...i do it because (a)i crave what my Daddy craves and (b)it pleases Him when i do it out of love and appreciation. it's never done out of submission to Him or expecting to receive oral in return from Him..." (in a thread about oral sex)

"...to Daddy and me, the sexual aspect of our relationhip can be compared to dessert in a 7-course dinner - there's more to our relationship than sex and spankings. though it plays a minor role, we enjoy other things together which really makes my relationship with Daddy very unique and special..."

"...sex is not the heart of this Daddy-daughter relationship. it's more like the dessert in a 7 course dinner..."

"...i have a DaddyDom and it's not about incest/sex in my relationship with Him. there's sex but it's not the foundation of our Daddy-daughter realationship either..."

"...my ideal day: a lazy relaxing weekend with Daddy ... then long moments of sex and napping before dinner and dancing. finally restful sleep snuggling in each other's arms..."

"...Daddy would never have sex with another submissive/slave. when He says we're a monogamous Daddy-daughter relationship, He means exactly that..."

"...i don't need a physical relationship to feel complete with Daddy - sex isn't the main course of my relationship to Him ...it's dessert after having the main course..."

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 65

RE: What if..... - 1/15/2008 4:52:23 AM

KatyLied

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Well evidently there is sex in that relationship.

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Post #: 66

RE: What if..... - 1/15/2008 4:54:24 AM

TreasureKY

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Well evidently there is sex in that relationship.

lol... depends upon how you define "sex".

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 67

RE: What if..... - 1/15/2008 4:57:54 AM

KatyLied

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quote:

lol... depends upon how you define "sex".

hehe, perhaps we would benefit for a bdsm bible that defines everything!

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to TreasureKY)

Post #: 68

RE: What if..... - 1/15/2008 6:21:18 AM

AquaticSub

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*shrugs* So what if you aren't having sex? Plenty of dommes don't have sex with their sub/slaves/boys and it's still a relationship.

Mono means one and poly means two. Sorry if that bugs you but the fact that you list this as being a relationships says that it is one to me. You are in two, not one.

Edited to add: I'm really fucking confused now... even if sex isn't a main event or a big deal it certainly seems to be happening.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 1/15/2008 6:23:18 AM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 69

RE: What if..... - 1/15/2008 6:22:11 AM

DesFIP

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It would probably be obeyed to the letter just as well as the real bible is now by believers. Meaning not at all well.

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Post #: 70

RE: What if..... - 1/15/2008 8:01:50 AM

beargonewild

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

a UM/father/parent relationship - quite monogamous but in the vanilla world, it would be called a family.

a bf/Dom and gf/submissive - monogamous relationship

two distinct yet very different relationships that have one common factor the submissive involved - is it still poly?

That is exactly the definition of poly. You forgot to add that you are having sex in both relationships. So it's not a parent relationship in the sense that you are describing a non-intimate relationship with someone who mentors you. The two men in your life are in monogamous relationships, but you, the center of the "V" of the dynamic, are not.

Cali

Speaking of sex....it would be safe to state that with the general context of polyamorous relationships, the sexual dynamic is automatically assumed to be occuring. So wouldn't it make sense also that looking at sambasis's situation that her relationships are monogamous.

To that her situation further and expounding on the fact she has a daddy and she has a Dom. To be quite blunt, she is leading 2 monogamous relationships with 2 diferent people.
eg> 1) Her and her Dom (soon to be hubby also) have forsaken others and are faithful to each other. That is one major defining aspect of monogamy
2) Her relationship with her Daddy. She has stated before there is no sex between then. It is a platonic Daddy/daughter dynamic. She ihas no other daddy but him. Therefore she is oin a monogamous relationship with her Daddy.

Granted this dynamic, can easy be seem as either monogamous and/or poly. Especially if you if you analyze the dynamics against the literal definition of polyamory and monogamy.

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Do Not Rile da Chosen Bear

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(in reply to CalifChick)

Post #: 71

RE: What if..... - 1/15/2008 8:02:28 AM

scifi1133

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quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

Would I give up who I am and what makes me unique to be like others? Aren't there a number of bad scifi movies based on this concept? Hell no, not a chance.

hey i may be bad but im not a movie....lol

_____________________________

I'm the happy fascist slut.
awwwwwww yeeeeeeeeah
And I see your schwartz is as big as mine.
My heart 10-01-72 / 10-16-09

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Post #: 72

RE: What if..... - 1/15/2008 8:05:16 AM

beargonewild

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Edited to add: I'm really fucking confused now... even if sex isn't a main event or a big deal it certainly seems to be happening.

The answer to your confusion is simple Aqua. Believe in the powewr of Chocolate and indulge in the power of Chocolate. Chocolate is your friend.

So sayth the High Priest of Chocolate

_____________________________

Do Not Rile da Chosen Bear

Promiscuous boy you already know
That I’m all yours what you waiting for?

Resident MANWHORE ~1000 Bear pts~

10 NZ points
Whips~n~Cuffs

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 73

RE: What if..... - 1/15/2008 8:06:57 AM

beargonewild

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Of course not scifi. You may not be a movie but I bet you can get real bad *weg*

_____________________________

Do Not Rile da Chosen Bear

Promiscuous boy you already know
That I’m all yours what you waiting for?

Resident MANWHORE ~1000 Bear pts~

10 NZ points
Whips~n~Cuffs

(in reply to scifi1133)

Post #: 74

RE: What if..... - 1/15/2008 8:07:25 AM

scifi1133

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From: virginia
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rotflmao damn bear....how the hell you stay so thin with you worshiping chocolate and all.....lmao. oh and yes bear i can be<weg>

< Message edited by scifi1133 -- 1/15/2008 8:08:01 AM >

_____________________________

I'm the happy fascist slut.
awwwwwww yeeeeeeeeah
And I see your schwartz is as big as mine.
My heart 10-01-72 / 10-16-09

(in reply to beargonewild)

Post #: 75

RE: What if..... - 1/15/2008 8:09:54 AM

beargonewild

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Joined: 5/7/2007
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The answer is simple, that's why they call me the man-whore. Plus having a poly sexual relationship with 2 men has it's own exercise program to keep me busy!

_____________________________

Do Not Rile da Chosen Bear

Promiscuous boy you already know
That I’m all yours what you waiting for?

Resident MANWHORE ~1000 Bear pts~

10 NZ points
Whips~n~Cuffs

(in reply to scifi1133)

Post #: 76

RE: What if..... - 1/15/2008 8:35:14 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
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From: Chicago, IL
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Katy and Treasure - what's the BIGGEST sexual organ inside your body? once you have actually answered that question, then you'll understand there was NO (nor has there ever been) any sexual contact between us. sex is like dessert after a 7-course meal but i'm not saying if we cyber either.

oh Treasure, i commend you for digging up my old responses. please indulge my curiosity for a minute, what point were you trying to prove other than you didn't understand/comprehend a single word.

thank your replying

have a nice day

edited to add - i highly recommend that both of you read bear's explanation ...he did a better a job than i could ever have.

< Message edited by sambamanslilgirl -- 1/15/2008 8:42:46 AM >

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 77

RE: What if..... - 1/15/2008 8:37:29 AM

scifi1133

Posts: 8529
Joined: 3/27/2007
From: virginia
Status: offline

very nice question that...some people unfortunately will never get that.

_____________________________

I'm the happy fascist slut.
awwwwwww yeeeeeeeeah
And I see your schwartz is as big as mine.
My heart 10-01-72 / 10-16-09

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 78

RE: What if..... - 1/15/2008 8:48:15 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

hey, scifi, it's all about the creativity in the _______________ and how you use it *wink wink*

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to scifi1133)

Post #: 79

RE: What if..... - 1/15/2008 8:49:43 AM

scifi1133

Posts: 8529
Joined: 3/27/2007
From: virginia
Status: offline

hiya smlg how have you been....been gone for awhile so i havent seen you.

_____________________________

I'm the happy fascist slut.
awwwwwww yeeeeeeeeah
And I see your schwartz is as big as mine.
My heart 10-01-72 / 10-16-09

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 80

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