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RE: BDSM & Vanilla: Us VS Them or We Are Them? - 1/14/2008 1:24:03 AM   
ownedgirlie


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quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696



But yes, we all want to see the things we like to be better then other things. Sadly is not, have a peek at some very read profiles on the website.



I strive only to be a better 'me' and understand that I have control only over my own actions and reactions. That said, if I thought that another way of life was better than how I currently live, it would behoove me to change my lifestyle. I don't see anything inherently wrong with thinking that what I do is better than doing something different because doing something different is not better for 'me' as an individual. At the same time I can acknowledge that another way of life is also 'better' for the person who is living best in that way.

::wondering if that makes the sense I think it does:: lol

Celeste


It's late and my ADD is taking over, so I'm jumping posts, it seems.

I see what it is you are saying.  A priest whose calling it is to be a priest is living a life that is "better" for him than oh, say, a Chippendale dancer.  My life as my Master's slave is "better" for me than living as an equal partner to a husband.  Neither of our roles is better for the other person, but as long as we know who we are and can live in such a way that suits us best, then we are right where we belong. 

It's when I start saying the way I'm living is best and you should be living this way too, that I'm off my rocker.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: BDSM & Vanilla: Us VS Them or We Are Them? - 1/14/2008 1:32:38 AM   
Justme696


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696



But yes, we all want to see the things we like to be better then other things. Sadly is not, have a peek at some very read profiles on the website.



I strive only to be a better 'me' and understand that I have control only over my own actions and reactions. That said, if I thought that another way of life was better than how I currently live, it would behoove me to change my lifestyle. I don't see anything inherently wrong with thinking that what I do is better than doing something different because doing something different is not better for 'me' as an individual. At the same time I can acknowledge that another way of life is also 'better' for the person who is living best in that way.

::wondering if that makes the sense I think it does:: lol

Celeste


It's late and my ADD is taking over, so I'm jumping posts, it seems.

I see what it is you are saying.  A priest whose calling it is to be a priest is living a life that is "better" for him than oh, say, a Chippendale dancer.  My life as my Master's slave is "better" for me than living as an equal partner to a husband.  Neither of our roles is better for the other person, but as long as we know who we are and can live in such a way that suits us best, then we are right where we belong. 

It's when I start saying the way I'm living is best and you should be living this way too, that I'm off my rocker.


That is well said. So there is no us or them. If people are happy how they live, then it is good.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: BDSM & Vanilla: Us VS Them or We Are Them? - 1/14/2008 1:35:18 AM   
Asherdelampyr


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: Asherdelampyr

If it contradicted who and what she ws, then it would really be better for her, would it?

not sure how... :P

It all depends. It certainly could be.


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RE: BDSM & Vanilla: Us VS Them or We Are Them? - 1/14/2008 1:35:23 AM   
Level


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quote:

That is well said. So there is no us or them. If people are happy how they live, then it is good.


No matter what? No matter how negatively it may affect someone else?

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to Justme696)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: BDSM & Vanilla: Us VS Them or We Are Them? - 1/14/2008 1:37:53 AM   
BitaTruble


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie


But is your OP asking if we are segregating ourselves by confining our discussions to a BDSM board?  I don't think so, if we not secluding ourselves to only these kinds of communities.  And if we are...well...we have to start somewhere, right?


No, not segregating, but rather perpetuating the stereotypes that we then turn around and smash.

You made some good points about 'out of wedlock' and things of that nature that at one time were not so easy to accept, neither for ourselves nor by society standards, but I don't think those are the issues they once were .. at least not for the majority.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: BDSM & Vanilla: Us VS Them or We Are Them? - 1/14/2008 1:39:41 AM   
Level


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Asherdelampyr

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: Asherdelampyr

If it contradicted who and what she ws, then it would really be better for her, would it?

not sure how... :P

It all depends. It certainly could be.



Let's say someone likes to fuck, a lot, without protection.

It might behoove them to change that, as they have 7 kids, and a case of crotch-rot that would frighten the sturdiest of souls. But that's not how they are, or want to be.

So, just because we're being what we are, does not mean there isn't something better. And it doesn't make changing palatable, just because it's better, or "better".

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to Asherdelampyr)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: BDSM & Vanilla: Us VS Them or We Are Them? - 1/14/2008 1:40:20 AM   
ownedgirlie


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

That is well said. So there is no us or them. If people are happy how they live, then it is good.


No matter what? No matter how negatively it may affect someone else?



Well, Level, I suppose it depends.  I mean, if being true to myself means being the next serial killer, then no, it's not so good and I need help!

But I wasn't talking about that sort of thing.

Also, the reverse is often true as well.  I might say this is the best way for me, and then get accused of a sublier than thou attitude for simply saying what works for me.  It's happened to me and to others here.  So in some cases we judge each other on these fora more than most "vanillas" would judge us.  Such is the case, which is why once a person is strong in his/her convictions about his/her way of living, outside judgments don't matter so much.

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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: BDSM & Vanilla: Us VS Them or We Are Them? - 1/14/2008 1:41:23 AM   
BitaTruble


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From: Texas
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

That is well said. So there is no us or them. If people are happy how they live, then it is good.


No matter what? No matter how negatively it may affect someone else?


I wouldn't say no matter what. If I'm filled by being a serial killer, certainly that is not a good thing!

Celeste

edited to add: I could have just said ditto to owned. ::laughs::

< Message edited by BitaTruble -- 1/14/2008 1:42:32 AM >

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: BDSM & Vanilla: Us VS Them or We Are Them? - 1/14/2008 1:41:35 AM   
ownedgirlie


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quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble
You made some good points about 'out of wedlock' and things of that nature that at one time were not so easy to accept, neither for ourselves nor by society standards, but I don't think those are the issues they once were .. at least not for the majority.

Celeste


The part I bolded was my point...that in time this way of life may not be so threatening and taboo, either.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: BDSM & Vanilla: Us VS Them or We Are Them? - 1/14/2008 1:42:41 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

That is well said. So there is no us or them. If people are happy how they live, then it is good.


No matter what? No matter how negatively it may affect someone else?


I wouldn't say no matter what. If I'm filled by being a serial killer, certainly that is not a good thing!

Celeste


Hey!  That's exactly what I just said!!  Get out of my brain! 

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: BDSM & Vanilla: Us VS Them or We Are Them? - 1/14/2008 1:43:11 AM   
Level


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Joined: 3/3/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

I might say this is the best way for me, and then get accused of a sublier than thou attitude for simply saying what works for me.  It's happened to me and to others here.  So in some cases we judge each other on these fora more than most "vanillas" would judge us. 


Yep.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: BDSM & Vanilla: Us VS Them or We Are Them? - 1/14/2008 1:43:21 AM   
Asherdelampyr


Posts: 9556
Joined: 11/14/2006
From: The Desert
Status: offline 		Level: it seems to me like you really just want to pick a fight, tell ya what, start a "fight thread" and Ill join ya

I realized that im Bi in the middle of high school. Im currently a father and not married, and I was divorced before I was of legal drinking age, none of those things were as hard for me to accespt as being "kinky". Whereas I understand that any truth can bring about a measure of greatness, I think it depends on the leap involved. The longer the trip, the greater the reward.


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The nicest man you'll ever bleed for

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(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: BDSM & Vanilla: Us VS Them or We Are Them? - 1/14/2008 1:43:34 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline 		Are we talking about persons, or about 2 "opposing" groups. I see a lot of examples about "I" . Which is great also, but isn't it interesting to compare the view of the groups "them" and "us"

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: BDSM & Vanilla: Us VS Them or We Are Them? - 1/14/2008 1:44:33 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

That is well said. So there is no us or them. If people are happy how they live, then it is good.


No matter what? No matter how negatively it may affect someone else?


I wouldn't say no matter what. If I'm filled by being a serial killer, certainly that is not a good thing!

Celeste

edited to add: I could have just said ditto to owned. ::laughs::


You two are just plain stuck with one another.  A good thing, though.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: BDSM & Vanilla: Us VS Them or We Are Them? - 1/14/2008 1:47:29 AM   
Asherdelampyr


Posts: 9556
Joined: 11/14/2006
From: The Desert
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

Are we talking about persons, or about 2 "opposing" groups. I see a lot of examples about "I" . Which is great also, but isn't it interesting to compare the view of the groups "them" and "us"
Good point, no matter what there is always gonna be "them and us" And it does make a huge difference.


_____________________________

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The nicest man you'll ever bleed for

Posting Help

Vitam Piratae Eligo

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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: BDSM & Vanilla: Us VS Them or We Are Them? - 1/14/2008 1:47:29 AM   
Level


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Asherdelampyr

Level: it seems to me like you really just want to pick a fight, tell ya what, start a "fight thread" and Ill join ya



Naw, I'm going back to bed.

I enjoy looking at things from all sorts of angles, so I tend to question those things.

Plus, I'm right.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to Asherdelampyr)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: BDSM & Vanilla: Us VS Them or We Are Them? - 1/14/2008 1:52:31 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

Are we talking about persons, or about 2 "opposing" groups. I see a lot of examples about "I" . Which is great also, but isn't it interesting to compare the view of the groups "them" and "us"


"Them" and "us" are comprised of multiple "I's".  I can only give examples of my experiences or hypotheticals.  However, I did say that the "vanilla" group seems to be more open to ideas than the "non-vanilla" group.

(in reply to Justme696)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: BDSM & Vanilla: Us VS Them or We Are Them? - 1/14/2008 1:53:48 AM   
ownedgirlie


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Level
You two are just plain stuck with one another.  A good thing, though.


She's not a bad person to be stuck to....heh...

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: BDSM & Vanilla: Us VS Them or We Are Them? - 1/14/2008 1:54:13 AM   
BitaTruble


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Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Level


Let's say someone likes to fuck, a lot, without protection.

It might behoove them to change that, as they have 7 kids, and a case of crotch-rot that would frighten the sturdiest of souls. But that's not how they are, or want to be.

So, just because we're being what we are, does not mean there isn't something better. And it doesn't make changing palatable, just because it's better, or "better".


I think this is where personal responsibility and accountability comes in to play. The crotch rot guy is going to have to be the one who suffers the rot and take care of all those rug rats. That doesn't mean I wouldn't advocate he seek medical advice and start using a glove which seems like a very small adjustment to fix a major problem. It's up to him to make that choice though.

As I said earlier, I can only control my own actions and reactions, not the actions or reactions of others.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: BDSM & Vanilla: Us VS Them or We Are Them? - 1/14/2008 1:55:36 AM   
Asherdelampyr


Posts: 9556
Joined: 11/14/2006
From: The Desert
Status: offline 		The difference between belief and deed. We are thought to be more honest because of our beliefs, not our deeds.

_____________________________

Pirate King,

The nicest man you'll ever bleed for

Posting Help

Vitam Piratae Eligo

The Rainmaker

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 40
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