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Your stressed "D" type - 1/15/2008 5:27:38 AM   
breatheasone


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Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline 		In talking with Daddy yesterday, and then this morning I heard how stressed out He is ...and continues to be, because of a few things that are going on with Him right now. Normally He handles this stuff and the like, in His stride. Right now it seems several things are converging to create the "prefect strom" of stress for Him. I told Him this morning I wanted Him to beat me, soon as in day or tomorrow...He said "Yes, I really do need to do that." (I could hear His voice brighten and lighten little just saying that) Its funny that He doesnt think of that, but that its the one thing that REALLY lifts His spirits, and will get a good deal of that stress off Him. Does anyone else offer up their backside when their "D" type is in need of stress relief?

< Message edited by breatheasone -- 1/15/2008 5:50:46 AM >

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RE: Your stressed "D" type - 1/15/2008 5:30:55 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline 		I am curious about the answers. Never thought about this..or has happened to me. Well in a different way it actually did.
When i was really pissed once at a slave..i forgot actually to punish her..and she told me...she deserved punishment...she was offering to relieve my anger.
Mmm i don't punish in anger though.

But interesting subject :)

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RE: Your stressed "D" type - 1/15/2008 5:35:01 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I don't think that would work for The Man because he can't really enjoy play like that. Oddly enough, when he's overwhelmed what does help is for me to ask him to help me with something that he can do. I think it's the fact that he can see how to do it and bring it to a good resolution that does it for him. He isn't stressed by solvable although difficult tasks, only by those he can't see how to solve.

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RE: Your stressed "D" type - 1/15/2008 5:45:13 AM   
breatheasone


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Status: offline 		I hear ya...and understand....Its the things that we can't control or stuff that normally wouldn't get to us that can stress us when other stuff is gone screwy ! ......I never said this was a "problem solver" ...just a way (a fun way) for Him to relieve some frustration, but He doesn't necessarily think of it on His own sometimes

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RE: Your stressed "D" type - 1/15/2008 5:57:46 AM   
Justme696


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quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

I hear ya...and understand....Its the things that we can't control or stuff that normally wouldn't get to us that can stress us when other stuff is gone screwy ! ......I never said this was a "problem solver" ...just a way (a fun way) for Him to relieve some frustration, but He doesn't necessarily think of it on His own sometimes


Did you ask him what bothers him? If that is possible in your relation ofcourse.
We males are not always such talkers, but when your special one asks you....we might talk sometimes.

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RE: Your stressed "D" type - 1/15/2008 6:20:54 AM   
MamaDomme1


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Status: offline 		I know in my case, that if I am stressed over things, I really don't want to start flogging.  Not that I would lose control or damage anything, it's just not where my mind is and I would have trouble trying to make sure my *s* was taken care of.

I much rather work out whatever the stress issue is and then get into some serious action as celebration!  ;)

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RE: Your stressed "D" type - 1/15/2008 6:23:41 AM   
breatheasone


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

I am curious about the answers. Never thought about this..or has happened to me. Well in a different way it actually did.
When i was really pissed once at a slave..i forgot actually to punish her..and she told me...she deserved punishment...she was offering to relieve my anger.
Mmm i don't punish in anger though.

But interesting subject :)

I agree with you Justme696 I wouldn't go for the "hitting in anger" thing either.....This is wholly different ...

Daddy has, after a tough day, played "vigorously" with me LOL. It was wonderful. You see Daddy tends to be on the cautious side. We are both finding the Sadist and masochist in Ourselves. We are each others 1st, and to be honest,We are just kinda enjoying each other, and marveling at ALL the kinky stuff we like to do together! Its crazy how well our kinks match up. So we are just exploring everything, including different times and moods for beating/spankings.... and ...well...

That day He was a little bit more spirited with His swings, cause He had a tough day. I even met Him at the door kneeling, and face to the floor. As He walked in the door, I "heard" Him see me(i didn't, wouldn't have looked up), His breathing changed, His voice got a bit deeper, He said something like "Ah yes, I needed this, you...." I heard Him walk toward me. He inspected me... Kissed me, told me how much He loved me, and then whipped me....It was awesome....He reported being ALOT less stressed after He was done with me that evening  LOL. So when I heard it in His voice yesterday, and still this morning....I took it upon myself to offer up my behind once nore, for the greater good!!(ain't i a good girl?) 

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RE: Your stressed "D" type - 1/15/2008 6:27:43 AM   
Dnomyar


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Status: offline 		I usually try to identify what is causing the stress and work thru it in pieces. Some times I will take one of my guns out and kill tin cans or water jugs. I never take it out on people.

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RE: Your stressed "D" type - 1/15/2008 6:30:36 AM   
breatheasone


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

I hear ya...and understand....Its the things that we can't control or stuff that normally wouldn't get to us that can stress us when other stuff is gone screwy ! ......I never said this was a "problem solver" ...just a way (a fun way) for Him to relieve some frustration, but He doesn't necessarily think of it on His own sometimes


Did you ask him what bothers him? If that is possible in your relation ofcourse.
We males are not always such talkers, but when your special one asks you....we might talk sometimes.

Absolutely!!...I LOVE talking with Him. We talk about everything, and I have a pretty good handle on whats bugging Him....Its just "stuff"....It happens...everybody has "stuff"...most times it rolls off your back...and sometimes it gets stuck LOL. He enjoys whipping me...I enjoy getting whipped....and when He is a little on the frustrated side its a little more ...i don't know fun?...spirited?.....Theres a different energy to it thats not bad at all....its almost therapeutic. Perhaps I'm explaining it badly, but I liked the last time the circumstances were similar.


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RE: Your stressed "D" type - 1/15/2008 6:35:14 AM   
juliaoceania


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quote:

Does anyone else offer up their backside when their "D" type is in need of stress relief?


When my Daddy has troubles he doesn't feel like being sadistic. It takes a lot of energy for him to do that with me because his focus is entirely on me when we do S & M. So, no, I have never offered my backside to him for stress management


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RE: Your stressed "D" type - 1/15/2008 6:37:00 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline 		If you do talk..and as an extra offer yourself...then it must cheer him up.
Hope the real issues will go away too, but till that time..you will do a good job taking his mind of things

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RE: Your stressed "D" type - 1/15/2008 6:37:46 AM   
breatheasone


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

I usually try to identify what is causing the stress and work thru it in pieces. Some times I will take one of my guns out and kill tin cans or water jugs. I never take it out on people.

Hmmmm...I guess you misunderstand the spitit of my post. I didnt mean to imply or say that anything is being "taken out on me"....

You ever notice somethings sound better in your head then "on paper"?....LOL.....Perhaps this OP of mine is one of those....I'm sorry if I am spouting off.


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RE: Your stressed "D" type - 1/15/2008 6:40:07 AM   
IrishMist


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quote:

Does anyone else offer up their backside when their "D" type is in need of stress relief?

when I was in a relationship, it was not so much as an offering...he just would do it, but I always knew he was throwing off steam. Of course, I used to do the same thing with him; when things got too much, I would lash out...he always understood the reasons why.

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RE: Your stressed "D" type - 1/15/2008 6:41:30 AM   
breatheasone


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

If you do talk..and as an extra offer yourself...then it must cheer him up.
Hope the real issues will go away too, but till that time..you will do a good job taking his mind of things

exactly!....Thats what I am doing. Daddy LOVES to do it...and I love to get it! Thanks for the well wishes ...and things are better already in fact...I think I still want my spanking though...It WAS my idea after all...and it DID cheer Him up LOL.


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Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
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RE: Your stressed "D" type - 1/15/2008 6:41:42 AM   
batshalom


Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline 		I don't offer (I've only been with one who identified as a sadist) but I accept suggestions happily.

I usually give (without asking) silence (meaning peace and tranquility without "Are you ok? Are you ok? What can I do?"), care (cooking favorite meals, keeping the house in a pleasing way, light scents), and no lip.

If there was a wish to use my body as stress relief, I would smilingly comply. Men I choose to be with know I'm not a masochist, they generally aren't sadists, so stress relief would probably be more like flat-out kinky sex, having me dance, or staging a masturbation scene for his viewing pleasure, rather than flogging / whipping. If it came to that, though, ok.

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RE: Your stressed "D" type - 1/15/2008 6:43:14 AM   
Phin


Posts: 1802
Joined: 2/26/2007
Status: offline 		It sounds as you may already know what is bothering Him. Sit before Him and rub his feet, allow Him to vent, even if the word can be hurtful, know that He does not mean them towards you.

There are things that help me release stress, a good massage, talking it out, and doing something physical. you may offer him all three, but I would offer up the backside after the talk and foot massage.

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RE: Your stressed "D" type - 1/15/2008 6:48:11 AM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

I usually try to identify what is causing the stress and work thru it in pieces. Some times I will take one of my guns out and kill tin cans or water jugs. I never take it out on people.

Hmmmm...I guess you misunderstand the spitit of my post. I didnt mean to imply or say that anything is being "taken out on me"....

You ever notice somethings sound better in your head then "on paper"?....LOL.....Perhaps this OP of mine is one of those....I'm sorry if I am spouting off.

 I understood exactly what you meant. Yes it is a wonderful thing to be able to offer as a distraction, stress reliever, endorphin surge or whatever you want to call it.It is not a substitute for talking, it is not done in anger. I understand that too. It is much like receiving a maintanance spanking, it feels good and centers things so that I can work through it all.

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RE: Your stressed "D" type - 1/15/2008 6:53:30 AM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline 		Sorry.. duplicate post..

< Message edited by breatheasone -- 1/15/2008 6:54:28 AM >

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Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
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RE: Your stressed "D" type - 1/15/2008 7:31:08 AM   
YesMistressIrish


Posts: 1135
Joined: 5/1/2007
From: Calif
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

I hear ya...and understand....Its the things that we can't control or stuff that normally wouldn't get to us that can stress us when other stuff is gone screwy ! ......I never said this was a "problem solver" ...just a way (a fun way) for Him to relieve some frustration, but He doesn't necessarily think of it on His own sometimes


Did you ask him what bothers him? If that is possible in your relation ofcourse.
We males are not always such talkers, but when your special one asks you....we might talk sometimes.

Absolutely!!...I LOVE talking with Him. We talk about everything, and I have a pretty good handle on whats bugging Him....Its just "stuff"....It happens...everybody has "stuff"...most times it rolls off your back...and sometimes it gets stuck LOL. He enjoys whipping me...I enjoy getting whipped....and when He is a little on the frustrated side its a little more ...i don't know fun?...spirited?.....Theres a different energy to it thats not bad at all....its almost therapeutic. Perhaps I'm explaining it badly, but I liked the last time the circumstances were similar.


You're not explaining it badly at all and I understand it can be very theraputic for both of you.
If if feels good to both of you, go for it!

The other stress reducers are of course what some others have said: Quiet and peace, foot massage, blowing up a few cans, talking about what the current stress is caused by and adding HUMOR (love that one myself)   etc. first.
The way you met him at the door, and the fact that both of you got pleasure and relief from it, well that's just really sweet in my book.

Sometimes when I have a lot of energy pent up I will post something on my journal, and I know a couple of subs who love to step up to the plate that way, and serve a trusted domme by 'offering up their backside'. Sometimes within an hour I will see a couple of genuine emails from subs who  long for and even crave it, and experience a lot of pleasure serving that way.

It's a balance of course:  Being aware of limits clearly on both ends; the strong trust that needs to be there. I know you are in a wonderful one-on-one relationship with your Dom and so you are really there for each other. I 'get' from your post that he works on his stress in every way he can, so IMO what you do for him is a beautiful thing to help him let off steam for the things he cannot change at the moment. If our society were a more open one, people could let off steam like this and be a healthier place for all of us...? That's a theory of mine anyway.

I am happy for you both. I assume from what you wrote that this is the 'extra' steam and that your Dom takes responsibility for everything he can in his day to day stressors. Just like you probably do. And if you both find relief when you offer up your backside, it can be cathartic and healing for both of you.

It's all about balance. As long as your eyes and hearts are focused on what's best for both of you, (and it certainly sounds like it is), then it all works out for the betterment for both of you and your growing relationship.

I think you're both very fortunate to have found each-other!
My best to you and may you both be very happy together for a long, long time!
Irish

< Message edited by YesMistressIrish -- 1/15/2008 7:39:16 AM >

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Fortune favors the strong/bold.

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RE: Your stressed "D" type - 1/15/2008 7:42:48 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		Fox has done this in the past and the results are that it pisses me off. I don't do SM when I'm having negative emotions, that's my own safety issue in my own household.

What works better for me is for him to just kneel in front of me and wait for me to act. Most of my stress comes from feeling out of control after all so being reminded that I have a lot of control and authority from one beautiful person can reset my emotional priorities fairly quickly.

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Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

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