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RE: Fear of your Master - 1/16/2008 5:03:44 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		Everything in communication is about semantics and subject to individual interpretation.

Posting a screen name would be against TOS. Also why are you criticizing someone else's profile? Perhaps he is not misleading anyone. Again, your perception is not everyone's perception. I wonder why you fail to see that. It is astonishing.

You say he never listened. Pot.Kettle.Black.

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Fear of your Master - 1/16/2008 5:37:51 AM   
verysweet


Posts: 128
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Marc2b

It is my belief that in a good Master/slave relationship the slave should have a healthy fear of the Master’s displeasure (i.e. fear of punishment) but should never have to be afraid of the Master (i.e. fear for her safety or health). Just my two cents.

I see what you're saying here.  I'm not involved in a relationship with any sort of punishiment dynamic. I am more fearful of what pleases him, or the predicaments he puts me in that please him.  But for me, there is nothing more intoxicating than a healthy dose of fear with a whole lotta faith --in him and in myself-- thrown in for good measure. 



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Poetry in devotion.

(in reply to Marc2b)
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RE: Fear of your Master - 1/16/2008 6:10:43 AM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07

i read a Master's profile on here once and one of the things he said was that "You will fear me"

And I would.  I would definitely fear someone who thought that way.  Fear has no place in my life.  Awe and reverence, sure.  Fear, nope.............luci

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(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Fear of your Master - 1/16/2008 6:25:31 AM   
MamaDomme1


Posts: 377
Joined: 1/12/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07

The person i am refering to (i wish i could remember his screen name) is very young with no actual experience (or very little) The way he wrote his profile he is misleading all these girls into thinking he has years and years under his belt. He posted a thread on the boards and everyone told him, what he was doing wasn't right or safe, but he never listened.


That is such a shame.  Sometimes the young and new ones have difficulty expressing themselves, or just go about it in an ill-advised manner and then wonder why they can't find someone.   The best that can be said is that he will either learn or he will not be a happy person in the lifestyle.

I have had submissives fear me-- but not for what I would or would not do to them physically, they fear that I would leave them or they would disappoint me in some way.  I have a lovely *s* friend right now that strives to bring me pleasure and says that he fears that I might be unhappy in any way-- that is the only type of fear that I want my submissives or slaves to have.

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Fear of your Master - 1/16/2008 7:41:52 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Evility

quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696
ps (personal opinion)
If a profile says Sadist and uses the word Fear    stay away


Opinion or not, that's a serious over-simplification. If you're with a sadist and there isn't a bit of fear involved he really isn't much of a sadist in my opinion. Fear for your own safety is very different than other types of fear that can occur in the course of play. I identify as a sadist but I'm really not all that into dispensing enormous amounts of pain. Too many people think sadism always equals pain (yes, I am aware of the dictionary definition of sadism) and see sadists as folks who just want to stand there and wear your ass out beating you with a flogger. There is so much more to it than that. I'd much rather prey upon the psychological side of things (fear) than the physical.



It can damage people as much. (see the red text)
I hate a cut in my finger, but I also hate heights



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(in reply to Evility)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Fear of your Master - 1/16/2008 7:50:31 AM   
Rianne


Posts: 49
Joined: 11/30/2007
Status: offline
quote:

We loved him, we feared him, but we were not afraid of him


I like that one.    I may have read that profile..it sounds familiar....I just took it to be a bit of a thriller and bluster.  Like  "Sheep fear Me".

Although I certainly have fears when with my Master, I'm not afraid of him, nor do I ever want to be.  I don't like that dynamic.  He can scare the bejeebers out of me sometimes when he comes at me with "a new idea", or tells me I'm about to learn something new.  But that's a thrilling kind of fear and sexually titillating to me.  I really have to give my all to him to get through those times, and then feel closer at the end.  If I were afraid of him, I'd just get out of there as soon as I could and run like hell.

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Fear of your Master - 1/16/2008 7:58:54 AM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

ps (personal opinion)
If a profil says Sadist and uses the word Fear    stay away



Not unless you like fear play  *eg*

My Lord is a sadist and fear during play and sex is just an added spice for us.  Whenever we play there is usually an undercurrent of fear for me.  I know that he can cause more pain than I am comfortable with and he enjoys it immensely.  When we have sex, he will sometimes do things that trigger my fears.  It makes for some pretty intense times between us and I love it.

On the other hand, I have the knowledge that he will not intentionally harm me, so the fear isn't fear of him.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to Justme696)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Fear of your Master - 1/16/2008 8:06:17 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		i see "fear" used as a bully technique to forced the person into submission.  if Daddy had used such tactic, we wouldn't be compatiable for each other.  instead He used compassion and love as well as friendship to gain my trust and then my submission.

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(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Fear of your Master - 1/16/2008 8:24:57 AM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline 		I think there is a healthy kind of fear like so many have already mentioned...but to be with someone that intentionally cause you to be afraid or would use fear in an intimate setting to manipulate is not someone that I would consider worth getting to know. Thats just me...your mileage may vary.

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(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Fear of your Master - 1/16/2008 10:53:02 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

I think there is a healthy kind of fear like so many have already mentioned...but to be with someone that intentionally cause you to be afraid or would use fear in an intimate setting to manipulate is not someone that I would consider worth getting to know. Thats just me...your mileage may vary.


Agree. But I still have the opinion that when Fear is mentioned..preparation should be done extra carefull.

I am curious how sadists trust eachother...or how they check their limits. and so on....anyone?

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(in reply to breatheasone)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Fear of your Master - 1/16/2008 11:31:25 AM   
daddyncherry


Posts: 656
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline 		Without yet reading too many responses....

i used to have the desire to "fear" the man i was with (using past tense because it is a past tense thought)....i expected to be afraid of punishments (yet my Daddy doesn't ever punish with pain)...

What he helped me see is that eventually you submit out of fear, fear of punishment but you really aren't submitting if you are doing it just to avoid being punished for something...He never forces my submission i either do it or i could leave (not really an option in my mind or heart) soooo there is the fear of displeasing him and of losing him but not fear of punishment.


_____________________________

Hugs,
cherry

Walking through life, and fear with a smile on my face.
Walking directly through the eye of the hurricane...and through to the other side..without fear....realizing everything will be okay. :)

being obedient 1day at a time

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Fear of your Master - 1/16/2008 11:33:56 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

What he helped me see is that eventually you submit out of fear, fear of punishment but you really aren't submitting if you are doing it just to avoid being punished for something.


that is what i mean the whole time.
Now I am curious why people want it..and how they learn to trust eachother.


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~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to daddyncherry)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Fear of your Master - 1/16/2008 12:06:15 PM   
Honsoku


Posts: 422
Joined: 6/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

quote:

What he helped me see is that eventually you submit out of fear, fear of punishment but you really aren't submitting if you are doing it just to avoid being punished for something.


that is what i mean the whole time.
Now I am curious why people want it..and how they learn to trust eachother.



For real "run away!" sort of fear? The submissive doesn't develop trust, as that kind of fear requires unpredictability and feeling threatened. People may seek it out for the same reason people watch horror movies, go on roller coasters, bungee jump, etc. That sort of fear provides an endorphin high that can become addictive.

For the "healthy" sort of fear? The submissive does develop trust because the person is predictable and though the submissive feels weak/small/overwhelmed, she does not feel like she is in danger. Some of them like the feeling of being overwhelmed, some like the feeling of safety from the world by their association with power, and some like knowing that their will be repercussions for their misbehavior (there are probably other reasons as well).

(in reply to Justme696)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Fear of your Master - 1/16/2008 12:14:09 PM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline 		But how do sadist know when to stop...does a safety  word help?

I am sure I have a way wrong image of sadists propably.


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~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to Honsoku)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Fear of your Master - 1/16/2008 12:17:39 PM   
Sabot762


Posts: 3
Joined: 11/9/2004
From: Waterford, MI
Status: offline 		The only fear a submissive/slave should have is fear of disappointing her/his master. Yes they should have a good respect for discipline/punishment but never fear it.
Master Howard


(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Fear of your Master - 1/16/2008 12:21:08 PM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sabot762

The only fear a submissive/slave should have is fear of disappointing her/his master. Yes they should have a good respect for discipline/punishment but never fear it.
Master Howard




that is my view too, but there seem to be others. I am damn curious about a response from some one sadistic...best a couple


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~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to Sabot762)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Fear of your Master - 1/16/2008 12:40:03 PM   
Honsoku


Posts: 422
Joined: 6/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

But how do sadist know when to stop...does a safety word help?

I am sure I have a way wrong image of sadists propably.



From your friendly neighborhood sadist;

Stopping as a sadist is a bit like knowing your tolerance for alcohol (and hers). Too little and you don't feel anything, too much or the wrong types and one of you passes out or pukes (sometimes literally), just the right amount and you have a pleasant buzz. Most sadists have limits to what they will dish out and most masochists have limits to what they will take in regards to both intensity and type of pain. Start slow, learn to read reactions and start to get a feel for both of your limits, as everyone is different. Know your partner, know yourself, and drink plenty of fluids afterwards to avoid a hangover .

Safe words are like airbags, when they are deployed the wreck has already happened and all that is left is damage control. That doesn't mean that they aren't a good idea, just that relying on them isn't wise.

< Message edited by Honsoku -- 1/16/2008 12:46:06 PM >

(in reply to Justme696)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Fear of your Master - 1/16/2008 12:46:11 PM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline 		hé thank you for the insight 

_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to Honsoku)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Fear of your Master - 1/16/2008 1:06:11 PM   
girlygurl


Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline 		I wouldn't be in a relationship where I feared the person.  Speaking for myself, I see nothing positive about being in a constant state of fear.  Do I fear disappointing Him, of course, but I do not fear the man.

For those of us who grew up in a constant state of fear... umm yea, those types of people are the last types I want to submit to, as a matter of fact, if anything it makes me consider dominating their ass, and show em' what fear is.  oops... too much information

Which leads me to another thought... I can submit to someone that I respect but submit to someone that I don't repect...... hell no!

girly

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i see You

happily forever one

(in reply to Justme696)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Fear of your Master - 1/16/2008 1:14:28 PM   
TMaster2


Posts: 194
Joined: 2/25/2006
Status: offline 		Fear of life and/or limb?  certainly no room for that, IMO.  But I do want her to have that little tingling toe-curling bit of (perhaps) fear, wondering what I might do next.  I don't like the thought it would be a "dread" of what I might do, but just the awareness of the unknown situations I might (and always hope and try to) come up with.  I like it when her eyes get big, her face perhaps paling at first but then changing to blush ;)

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(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 40
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