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Dominant Spanking? - 1/16/2008 5:11:13 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		Do dominant men or women get spanked or is this a submissive act?
I'm guilty of always thinking of it as being submissive.  It would be a turn off for me to find out that my dominant liked getting spanked.  Am I completely off base with this thought?  Are there purely dominant and submissive acts?

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RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/16/2008 5:15:13 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		No, there are not.

Many dominants bottom, many dominants are masochists, many dominants are also submissives.

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RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/16/2008 5:15:41 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I see it more as top/bottom and sensation acts than I do as dom/sub traits.  But I would probably be weirded out if a dom asked me to spank him.  Confused yet?

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RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/16/2008 5:16:27 PM   
Phin


Posts: 1802
Joined: 2/26/2007
Status: offline 		there are no purely dominate or submissive act, it is the desire involved that makes the act dominate or submissive.

I am not submissive but I am a bit masochistic, so I will take a spanking

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RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/16/2008 5:19:41 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I'm a spanko from wayyyyyy back.........and I think it's just another thing, and it can be submissive or dominant if you want to put that spin on it, but overall, not really.  It can just be a fun thing that you want done to you, like CBT, or waxing, or bondage. 

From my POV, there is submission, and bottoming, and sensation play, and from the outside, they can all look pretty similar, but it does depend on why you are doing it and how you feel.  I feel sorry for those folks who feel too domly to do stuff that they enjoy for fear of how others will perceive them. 

As to what turns a person on or off, well, we each have our "things", and if you feel put off by the idea of your dom bottoming, well, that's how you are.  You are definitely not alone in feeling that way!   Is it just the spanking that would turn you off, or would you also be put off by a guy wanting to do a hook suspension?  (maybe too extreme an example, but those are the kinds of peeps I hang with...) 

As to whether there are purely dominant or submissive ACTS, well, how about dominance and submission?  I couldn't begin to know how to submit, ever. 



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RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/16/2008 5:21:12 PM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		i'd spank you Phin....

meanwhile....

the action of spanking is of recieving sensation...granted typically painful sensation...but it is not Dominant, nor submissive...if a Dominant order his submissive to give him a spanking, and the submissive refused, she would be refusing his to follow his orders....the only "Un-Dominant" or "un-submissive" part of this senario is that the submissive is refusing to follow his orders...now there may be more to the specific situation - the submissive does not top, the submissive does not top their Dominant - but confining it to only the senario...the only thing done out of role, is the submissive is refusing to follow orders...

my $1.50
chelle


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RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/16/2008 5:22:31 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		I'm always confused...
There are certain acts that are stereotypical for me.  I just can't imagine someone like LaM, who's definitely dominant, telling his slave to spank him.
I could be wrong.

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RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/16/2008 5:22:57 PM   
takenbyjohnr07


Posts: 787
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		i wouldn't dare. So i'll never be able to answer that question.  :)

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RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/16/2008 5:25:17 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

i'd spank you Phin....

meanwhile....

the action of spanking is of recieving sensation...granted typically painful sensation...but it is not Dominant, nor submissive...if a Dominant order his submissive to give him a spanking, and the submissive refused, she would be refusing his to follow his orders....the only "Un-Dominant" or "un-submissive" part of this senario is that the submissive is refusing to follow his orders...now there may be more to the specific situation - the submissive does not top, the submissive does not top their Dominant - but confining it to only the senario...the only thing done out of role, is the submissive is refusing to follow orders...

my $1.50
chelle

 

OK...I can buy the sensation aspect so what about something that isn't based on physical sensation.  What about crawling?  NO pain involved.  Would a dominant crawl or is that too submissive?

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RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/16/2008 5:26:27 PM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

I'm always confused...
There are certain acts that are stereotypical for me.  I just can't imagine someone like LaM, who's definitely dominant, telling his slave to spank him.
I could be wrong.


some would argue that recieving oral is a submissive action, because the person giving can be in control....
others would argue that giving oral is a submissive action, because it is a service....

it is all about perspective...free your mind, neo....

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

OK...I can buy the sensation aspect so what about something that isn't based on physical sensation.  What about crawling?  NO pain involved.  Would a dominant crawl or is that too submissive?


what is the purpose?  typically, from what i have seen, crawling is used as a method to subjugate the submissive...therefore it is a submissive act....


< Message edited by chellekitty -- 1/16/2008 5:27:55 PM >

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RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/16/2008 5:27:54 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968
I'm always confused...
There are certain acts that are stereotypical for me.  I just can't imagine someone like LaM, who's definitely dominant, telling his slave to spank him.
I could be wrong.

As long as you openly admit you hold false stereotypes then it won't be much of a problem.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/16/2008 5:30:59 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968
I'm always confused...
There are certain acts that are stereotypical for me.  I just can't imagine someone like LaM, who's definitely dominant, telling his slave to spank him.
I could be wrong.

As long as you openly admit you hold false stereotypes then it won't be much of a problem.


Believe me,  I know I do. 

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RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/16/2008 5:31:17 PM   
Phin


Posts: 1802
Joined: 2/26/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

i'd spank you Phin....

you would have to catch me first...
quote:


my $1.50
damn the inflation, never sure yours was ever worth the $.02

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"Isn't wonderful when our bruises show what we hide in the back of our heads?"Fayetteville band, Nephilym

"He is my angel, my devil, my naughty boy, but above anything else my Master"My girl sin

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RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/16/2008 5:32:21 PM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline 		chases Aileen with a paddle!!

this is how you top from the bottom!!!




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RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/16/2008 5:55:03 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		I dont think its a subsmissive act, bottoms ( no pun intended) like to recieve sensation and spanking is just one way of doing that. Some people say anal sex is submissive, I don't believe that either, it just depends on who you ask.

~Lashra


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RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/16/2008 6:00:54 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		I wouldn't crawl it doesn't give any sensation that I would want. Plus my knees wouldn't be able to take it. I'll take a spanking because I like how it feels and I will be ordering him to do so, but crawl around? Nope holds nothiing for me.

~Lashra


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“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






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RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/16/2008 6:04:49 PM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline 		MasterFireMaam recounted a scene she wittnessed, in which an "s" type had her "D" type on a St Andrews cross. MasterFireMaam said heard the girl ask her "D" type..."Master can I hurt you some more?" So no....its not just a submissive's desire. No more then wanting to inflict pain is just a Dominant's desire.

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RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/16/2008 6:25:46 PM   
tricia


Posts: 231
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		"my name is tricia and i openly admit i hold false stereotypes."  The thought of spanking my dominant not only makes me raise an eyebrow -- it repulses me.  I'm sure it happens, I'm just thanking goodness it isn't happening in my relationship.  I do see certain acts as submissive and others as dominant.  I read the boards, I read the opinions but I don't think i'm ever going to change this way of thinking.

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RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/16/2008 6:28:37 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Tricia I think it's cool.  I often read things here and think the thing we aren't supposed to think or the thing that we are allowed to think, but not admit: 
my kink > your kink
And sometimes I don't feel bad about feeling that way.


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RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/16/2008 6:30:14 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tricia

"my name is tricia and i openly admit i hold false stereotypes."  The thought of spanking my dominant not only makes me raise an eyebrow -- it repulses me.  I'm sure it happens, I'm just thanking goodness it isn't happening in my relationship.  I do see certain acts as submissive and others as dominant.  I read the boards, I read the opinions but I don't think i'm ever going to change this way of thinking.

Ditto, tricia.  Whatever anyone else enjoys is great.  FOR ME, I could not spank or otherwise "top" or hurt Master.  I am so thankful He does not desire for me to do so.  I suppose I could but I do not think I could enjoy it in any way.  Frankly, it would make my view of Him change alot.  Not the enlightened, cool answer?  Sorry, it's my truth.............luci

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