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RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/16/2008 8:54:08 PM

Vendaval

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Well, most Dominants will crawl around on the ground when their contact lens pops out and the slave is all tied up....

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

OK...I can buy the sensation aspect so what about something that isn't based on physical sensation. What about crawling? NO pain involved. Would a dominant crawl or is that too submissive?

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RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/16/2008 8:58:01 PM

Lordandmaster

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Sure. Sometimes I like woman-on-top. I like lickin' pussy, too. Some dingbats will tell you that's submissive. There's no telling what someone will consider submissive.

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

LaM are there activities you enjoy that others might label submissive that you would order?

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RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/16/2008 9:02:20 PM

cloudboy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Many dominants bottom, many dominants are masochists, many dominants are also submissives.

Seems to me I would substitute "few" for "many" here.

Seems also you might be describing "switches" instead of "dominants."

quote:

LaM: If a dom enjoyed being smacked on the ass, I'd just say that he or she enjoys being smacked on the ass, not being spanked.

Now that's a distinction with difference.

< Message edited by cloudboy -- 1/16/2008 9:08:19 PM >

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RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/16/2008 9:15:22 PM

laurell3

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No cloudboy she's not describing switches.

It is not uncommon for D types to have some masochism or enjoy activities that others might label submissive. Prostate stimulation is a good example. The fact that a D type who never switches enjoys an activity that might be considered submissive does not make them less of a Dominant. The person that is able to retain authority is the Dominant, acts are not dominant unless the authority is transferred. I've met plenty of D types that fit these descriptions that would raise holy hell if you suggested they switched. Thinking in absolutes and seeing people as roles is what creates confusion. If they are dominant to you and remain dominant to you isn't that what counts?

< Message edited by laurell3 -- 1/16/2008 9:17:02 PM >

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RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/16/2008 9:24:43 PM

BitaTruble

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

Do dominant men or women get spanked or is this a submissive act?
I'm guilty of always thinking of it as being submissive. It would be a turn off for me to find out that my dominant liked getting spanked. Am I completely off base with this thought? Are there purely dominant and submissive acts?

Lots of answers here already, so I'll just chime in with my opinion that there are acts which are submissive. Groveling comes to mind and it's not the only one which comes to mind.

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RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/16/2008 9:27:16 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Well I would say someone who is a dominant and a submissive would generally be a switch- but switch is just an easier way of saying "dominant and submissive." Masochist or bottom though, not necessarily.

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RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/16/2008 10:13:14 PM

Lordandmaster

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It's like the difference between being whipped and being chastised. I don't think a dom can be chastised (at least not by a sub).

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

quote:

LaM: If a dom enjoyed being smacked on the ass, I'd just say that he or she enjoys being smacked on the ass, not being spanked.

Now that's a distinction with difference.

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RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/16/2008 10:28:53 PM

lovewithoutfear

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Lady Hibiscus wrote:
"I do see how it would mess with the dynamic, unless you had a dom maso/sub sadist pair. In which case I would pay money to watch!"

My reply:

I also can see, and respect, how for some people it might mess with the dynamic. For me it hasn't, but that doesn't make me more evolved or better than others. But here's my experience FWIW.

On rare occasions I have had the incredible honor of Sir putting me "in charge" for short periods of time (like an evening), or asking me to top him in a short SM scene. I enjoy it and have learned a great deal from it. For me, being in charge of another person, choosing their experiences and sensations for them, is an incredibly **humbling** and powerful experience, one I would not have missed for the world. It has increased by a thousandfold my respect for Sir, and my appreciation for the responsibility and caring he shows towards me. It has fostered my devotion to him.

I am also coming into my own Dominance and toppish leanings, and whom better to try these things out with than the one I trust the most?

To me there is something extra beautiful in the obedience and trust of someone I know to be Dominant. In my experience, his offering me this opportunity is a very Dominant act on his part, the caring and teaching act of a loving and wise Dominant.

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Post #: 48

RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/17/2008 1:34:16 AM

Justme696

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

I'm always confused...
There are certain acts that are stereotypical for me. I just can't imagine someone like LaM, who's definitely dominant, telling his slave to spank him.
I could be wrong.

I personally wouldn't accept that or ask that. I don't mind a slap on my ass when she is playfull and i pass in front of her. I like to wrestle a little with my girl. But letting me spank..mm no.

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RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/17/2008 1:37:02 AM

Justme696

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

It's like the difference between being whipped and being chastised. I don't think a dom can be chastised (at least not by a sub).

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

quote:

LaM: If a dom enjoyed being smacked on the ass, I'd just say that he or she enjoys being smacked on the ass, not being spanked.

Now that's a distinction with difference.

chastised = whipping for punishment
whipping = pleasure

i pressume?

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RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/17/2008 3:08:20 AM

RCdc

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I am more of the belief of the motive behind the action, rather than their being specific acts that are inherently dominant or submissive.
I would have no difficulty commiting a sadistic action on a masochistic tendancy.

the.dark.

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Post #: 51

RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/17/2008 3:22:19 AM

Justme696

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quote:

I would have no difficulty commiting a sadistic action on a masochistic tendancy.

I have a problem making a distinction between maso and sadistic. Can you give an example, please?

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RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/17/2008 3:37:06 AM

RCdc

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Masochistic would be enjoyment from receiving pain.
Sadistic would be enjoyment administering pain.

Before I met Darcy, I was primarily submissive with sadistic tendancies. Our relationship and his desires cause me to enjoy the experience of pain, so under him, I am masochistic. I am sexually aware of pain inflicted and enjoy it, but only under Darcy's control. However, the ability to cause sadistic actions (give pain as a pleasure) is still inherent in me.
Does that make any sense?

the.dark.

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RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/17/2008 3:40:35 AM

MRandme

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i happen to know of a Dom/Domme couple who happily admit they are both painsluts. When they don't have a sub to play with, they "beat on each other for fun". Neither feels the other is submitting to them during this, nor does the one doing the 'beating' feel that the other is less for wanting it. They seem to have a great balance in their relationship. i doubt either would call themselves submissive in any way.

g

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RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/17/2008 3:44:59 AM

Justme696

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Masochistic would be enjoyment from receiving pain.
Sadistic would be enjoyment administering pain.

Before I met Darcy, I was primarily submissive with sadistic tendancies. Our relationship and his desires cause me to enjoy the experience of pain, so under him, I am masochistic. I am sexually aware of pain inflicted and enjoy it, but only under Darcy's control. However, the ability to cause sadistic actions (give pain as a pleasure) is still inherent in me.
Does that make any sense?

the.dark.

Yes it sure does make things clear. Thank you :)

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RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/17/2008 3:46:05 AM

Justme696

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MRandme

i happen to know of a Dom/Domme couple who happily admit they are both painsluts. When they don't have a sub to play with, they "beat on each other for fun". Neither feels the other is submitting to them during this, nor does the one doing the 'beating' feel that the other is less for wanting it. They seem to have a great balance in their relationship. i doubt either would call themselves submissive in any way.

g

If they are happy with it, and who are we to judge, then that is a great solution. Those 2 are lucky

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Post #: 56

RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/17/2008 4:18:38 AM

MsCece2u

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It's been a long time since I posted anything but this topic caught my eye and I enjoyed reading the many responses so I thought I would chime in with my .25. I know many dominants who enjoy a good spanking however they will not allow their submissive to administer it. As was stated in an earlier post they feel it would mess with the dynamics of their relationship. I know submissives who enjoy topping from time to time but will not top their dominant. Basically it's like apples and oranges. If it floats your boat do it if it doesn't let it go. We all have things that would turn us off and its these types of things that should be discussed in the beginning of any relationship and not sprung up after you have been together for awhile.

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RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/17/2008 7:10:12 AM

cloudboy

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I can accept that.

LA is a big proponent of people being whatever they want to be, and she's usually against using BDSM as tool of holding the human spirit back. Even she thought my switch point had some application,though.

On the other hand, linguistic and categorical relativism can undermine the meaning of the terms we use: say dominant or submissive.

I'm not nearly as elastic as LA. At a certain point I think a line gets crossed --- and the dominant can become something else based on the things he does.

Put another way, I don't think a person can do anything they want and self define at the same time. We are instead our choices and behaviors, not the labels or terms we chose.

< Message edited by cloudboy -- 1/17/2008 7:15:25 AM >

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RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/17/2008 7:12:39 AM

Justme696

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsCece2u

It's been a long time since I posted anything but this topic caught my eye and I enjoyed reading the many responses so I thought I would chime in with my .25. I know many dominants who enjoy a good spanking however they will not allow their submissive to administer it. As was stated in an earlier post they feel it would mess with the dynamics of their relationship. I know submissives who enjoy topping from time to time but will not top their dominant. Basically it's like apples and oranges. If it floats your boat do it if it doesn't let it go. We all have things that would turn us off and its these types of things that should be discussed in the beginning of any relationship and not sprung up after you have been together for awhile.

Agree 100% discuss it and if it is ok for both, then enjoy it ;)

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RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/17/2008 8:06:29 AM

subtee

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This is one of those things that makes me kinda nauseous to consider (for myself; I’m not judging anyone else). I have no inclination to top…I’m pretty confident that I couldn’t dominate a man, not even for an hour…
Not on a boat, not in a moat, not in the rain, he’s getting no pain.

It would be like telling me to become short or, hell, to grow a penis.

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