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RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/16/2008 6:37:39 PM   
SirJohnMandevill


Posts: 546
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline 		Just my very own personal .02 zlotys: If there's any spanking, blindfolding, ordering to crawl, flogging, restraining, etc...I'll be doing it, not my submissive.

Well, except maybe a faux birthday spanking (February 25)....

Les (Purveyor of Fine, Handcrafted Kink)

_____________________________

Iam an eroticist
I am a fully eroticized being
No more neuroses
I found my strip naked soul soup
With the deviant ingredient
---The B-52s

(in reply to slaveluci)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/16/2008 6:39:50 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

quote:

ORIGINAL: tricia

"my name is tricia and i openly admit i hold false stereotypes."  The thought of spanking my dominant not only makes me raise an eyebrow -- it repulses me.  I'm sure it happens, I'm just thanking goodness it isn't happening in my relationship.  I do see certain acts as submissive and others as dominant.  I read the boards, I read the opinions but I don't think i'm ever going to change this way of thinking.

Ditto, tricia.  Whatever anyone else enjoys is great.  FOR ME, I could not spank or otherwise "top" or hurt Master.  I am so thankful He does not desire for me to do so.  I suppose I could but I do not think I could enjoy it in any way.  Frankly, it would make my view of Him change alot.  Not the enlightened, cool answer?  Sorry, it's my truth.............luci


I couldn't do it, either.

Unless of course I wanted him to beat the living hell out of me and not in a good way.  He would never allow it - - ever.  No really - ever!! 

(in reply to slaveluci)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/16/2008 6:42:38 PM   
piercedntattooed


Posts: 43
Joined: 3/10/2005
Status: offline 		i am a submissive, i am a masochist
my Master, He is Dominant, spanking Him would do nothing for me and His request to be spanked would turn me off completely
but that is something He would not request
He takes pleasure from the pain He gives to me...

(in reply to slaveluci)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/16/2008 6:43:25 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I am thinking that many doms who are into bottoming wouldn't necessarily approach their subs for it.....I do see how it would mess with the dynamic, unless you had a dom maso/sub sadist pair.  In which case I would pay money to watch!

I will always feel that giving someone a blow job is an ultimate act of physical dominance.  I have teeth, and I know how to use them!



_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/16/2008 6:49:55 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
I couldn't do it, either.

Unless of course I wanted him to beat the living hell out of me and not in a good way.  He would never allow it - - ever.  No really - ever!! 

Same here.  Master has zero interest in me spanking, topping, hurting, etc. Him.  Zero.  He would never allow it either..............luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/16/2008 6:58:10 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		If you give someone a massage, is that dominant or submissive? Could be either. But if you massage them with a flogger does that massage suddenly mean you're a dominant?

What about a deep tissue massage, very painful. If you get one are you therefore a submissive or a masochist? Or just someone who threw their back out and is trying to end the pain?

Activities just are. They have no intent tied in with them. And it is intent that makes the difference.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to slaveluci)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/16/2008 7:21:48 PM   
txnights05


Posts: 51
Joined: 7/12/2005
Status: offline 		~fr~

my name is pam and i openly admit i hold false stereotypes....

spanking, flogging, beating, caning... the very nature of these words denotes activities done to one person by another in authority.

Children don't spank parents,  prisoners don't flog, beat or cane their guards... and this submissive would have a real hard time trying to turn it around and seeing it another way. I would see it as a significant sign of disrespect to ever raise a hand in any way towards my dominant. Understanding even if he wanted it, it would weird me out and probably cause some terrible emotional distress.



< Message edited by txnights05 -- 1/16/2008 7:25:03 PM >

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/16/2008 7:39:36 PM   
Hotch


Posts: 267
Joined: 5/13/2004
Status: offline 		I'll pass on the spanking, but I do love a good caning on occasion.  I get to satisfy my inner masochistic while also tickling my sadistic funny bone because the caner is pretty uncomfortable doing this and it take a considerable amount of encouragement to get her to put any stank on it.  Oh what a tangled web we weave...

(in reply to txnights05)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/16/2008 7:47:13 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

OK...I can buy the sensation aspect so what about something that isn't based on physical sensation.  What about crawling?  NO pain involved.  Would a dominant crawl or is that too submissive?


Our Lord has knelt in front of Alandra and I and washed our feet.  It is a ritual that he established last year to honor the anniversaries of our relationship (his and Alandra's with me and his with Alandra).  It is one way for him to express his gratitude for our submission to him.  I find it a very humbling and emotional experience, but in no way is he submitting to either of us when he does it.

~edited to add... he has mentioned several times that one day he wants to have Alandra and I top him at a play party.  He will be completely in control of the situation and we will do exactly what we are told to do.

Knight's Kyra

< Message edited by kyraofMists -- 1/16/2008 7:50:26 PM >

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/16/2008 7:49:02 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

OK...I can buy the sensation aspect so what about something that isn't based on physical sensation.  What about crawling?  NO pain involved.  Would a dominant crawl or is that too submissive?


Our Lord has knelt in front of Alandra and I and washed our feet.  It is a ritual that he established last year to honor the anniversaries of our relationship (his and Alandra's with me and his with Alandra).  It is one way for him to express his gratitude for our submission to him.  I find it a very humbling and emotional experience, but in no way is he submitting to either of us when he does it.

Knight's Kyra


This is a good example of how I feel about this (and it's very touching, thanks kyra).  Dominance is a package deal.  If they have it they do and I don't care what they tell me to do it isn't going to make me think they are submissive.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/16/2008 7:51:44 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		For many of us, there is a separation of Top/bottom from Dom/sub or Master/slave. I know many masochistic Masters and sadistic slaves.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/16/2008 7:53:29 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

I'm always confused...
There are certain acts that are stereotypical for me.  I just can't imagine someone like LaM, who's definitely dominant, telling his slave to spank him.
I could be wrong.


How about a Fem Dom telling her slave to fuck her harder? Can you see that? Same thing; it's what she wants and she's controling that. Maybe that helps.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/16/2008 8:00:33 PM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline 		I  lightly flogged a Dom a couple of weeks ago and he enjoyed it. He compared it to a back scratch. I didn't see it as submissive in any way because he was in control the entire time. I can see a Dom getting spanked as a punishment in certain situations (ex. if he severely punished his sub for something she didn't do, refused to believe her denials, and the sub was able to prove her innocence after the harsh punishment). In that case, I would think of it as just retaliation, not the dom giving up his domliness. Then, there's the whole bratty sub thing where she comes up behind him, smacks his ass, and attempts to run for cover. Doms are so fun to pick on lol.

_____________________________


Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.


Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

(in reply to txnights05)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/16/2008 8:00:49 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

This is a good example of how I feel about this (and it's very touching, thanks kyra).  Dominance is a package deal.  If they have it they do and I don't care what they tell me to do it isn't going to make me think they are submissive.


My pleasure, laurell.  The first time we did this was at an event and I think we were all in tears.  It was very emotional and afterwards I just wanted to sit at his feet because I was so humbled by it.

I hope you are having a wonderful New Year.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/16/2008 8:02:24 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

This is a good example of how I feel about this (and it's very touching, thanks kyra).  Dominance is a package deal.  If they have it they do and I don't care what they tell me to do it isn't going to make me think they are submissive.


My pleasure, laurell.  The first time we did this was at an event and I think we were all in tears.  It was very emotional and afterwards I just wanted to sit at his feet because I was so humbled by it.

I hope you are having a wonderful New Year.

Knight's Kyra


I am thanks Kyra.  I hope the move and adjustments are going well.  I can tell from your posts you are happy.
l

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/16/2008 8:03:48 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists
Our Lord has knelt in front of Alandra and I and washed our feet.  It is a ritual that he established last year to honor the anniversaries of our relationship (his and Alandra's with me and his with Alandra).  It is one way for him to express his gratitude for our submission to him.  I find it a very humbling and emotional experience, but in no way is he submitting to either of us when he does it

As laurell said, that is beautiful, Kyra.  I totally understand what you're saying.  Master regularly expresses His gratitude as well.  I guess I just see that as something totally separate from physical activities.  Him telling me and showing me His gratitude is one thing.  Him having me whip Him would be totally different.  We can both accept the former but the latter appeals to neither of us.  As so many others have said here and previously (and as we both touched on just yesterday in a thread), the dominant partner has the authority and however he/she chooses to use that authority is fine.  If Knight or any other dom commands his sub/slave to "top" him, then so be it.  Definitely his perogative...............luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/16/2008 8:15:06 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists
Our Lord has knelt in front of Alandra and I and washed our feet.  It is a ritual that he established last year to honor the anniversaries of our relationship (his and Alandra's with me and his with Alandra).  It is one way for him to express his gratitude for our submission to him.  I find it a very humbling and emotional experience, but in no way is he submitting to either of us when he does it

As laurell said, that is beautiful, Kyra.  I totally understand what you're saying.  Master regularly expresses His gratitude as well.  I guess I just see that as something totally separate from physical activities.  Him telling me and showing me His gratitude is one thing.  Him having me whip Him would be totally different.  We can both accept the former but the latter appeals to neither of us.  As so many others have said here and previously (and as we both touched on just yesterday in a thread), the dominant partner has the authority and however he/she chooses to use that authority is fine.  If Knight or any other dom commands his sub/slave to "top" him, then so be it.  Definitely his perogative...............luci


In this post you have touched on what I think makes the difference between an act being an act of dominance, an act of submission or neither.  Motivation makes all the difference for me.  His motivation for kneeling and washing my feet to demonstrate his appreciation for our submission.  My motivation for kneeling and washing his feet is because he instructs me to do it.

Happy New Year to you and your Master.  Thank you for your kind words on the thread on death.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to slaveluci)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/16/2008 8:38:54 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Guilty as charged.  I have all kinds of crazy desires, and being spanked isn't one of them.

I'll explain why.  Like most people on this thread, I don't think there are dominant or submissive ACTS.  I think there are dominant or submissive PEOPLE.  The meaning of an act depends on the circumstances and the orientation of the people involved.  (Edited to add: kyra just explained that very nicely in the post above mine.)

However, I think being spanked is an inherently submissive act because there is an element of discipline and authority to it.  It's not the same thing as being smacked on the ass.  Being spanked is being taken into someone else's custody and submitting to that person's authority.

If a dom enjoyed being smacked on the ass, I'd just say that he or she enjoys being smacked on the ass, not being spanked.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

There are certain acts that are stereotypical for me.  I just can't imagine someone like LaM, who's definitely dominant, telling his slave to spank him.
I could be wrong.


< Message edited by Lordandmaster -- 1/16/2008 8:41:10 PM >

(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/16/2008 8:46:10 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		LaM are there activities you enjoy that others might label submissive that you would order? 

I don't really agree that spanking is submissive although it has more psychological triggers from childhood than most other activities do so I can see where it might be perceived differently by others.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Dominant Spanking? - 1/16/2008 8:48:47 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists
In this post you have touched on what I think makes the difference between an act being an act of dominance, an act of submission or neither.  Motivation makes all the difference for me.  His motivation for kneeling and washing my feet to demonstrate his appreciation for our submission.  My motivation for kneeling and washing his feet is because he instructs me to do it

I totally understand.  I have said that often about the act of performing oral sex.  I serve Him by doing it.  He does not serve me by doing it.  He fulfills His OWN desire to enjoy what He owns. 
quote:

Happy New Year to you and your Master.  Thank you for your kind words on the thread on death

Same to you all.  I hope you are having the time of your life now that you are finally home.  What you said on that thread gave me goosebumps.  I read it to Master and He agreed.  It was beautiful............luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 40
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