DeliberateHand
Posts: 23
Joined: 4/15/2005
From: Illinois, USA
Status: offline
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I will freely admit to this being a huge, primary fetish for Me. Therefore, I've done a lot of research and work on the subject as My life has allowed. I prefer to use a mouth/throat more than have My cock sucked.
Gag reflex varies from person to person. Some positions seem to alleviate the reaction better than others. The shape of the cock (curved upward, sideways, etc.) sometimes indicates a better position. For example, an upwardly curved cock usually goes down more easily when the sub is on their back, hanging their head off of the bed.
Realize that the gag, as a muscle reflex, imparts a physical effect on the Dom's cock. Most specifically, it presses and can squeeze on the sensitive head. Couple the physical sensation with the sound and the visual of a sub struggling and you can see the allure it can have for many Doms.
I've blogged a bit on this subject at alt, and maintain a bit of a shrine/discussion site at a favored chatsite (http://soi.hyperchat.com). I'll share some from My blog at the end of this post.
My first loving, willing forced oral submissive had a very small mouth and it took some real work to wedge the head of My cock past the small hole at the back of her mouth. W/we considered it a huge victory and thrill for U/us both. It was very rewarding on both sides.
I'm only average-sized. The diversity in mouth size and shape can be interesting. With some, hitting the gag reflex is about all the further I can get. With others, passing into the actual throat and just beyond is possible and, in My case, greatly desired.
The act creates a LOT of saliva and fluid. The sub should expel this by pushing it forward and out. Trying to swallow as all of this is going on is difficult. For S/some, the mess is a turn-on as well.
Of course, with harder gag reflexes, spitting up or vomiting is possible. Refraining from eating or drinking much, if you know what's coming, can help reduce the mess, but if the action is triggered, it IS going to happen. Vomiting can be a huge psychological and emotional issue. If this is a possibility, the couple MUST discuss it. The sub needs to know that it is OK. The Dom needs to express it is a necessity, or, in some cases, even part of the goal. Coaching (e.g. telling the sub how well she's doing, how much teh sub is turning the Dom on, what a filthy little slut they are, etc.) can be VERY impotant AND instrumental in achieving goals and success.
Finally, there is no replacement for practice. However, a sub must be safe. Do NOT use vegetables or materials that may break off in the throat (carrot, sausage, banana, etc.)! Always make sure what is going to be used is blunt, rounded, and solid. I've seen success with more rigid dildos as well as the very soft jellies.
My current babyslut, bless her heart, has a terrible gag reflex, but desperately wants to, both, be able to take a cock in her throat, and, of course, please Me to My core. she was very self-conscious about spitting up and throwing up and I was taking it very slow. When I informed her that, during our next session, I was going to shove My cock into her throat, and that if she threw up, I was going to just keep shoving away, she thanked Me. I reminded her how good it felt when she gagged and that if she threw up it wasn't going to bother Me. It made a difference with just that little bit of communication.
I moved her to a rather thick, very soft, 8" jelly dildo. she's made remarkable progress. she's rather tiny with a rather small mouth but a large tongue (I know it sounds odd, but you learn much of the human idiosyncracies of the mouth, throat, etc. in My "hobby" *Laugh*). My average-length cock is more than enough to get to some glorious and rewarding depths. she's far from over her gag reflex but she is SO much better. I reinforce and reward her practice with that toy to O/our mutual delight.
I have found more information, over the years, about specific pieces of learning to take a cock in the throat and would be happy to share them there if some would like. A/any are welcome to mail Me here and I'll send them privately as well. But what is important is the practice. In doing so, it becomes obvious what must be done, usually, and its true benefit is the desensitization of that gag reflex. It MUST become used to being triggered and the reaction dealt with.
Early trainees can benefit from consciously telling themselves to try to swallow when the sensation starts.
With that, I'll include my best blog entry on the subject. I've helped many with this over the years, online, by phone, and in person. It's very do-able if it is something you truly wish to be capable of. Good luck!
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I encountered a thread in a group where a woman asked for advice on how to learn to deep throat. You'll usually hear a few answers on this, but I compiled mine, off-the-cuff, in response to the post.
I've received some good feedback on it so I've decided to include it in my blog. Feel free to comment as you wish:
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It is about practice, certainly. But some are more quickly inclined to be successful than others - just the way it is. So be prepared to be patient. *Smile*
If the cock in your life is informed and willing to be patient, great. However, I would suggest finding a toy cock - jelly preferred in that it's more yielding to bends and tight confines - that is of cock size or just under. The length is what we're more worried about at first, not the girth.
Some exercises to stretch your jaws/mouth a bit before you start is a good idea. Opening your mouth as wide as possible and holding it for a count of three then relaxing and repeating a good 5-6 times is a great start.
From there, practice extending your tongue as far as possible. Yes, the tip should stick out from your mouth. Once out there concentrate on the BACK of your tongue - the part where your mouth starts to curve downward into your throat. Focus on trying to flatten and lower that part of your tongue. Once you've become somewhat conscious of that you're ready for the prop. *Wink*
Open, extend, flatten the back of your tongue, and slowly slide the head of the (toy) cock along your tongue to the back of your throat. When it gets close to the back of your mouth take a partial breath (or a whole breath and exhale half), then press it fully to the back. What's important here is to react when you feel a gag start. When the gag starts, immediately swallow. Yes, swallow around that cock - WHILE still pressing it. Swallow, swallow, swallow and, if your throat is capable or practiced enough it will press into your throat. Then pull it out.
Don't be discouraged if it won't seem to go or if the gag is tough to get past. Practice. Practice and more practice will eventually make this work. Follow the procedure above and you'll get it - eventually, if not immediately. *Grin*
The above may seem a bit simple, but it is the basics that work. I've helped a number of women remotely over the years in achieving this. It CAN be done. I would be happy to answer any other questions or more directly help someone as I have others in the past. Just contact me here. I pay so that standard members can send me mail without it counting against their daily limit.
Good luck. If it's something you REALLY want, don't give up. Even find help. You've made some of that first step - congratulations!
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RE: gag reflex, good or bad? - 
...halp!!!..Tempting 
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