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Safe Word - 1/17/2008 3:42:33 PM   
parttimehotty


Posts: 4002
Joined: 11/19/2007
From: Virginville
Status: offline 		i was just sititng here, reading & i started to wonder how many subs/slaves use that safe word at the 1st sign of pain, or if they use it for what it's intended for, what's that breaking point?
Subs/slaves:  How far do you have to go before you cry out the safe word?

Masters/Mistresses:  When your girl/boy cries out that one word that should make everything stop, do you ever stop, look at the girl/boy and decide he/she can take more?  That he/she's just being a wus?  You've done more in the past and you know he/she can take more.  Or does the flogger hit the floor/you step back w/your hands up?


_____________________________

Resident Virgin
Official Mommy of Jolly & Jilly

Nobody is 'dead' until nobody remembers them
http://www.chkittyclub.com/pages/home.html
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RE: Safe Word - 1/17/2008 3:45:27 PM   
wisteriaV


Posts: 438
Joined: 3/17/2005
Status: offline 		Sorry no safe words here. I guess we have been together long enough where Master knows me.

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Every story has two sides , much like a coin and neither one is totally perfect.
If it doesn't float your boat, then don't get in the water~!

(in reply to parttimehotty)
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RE: Safe Word - 1/17/2008 3:49:34 PM   
daddyncherry


Posts: 656
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline 		We don't use them either, and honestly, i don't think i could use it even if i thought i needed it...it just doesn't occur to me or isn't part of us....i can tell him if something is wrong but that is mostly it....Using a safeword would be like taking a "timeout" and i don't believe in those.

_____________________________

Hugs,
cherry

Walking through life, and fear with a smile on my face.
Walking directly through the eye of the hurricane...and through to the other side..without fear....realizing everything will be okay. :)

being obedient 1day at a time

(in reply to wisteriaV)
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RE: Safe Word - 1/17/2008 3:52:27 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		We do not use safewords.
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to parttimehotty)
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RE: Safe Word - 1/17/2008 3:53:59 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		We do not use them.

(in reply to parttimehotty)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Safe Word - 1/17/2008 3:54:19 PM   
barefootprincess


Posts: 66
Joined: 3/20/2004
Status: offline 		I actuaully believe safewords are computer generated.
Safeword: Its a fairy tail word to lure.

(in reply to parttimehotty)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Safe Word - 1/17/2008 4:01:57 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

We do not use them.


Is there an echo?
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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RE: Safe Word - 1/17/2008 4:05:16 PM   
loverly


Posts: 236
Joined: 1/23/2004
Status: offline 		WHY would You play with someone You needed a safeword with?  would that mean that you dont know them at all or very good? after trust is established and a Master/Mistress knowstheir property.... i would imagin they can be trusted to know you well enough to be able to tell.. if not.. theres something wrong..i believe that safewords were put into use in the clubs back in the day when  leathermen used to go there to play at S&M games casually with strange partners and they needed a way to let the person know to stop! just me thoughts...

(in reply to barefootprincess)
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RE: Safe Word - 1/17/2008 4:05:21 PM   
Honsoku


Posts: 422
Joined: 6/26/2007
Status: offline 		Not everyone uses safe-words.

If the safe-words aren't being used only when something has gone, or is going, wrong, then it undermines the purpose of having one.

How far a submissive/slave will go is not something that can be put down easily (it's like asking how intelligent are you?) and can vary wildly from day to day.

If the dominant continues after the safe-word has been called, then either a massive violation of trust has occurred, or the "safe-word" isn't being used as a safe-word. A safe-word is supposed to be the call for "Stop NOW, something is, or is going, wrong".

< Message edited by Honsoku -- 1/17/2008 4:06:19 PM >

(in reply to parttimehotty)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Safe Word - 1/17/2008 4:08:55 PM   
tricia


Posts: 231
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		my Master and i don't "scene" and we do not use safewords.
 
But -- a quick story -- i played with a very nice couple a few times.  The first time i 'scened' he gave me a little red ball i was too drop if it got too intense, painful, etc.  There were certain points when i felt myself rubbing that ball, circling it with my hand,  screaming to myself that i should drop it -- and i was unable to.  I was very lucky as it seemed i would reach that point and soon after he would stop what he was doing and move on to something else.   My point, i guess, is that safewords are only as good as the people using them.  And i'm a dangerous play partner.

(in reply to parttimehotty)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Safe Word - 1/17/2008 4:13:01 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

We do not use them.


Is there an echo?
 
the.dark.

 
Apparently!  Apparently!  Apparently!.....

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Safe Word - 1/17/2008 4:16:01 PM   
takenbyjohnr07


Posts: 787
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tricia

my Master and i don't "scene" and we do not use safewords.
 

We do however, have a number code that i am to use if i ever need him or i am introuble and he is not there.

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i am the sole property of Johnr. He is the love of my life and the greatest Owner and i will live to serve and, please him only every day of my life.

(in reply to tricia)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Safe Word - 1/17/2008 4:16:53 PM   
SassySarijane


Posts: 1558
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: KC Area Missouri
Status: offline 		I don't use safewords. Don't need them and do much better without them.

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Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers
LPTnB

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Safe Word - 1/17/2008 4:21:50 PM   
Kalista07


Posts: 4240
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline 		*sigh* Well........We don't "scene" and we don't "play"....We've talked about safewords in the past...i'm not sure i see the relevance in them...Because previously when i played with a couple, i had long passed my breaking point and did not utter my safeword...Why? i was afraid to let them down....Like Tricia said, i guess i'm a dangerous play partner.

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“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb


(in reply to SassySarijane)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Safe Word - 1/17/2008 4:39:17 PM   
SirJohnMandevill


Posts: 546
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: parttimehotty

Masters/Mistresses:  When your girl/boy cries out that one word that should make everything stop, do you ever stop, look at the girl/boy and decide he/she can take more?  That he/she's just being a wus?  You've done more in the past and you know he/she can take more.  Or does the flogger hit the floor/you step back w/your hands up?



I gave my former sub two safewords for impact play: "Yellow" meant please slow down and let me recover a bit and "Red" meant STOP now. 

Yeah, kinda lame, but they worked for us and were easy for her to remember in the heat of the moment. 

Les (Purveyor of Fine, Handcrafted Kink)

_____________________________

Iam an eroticist
I am a fully eroticized being
No more neuroses
I found my strip naked soul soup
With the deviant ingredient
---The B-52s

(in reply to parttimehotty)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Safe Word - 1/17/2008 4:44:10 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I don't use a safe word myself.  And I cry out at the first point it hurts because it hurts and I don't like it- unless I've been ordered to try and be as stoic as possible.

This hardly ever happens anymore because I rarely submit to pain now.

But I don't call attention that "somethings wrong" unless something is wrong.  Being in a hell of a lot of pain doesn't mean anything is wrong and I can't imagine why a bottom would call attention to it.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to SirJohnMandevill)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Safe Word - 1/17/2008 4:44:57 PM   
parttimehotty


Posts: 4002
Joined: 11/19/2007
From: Virginville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: loverly

WHY would You play with someone You needed a safeword with?  would that mean that you dont know them at all or very good? after trust is established and a Master/Mistress knowstheir property.... i would imagin they can be trusted to know you well enough to be able to tell.. if not.. theres something wrong..i believe that safewords were put into use in the clubs back in the day when  leathermen used to go there to play at S&M games casually with strange partners and they needed a way to let the person know to stop! just me thoughts...


i never used a safeword before, even when the session become harder/rougher than usual, but it seems that it's what you should do (from what i've read ) when you're w/a new Dom/Domme.  i understand if you've been w/your Dom/Domme long enough where you both know the other one well enough not to need one, but for your 1st few sessions, noone uses a safe word?  i'm more than a little surprised, but on the flip side, i think back to my 1st few sessions and i don't recall ever having one in place, but then i met a "real gentleman" Dom and that's the 1st thing he said, when we started talking.  Gave me the safe word he uses w/subs in training, as a safety net. Not that it would have mattered if he had turned out to be a homicidal maniac.  Safe word for Ted Bundy's sub....."cast".

i just thought i'd pose the question/ponder the responses.  ****tricia, i really like the "red ball" system.  i'd probably squeeze the sh*t out of it before dropping it lest i was labeled a pu$$y***

_____________________________

Resident Virgin
Official Mommy of Jolly & Jilly

Nobody is 'dead' until nobody remembers them
http://www.chkittyclub.com/pages/home.html
http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/clickToGive/home.faces?siteId=3&ThirdPartyClicks=ThankYouCar

(in reply to loverly)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Safe Word - 1/17/2008 4:46:33 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		I have always thought .."HARDER"...was the best safe word

Jeff

(in reply to parttimehotty)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Safe Word - 1/17/2008 4:47:56 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		pth- My suggestion is stop with the whole 'what you are supposed to do'.  You are getting to worked into the system and it's not a healthy place to be.  You do what you are comfortable with and work out what works for you, before you do anything.  Your looking down the barrel of the 'onetrueway' gun - and it's gonna blow your head of big time.
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to parttimehotty)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Safe Word - 1/17/2008 4:57:54 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		You guys still use verbal communication?  I long ago learned telepathy so my connection would be far deeper/more significant/more spiritual than those who "just" do whatever it is you do.

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 20
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