Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Forced submission


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Forced submission Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Forced submission - 1/17/2008 5:17:27 PM   
ferriemistie


Posts: 51
Joined: 1/14/2007
Status: offline 		Over the past few days i've been thinking about how i was introduced into the lifestyle and my first Dom (guess it's since W/we are finalizing O/our divorce this month)

my first Dom forced me to be His slave after W/we got married and to begin with i resisted. After a couple severe punishments i gave in a was a "good girl".. Once i accepted my role i came to realize that i love submitting to Someone and the feeling i got making Someone happy is wonderful. Now when i'm not serving Someone i feel empty and without meaning (so to speak)

Has anyone else been forced into submission just to find out that they enjoy it?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Forced submission - 1/17/2008 5:25:25 PM   
MamaDomme1


Posts: 377
Joined: 1/12/2008
Status: offline 		Just a thought-- if it is forced, then it is abuse and not submission.  I prefer not 'forcing' anything, but would rather coax it along ;)

(in reply to ferriemistie)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Forced submission - 1/17/2008 5:30:19 PM   
totalsubm55


Posts: 2
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline 		If it's truly forced, it's not submission but I think lots of us have a fantasy of forced servitude sometimes.  I do.

(in reply to MamaDomme1)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Forced submission - 1/17/2008 5:33:01 PM   
ferriemistie


Posts: 51
Joined: 1/14/2007
Status: offline 		To begin with He forced me but then i willingly submitted to Him.. (at first it was to just stop the "beatings" but then i actually enjoyed doing it.) Does that make sense

(in reply to totalsubm55)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Forced submission - 1/17/2008 5:33:58 PM   
Honsoku


Posts: 422
Joined: 6/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MamaDomme1

Just a thought-- if it is forced, then it is abuse and not submission. I prefer not 'forcing' anything, but would rather coax it along ;)


If it isn't forced (at some point), it is obedience, not submission. Force does not equal abuse.

(in reply to MamaDomme1)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Forced submission - 1/17/2008 5:34:33 PM   
totalsubm55


Posts: 2
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline 		it does make sense

(in reply to ferriemistie)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Forced submission - 1/17/2008 5:42:18 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: totalsubm55

If it's truly forced, it's not submission but I think lots of us have a fantasy of forced servitude sometimes.  I do.


I have noticed quite a few submissives do and if they could manage to forget about them except for fantasy play time, they can start to learn what it takes to make a healthy power based relationship work.

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to totalsubm55)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Forced submission - 1/17/2008 5:51:30 PM   
SubbieOnWheels


Posts: 590
Joined: 12/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ferriemistie

Has anyone else been forced into submission just to find out that they enjoy it?


I wasn't exactly forced into it, but I found myself in submission almost without realizing what was happening. The play got out of hand because my b/f at the time didn't know what he was doing (got his info from Hustler magazine).

I was traumatized, and it contributed to a lot of problems, including guilty feelings about enjoying what I thought was essentially abuse.

Bethical

_____________________________

Bethical
Beat me, strike me, take away my reindeer! I'll never tell! -- Walt Kelly, Pogo Possum
I yam what I yam - Popeye

http://www.myspace.com/bethical_wheels


(in reply to ferriemistie)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Forced submission - 1/17/2008 5:53:22 PM   
BoundDown


Posts: 76
Joined: 11/25/2007
Status: offline 		I was coaxed along forcefully; I can not say against my will be cause I agreed to it before hand and while I did not want it at the time I had already acknowledged that it was going to have to be done that way.
I had alot of social conditioning to over come, and alot of baggage that could only be checked in such a manner.
I'm better now. Was it the most "healthy" approach: probably not, but truthfully I wasn't what you could call healthy at the time either.

Rest assured ferriemist; you are not alone.

(in reply to ferriemistie)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Forced submission - 1/17/2008 8:51:43 PM   
txnights05


Posts: 51
Joined: 7/12/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Honsoku

If it isn't forced (at some point), it is obedience, not submission. Force does not equal abuse.


I have thought a lot about this recently. I agree with Honsoku in that i need there to be some force of some kind or i don't know if i am submitting or just going along obediently. 

It is an evolving of thought for me and an understanding of my own submission. For me i need to know that whoever is dominating me is in fact in control. When i finally submit i need to know that He won the war.. so to speak. I need to know without a doubt that He is in control and i am not. For that to happen i need there to be some kind of power struggle which He wins and not because i just give in. I need to know that He is more dominant than i am. My submission needs to be taken, if it can, otherwise i will always feel like i have an upper hand in some way.

(in reply to Honsoku)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Forced submission - 1/17/2008 9:10:27 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Honsoku

If it isn't forced (at some point), it is obedience, not submission. Force does not equal abuse.


I disagree.  I don't have to be forced into anything to be submissive.  Obedience refers to actions.  Submissive is to yield to authority.  One is physical, one is mental. 

YMMV.

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Honsoku)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Forced submission - 1/17/2008 9:29:57 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Any coward can beat a woman into submission, to truly tame a woman requires far more.

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Forced submission - 1/17/2008 9:43:14 PM   
KnOcala


Posts: 260
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline 		I believe submission is a gift of ones own free will.  Anything else is abuse.  You don't beat any creature into submission.  Only a coward would beat another into submission.


(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Forced submission - 1/17/2008 9:46:36 PM   
BossyShoeBitch


Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline 		There is not a man alive who can truly force me to do/act anything that I don't want to do. 

_____________________________

A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Forced submission - 1/17/2008 9:48:55 PM   
SubmissiveAK


Posts: 94
Joined: 3/5/2007
Status: offline 		I was introduced to D/s in a rather odd way.

I "asked" a hypnodomme to show me what it was like to be submissive... to show me my submissive side.

She proceeded to attempt to force me into becoming a slave. She was very good at what is called stealth trancing, and NLP. I was a brat then and caused a lot of problems... ultimately I left her, but now I do feel the desire for a 24/7 total power exchange in my life. Did she do this? Was there just an aspect of my inner self that she brought out? I will never know. I'm not sure I want to know. Its a little erotic to think about. I guess gave my consent, but I did not totally understand what would happen. There were many times I was forced by her stern control.

Do I regret meeting her, or what I've become? No. In fact I miss her and the amount of control she held over me. I think ultimately it was good for me, but I acknowledge that now I have a need for someone like her, and that troubles me.

~submissiveAK~

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Forced submission - 1/17/2008 9:57:01 PM   
txnights05


Posts: 51
Joined: 7/12/2005
Status: offline 		 
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Any coward can beat a woman into submission, to truly tame a woman requires far more.


exactly.... "Tame" being the operative word.... sums up what i was trying to say.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Forced submission - 1/17/2008 10:04:19 PM   
slavegirljoy


Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ferriemistie

Has anyone else been forced into submission just to find out that they enjoy it?


i was taken, not forced, into submission and i went gladly and without resistance.  Beating someone into submission isn't what i consider to be a healthy D/s relationship.
 
joy
Owned property of Master David

(in reply to ferriemistie)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Forced submission - 1/17/2008 10:05:46 PM   
BossyShoeBitch


Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SubmissiveAK

I was introduced to D/s in a rather odd way.

I "asked" a hypnodomme to show me what it was like to be submissive... to show me my submissive side.

She proceeded to attempt to force me into becoming a slave. She was very good at what is called stealth trancing, and NLP. I was a brat then and caused a lot of problems... ultimately I left her, but now I do feel the desire for a 24/7 total power exchange in my life. Did she do this? Was there just an aspect of my inner self that she brought out? I will never know. I'm not sure I want to know. Its a little erotic to think about. I guess gave my consent, but I did not totally understand what would happen. There were many times I was forced by her stern control.

Do I regret meeting her, or what I've become? No. In fact I miss her and the amount of control she held over me. I think ultimately it was good for me, but I acknowledge that now I have a need for someone like her, and that troubles me.

~submissiveAK~


OK. could you explain what stealth trancing and NLP is?

_____________________________

A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

(in reply to SubmissiveAK)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Forced submission - 1/17/2008 10:34:31 PM   
ferriemistie


Posts: 51
Joined: 1/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slavegirljoy

quote:

ORIGINAL: ferriemistie

Has anyone else been forced into submission just to find out that they enjoy it?


i was taken, not forced, into submission and i went gladly and without resistance.  Beating someone into submission isn't what i consider to be a healthy D/s relationship.
 
joy
Owned property of Master David


That is exactly why i left Him almost 5 years ago and am getting a divorce from Him (it's taken so long cause He's contested it the whole time til now)


(in reply to slavegirljoy)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Forced submission - 1/17/2008 10:51:55 PM   
Honsoku


Posts: 422
Joined: 6/26/2007
Status: offline 		Force does not necessarily mean physical force, that is only one kind of force (people frequently make the erroneous assumption that force = physical). I said absolutely nothing about beating anyone into submission. Bottom line is that domination requires some form of influence; you can either manipulate someone into wanting to do what you want, or you can "make" them do it. I use "make" in quotations because it is nearly impossible to physically force someone to take an action. Domination always comes down to a contest of wills (unless one side pleads nolo contendere).

quote:

ORIGINAL CalifChick
I disagree. I don't have to be forced into anything to be submissive. Obedience refers to actions. Submissive is to yield to authority. One is physical, one is mental.

YMMV.


How can you separate those two? How can you be obedient without being submissive, or visa-versa? Using that definition, one cannot exist without the other. If the authority is not exerted, there isn't anything to submit to. That exertion of authority is a kind of force (there has to be force of some type, in order for you to yield to it). The question to consider is; what supports that authority?

Really, we need a third term because obedience and submission overlap. All submission requires obedience, but not all obedience requires submission.

< Message edited by Honsoku -- 1/17/2008 11:01:06 PM >

(in reply to KnOcala)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Forced submission Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094