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RE: Name Dropping and a New Term "Time Dropping" - 1/20/2008 7:38:56 PM   
MadRabbit


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

Personally, it's the people who claim to have knowledge, but yet fail to ever share anything besides myopic generalizations and projections that make this kind of thing a bad thing....


"If you want to know what lies on the road ahead, ask those coming back".
 
Knowledge is where you learn what is worthwhile to you.  After experiencing a thing and one has formed their opinion, one tends to enjoy their comfort zone.  Just because someone has not experienced a thing, doesn't make those who have myopic, but you'll find that out down the road.


How about obtuse?

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(in reply to LotusSong)
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RE: Name Dropping and a New Term "Time Dropping" - 1/20/2008 7:43:22 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

So having history and experience and being able to back it up is a bad thing?  Knowledge is a terrible thing to waste because it might not be PC to those with none. The best way to stop this behavior is to never say "oh YEAH?? Prove it!"
 
a Nay here.  It's right p there with their sophomoric "twue" word.  Looks like another type of label and we ALL know how we feel about labels! LOL


Personally, it's the people who claim to have knowledge, but yet fail to ever share anything besides myopic generalizations and projections that make this kind of thing a bad thing....


Rabbit, you summed it up beautifully!  Knowledge and experience are wonderful things but often those with the most are the ones who brag about it least...




I agree. I've also noticed a few people who seem to brag about it all the time on these forums, but never really offer anything that is a testament to that mass collection of BDSM knowledge.

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(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: Name Dropping and a New Term "Time Dropping" - 1/20/2008 8:12:55 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Ownedgirlie,

quote:

  While I sometimes think SimplyMichael has some pretty cool things to say, I also sometimes think he has some pretty uncool things to say, particularly the ways in which he tells people how full of shit he thinks they are.  But of course that is his way and his prerogative, so no big deal. 

The irony I saw was in his calling "name dropping" cheesy, and then continuing on to "time dropping."  From one who "drops names" more often than anyone I've seen on CollarMe (a search brought up 11 threads in which he refers to his relationship with Jay Wiseman and 18 threads in which he brings up Dossie Easton, and in several of those he himself time drops, with statements like, "I grew up with people who played with them"), this whole thread amuses me with its irony.



You need to look at those posts, almost none of those references to Dossie mention I know her and instead simply mention her as an author of great books.  I mention Jay Wisemen often but very rarely to bolster myself or my point.

My reputation in the real world bdsm community is built on what I have done in the real world and since Jay lives here and everyone knows him, my knowing him doesn't mean shit.  In the case of CM, it is built on my words and actions here.  I give brutal and honest advice and in light of that I do my best to reveal my struggles and failures as deeply and as honestly as I can.  THAT is what my reputation (whatever it is) is built upon, not the names of others, nor the time I have spent in the scene.

Name dropping and time dropping refer to using them or doing them as MadRabbit so aptly summed up. 

< Message edited by SimplyMichael -- 1/20/2008 9:02:30 PM >

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: Name Dropping and a New Term "Time Dropping" - 1/20/2008 10:23:32 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael
You need to look at those posts, almost none of those references to Dossie mention I know her and instead simply mention her as an author of great books.  I mention Jay Wisemen often but very rarely to bolster myself or my point.

My reputation in the real world bdsm community is built on what I have done in the real world and since Jay lives here and everyone knows him, my knowing him doesn't mean shit.  In the case of CM, it is built on my words and actions here.  I give brutal and honest advice and in light of that I do my best to reveal my struggles and failures as deeply and as honestly as I can.  THAT is what my reputation (whatever it is) is built upon, not the names of others, nor the time I have spent in the scene.

Name dropping and time dropping refer to using them or doing them as MadRabbit so aptly summed up. 


OK, Michael, I did, and while you're right in that most of your mention of Dossie are in reference to her book, I suppose it was posts like the ones below which is what made your OP here ironic to me.  But I do stand corrected if I misinterpreted.

"You really trying to say people like Midori, Jay Wiseman, Dossie Easton, and others have no experience?  Get real, I grew up meeting people they had played with, I went to Dossie as a therapist almost a decade ago and she had spent the last 30 years playing in SF so before you open your mouth and remove all doubt...go buy a clue."

Quotes like this, in which you were citing your credibility, could be misunderstood as name dropping and "time dropping", also:

"As for me, I have been literally IN the scene for just shy of a decade.  I started a BDSM group that is one of the largest in Sacramento and did a good enough job it has run for years without me.  I have owned a public dungeon.  I have had four significant bdsm relationships spanning that time and a legion of women who I used for a short time.  I have attended classes by almost all the BDSM authors who live in the bay area, Jay Wiseman, Midori, Two Knotty Boys, the one I have missed that I long to see is Cybil Holiday and perhaps John Warren.  I correspond often enough with Jay that I feel comfortable calling him Jay.  I have been to playspaces younger players haven't even heard of.  I have hosted 30-40 bdsm parties, run discussion groups."

Perhaps name/time dropping was not your intention, Michael, but posts like the above do seem to be of that flavor and stood out to me, which is why I thought of them when I read your OP.

But if I am wrong, I apologize.  And just as I may be wrong in understanding your intention, perhaps when you call bullshit on people for this same reason, you have misunderstood, too, eh?

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: Name Dropping and a New Term "Time Dropping" - 1/20/2008 11:12:02 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Funny you should pick that thread to pull quotes from 
http://www.collarchat.com/m_1142381/mpage_1/key_sacramento%252Cjay/tm.htm#1142585

Since I name all that experience and mention all the people I know and amazing and thrilling things I have done...AND THEN SAY THAT EXPERIENCE AND PEOPLE DON'T MEAN SHIT and in fact talk about what a putz I was despite it all!!!!!

What  you failed to quote (and after reading the thread, it makes me wonder what axe you are grinding) was the part where I quite clearly say others here without all that grandiose bullshit have their shit together and are well worth listening to even though they are in essence "just kids" like MadRabbit and LA.


(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: Name Dropping and a New Term "Time Dropping" - 1/20/2008 11:34:44 PM   
ownedgirlie


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Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		No axe, Michael.  As I said in my post, it was an impression I had from some things you wrote which stood out in my mind.   I also apologized if I misinterpreted. 


(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: Name Dropping and a New Term "Time Dropping" - 3/2/2009 8:29:39 AM   
Esstee


Posts: 12
Joined: 1/9/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

We have all heard of "name dropping" which in general means using the names of others to provide authority/experience/knowledge to yourself rather than earn it directly through your own actions.  While cheesy, it does at least have the advantage that it can be verified.

I want to add a new term to the BDSM lexicon, "time dropping" which is much more insidious because it cannot be verified.  "I remember when ...
A
So, "time dropping"...yeah or nay?


So, speaking in bumperstickers, "The older I get the better I was"?

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: Name Dropping and a New Term "Time Dropping" - 3/2/2009 8:32:51 AM   
Esstee


Posts: 12
Joined: 1/9/2009
Status: offline 		Longevity isn't a guarantee of competence.
Some people have been around a long time, nurturing their arrogance while practicing their mistakes. A certain kind of superiority conviction also appears to cause hearing impairment which appears to vary directly with the gestation time of the conviction.

(in reply to Esstee)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: Name Dropping and a New Term "Time Dropping" - 3/2/2009 8:37:35 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I actually tend to veer away from people that name or time drop. I know a lot of famous names and have an interesting "address book". It doesn't mean I can do what they do, at least not well. If so, I wouldn't be here typing. I've also been sketching and playing the piano since I was a short person, I am not good enough at either to be doing them as my source of income. I actually hate playing the piano.

I don't care who you know or how long you've been doing it. It doesn't mean shit. You can still be a putz that is doing it wrong....to me.

I've said it a bazillion times if I've said it once. Common sense and a willingness to learn means more than who you know or how long you've been doing. Especially if you've a fat over inflated ego about it. That only tells me you probably THINK you know more than you really do.


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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: Name Dropping and a New Term "Time Dropping" - 3/2/2009 9:08:29 AM   
pdv99


Posts: 140
Joined: 3/13/2007
From: UK
Status: offline 		Experience is a great thing - if you learn from it.

"I've been doing the same thing for 15 years" doesn't necessarily equate to valuable experience. There are people who've learnt more in one busy year than others do in a lifetime. Experience is also no great substitute for thought, care, consideration or imagination, and maybe I respect those more.

"So you've been a Dominant for ten years...
that don't impress me much,
you may have got the look
but have you got the touch"

with apologies to Shania

(in reply to littlesarbonn)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: Name Dropping and a New Term "Time Dropping" - 3/2/2009 11:49:50 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Nostalgia. I used to walk uphill to school in the snow, both ways.

There problem with memory is that we rewrite them to eliminate stuff we can't face, or to make ourselves look better or various other reasons. No matter what, the truth is we rewrite our memories and they cannot be trusted unless verified by others. Talk over family holidays with siblings and you'll see how one person's greatest Christmas was the other's worst nightmare.

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(in reply to littlesarbonn)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: Name Dropping and a New Term "Time Dropping" - 3/2/2009 12:32:31 PM   
theobserver


Posts: 456
Joined: 8/18/2008
Status: offline 		I dunno, time signifies commitment to me and who doesn't like the idea of stability?

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Profile   Post #: 92
RE: Name Dropping and a New Term "Time Dropping" - 3/2/2009 1:30:55 PM   
cjan


Posts: 3513
Joined: 2/21/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Funny you should pick that thread to pull quotes from 
http://www.collarchat.com/m_1142381/mpage_1/key_sacramento%252Cjay/tm.htm#1142585

Since I name all that experience and mention all the people I know and amazing and thrilling things I have done...AND THEN SAY THAT EXPERIENCE AND PEOPLE DON'T MEAN SHIT and in fact talk about what a putz I was despite it all!!!!!

What  you failed to quote (and after reading the thread, it makes me wonder what axe you are grinding) was the part where I quite clearly say others here without all that grandiose bullshit have their shit together and are well worth listening to even though they are in essence "just kids" like MadRabbit and LA.




Sorry, Michael, but you can't have it both ways .

What interests me, Michael, is how thin-skinned and aggressively defensive you seem to get when called on your shit, while , at the same time, you feel free to diss and criticize folks who don't seem to meet your standards.

Dominance is confidence. Petulance undermines both.

If you choose to respond, please spare me the large font and the excess exclamation points. I can see just fine, thanks.

< Message edited by cjan -- 3/2/2009 1:32:25 PM >

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(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: Name Dropping and a New Term "Time Dropping" - 3/2/2009 4:33:40 PM   
MarsBonfire


Posts: 1034
Joined: 3/6/2005
Status: offline 		Hi, my name is Mars Bonfire, and I am a "time dropper" when I feel it's relevant to mention it.

I like to know the poeple who are giving me their opinon have some experience to base it on. But, that's probably just me. If you'd like to take the advice from someone on this forum who, for all you know, may have gotten their entire knowledge from watching a few porn tapes and reading the "Beauty Trilogy," and have experience any number of edgy scenes (while in their sleep), hey, feel free!

Advice and opinion is something you should take as an average of many voices anyway. If you've asked a question, or are following a thread here... then listen to what the group has to say... not the individual.

And if a few of us like to point out that we've been there, done that... well, if it bothers you, just skip over that part. Some of us like to wear the battle scars and tell the war stories, okay?

Now beat it, kid, ya bother me. :)

(in reply to cjan)
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RE: Name Dropping and a New Term "Time Dropping" - 3/2/2009 5:14:29 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		Speaking about time dropping.. this thread was started over a year ago. Just saying.

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RE: Name Dropping and a New Term "Time Dropping" - 3/4/2009 7:35:24 AM   
Whiplashsmile4


Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline 		What counts the most is who and what we are in the Here and Now (today) and what direction we are headed in tomorrow.   Time Dropping really does not matter much save to make some impression.  There's nothing wrong with giving somebody a good impression either, just make ceratin you can back yourself up in the Here and Now and you'll be alright.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: Name Dropping and a New Term "Time Dropping" - 3/4/2009 10:22:19 AM   
variation30


Posts: 1190
Joined: 12/1/2007
From: Alabama
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

We have all heard of "name dropping" which in general means using the names of others to provide authority/experience/knowledge to yourself rather than earn it directly through your own actions.  While cheesy, it does at least have the advantage that it can be verified.

I want to add a new term to the BDSM lexicon, "time dropping" which is much more insidious because it cannot be verified.  "I remember when honor/respect/martians was better/deeper/harder etc." or whatever other bullshit the poster is spreading.

A person's opinion should stand on its own and not need the shoulders of people or in this case, the past, real or imagined to give it weight.  Of course talking about people you know and times past have their place but like identifying pornography you might not be able to write the perfect definition but you can recognize it when you see it...

So, "time dropping"...yeah or nay?


if you were around bdsm long enough to be trained by the old guard and experience bdsm back when it was real bdsm you'd know that you were wrong.


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RE: Name Dropping and a New Term "Time Dropping" - 3/4/2009 10:30:17 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: variation30
if you were around bdsm long enough to be trained by the old guard and experience bdsm back when it was real bdsm you'd know that you were wrong.



Hmmmm.   Really?

Tell you what.  I'm going to be nice today.  When you want to tell the OP, Myself, or a lot of people on these boards what "real" BDSM is, you come right along and contact Me privately.


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Profile   Post #: 98
RE: Name Dropping and a New Term "Time Dropping" - 3/4/2009 10:35:26 AM   
variation30


Posts: 1190
Joined: 12/1/2007
From: Alabama
Status: offline 		It was a joke, sweetheart. I think name dropping and time dropping is ridiculous as you can't be trained to be a successful dominant or submissive as it's a relationship that is shared between two individuals. Accordingly, each relationship is unique.

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all the good ones are collared or lesbians.

or old.

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Profile   Post #: 99
RE: Name Dropping and a New Term "Time Dropping" - 3/4/2009 11:14:35 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I'll take your joke, kiddo, and raise you one.

"Time dropping" was a new concept to Me when the thread first came up.  I'd never thought of it that way before.  The content of the post was good, and it made Me think.

I do find it a bit different than "name dropping."  One is based on ego and the other is based on others.  I have no shame in the people I've been fortunate enough to meet.  They were good folks.  Probably of the caliber that I would only hope to be.

I wish you well, even if you do have to work on your sense of humor.




_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to variation30)
Profile   Post #: 100
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