laurell3
Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19
quote:
ORIGINAL: laurell3
quote:
ORIGINAL: IrishMist
Missokyst, I am trying hard; real hard; to understand exactly what the fuck you are having trouble with. On one point, you are upset because 9 out of 10 who contact you want sex right away; on another point, you are saying that for you BDSM is sexually charged;
………………yet, on the whole you seem to be saying that you are tired of men contacting you who want to engage in BDSM and sex with you.
So….I am a bit confuzzled as to what the fuck you are really complaining about here.
If it’s just the fact that they want to scene on a first date; then fuck them…you are an adult, you know how to say yes or no…who gives a fuck if they like it or not.
Geesh….IT IS NOT SO FUCKING HARD to be an adult, and ACT LIKE ONE.
LOL IM, blunt but actually very true in my opinion. Look ladies it is a BDSM BOARD. I think having a standard that anyone that actually talks about sex in emails on a bdsm board is discarded for it is just silly. Any checklist approach is equally silly. If they won't get off the sex talk or seem intent on getting you in the sack right away move on if you're not comfortable, but don't assume just because someone has sexual interest they are a troll. Hell, if they don't have any sexual interest I get concerned personally. Talking about the flowers in someone's garden only tells you so much about them in my opinion. Tell them you want to be friends first, find someone you ARE comfortable talking with that fits for you and get over the ones that aren't.
Its not that anyone who talks of sex is discarded. Its how it is talked about. For instance, if someone e-mails me and tells me what he is going to do to me before making an appropriate introduction as to who he is and what his beliefs, thoughts and NAME is. Yes, he will get discarded. If a polite introduction, with him telling me who he is, what his interests are..he can mention "I see we both have an interest in shibari and riding crops". That would be fine. But if he is going to write. "hello slut. I grab you and bend you over, cover your mouth and stick it in"...... yea, and whats your name? Excuse me, he will get the discard. Or because its me, I will write him and tell him how rude it is to tell a woman what he is going to do to her before his tells her who he is and what he stands for. Then I will call him rude and uncouth.
But thats just me. I'm sure you would be way more tactful then I. 
I don't think anything you've posted here is contrary to what I posted. The fact someone doesn't have the social skills to approach me without being a complete boob is enough for me to move on regardless of the content. However, my comments were adressed to the replies we see here often that it's not ok to discuss kink/sex at all. I think that's a ridiculous standard personally. Bend over and take it as an opener email would not receive a tactful response from me if I chose to respond at all. That's hardly the same as saying I have a fetish for x and it's very hard to find someone into it can you tell me how you feel about that? That is something I would really want to know up front. However, I get the impression there are many here that would be offended by that approach and I find that odd on a BDSM site.
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I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.
When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.
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RE: Uncomfortable beginnings - 
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