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RE: on patronising subs - 1/20/2008 11:17:29 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

*Shrugs* You wouldn't, others would. Personally, I find it easier to not have to hit block and delete because they aren't in my inbox.

Like I said, it's one option that I wanted to suggest in case it appealed. I'm not trying to preach the "one twue way" of avoiding the stupid. Some people don't care about having their photo up regardless if they are looking or not and I'm not a mind-reader.

You are right, I wouldn't, others would. But then I do not enjoy group hugs and catering to the majority either. I would much rather be me and the person Darcy knows and express that in the way he and I are happy with, than be concerned about getting a few random crap mails in my inbox that I can just flick out, just because someone makes a snap thought. Like I said - it gets rid of the timewasters pretty quickly.

I would rather take the route of being who I am and truthful, than cater to what other people think I should be looking like and the images I should use and simply say thanks but no thanks to those who patronise or dismiss a comment with 'indifference' because then their attempts have no validity.
.emptylittlegestures.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 41

RE: on patronising subs - 1/20/2008 11:22:06 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

I really don't see me not having a photo up as being untruthful. I'm a woman who dislikes cock shots and got bored of snarking the idiots for the time being so I decided to do the thing that would stop clogging my inbox so much.

If someone else happens to not care about having their photo up, that option is valid. But at the time I suggested it, I didn't know if it mattered to the OP or not. Now I know it does so I wouldn't continue to.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 42

RE: on patronising subs - 1/20/2008 11:27:45 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

I really don't see me not having a photo up as being untruthful.

I did not say that and so I would appriciate you not insinuating that I implied it.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 43

RE: on patronising subs - 1/20/2008 11:33:13 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

I thought "I would rather take the route of being who I am and truthful, than cater to what other people think I should be looking like and the images I should use and simply say thanks but no thanks to those who patronise or dismiss a comment with 'indifference' because then their attempts have no validity." was in response to my suggestion as saying that to not put a picture up would be untruthful to oneself.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 44

RE: on patronising subs - 1/20/2008 11:52:04 AM

Honsoku

Posts: 422
Joined: 6/26/2007
Status: offline

You two are arguing from two different foundations, there is no good way to settle it. .thedark. is arguing from the philosophical standpoint that a person should not bend to group behavior just for the sake of making his/her life easier. Aquaticsub is arguing that removing the photo is a practical way to cut down on the stupid. This is an argument between ideals and practicality and there is no middle ground which will satisfy both.

I think this "I would rather take the route of being who I am and truthful," was just not put together well. I think what was meant is closer to; "I would rather take the route of being truthful to who I am,". In other words, if you want to put a photo up and don't because of the bozos, you aren't being truthful to yourself because of the bozos. You are then letting the bozos decide what you do, and it is a slippery slope from there.

At this point, the correct or incorrect thing to do can not be reduced down to more than a personal judgment call.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 45

RE: on patronising subs - 1/20/2008 11:54:54 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Honsoku
At this point, the correct or incorrect thing to do can not be reduced down to more than a personal judgment call.

So... does that make this the right time to suggest raspberry sauce wrestling to settle the issue?

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Honsoku)

Post #: 46

RE: on patronising subs - 1/20/2008 11:56:59 AM

Honsoku

Posts: 422
Joined: 6/26/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: Honsoku
At this point, the correct or incorrect thing to do can not be reduced down to more than a personal judgment call.

So... does that make this the right time to suggest raspberry sauce wrestling to settle the issue?

Yes. I get to referee!

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 47

RE: on patronising subs - 1/20/2008 12:01:45 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

Excellent. We can take pictures and use them in the "Sub-A-Day" calender.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Honsoku)

Post #: 48

RE: on patronising subs - 1/20/2008 3:18:17 PM

charmdpetKeira

Posts: 916
Joined: 6/2/2007
Status: offline

quote:

so how do you deal with being patronised by Dominants purely on the basis that as a submissive they can pat you on the head and say "never mind"

"serving me would take your mind right off it" ...

Yes, but will it fix my problem?

quote:

or "dont worry your pretty little head" ...

Are you saying my head is too small?

quote:

or most annoyingly "there are many things submissives are not cut out to do little one".

True, only this isn’t one of them.

I think that some people will say things like what you mentioned, because the truth is, they have no idea how to solve the problem, so the best they can do and still be able to contribute, is to try and change the subject or make the problem not seem so important.

Personally, I would ask what it is exactly they were trying to say and if I found the answer to be small minded in a large degree; I probably wouldn’t talk to them anymore. At least not about things that are important to me.

k (who believes; one can never know that they have correctly interpreted the perspective of another.)

_____________________________

Life is tough, that does not mean it isn't fair.

There is no wrong choice, only consequence.

(in reply to softness)

Post #: 49

RE: on patronising subs - 1/21/2008 12:58:22 AM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: topcat

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness
so how do you deal with being patronised by Dominants purely on the basis that as a submissive they can pat you on the head and say "never mind"

Dear S.-

That's a big word for such a pretty little girl!

heh.

Lawrence

LOL. OP don't respond at all. Self-important people into dogmatic roles are not really very likely to hear your message. If someone sees you as a role and not a human being, it's their issue not yours.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to topcat)

Post #: 50

RE: on patronising subs - 1/21/2008 4:26:33 AM

batshalom

Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

It's just what happens when you let the small head direct the course of the big one.

Ask them to go jerk off, and write you again ten minutes later.

And then she'll get pervmail chock full of lurid and oozing detail. ~chuckle~

I haven't read all the responses so I don't know if anyone's said this in particular, but don't feed the pig - simply do not respond to the head-patters.

(in reply to Leatherist)

Post #: 51

RE: on patronising subs - 1/21/2008 4:58:57 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

No it was not. So is all cleared up hey.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 52

RE: on patronising subs - 1/21/2008 5:06:17 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Honsoku
I think this "I would rather take the route of being who I am and truthful," was just not put together well. I think what was meant is closer to; "I would rather take the route of being truthful to who I am,". In other words, if you want to put a photo up and don't because of the bozos, you aren't being truthful to yourself because of the bozos. You are then letting the bozos decide what you do, and it is a slippery slope from there.

I know exactly what I meant, whether you think it is meant. And what you are suggesting isn't anywhere near what I meant.
I seperated the truth, from being true to who I am. It is important to me to be myself and to be truthful to others. If I like to show my photograph off and do not, then that would be lying to the people viewing my profile. That has nothing with being true to myself, but honest with those reading.

quote:

At this point, the correct or incorrect thing to do can not be reduced down to more than a personal judgment call.

Absolutely. But I saw the irony of the statements made to the OP in line with her question.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Honsoku)

Post #: 53

RE: on patronising subs - 1/21/2008 6:46:09 AM

subtee

Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

I will go out dressed as a nun tomorrow.

the.dark.

Hot...

_____________________________

Don't believe everything you think...

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 54

RE: on patronising subs - 1/21/2008 7:02:50 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

You won't be saying that when I start singing the soundtrack to the sound of music...

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to subtee)

Post #: 55

RE: on patronising subs - 1/21/2008 7:31:41 AM

subtee

Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline

_____________________________

Don't believe everything you think...

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 56

RE: on patronising subs - 1/21/2008 9:07:12 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

When people are rude to me, I find the most effective retort is to say that I am shocked at their rudeness. I then ask if his mother taught him to speak to people in this demeaning manner. And then say that he needs to immediately contact his mother, tell her exactly what he said, and beg her for a refresher course in manners.

They always slink away. Always.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to subtee)

Post #: 57

RE: on patronising subs - 1/21/2008 9:37:59 AM

backseatbebe

Posts: 195
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline

though aquatic shes not getting stuopid resonces because of a picture shes getting stupid responces from a journal entry
big difference

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Because of stupid people, we(generic) cannot put up the images or dress the way we want because it attracts the wrong type of attention?

So in other words, we now really do have to take care about what we wear and say and what photos we have up because it might attract the 'stupid'. How utterly dull and takes away a persons right to be who they are and instead be who we are supposed to be, just so stupidity isn't given an open door?

I will go out dressed as a nun tomorrow.

the.dark.

No. That isn't what I'm saying at all.

It was a suggestion, the same as you might suggest someone who has complained that they got a lot stupid e-mails about their breasts to choose a picture that doesn't have full frontal nudity.

As I said, I've found it to greatly reduce the stupid and if you don't feel like dealing with the stupid, taking the picture down is one option.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 58

RE: on patronising subs - 1/21/2008 12:12:59 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: backseatbebe

though aquatic shes not getting stuopid resonces because of a picture shes getting stupid responces from a journal entry
big difference

It's been my experience that if there isn't a picture up, a lot of people won't bother reading the journal.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to backseatbebe)

Post #: 59

RE: on patronising subs - 1/21/2008 1:00:24 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

So... does that make this the right time to suggest raspberry sauce wrestling to settle the issue?

For the record.. there is never a 'wrong' time to suggest raspberry sauce wrestling.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 60

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