RE: Is this common?

RE: Is this common? (Full Version)

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laurell3 -> RE: Is this common? (1/21/2008 11:18:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Thanks to those who answered. Yes, the most ridiculous part of this was that, on the thread I pulled it from, not just one, but two seperate cases of subs who were going to be 'punished' for not finding a third. While I understand that some subs might assist in the search for a third for a poly situation, I can't see it being responsibility of someone besides the one who would wish to be the Dominant, and the one who was ultimately in charge of the dynamic. Sure, it's fantastic that the potential sister sub would want to be involved, but it's really more important that the Dominant and the secondary sub match. Edited because the whole 'punishment' for not finding a third is so far fetched to Me, I couldn't even type properly. This might be a better subject for another thread but honestly I have to wonder how many subs would consent to being a third without having more contact with the Dominant than the sub. While I would talk to the sub, her opinion is important and how she feels about it of course, I've been approached by subs who have been instructed the prospective sub cannot talk to the Dominant. How could that possibly be an acceptable approach to a prospective sub? The OP is obviously ridiculous. Something that takes time and should not be rushed is an assignment to get done in a short amount of time? The numbers out there of submissives willing to engage in poly with a couple isn't all that high to begin with. She's supposed to not only do the impossible without him but do it by 7? LOL. She should accept that her punishment was getting involved with him in the first place and really look at reality.

Eleutherios -> RE: Is this common? (1/21/2008 11:49:42 PM)
It is my understanding that a some people are aroused by having their partner find another partner for them. So it may not always be out of their own ineptitude, but instead a legitimate kink.

Kerjin -> RE: Is this common? (1/22/2008 12:41:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Since this isn't something you find on the "Mistress" board, I came to ask My question here. Are there really a number of Masters who are so inept at finding a third that the task is assigned to their sub/slaves? Is it really appropriate to punish when the assignment given by the Master, who wasn't able to do for Himself, also isn't able to be completed by the slave? Seems to Me, in this type of situation, the word Master or Dom is being thrown around a little too casually. Opinions? Thoughts? Greetings everyone, long time lurker, first time poster here. This question struck me as very interesting. Personally I have always said that I'll never tell a bottom to do anything that I can't, won't or haven't done myself. IMNSHO, giving a bottom an unrealistic assignment and then punishing them for it is a sign of a weak or inept Top. Your mileage may very. :)

StrictMaster979 -> RE: Is this common? (1/22/2008 12:58:11 PM)
No not common, but I've heard of it before. Cant disagree that this is one lazy dom, (no caps purposefully), it is not a sub's job. Get urself a new Dom. I have been offered another sub by my (previous) sub, but it doesnt always work out-guess I'm too human, dont want to hurt feelings. Punishment should not have been part of it, as well.

Maya2001 -> RE: Is this common? (1/22/2008 7:11:51 PM)
I know a little off topic but yesterday I was contacted by a Domme who told me she had the perfect Dom for me....[sm=whoa.gif] WTF????

MasterRoad -> RE: Is this common? (1/22/2008 10:37:42 PM)
It is being used entirely too freely. As is the Lifestyle by those who wish to use it and the name of Master to get a little kinky on the side. It's really a shame that this type of disgrace exists actually. quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Ok, I pulled this from another thread here on this forum, so I just had to ask quote: ORIGINAL: SweetieSub37 This thread couldn't have come at a better time for me as i am about to get the silent treatment tonight from my Dom for not being able to complete an assignment. it is similar to the OP's dillema - i was supposed to find someone for my Dom to chat with by 7:00 p.m. tonight or i would be ignored. It's not like i haven't been trying...i've asked all my friends and tried to find nice people online but to no avail. it's hard enough forging your own relationships without having to make a connection for someone else. It made me feel better to read the replies in this thread anyway. I feel more confident about explaining my discomfort to my Dom and asking for him to reconsider this assignment. Since this isn't something you find on the "Mistress" board, I came to ask My question here. Are there really a number of Masters who are so inept at finding a third that the task is assigned to their sub/slaves? Is it really appropriate to punish when the assignment given by the Master, who wasn't able to do for Himself, also isn't able to be completed by the slave? Seems to Me, in this type of situation, the word Master or Dom is being thrown around a little too casually. Opinions? Thoughts?

YourhandMyAss -> RE: Is this common? (1/22/2008 11:15:19 PM)
In this case I agree he was clueless, it's stupid to punish on others behaviors, and it's stupid to think you can just run out and pick someone up by 7. However having your sub search for a third does not automatically make you a lazy or clueless dom. Should Daddy and I want a third I'd be the one searching, since I have have to like her as well, and in that case it'd benifit me to do the searching, and then introduce any one I found to him. That and I am the more outgoing of the two of us. quote: ORIGINAL: catize The confusing part to me is the fact she is punished because other submissives declined this ~wonderful opportunity~ to chat with a lazy and clueless dominant. How is it remotely realistic to be held accountable for what others do? What lesson is learned from such a punishment?

Manawyddan -> RE: Is this common? (1/26/2008 5:57:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kerjin IMNSHO, giving a bottom an unrealistic assignment and then punishing them for it is a sign of a weak or inept Top. Some folks are kinked for this, and while it's not my thing, I can accept that. But as pointed out, the OP did not seem kinked for such a double-bind situation. Also ... I would find this hard enough to accept as a form of crassness from a so-called dom if it was a search for an actual third, but ... the fact that the search was for an online chat ... pushes the whole thing into the realm of absurdity to me.

wolfsprincess -> RE: Is this common? (1/26/2008 6:43:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Ok, I pulled this from another thread here on this forum, so I just had to ask Since this isn't something you find on the "Mistress" board, I came to ask My question here. Are there really a number of Masters who are so inept at finding a third that the task is assigned to their sub/slaves? Is it really appropriate to punish when the assignment given by the Master, who wasn't able to do for Himself, also isn't able to be completed by the slave? Seems to Me, in this type of situation, the word Master or Dom is being thrown around a little too casually. Opinions? Thoughts? i have never been ordered to find another for my Master, but i HAVE and still DO volunteer when i can. i do so for several reasons. 1) He is first and foremost in my life. i want Him happy. And if His happiness includes a third, then i'm MORE than happy to search. 2) i have been His slave many years - i KNOW what He seeks in another. Why not take the "weeding" out of His hands? 3) i need to be able to get along with her too. What better way to find out whether or not we'll be a match as well? As far as the punishment aspect ... i don't see that as a "punishable task". But then, i don't know the situation first hand.

KnightofMists -> RE: Is this common? (1/26/2008 12:15:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied ...., I would think that a relationship would be developed between all three people ..... One would think so, but I suppose one could try other methods... I just wonder.. how successful these other methods are. I have found a poly-relationship developed by all people involved to be rather successful... so I will stick to that approach.

NCbluezMan -> RE: Is this common? (1/27/2008 1:01:36 PM)
There's a couple ways I look at this....Part of it is strictly ego.....When i was in a poly relationship I found the sub....Why? Because i had to know her well enough to now what she would like...You can never make the mistake of bringing the wrong submisisve to your girl.... The other viewpoint is if you want to have a serious third for a long term thing then have her find someone she is compatable with...Then she has to take the time to find some one pleasing to her and you.....She has to make a great effort......She has to be as careful what she brings home as you do..... Or just make it a family thing and do it together....Just have fun with it.....

BOUNTYHUNTER -> RE: Is this common? (1/27/2008 1:14:35 PM)
ITS a piss poor Dom that has to sent his sub out looking for another one in the first place,I see it done every day here,alt and bondage,true the sub in question should get to know the other after contact is made in a feeling out situation..I haven't nor will I ever send mine out on a fishing expedition for another sub/slave...

Dnomyar -> RE: Is this common? (1/29/2008 5:14:40 AM)
Ok ladies Im going to do this different. I do not repeat I do not want any of you to look for subs for me. I can see all of saying wow what a nice guy. What I want is for all of you to come to me on your own. Dont worry about long lines. I can take several of you on at once. I dont want to read long resumes. Just show me what you can do. Knee pads are optional. To all of the Dom's out there. See how easy this is.

servantheart -> RE: Is this common? (1/29/2008 8:09:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Are there really a number of Masters who are so inept at finding a third that the task is assigned to their sub/slaves? Is it really appropriate to punish when the assignment given by the Master, who wasn't able to do for Himself, also isn't able to be completed by the slave? Seems to Me, in this type of situation, the word Master or Dom is being thrown around a little too casually. Opinions? Thoughts? The words loser and single come to mind. What a wimp [8\|]

LadyPact -> RE: Is this common? (1/29/2008 8:51:51 AM)
This has turned out to be a very interesting thread, and I thank everyone who took the time to respond. I appreciate everyone's opinions on the subject.

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