Anal has no appeal for me and i am afraid of it

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Anal has no appeal for me and i am afraid of it

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Anal has no appeal for me and i am afraid of it

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Anal has no appeal for me and i am afraid of it - 1/20/2008 10:27:28 AM

winterlight

Posts: 1319
Joined: 2/18/2006
Status: offline

what can i do to get over my fear?

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Anal has no appeal for me and i am afraid of it - 1/20/2008 10:34:37 AM

AMaster

Posts: 814
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline

Start slow and work your way up to your goal.

(in reply to winterlight)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Anal has no appeal for me and i am afraid of it - 1/20/2008 10:41:17 AM

Phin

Posts: 1802
Joined: 2/26/2007
Status: offline

dont even start unless you totally trust the person you are with. The trust will help aleviate the fear and anxiety. Relax when you start up, being tense will only make it unplesent or even painful. I would not use anything along the lines of Anal Eeze, because the pain tells you when something is wrong.

_____________________________

"Isn't wonderful when our bruises show what we hide in the back of our heads?"Fayetteville band, Nephilym

"He is my angel, my devil, my naughty boy, but above anything else my Master"My girl sin

(in reply to AMaster)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Anal has no appeal for me and i am afraid of it - 1/20/2008 10:44:50 AM

LadyHathor

Posts: 775
Joined: 1/2/2008
Status: offline

Well the first question is, do you WANT to engage in it? If not don't feel you have to be forced, you have the right to say no.

_____________________________

Lady Hathor, I am the Mistress Hathor of Orleans, I am what I am, often to the dismay and discomfort of others.

(in reply to winterlight)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Anal has no appeal for me and i am afraid of it - 1/20/2008 10:47:06 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

What are you afraid of? Pain? Embarrassment? Not liking it? Liking it too much?

Do you even have an interest in it?

(in reply to LadyHathor)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Anal has no appeal for me and i am afraid of it - 1/20/2008 10:59:25 AM

SunnyTawse

Posts: 151
Joined: 11/17/2004
Status: offline

If it appeals to you, start with some pleasureable preliminaries with a firm understanding that penetration will NOT occur even if you're begging for it. The top needs to honor that committment rather than thinking this would be the time to go ahead. When you feel you're ready after several sessions of tongue or finger massage with lots of warm oil, you may agree to the insertion of just a finger tip at some point... but still the top should hold off until they're certain the time is right. Never should the top exceed agreed-upon limits; as a matter of fact, it's preferable that the top stay well under what the bottom desires in order to always leave the bottom wanting more.

But if it doesn't appeal to you... "Just say no!" <g>

Sunny Tawse
Sadien DOmina
Archon of Rings
http://AthenorLodge.com

(in reply to winterlight)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: Anal has no appeal for me and i am afraid of it - 1/20/2008 10:59:52 AM

AbsitInvidia

Posts: 164
Joined: 11/23/2007
Status: offline

Ugh I know the feeling. My Master put a pen up there just to start off slowly and it felt so awful. It took all my self control not to try to push it out.

Fortunately (?) he's really large in certain areas...so when he tried to do it with me it literally wouldn't go in

unfortunately that might mean that he will try to do it anyway through using smaller things and working up to it and I'm seriously not looking forward to that.

_____________________________

-=SixFoot and Soshi=-

What most people call rights are merely social norms, they are expectations - but expectations can and will be violated on a daily basis. On her knees. In the mud. Hard, and savagely. Expectations likes it like that.

(in reply to sexyred1)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: Anal has no appeal for me and i am afraid of it - 1/20/2008 11:13:06 AM

bipolarber

Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline

Like most things involving penetration, it's usually best to experiment on your own, in a masturbatory fashion, until you get some idea if it's really something you can enjoy, or at least tolerate. I'd say go to your local sex toy emporium, find a selection of small, long thing anal plugs, and try using those first. (Use plenty of lube, obviously.) Get used to the idea of having something entrer your body there... if it's no too terrible, you might just learn to like it.

Of course, sharing such a sexual experience with someone you like and trust will be far better than just lone experimentation.

But, if you find you really just don't like it at all, don't worry about it. Lots of people don't find anal sex enjoyable. At least you can say you tried. :)

(in reply to AbsitInvidia)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: Anal has no appeal for me and i am afraid of it - 1/20/2008 11:33:58 AM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: winterlight

what can i do to get over my fear?

Have a couple of glasses of wine and smoke a little weed. That's what I did the first time ( and a lot of times after ) and I loved it. Woohoo for butt love!

_____________________________

The Red

(in reply to winterlight)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: Anal has no appeal for me and i am afraid of it - 1/20/2008 11:39:29 AM

tulitukka

Posts: 95
Joined: 10/11/2007
Status: offline

Don't start with somebody else. Start with playing yourself. Take a nice bath, relax and get acquinted with your body. Don't worry about putting things inside, just play with the soft tissue on the outside and find out if they can give you good vibes.

Anything that contains putting things into the hole - lots, and lots of lube.

(in reply to winterlight)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: Anal has no appeal for me and i am afraid of it - 1/20/2008 11:40:30 AM

MsStarlett

Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline

For me, starting out it was 2 beers, lots of KY and a thumb. Then you let the penis follow the thumb in SLOWLY! When it hurts, he has to back out. The next time, it's a little nicer... Now, I'm the one who ASKS for it. Some things just take a little practice. With this, you have to practice relaxing the muscles.

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: Anal has no appeal for me and i am afraid of it - 1/20/2008 12:17:51 PM

venusinblu

Posts: 165
Joined: 1/12/2008
Status: offline

if you don't want to do it, don't do it! .. It's as simple as that.

However, and i can't believe i am mentioning this here .. a good thing to play with when training for anal is a skinny (frozen obviously) ice popsicle .. and loads of lube .. sounds odd but ... it feels great and gets you in touch with your inner tingly, meltly 'f*ck me now, Master, please!' ass play feelings ...

_____________________________

Louis: Do you think I would let them harm you?
Claudia: No you would not Louis. Danger holds you to me.
Louis: Love holds you to me.

~~~~~~

When the going gets tough, the tough get under the table . ... Edmund Blackadder

(in reply to MsStarlett)

Profile

Post #: 12

RE: Anal has no appeal for me and i am afraid of it - 1/20/2008 12:22:20 PM

adoracat

Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline

Daddy likes it. however, i think he's becoming used to the idea that it quite probably will never happen....cause we have issues with vaginal sex at times. if he cant get in there, how is he gonna go elsewhere that is even tighter?

oh well.

kitten

(in reply to venusinblu)

Profile

Post #: 13

RE: Anal has no appeal for me and i am afraid of it - 1/20/2008 12:24:05 PM

DianeB269

Posts: 1596
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline

Do a few strapon sessions with me...

Diane

(in reply to winterlight)

Profile

Post #: 14

RE: Anal has no appeal for me and i am afraid of it - 1/20/2008 1:15:02 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

quote:

My Master put a pen up there

Personally, i wouldn't put anything objects up there that aren't made for that, they can get enveloped and stuck, or cause damage.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to AbsitInvidia)

Profile

Post #: 15

RE: Anal has no appeal for me and i am afraid of it - 1/20/2008 1:16:28 PM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: proudsub
Personally, i wouldn't put anything objects up there that aren't made for that, they can get enveloped and stuck, or cause damage.

Does that include a tongue?

_____________________________

The Red

(in reply to proudsub)

Profile

Post #: 16

RE: Anal has no appeal for me and i am afraid of it - 1/20/2008 1:20:33 PM

faerytattoodgirl

Posts: 5824
Status: offline

is there not any training before hand to stretch out your ass with plugs??? having a plug in for a few hours a day can help quite alot.

_____________________________

I did not reply to your cmail.

I am flawed.

Imperfect.

MUST SPANK!!!

SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to proudsub)

Profile

Post #: 17

RE: Anal has no appeal for me and i am afraid of it - 1/20/2008 1:22:26 PM

faerytattoodgirl

Posts: 5824
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

quote:

ORIGINAL: proudsub
Personally, i wouldn't put anything objects up there that aren't made for that, they can get enveloped and stuck, or cause damage.

Does that include a tongue?

are you attempting to cheat on me already???

_____________________________

I did not reply to your cmail.

I am flawed.

Imperfect.

MUST SPANK!!!

SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Profile

Post #: 18

RE: Anal has no appeal for me and i am afraid of it - 1/20/2008 1:23:11 PM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

Lots of lube and hopefully some nice rimming first! Nothing like an anus tongue bath! ooooooooh

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)

Profile

Post #: 19

RE: Anal has no appeal for me and i am afraid of it - 1/20/2008 1:28:01 PM

christine1

Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

Lots of lube and hopefully some nice rimming first! Nothing like an anus tongue bath! ooooooooh

see, now you've made me mess up my monitor again!

_____________________________

i am woman! er, godzilla! hear me roar!

http://wavcentral.com/cgi-bin/log/log.cgi?id=2856&sound=/sounds/movies/godzilla/roar.mp3

He's the "boom" overwhelming...

He is my Master, my lover, my best friend my everything.

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

Profile

Post #: 20