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iammachine -> RE: Not getting what i need. (1/29/2008 3:08:22 PM)
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quote:
I want him to bathe me, pamper me, and prepare me
Hmm, that's interesting, I want all that too.... and I'm a top. [:-]
As for what to do to make him "get it", he may or may not have it in him to "get it". If you were a malesub making this same post, you would have been railed left, right and center for being a "do me do me". From the sound of it, your partner may or may not be "somewhat Dominant" but rather, somewhat willing to top you from time to time. Does he enjoy topping you, or is he simply indulging you? Do you know what his feelings are on all of this? Are his needs being met?
I have a question for you that might give your situation more direction. What exactly is it that you need? Do you have a "need" to submit, or do you have an unfufilled desire to bottom? There is a difference.
Several years ago, when I was bright-eyed, naive and just a little ducky getting her feet wet, I thought that I might be submissive. I have since realized how hilariously wrong that was. :) After a rather disasterous adventure with an Alpha friend of mine, I had realized, no, nope, no way, I'm not submissively inclined, that's for sure! Over time I have come to realize that I'm overall more dominant than not, and I just happen to like to bottom, too. :)
Figure out just what it is that you want, and talk openly with your partner. Keep in mind that his needs are just as important as your own, and he may or may not enjoy the same things that you do, or in the same way, and he has a right to that. Try to be positive and bring up ideas and share fatansies equally, rather than demanding that you "need" this, that or the other specifically. Is he responsive, does he have an interest, or does he just indulge you to try to make you happy? What are some of his desires and fantasies? Are your desires compatible?
If what you "need" is rooted in the spirit behind certain activities, then address that specifically, rather than attributing it to specific activities. If what you want/need are specific things, then, well, you may need to compromise on some, or determine how compatible you really are overall.
IMO, YMMV and all other obligatory disclaimers.
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