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BDSM terms and the way we react to them. - 1/22/2008 11:17:48 PM

MasterHardxdrive

Posts: 14
Joined: 1/12/2008
Status: offline

We have males and females here that are of cause dom/domme, sub, and a switch.
These terms are respected when there is a relationship. When there is no relationship then we are all on equal ground. When I have a conversation with a female sub. She is not my sub and I don't treat her as one and don't expect her to act that way as well. Do you agree or disagree?

Post #: 1

RE: BDSM terms and the way we react to them. - 1/23/2008 10:17:51 AM

subtee

Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline

I do.

Here's what I've always wondered, how come in BDSM we "seek?" Everyone is seeking, "I wish you well in finding what you seek." "What I seek is a sadistic but fair, firm but understanding, masterly-Master-uber-domly-Dom to accept my gift of R/T, 24/7 submission and slap a collar on me so I can stop seeking..."

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Don't believe everything you think...

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Post #: 2

RE: BDSM terms and the way we react to them. - 1/23/2008 10:23:09 AM

subtee

Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
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Sorry, that should have read, "I do agree with you."

I was too busy getting worked up about "seeking" terminology.

Tee hee.

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Don't believe everything you think...

(in reply to subtee)

Post #: 3

RE: BDSM terms and the way we react to them. - 1/23/2008 10:25:15 AM

yrstocollar

Posts: 95
Joined: 8/14/2006
Status: offline

It doesn't matter what your orientation is. You should treat everyone with respect, as equals and behave with good manners. Only when there is some kind of agreement between both parties should you do anything different.

(in reply to subtee)

Post #: 4

RE: BDSM terms and the way we react to them. - 1/23/2008 11:12:17 AM

littlelostbunny

Posts: 141
Joined: 6/15/2006
Status: offline

I completely agree.

I don't appreciate people who, within the first conversation, approach me with a domineering attitude and try to get me to submit to them. The ones who talk me as an equal usually end up as good acquaintences and friends.

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-- Bunny

(in reply to MasterHardxdrive)

Post #: 5

RE: BDSM terms and the way we react to them. - 1/23/2008 11:24:04 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

I have to say that my initial reaction to your post was "ick" cause I cannot for the life of me understand this trend with saying "males" and "females" instead of men and women.

Beyond that gut reaction of mine, I agree with the OP. We are people first, not our roles or our orientations.

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Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to MasterHardxdrive)

Post #: 6

RE: BDSM terms and the way we react to them. - 1/23/2008 11:27:25 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

Absolutely. And if more 'wannabe' dominants realized that, they probably wouldn't have to 'seek' so long.

~Christina

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 7

RE: BDSM terms and the way we react to them. - 1/23/2008 11:32:47 AM

SubbieOnWheels

Posts: 590
Joined: 12/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

I do.

Here's what I've always wondered, how come in BDSM we "seek?" Everyone is seeking, "I wish you well in finding what you seek." "What I seek is a sadistic but fair, firm but understanding, masterly-Master-uber-domly-Dom to accept my gift of R/T, 24/7 submission and slap a collar on me so I can stop seeking..."

Oh, now, that's too funny!!

And I agree.

With both of you.

_____________________________

Bethical
Beat me, strike me, take away my reindeer! I'll never tell! -- Walt Kelly, Pogo Possum
I yam what I yam - Popeye

http://www.myspace.com/bethical_wheels

(in reply to subtee)

Post #: 8

RE: BDSM terms and the way we react to them. - 1/23/2008 11:41:27 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

disagree, because there is no one-true-way for all.

for some folks, submissive and Dominant are roles/orientations within their specific intimate relationship with another.

for other folks, submissive or Dominant is how they react to the world around them, regardless of relationship role/orientation.

some folks do both.

(in reply to MasterHardxdrive)

Post #: 9

RE: BDSM terms and the way we react to them. - 1/23/2008 11:43:18 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

what beth said.

the.dark.

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RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 10

RE: BDSM terms and the way we react to them. - 1/23/2008 12:47:46 PM

Maya2001

Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline

and I second what beth said

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Post #: 11

RE: BDSM terms and the way we react to them. - 1/23/2008 12:53:12 PM

subtee

Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline

Whoops, I took the posted question as if I was to answer only in regard to myself, not for anyone else or the way it should be for everyone.

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Don't believe everything you think...

(in reply to Maya2001)

Post #: 12

RE: BDSM terms and the way we react to them. - 1/23/2008 12:55:53 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

disagree, because there is no one-true-way for all.

for some folks, submissive and Dominant are roles/orientations within their specific intimate relationship with another.

for other folks, submissive or Dominant is how they react to the world around them, regardless of relationship role/orientation.

some folks do both.

I'd agree that personality wise this is quite true.

However I think the OP was about how we expect to be treated and how we treat others.

I may well have a dominant personality, goodness knows I don't try much and people turn to me to lead, but that does not mean that I expect they to or even that I want them to follow. Sometimes I just want to do things on my own. Even if I take on a leadership role I'd never be so arrogant as to think I have all the answers so I'd treat everyone respectfully and get some input before I made decisions.

I'd never treat someone as though they were my submissive or slave unless they actually were. I frankly don't appreciate treatment as generic superior either in return.

< Message edited by thetammyjo -- 1/23/2008 12:56:21 PM >

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 13

RE: BDSM terms and the way we react to them. - 1/23/2008 1:01:14 PM

DommeKimberly

Posts: 73
Status: offline

I am in agreement with MasterHardxdrive. We are all people with different likes. Unless we have built any type of relationship I would rather be treated and treat others as equals. But that is just my opinion.
Ok I said my part, I'm done.

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I just am who I am, blunt and truthful.

(in reply to MasterHardxdrive)

Post #: 14

RE: BDSM terms and the way we react to them. - 1/23/2008 1:05:41 PM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

I agree.

"Down on your knees slut", from a wanna be Dom stranger will get a

"buzz off bozo" from me.

(in reply to DommeKimberly)

Post #: 15

RE: BDSM terms and the way we react to them. - 1/23/2008 1:13:53 PM

LordVelvet

Posts: 311
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline

I try to speak to all with respect until they show they don't deserve it. Be they Dom/Domme/sub/slave/switch or anything in between. If i have read a lot of posts from someone and I don't agree with them, I can still respect them, I can also make the call that I don't respect them enough to talk to them. Just My opinion.
LordVelvet

_____________________________

It's better to be hated for who you are than loved for who you're not - Van Zant

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

Post #: 16

RE: BDSM terms and the way we react to them. - 1/23/2008 1:28:02 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

Aside from the whole issue I have with what I see as a misuse of the word "respect" in this context, I think I am on the same page.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to MasterHardxdrive)

Post #: 17

RE: BDSM terms and the way we react to them. - 1/23/2008 1:36:22 PM

Archer

Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline

AS with any tactical situation it depends on the situation and the terrain. LOL

I treat everyone with a basic level of respect, how I show that respect differs from one person to the next and from one venue to another.

(in reply to LordVelvet)

Post #: 18

RE: BDSM terms and the way we react to them. - 1/23/2008 3:15:39 PM

kallisto

Posts: 1185
Status: offline

I'm in agreement. Being treated as equals is showing common courtesy. Respect is earned, no matter what your relationship is with another person.

(in reply to Archer)

Post #: 19

RE: BDSM terms and the way we react to them. - 1/23/2008 3:59:21 PM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

quote:

Respect is earned, no matter what your relationship is with another person. /snip

*runscreamingfromthebuilding*

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to kallisto)

Post #: 20

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