Shammon5
Posts: 38
Joined: 7/17/2007
From: Ohio
Status: offline
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I am hoping that this is in the correct forum. I didn't want to post it in the sub/slave forum because I realize that there are tops and Dom/mes who might also call themselves "masochists." Although I have never met any myself, one thing I have come to learn in this lifestyle is that variety runs rampant. So I pose this question to anyone. I apologize if this is the incorrect area.
That being said, I will move on to my question.
I believe that I am a masochist, and recently I have been trying to determine what exactly "makes me" this way, as in what qualities in myself would I call "masochistic." I have heard masochism described by other people here and on other sites that masochism means that you enjoy pain, or specifically that "pain feels good." This is the part where I am confused. You see, when Ian-sama and I play, it offen incorporates elements of pain. I am caned, whipped, flogges, strapped, etc, all of which are "painful." When I am being whipped, though, I don't think "oh that feels so good" as each hit falls. The blows always hurt. Even so, I always get very, very wet, and when it is over I eagerly look forward to the next time.
I'll try to give an example (I won't be graphic, I promise). We've recently had a break in playing due to the fact that we moved houses recently and school started back up after winter break. The other day we got to play for the first time in several weeks, and Ian-sama used the belt on me as a warm-up (we like to warm up pretty hard sometimes). Since it had been such a long time, it was a little overwhelming, and halfway through I was thinking "oh no, I don't know if I can take this this hard today." However, when he stopped and went to get another toy, I reached under me and found that I was really wet, even though I was experiencing sensations that I thought of as pain. This bolstered me somewhat, and we had a great time with the single-tail whip afterward.
When we spoke about this yesterday, I told Ian-sama that I think he could whip me to tears cold, with no warm up, and I'd probably get wet just thinking about the next time. But I still feel the sensations as "pain." Afterward I am very happy and cuddly, and I love watching my marks fade over the next few days, and I revel in my sore bum as I squirm in my seat in Japanese class. It's kind of a paradox, and leaves me at a loss.
So, I guess my question to the other masochists is this: (1) When you are subjected to sensations that could be described as "painful," do you feel them as "pain" or as "pleasure." Does it "hurt" or does it feel good like a massage or something? (2) To the submissives/slaves, does the fact that you are submitting make pain an enjoyable experience, or the sensations themselves?
I know this is not very well written, but it is very hard to pose a question when I, myself, am confused about what I'm asking. Please feel free to ask any questions. I look forward to your responses.
Respectfully,
Shawna
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A Question for Masochists - 
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I do think that since it is difficult submitting to it does play a factor, like it's a challenge. Ian-sama's single tail whip scares the **** out of me, but I get through the scariness and the pain because I know that after every dozen or so blows, he gently strokes the welts and caresses me. I think that looking forward to this opposite sensation really turns me on, and helps associate the pain with a pleasurable experience.
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