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RE: Was I wrong? - 1/26/2008 6:31:47 PM   
MasterGaach


Posts: 5
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline 		Hello, slvcari.

Everyone else has already said this well, but I'll reiterate for emhasis:

1) your education is most important; NOTHING else must be permitted to get in its way. you'll have ample opportunities to meet good Doms later on.

2) Any good Dom will encourage you (nay, demand of you) that you continue your studies, and do quite well. A good Dom will not permit you to quit; rather, He will push you and prod you and give you the strength that you might lack, during the hard times...a good Dom will be like a coach, pushing you to success.

3) A bad "dom" is the obverse of '2' above. Stay away from bad "doms", for they are merely users.

4) you MUST protect yourself. Do NOT agree to meet with (much less "possibly play with") people with whom you haven't exchanged information. That is madness.

5) A true Dom is not frightened by your success; on the contrary, when you're collared, your success reflects well on your Master. No real Dom would ever want you to minimize your success, just in order to spend time with Him.

6) Lastly, frankly, a 'B' just isn't good enough. Hold yourself to a very high standard. Push yourself for straight 'A's.  A Dom who cared about you would demand that you achieve straight 'A's, and would sit up long non-sexual nights with you, quizzing you to ensure that you achieved it.

~Master Gaach.

(in reply to Griswold)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Was I wrong? - 1/26/2008 7:07:36 PM   
Greylynn


Posts: 575
Joined: 11/4/2007
Status: offline 		I agree with what everyone else said, nothing to add as it's all been said.

(in reply to MasterGaach)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Was I wrong? - 1/26/2008 7:38:56 PM   
slvcari


Posts: 16
Joined: 1/22/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings All-

Thank you  all for your advice, I 've sinced blocked him on here.  His sub sent me emial but i've not read it yet.  I asked for a phone for either one and have not gotten it.  I had only agreed to dinner , he suggested play. I'm glad that i didn't go as my education is very important to me .  

I am glad their are doms/dommes who are not afraid of their submissive/slave having a degree.  I've since spoken with the professor and have almost all redone and turned in.  As I am new to this  and don't post very often on the boards , my apoligies if this was a question already posted awhile ago.

I have found many good friends both dominates and submissives/slaves and hope to find more.

slvcari

(in reply to Greylynn)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Was I wrong? - 1/26/2008 7:49:45 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		No Cari, do not apologize for posting this.  You needed help, and you did not make excuses for your actions when people challenged you.  You will do well, just remember to ask yourself this... "if a friend was telling me this, what would I think/say?"  So if a friend said she was going to have dinner and possibly "play" with someone who encouraged her to drop a class to have more time for him, AND had yet to pony up a phone number... I would hope you would have the same response to that friend as we did to you.

Cali




_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to slvcari)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Was I wrong? - 1/27/2008 2:28:55 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline 		Your future is your best friend
Lovers come and go, best friends stay for ever.

IF they care about you ,they would want a good future for you. Let us know how your grades improved :)
and goodluck


_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to slvcari)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Was I wrong? - 1/27/2008 1:11:28 PM   
batshalom


Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slvcari

Owned Girl-

When plans were made nothing was discussed as to time or place.  I hopped online and saw he was online and contacted him right away.  As for the assignments the professor said to get them in ASAP as midterms are next week.  Also i've not submitted to him yet nor wear his collar.   I was only trying to please him by showing that I understand lower then a B would get me in trouble and as its a D he would want me to attempt to bring it up .

slvcari



Allowing your grades to slide and to put your preservation in the hands of someone to whom you owe nothing simply does not make sense. Forget being "slavelike" and concentrate on your future. It's easy to let things slide that aren't the most pleasant (like school) because someone tells you to; but it's a recipe for personal disaster, an easy out, and utterly ridiculous to be that irresponsible regardless of your orientation. You did the right thing. Do it again if you need to.

(in reply to slvcari)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Was I wrong? - 1/31/2008 10:11:03 PM   
slvcari


Posts: 16
Joined: 1/22/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings All -

I have updates for you.  I have since blocked both the dom and his on here and on yahoo , the reason for blocking her was so he couldn't still contact me via her yahoo id or cm id.  Also the Religion course that I am in is still in the A-B range and i got a 85 on the midterm.  I have since turned in the assingments in for Biology and waiting on those to be graded.  I had class with the biology professor last eve and have been given a tutor , plus another student has offered his help.  As for the midterm on that I got an 78 so my D is now a C.  Happy Dance i'm passing both , now only 4 more weeks to go and the new term uggg accounting and a law class.

I'm off to do my paper in religion ugg 2,000+ words apa style

slvcari

(in reply to batshalom)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Was I wrong? - 2/1/2008 1:04:23 PM   
atursvcMaam


Posts: 1195
Joined: 5/10/2004
Status: offline 		First of all, if you are a sub, then the answer is if you must ask, then of course you are wrong.
Second, as a student, you are looking to develop yourself. if you want to word it carefully then you are attempting to deliver to your Master, Mistress or whatever, a more promising package.  if that is not of interest to them, or to you, then you are trying to improve yourself and that can not be wrong.   your balance of time and devotion must meet both your long term and short term goals. 
     you are only wrong if your choice does not suit your best interests.
     just my humble opinion.

(in reply to slvcari)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Was I wrong? - 2/1/2008 1:12:24 PM   
sweetwenchie


Posts: 1993
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline 		~fast reply~

cari congratulations on the grades!  Takes hard work to finish something you start.  When the time is right you will find the right person that will seek to build you up, help you accomplish far more than you ever realized you could.  Ahh, and please, do not apologize for asking a question relevant to your life, from what i have seen you received some very sound advice.



_____________________________

"To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object." - De Beauvoir

"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist." - Nietzsche

(in reply to atursvcMaam)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Was I wrong? - 2/1/2008 1:22:01 PM   
BlackPhx


Posts: 3432
Joined: 11/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slvcari

MissHarlet-

He was on yahoo earlier and informed that perhaps if the class is giving me trouble to drop it thereby more free time for them. He also informed me to treat his training as a class and have to attend every day to pass it.. I've asked for a phone number and have yet to get it. 

Thank you for your advice.

slvcari


Sorry Cari this would be a red flag for me. You have been talking with them, but he does not yet own you. You have never met face to face, and he expected play after dinner? Your classes are important, whether you are taking them online or in a classroom, they are paid for, will lead hopefully to advancement at work or gainful employment in the future and he wants you to drop them for "his classes"? My response would be..

"Thank you very much Sir for  your consideration but I prefer a dominant that considers my mind as important as my body. I wish you and yours good luck in finding what you seek, I shall continue to seek someone who can value all that I am and can be."

Then get your nose back to the grindstone and pass those classes. My Master is demanding on my time, but when i have a deadline, or a new program to get the hang of, he steps back and tells me to concentrate on it as it is JUST as important as his work. Heck at deadline times he will even voluntarily bring home supper so i don't have to stop and cook.

poenkitten

(in reply to slvcari)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Was I wrong? - 2/1/2008 1:25:05 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		What troubles me is that they didn't approve of your course of actions. Valyraen is very clear that my schoolwork must come first. It is more important than any other task he assigns me. While balance is important and sometimes work can put off till the next day, your teacher wanted them in ASAP. Since he was letting you redo them, the best way to ensure future help is do exactly that.

It's my opinion that he should have been pleased with your dedication to your grades.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to slvcari)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Was I wrong? - 2/1/2008 1:27:04 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slvcari

MissHarlet-

He was on yahoo earlier and informed that perhaps if the class is giving me trouble to drop it thereby more free time for them. He also informed me to treat his training as a class and have to attend every day to pass it.. I've asked for a phone number and have yet to get it. 

Thank you for your advice.

slvcari

also requestr permission to speak on the otherside with you via email


His class is more important yet you don't have a phone number? He doesn't even own you but he wants to you drop classes to suit him?

Run, don't walk, away.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to slvcari)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Was I wrong? - 2/1/2008 2:22:58 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Cmon guys, check her update.  She blocked and ran.

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Was I wrong? - 2/1/2008 2:25:47 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		It's a bit spooky that he would already want to play with you on first meeting, never having talked with you on the phone.  I've certainly been in the situation where I met someone for the first time, she wanted to play with me, and I said no.  The dude sounds desperate, and not a keen respecter of limits.

I'm not as pro-school as most of the posters on this thread.  The wealthiest people I know all dropped out of college or never went.  90% of the smart people I know have limited formal education.  You can even see that on these boards.  Many of the best posters work with their hands, or did for years.  People who live in school too long often lose connection with real life.  I've said it before, but most of the Ph.D.'s I know -- and work with for that matter -- wouldn't recognize a creative thought if it bit them on the ass.

If you set getting good grades as a life objective, and someone you have never met tried twisting you away from that objective, then you were correct in continuing with your plan and blocking him.  My advice, though, is this: make a plan for your life based on what you decide you want and need, not based on what AnonymousDom -- or everybody else -- is telling you to do.  And then (and here's the hard part), after you make the plan, follow through.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Was I wrong? - 2/1/2008 3:19:17 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

Cmon guys, check her update.  She blocked and ran.

Cali



Meanie...

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Was I wrong? - 2/1/2008 6:41:59 PM   
Thorns82


Posts: 92
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Los Angeles, CA
Status: offline 		Yes, you did the right thing.  Your education/professional life should come before any playtime.  As others have said above me, the fact that you do not have his phone number concerns me.  I recommend reading My Advice for Novice Female Subs by OsideGirl.  Very informative post.

(in reply to Griswold)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Was I wrong? - 2/1/2008 6:56:47 PM   
TracyTaken


Posts: 615
Joined: 2/1/2008
Status: offline 		It's about priority.  I think considering school a priority over meeting with people that you've never even met was probably a wise choice.  Good luck with biology.  Tutors can help a lot.

(in reply to slvcari)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Was I wrong? - 2/1/2008 7:29:27 PM   
fluffyswitch


Posts: 1108
Joined: 9/29/2007
From: Buffalo
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slvcari

Greetings all-

I'm in need of some advice.  I am presently speaking with a submissive and her dom. After contact was establish, i informed them both that i'm attending college online and what my major is and what i'm currently taking course wise.

We agreed last week that yesterday we would meet for dinner/possible play.  Until last night i was under the impression that i was doing well in the class, the professor is slow at posting grades and finally posted grades yesterday for the first 3 weeks.  I thought i had a B , found out its a D.  I 've spoken with the professor and was told that i can redo the assigments for a better grade. 

He hoped online yesterday and I informed him that i finally got my grades back as he had told me that my grades had to stay at a B or higher or I would be in trouble.  I informed him that my one grade is an A but my other grade is a D .

I chose to stay at home and redo the assignments instead of going out to dinner with him and now he is mad at me .  Should i have gone and had dinner with them instead ?  My classes are only 8 weeks long one is religion and one is biology (the one i've got the D in ) midterms are next week.

Would you have gone or stayed and redone the assignments? He asks daily how i'm doing on the homework.  I also only have their cm id and yahoo id for contact. I've also posted this to "Ask a Master"

thank you in advance

slvcari


as a current grad student i can say that right now your grades are your priority. it's too much time and money to waste. if you were up front with the dom and told him you were a student, then what you did was not wrong. he'll get over it.


_____________________________


“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” churchill

the first rule of fluff club is that you don't talk about fluff club!

(in reply to slvcari)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Was I wrong? - 2/1/2008 7:33:58 PM   
fluffyswitch


Posts: 1108
Joined: 9/29/2007
From: Buffalo
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterGaach

6) Lastly, frankly, a 'B' just isn't good enough. Hold yourself to a very high standard. Push yourself for straight 'A's.  A Dom who cared about you would demand that you achieve straight 'A's, and would sit up long non-sexual nights with you, quizzing you to ensure that you achieved it.

~Master Gaach.


i agree but don't agree--a B in most schools is actually above average, with a c being average. if you do the best that you can do and still pull a b, take pride in that you did the best you could do at the time and know that the next time you approach that material you'll probably be stronger. it took me a long time to realize that while i might be an a student in most things, a b in maths means that i kicked ass for my abilities and stop killing myself over not beign as strong in that area as my other coursework.


_____________________________


“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” churchill

the first rule of fluff club is that you don't talk about fluff club!

(in reply to MasterGaach)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Was I wrong? - 2/1/2008 11:44:20 PM   
creatrix


Posts: 56
Joined: 12/30/2007
From: Roseville, MI (GO PISTONS!)
Status: offline 		Some people are just very self-centered and think the world evolves around them. If someone cannot understand this, then I would have to say *knock knock* *who's in there thinking?* it ever really matters. F' the prick! (sorry). Big deal, the little baby Dom got mad... if you are not his... you owe him nothing, and if you are his, and he doesn't understand the importance, he is an imbecile. either way... you are a smart cookie... continue with being intelligent and be open to intelligent educated people who take education (and personal matters) seriously.

blessings to ya!

(in reply to fluffyswitch)
Profile   Post #: 60
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