RE: Hair-ed Limits...

RE: Hair-ed Limits... (Full Version)

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nothing4ever -> RE: Hair-ed Limits... (1/26/2008 12:00:59 PM)
I actually get compliments almost daily on how nice my hair is. I just don't define myself by my hair. Like I said it will grow back! Alas we wont agree & I am done arguing on the internet. Smiles.

nothing4ever -> RE: Hair-ed Limits... (1/26/2008 12:03:59 PM)
To say, "It's my hair, it's my head" brings me to this.. I have heard a countless number of times a submissive refer to her genitals as "His pussy" or "His ass", so if she belongs to him totally.. her body is his, then why is the hair any different?

ownedgirlie -> RE: Hair-ed Limits... (1/26/2008 12:05:49 PM)
There's a biblical scripture that says something to the effect of "hair is a woman's glory." Now, I'm not a biblical follower, but there is some truth to this statement. Whip me, beat me, hurt me, but don't you dare mess with my hair!! Ha. Hair tends to be a woman's pride...her vanity. We love our hair. We love being complimented on our hair. I personally love when I am at the salon, and Jennifer, my awesome stylist compliments me repeatedly on my hair. Hey, I just grew it, ya know? That, and with the help of great products and a great stylist, it looks pretty good. I am complimented on my hair a lot. Many women love receiving compliments on their hair. In many ways it ties in with their beauty. We don't like our hair messy. We cry from bad hair cuts. Hair is important to us. Look at your romantic novels - Pretty much any novel you read will comment on "her long silky locks..." Get the idea?? That having been said, my Master likes long, healthy hair (healthy is the key). He approves my hair length and color. It must be down when I am with him, and on some occasions he will allow me to put it up. I am not allowed to cut it above falling at my shoulders, which works for me since I look pretty bad in short hair. He enjoys a handful of hair, in which it continues to flow down his arm. He has, however, threatened to have my head shaved. He is more than willing to go without long hair for awhile if it means an effective lesson for the slave. He'd rather have a well trained, well functioning slave and will absolutely go without an indulgence to get there. And I knew he wasn't kidding when he spoke of the head shave. Now, if he were to actually go through with it? Then yes, I would be a bald slave for awhile. If it pleased him to have me in short hair, then I would be a short haired slave. If he wanted my hair down to my ankles, then call me Crystal Gayle. His will supersedes my own.

ForcefuIHands -> RE: Hair-ed Limits... (1/26/2008 12:06:35 PM)
I'm so tickled by the variety of responses. Let's keep this going. Hard to understand? No, that's not the point of the OP, though. I can see you take the idea very personally, even so far as suggesting someone has "control freak" issues for taking an interest in their submissive's appearance. The point I was trying to make is why it is such an emotional issue. It's hair! And, as previously noted, it's not just a male Dom who is curious. I note also the ban on clothing, which is interesting as well. I personally enjoy dressing my subs, like pretty little dolls, and even this is nothing close to how deeply emotional this hair issue is. I'm tickled really, and we're getting to the heart of the matter. Yay.

ownedgirlie -> RE: Hair-ed Limits... (1/26/2008 12:08:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: nothing4ever To say, "It's my hair, it's my head" brings me to this.. I have heard a countless number of times a submissive refer to her genitals as "His pussy" or "His ass", so if she belongs to him totally.. her body is his, then why is the hair any different? The short answer is she does not belong to him "totally." Whatever part of a submissive is held back, the submissive is keeping ownership of. Before I gave over all my fears, all my trust, and as long as I still had emotional walls up, I did not belong to my Master "totally." Reaching "totally" is the goal for me, however. It is not the goal for everyone. It doesn't have to be, after all.

ForcefuIHands -> RE: Hair-ed Limits... (1/26/2008 12:12:59 PM)
owned, thank you so much! That's what I wanted to hear. Your other post was also well written. Yay for actual insight!

darchChylde -> RE: Hair-ed Limits... (1/26/2008 12:15:37 PM)
Ok, i'll definitely hop into this one. My hair is such a hard limit that i wouldn't even consider a relationship with a dominant who doesn't actually love my hair. Ok, here goes. A piercing can be done in minutes and generally costs under 50 dollars, and it can be heal anywhere between a few days to a few months (i personally have three that have healed). A tattoo is usually over in a few hours and can often be easily covered up. With that in mind, consider that my hair has taken me about 3 years to get where it is, and that's not even counting the 10 years of trying to grow it back and getting frustrated at how it looks at the in-between stage. In those thre years, my hair has cost me hundreds of dollars in hair product; that could easily be thousands of dollars for those who buy stuff that's not as reasonably priced as what i get. In addition, there are those who go to salons to maintain their hair, which can easily amount to a hundred or more dollars a month. Let's keep looking at this, i spend at least 30 minutes a day dealing with my hair, sometimes more. Also, for many people; their hair is not simply an accessory to change as whim demands; some of us (including me, the hair queen) have their identity and ego tied up completely in their hair. I myself donated my hair (when it was to the middle of my ass) to the Ronald McDonald House in Atlanta just before i went to basic training years ago; i actually cried when my hair was being shorn. i got into a funk and couldn't be consoled for weeks afterwards. Consider the time, money and energy investment i've put into my hair (and remember, alot of people put alot more of all three in than i do); and it really is an investment. You better be pretty damned special for me to give my hair up. To the OP: What would make you give up your art or writing?

nothing4ever -> RE: Hair-ed Limits... (1/26/2008 12:16:23 PM)
I agree, I have always wondered why people can get so caught up in their hair. Crying when they have it cut.. I even know people who have refused to cut it off for years. Why the attachment to something that will come back? We are not asking you to cut off your large toe, which will hinder you for the rest of your life, even if the relationship is ended. The hair doesn't harm you in any way to cut off. Maybe people need to practice some detachment... or maybe too many women rely on their hair for their femininity... Why is it too much to ask to chop a few inches of the hair, but to tell a submissive you want them to lose 50 pounds is something they will do without a second thought?

christine1 -> RE: Hair-ed Limits... (1/26/2008 12:17:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ForcefuIHands I'm so tickled by the variety of responses. Let's keep this going. Hard to understand? No, that's not the point of the OP, though. I can see you take the idea very personally, even so far as suggesting someone has "control freak" issues for taking an interest in their submissive's appearance. The point I was trying to make is why it is such an emotional issue. It's hair! And, as previously noted, it's not just a male Dom who is curious. I note also the ban on clothing, which is interesting as well. I personally enjoy dressing my subs, like pretty little dolls, and even this is nothing close to how deeply emotional this hair issue is. I'm tickled really, and we're getting to the heart of the matter. Yay. i'm trying to understand what you are getting at...earlier i answered as honestly as i could what i thought the original question was. i'm going to have to think about why it is so emotional for me....good question. i don't know after thinking about it if my opinion about it will change or not...we'll see.

hisannabelle -> RE: Hair-ed Limits... (1/26/2008 12:20:46 PM)
greetings forcefulhands, i always had long hair, up until a year and a half ago (after we got together) when i shaved my head (for me, primarily). he liked it at first and is about as frustrated as i am with the in-between stage. i've never done anything chemical or heat-related to my hair - i don't straighten it, blow dry it, color it, etc. but he's requiring of me from now on that (when it grows out again) i keep it long, and a couple of weeks ago he wanted me to get a perm (which is about the worst possible thing one can do to their hair, chemically). it really bothered me because i spent 16 years trying to get really healthy hair, and right before i shaved my head i found the perfect shampoo, and ever since it's been growing back in it was wonderfully healthy, and now it's all...chemical-ed :\ but it's curly, and he likes it curly, so that's good. my hair and my eyes have always been my "features," especially when my hair was long. when i shaved my head, partly it was in frustration with that. i was tired of identifying myself with my hair, and i was tired of other people doing it. it was such a freeing thing to find that many people (including my dominant, although he eventually decided he didn't want me to stay bald) still found me beautiful bald (some people i know, who have never commented on my looks, even said they liked it better that way). for me, it was an amazing lesson in, yes, vanity, and in impermanence. there were a lot of other things that went into it (and in my recent decision to wear a headscarf most of the time now - i haven't updated my pics yet), but desire to get over my and others' identifying me with it is one. now, onto the relationship bits - i'm his property, it's his hair, just like the rest of me, LOL. he wants it permed, i get it permed, even if i have panic attacks about it. he wants it long, it is barely getting so much as a trim until it grows out again. etc. etc. the only issue i have had with him owning my hair is that he's a man. he's an older man. he's nearly bald. it's been a very long time since he's had a woman he's this involved with. so, he doesn't get hair stuff. he doesn't understand that if he wants me to cut it, that actually does involve some, well, long-term commitment to what's going to happen to it...or if he wants me to perm it, there's a good chance it'll go from being silky to crappy...not to mention, he wants it longer already, and making it curly will make it look shorter. he's forever making decisions about my hair (and the rest of my body) without realizing the implications...and while i try very hard to explain them to him, i really have to cringe whenever i come home with said new body modification and i get, "well, i didn't expect it to look like that." so i do my fair share of attempting to explain before i comply with all requests, just to make sure he's actually getting what he wants out of it. respectfully, annabelle.

ownedgirlie -> RE: Hair-ed Limits... (1/26/2008 12:21:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: nothing4ever Maybe people need to practice some detachment... or maybe too many women rely on their hair for their femininity... This is precisely the reason some dominants have their submissives cut their hair - to remove pride, ego and self-focus. In my case, he wished to build my pride. Cutting my hair for that reason would have been detrimental to his overall plan. ForcefulInHands, thank you for your compliment.

nothing4ever -> RE: Hair-ed Limits... (1/26/2008 12:23:40 PM)
I am so glad this could make someone think! I think that more people might have an underlying issue as to why they will not cut their hair. My sister refused to cut hers for years because my mother always kept hers short & she didn't in anyway want to be related back to my mother.. even with something as small & insignificant as a hair cut. It makes me wonder if other people have similar small issues they are not so aware of? Or for some is it simply that way to hang onto some control in their life & not fully hand themselves over to another. When I cut my submissive's hair he was upset with me, even went as far as to tell me he hated it.. but was able to let go enough that my satisfaction was worth him having it cut so short. Maybe this should be a lesson... & something I don't take so much for granted.

ForcefuIHands -> RE: Hair-ed Limits... (1/26/2008 12:23:55 PM)
My art and my writing? I appreciate what you're trying to say, but that makes no sense. I understand someone being passionate about their hair, and you would have to admit, you seem to invest a large amount of yourself into your hair, which to me seems unusual for most men, so perhaps it is your art. I highly doubt however, that a biological process equal to trimming one's nails is the same in general to the process of creating art, or literature. Maybe on an individual level, but those things are leagues apart. Between you and me, maybe not, since we're talking about passions. Oh, and I must give respect for the hair donations as well. That is one of the most noble causes that is very dear to me, and should I ever shear a submissive or slave in such a way, that's exactly where the hair would be going. I hesitate to say that, since that kind of noble cause detracts from the point. I suppose I'm curious about the conflict between submission and pure vanity.

nothing4ever -> RE: Hair-ed Limits... (1/26/2008 12:26:43 PM)
I also wanted to give you a "thank you" for this! It's so easy for some to just say I would never do it.. & leave it at that with so much lack of explanation. I also understand how it could grow pride, but I also think it should all be done in the cycle of things.

ForcefuIHands -> RE: Hair-ed Limits... (1/26/2008 12:29:27 PM)
christine1, you have just given me so much more than I expected out of this thread. Thank you so much.

DominaRapport -> RE: Hair-ed Limits... (1/26/2008 12:29:48 PM)
I tried to pin down the hair issue when I first encountered strong resistence in a male sub who went wild when I suggested shaving his head in a scene. All I can figure is some people identify their self image with hair included. Striping away a physical characteristic (Even if it will grow back) seems to be a very strong thing for them because it cannot be hidden or masked. Similar to being marked in public perhaps? I never quite got the motivation behind it, but it smacks of pride in image to me.

nothing4ever -> RE: Hair-ed Limits... (1/26/2008 12:29:50 PM)
I was always taught, by my mentor, that their was no room for my vanity in my submission. Maybe that is why I am so detached from things, such as hair that will come back in time. I wonder, how do this play into Dom's who require their submissive to have well manicured & kept nails.. be them short or long, isn't it similar to the hair?

xxblushesxx -> RE: Hair-ed Limits... (1/26/2008 12:30:33 PM)
If He wanted me to cut it I would. I don't think He would want that at all, though, because when I do get it cut, He stresses, NOT SHORT. My hair grows pretty slow, so, if you had a sub whose hair grows slow, you could do like someone else said and have her put it up. Same effect, I guess. Or, find someone who already has the style you like, maybe...Idk... ~Christina

nothing4ever -> RE: Hair-ed Limits... (1/26/2008 12:30:51 PM)
Amen to that one! Who knew we sparked on something so deep with simple hair questions! I honestly appreciate everyone's input on this!!

nothing4ever -> RE: Hair-ed Limits... (1/26/2008 12:32:57 PM)
But you keep it long for him do you not? So why is it so easy to keep it long for Him/Her but when He/She tells you to cut it, does it become an issue?

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