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Married men and women - 1/27/2008 11:14:02 AM   
takenbyjohnr07


Posts: 787
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		i see so many single people in the BDSM world involved with married men or women (secretly) some are happy and some are not. My question is what attracts you to the married person vs the single person who may actually be wanting a full time committment?

_____________________________

i am the sole property of Johnr. He is the love of my life and the greatest Owner and i will live to serve and, please him only every day of my life.
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RE: Married men and women - 1/27/2008 11:22:48 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Some people prefer relationships without full-time commitment.  Some people like the excitement of something that is forbidden.  Some people prefer to live in the here and now instead of waiting for something that may or may not come along.  I've never been with a married person so I'm just guessing about the attraction.  For some people there is nothing more powerful than having what they aren't supposed to have.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
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RE: Married men and women - 1/27/2008 11:40:02 AM   
takenbyjohnr07


Posts: 787
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		That is so very true. It's very easy to fall for a married man. Although nothing ever happened really between us, it was really hard getting back up for me.

_____________________________

i am the sole property of Johnr. He is the love of my life and the greatest Owner and i will live to serve and, please him only every day of my life.

(in reply to KatyLied)
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RE: Married men and women - 1/27/2008 11:40:09 AM   
Maya2001


Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline 		I did for a bit ...his wife knew, she was his sub and married him some 30 years ago he has had other subs ever since and loves introducing new people to the lifestyle, she feels very secure in her relationship with him and they have agreements which he has kept.   For me it was someone  I felt safe and secure with who could  introduce me to the lifestyle and learn from explaining safety in meeting, playing and with toys , some of protocols, even though it was short term and has been over with for several months, he is still a friend, confidant, advisor and shoulder to cry on if I need., for me it was a positive relationship, I have no regrets.   

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Lead me not into temptation - I can find the way myself

(in reply to KatyLied)
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RE: Married men and women - 1/27/2008 11:42:23 AM   
takenbyjohnr07


Posts: 787
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		That's wonderful! It's so nice when you can come away form somethng and have gained from it.

_____________________________

i am the sole property of Johnr. He is the love of my life and the greatest Owner and i will live to serve and, please him only every day of my life.

(in reply to Maya2001)
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RE: Married men and women - 1/27/2008 11:43:08 AM   
Kerjin


Posts: 41
Joined: 10/21/2005
From: Seattle, WA
Status: offline 		Are you referring to being with a married person when the married person spouse does not know of the relationship?

If so, it is nothing more than a simple case of someone having an affair, of cheating on thier spouse.  Personally I believe that a mans word is his bond.  If he's married and is living in a monogamous relationship, then he's being a bad little boy.


_____________________________

When I despair of the BS online, I remember that the ways of truth have always won. There are people that claim to be something that they are not, and, for a time, get away with the lie, but in the end they always fall. Think of it........ always!

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
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RE: Married men and women - 1/27/2008 11:48:15 AM   
takenbyjohnr07


Posts: 787
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Yes, i had written (secretly) in my thread. The spouse has no idea what's going on.

_____________________________

i am the sole property of Johnr. He is the love of my life and the greatest Owner and i will live to serve and, please him only every day of my life.

(in reply to Kerjin)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Married men and women - 1/27/2008 11:51:50 AM   
domahpet


Posts: 1505
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Santa Rosa
Status: offline 		take the happiness you can get, and be happy with it

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
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RE: Married men and women - 1/27/2008 11:53:35 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I have to agree on some level with that.  You really have no idea what is going on in another person's relationship.  I can see where it would be bad if one person starting having feelings beyond what was agreed to as far as relationship boundaries.  It's difficult to control where people's emotions go.

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“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to domahpet)
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RE: Married men and women - 1/27/2008 12:48:12 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Sometimes it's a matter of attraction to the person, not their marital status.

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to KatyLied)
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RE: Married men and women - 1/27/2008 1:44:15 PM   
Evility


Posts: 915
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07
i see so many single people in the BDSM world involved with married men or women (secretly) some are happy and some are not. My question is what attracts you to the married person vs the single person who may actually be wanting a full time committment?


This question assumes you have both before you to chose from (the versus part). Perhaps it is more "What attracts you to the married person versus spending all your time alone?". I'm not advocating hooking up with a married person nor am I criticizing it - I'm simply trying to add some clarity to your question. I think most folks would tend to prefer a single person if everything else were essentially equal. Life just doesn't always work out that way.

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
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RE: Married men and women - 1/27/2008 1:57:26 PM   
kinkypuppy2


Posts: 345
Joined: 11/4/2007
Status: offline 		I feel it should not be "secretly" but many do as it apparently give them a feeling of security that they will not be approched for a relationship with a commitment.


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See nic "Kinkypupper" also as "slvseeker" As I cannot reply to any posts or log into collarchat under that name I had to create this profile.

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
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RE: Married men and women - 1/27/2008 3:31:12 PM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07

i see so many single people in the BDSM world involved with married men or women (secretly) some are happy and some are not. My question is what attracts you to the married person vs the single person who may actually be wanting a full time committment?

I don't know about the "secretly" part....I am married but my husband has given me permission to have this D/s relationship I am having. I would assume the prevailing thought is married folks are "safer" emotionally...meaning since they are already committed they won't want that kind of commitment from another....Thats just my best guess......


_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Married men and women - 1/27/2008 3:56:37 PM   
littlebitxxx


Posts: 732
Status: offline 		I played with a married man for several months.  He has been married for 39 years to the same woman.  She was very straight vanilla and he was a kinky Dom.  She knew about his outside interests just didn't want to hear the details.  He used to drive her into town every couple weeks, drop her off and spend the afternoon with me.  She knew about me and I knew about her but that's as far as it went.  She allowed him to go off and do his kinky stuff knowing he would be returning to her in the evening.  It kept them both happy.  I know it kept me happy for the time, too.  

_____________________________

There is no such thing as can't unless it is followed by yet

It is the meaningless little acts that become meaningful in the doing.

The people that mind don't matter and the people that matter don't mind.

(in reply to breatheasone)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Married men and women - 1/27/2008 5:13:27 PM   
shysub0951


Posts: 132
Joined: 1/22/2008
Status: offline 		i'm talking with a married Dom and we have a lot in common but we would not be in a d/s relationship because i respect his wife and wouldn't want to come inbetween both parties. Even though she knows what he does, that's just a line i won't cross.
   With a single person, if i find a connection, then i will continue talking with them, going out for coffee or something and see if it's for real. And if so, fine, if not that's ok to.

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Married men and women - 1/27/2008 7:36:03 PM   
HeavansKeeper


Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		In my life I've met a lot of homewreckers.  They tell me there are plus sides to a married man. 

1) He's usally clean, meaning the amount of new partners he has is lower than that of a single man.
2) He's stable. If he can maintain 2 women, 2 kids, 2 cars, 2 dogs then he must be a fairly  "together" guy.
3) He's confident.  Without being cocky.  Because he has that "I don't need you, I choose you." allure.
4) He's wicked.  All the pent up sexual aggression from what is (apparently) an failing marriage means he has a beast to let out.  If only he told his wife he wanted to tie her down...

I don't think these are accurate, but they are what I've been told.

Personally, I hate the idea of infidelity.  Women put up with so much crap, they'd probably be relieved if the husband just was himself, for better and for worse (in sickness and in health, so long as you both shall live.  Also, your shared "Slavegirl" should probably say 'I do' too.)


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The Loving Owner of HisHeavan

... You've waited your whole life for this moment...

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
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RE: Married men and women - 1/27/2008 7:55:05 PM   
Aylee


Posts: 24103
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline 		He or She has been vetted, therefore it is a better choice than choosing alone.

_____________________________

Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam

I don’t always wgah’nagl fhtagn. But when I do, I ph’nglui mglw’nafh R’lyeh.

(in reply to HeavansKeeper)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Married men and women - 1/27/2008 8:03:33 PM   
KnOcala


Posts: 260
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline 		I am personally against having a relationship with a married person..  I personally feel in the long run, no good can come from it.

(in reply to Aylee)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Married men and women - 1/27/2008 9:16:18 PM   
Aynne


Posts: 740
Joined: 1/25/2008
Status: offline 		Don't ask me, I made the hugest mistake of getting involved with someone on here that is taken, he pursued me, and she has no idea.  Trust me, I am not the only one.  Then he lies about his activities to her , say he is just being a "Dom" and training others. Poor girl, I should tell her, what do you think?

_____________________________

*Yes I know I have no profile at this time...

I looked in your eyes
Without saying a word
I told you what I am
And I hoped that you heard

~Owned and Loved by Master Sifu~

*founder of I Love Lushy Inc.*

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Married men and women - 1/27/2008 9:17:43 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne

Don't ask me, I made the hugest mistake of getting involved with someone on here that is taken, he pursued me, and she has no idea.  Trust me, I am not the only one.  Then he lies about his activities to her , say he is just being a "Dom" and training others. Poor girl, I should tell her, what do you think?


Yes, and every other cheater on here.

Out them all, every one.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to Aynne)
Profile   Post #: 20
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