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Submissive Mistress - 1/28/2008 4:20:51 PM

DoctorYale

Posts: 6
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline

There appears to be so much vitrol directed toward married men looking for a submissive, that I have been forced to consider the notion that American woman are relatively unsophisticated in their appreciation for enjoying the role of a submissive mistress to a married man. This is quite acceptable in other societies, both European and Asian. Therefore, I am left to ponder the fact that while submissives proudly proclaim they are not bound by conventional sexual mores, they are still constrained by conventional patters of relationships. Those seeking a 24/7 relationship or a LTR seem, at least to me, to be wanting a marriage although calling it by a different name. Where are there truly open minded, sexual and sensual American woman who would proudly serve as their Dom's mistress ?

Post #: 1

RE: Submissive Mistress - 1/28/2008 4:38:02 PM

littlebitxxx

Posts: 732
Status: offline

Because the twue-ly open minded sexual sensual North American women are worthy of more than to play second fiddle. Unsophisticated? I think not. Discerning? Definitely.

_____________________________

There is no such thing as can't unless it is followed by yet

It is the meaningless little acts that become meaningful in the doing.

The people that mind don't matter and the people that matter don't mind.

(in reply to DoctorYale)

Post #: 2

RE: Submissive Mistress - 1/28/2008 4:40:56 PM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

been there and didn't enjoy being the other woman to two of my formers as their submissive mistress. there was never enough time devoted to the attention i wanted from them.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to DoctorYale)

Post #: 3

RE: Submissive Mistress - 1/28/2008 5:17:17 PM

ItalianSMistress

Posts: 427
Joined: 1/19/2007
From: Niagara Region Ontario Canada
Status: offline

wtf are you talking about? I dont know if I had too much to smoke or what, but that makes no sense to Me at all. I can not make heads or tails out of what you are saying.

_____________________________

Governess

"Dominance is the ability to create a hunger in someone that's so strong they will do anything, anytime, anywhere just to please you."

http://italianmistress.livejournal.com/

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 4

RE: Submissive Mistress - 1/28/2008 5:22:06 PM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

I AM sophisticated enough to when smoke is being blown up my ....uhm...(ok, so maybe I'm NOT sophisticated, but I do KNOW)

*LOL*

(in reply to ItalianSMistress)

Post #: 5

RE: Submissive Mistress - 1/28/2008 5:34:26 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ItalianSMistress

wtf are you talking about? I dont know if I had too much to smoke or what, but that makes no sense to Me at all. I can not make heads or tails out of what you are saying.

He's saying women that won't be a sub to a married man are flawed for feeling that way. He seriously needs to get over himself and realize married = not available and saying no = making healthy decisions that that type of relationship is too limited for what that one desires. (yawn)

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to ItalianSMistress)

Post #: 6

RE: Submissive Mistress - 1/28/2008 6:51:02 PM

youngsubgeoff

Posts: 900
Joined: 9/25/2007
From: The Asylum
Status: offline

pass that over here, Im just as confused...

_____________________________

You dont need to question my sanity, I can assure you Im quite mad. Its ok though, all the best people are

(in reply to ItalianSMistress)

Post #: 7

RE: Submissive Mistress - 1/28/2008 6:54:03 PM

ItalianSMistress

Posts: 427
Joined: 1/19/2007
From: Niagara Region Ontario Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

quote:

ORIGINAL: ItalianSMistress

wtf are you talking about? I dont know if I had too much to smoke or what, but that makes no sense to Me at all. I can not make heads or tails out of what you are saying.

He's saying women that won't be a sub to a married man are flawed for feeling that way. He seriously needs to get over himself and realize married = not available and saying no = making healthy decisions that that type of relationship is too limited for what that one desires. (yawn)

Why thank you Laurell, at least I know now that I just did not understand cuz he is a moron, and not cuz I am, LOL

_____________________________

Governess

"Dominance is the ability to create a hunger in someone that's so strong they will do anything, anytime, anywhere just to please you."

http://italianmistress.livejournal.com/

(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 8

RE: Submissive Mistress - 1/28/2008 7:01:24 PM

kittengirl8

Posts: 120
Joined: 11/11/2007
Status: offline

Thank you for translating for us, laurell. Took me a while to catch his meaning. Also DoctorYale, don't be silly. Just because people live an "alternative lifestyle" doesn't mean they don't see how stupid affairs are. (Note: Not looking at open or poly relationships. Looking at flat-out lying, cheating, behind-the-back affairs.) They are detrimental to a marriage, and harmful to the "other woman" (in your discussion, the "submissive mistress").

At least, I don't particularly fancy being in a relationship with a married person. It just seems... not right (unless they were married to me, heh).

Disclaimer: Only my personal thoughts. I don't mean to offend anyone, or pass judgement. I just think the OP's an idiot.

~kitten~

(in reply to ItalianSMistress)

Post #: 9

RE: Submissive Mistress - 1/28/2008 7:12:18 PM

hisannabelle

Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline

greetings doctoryale,

because i think that being an open-minded, sexual, sensual woman also means having fidelity in my relationships - and if a man is going outside of his marriage to be with me, unless his wife knows about it and is okay with it, i'm not interested. one of the things i desire in a master is integrity. a man in that position is not honest with himself and he's not honest with anyone else, and those are just issues i'm not interested in dealing with. my role as a slave is not to aid someone else in playing the escapist; a person in that position, in my opinion, is in no way a master. i also am not interested in playing a part-time slave to someone who can only see me when his wife is not around. i don't necessarily expect a marriage, but i am a slave all the time, not a part-time fling.

respectfully,
annabelle.

_____________________________

a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to DoctorYale)

Post #: 10

RE: Submissive Mistress - 1/28/2008 7:14:07 PM

littlebitxxx

Posts: 732
Status: offline

Seconded to all the above. Motion passed. Next.

_____________________________

There is no such thing as can't unless it is followed by yet

It is the meaningless little acts that become meaningful in the doing.

The people that mind don't matter and the people that matter don't mind.

(in reply to kittengirl8)

Post #: 11

RE: Submissive Mistress - 1/28/2008 7:21:34 PM

liminalRapture

Posts: 181
Joined: 9/6/2007
Status: offline

In my ideal world it would be 'marriage' by that name. I certainly don't want to get to that point after a date, or three. I want to find someone that I can truly respect and admire. But yes, I want someone to grow old with. Someone to laugh with. Someone to be there when I cry and be there for them. I want to share a subscription to The New York Review of Books and argue over what dipshit is saying in his SOTU address. And work like hell together for a POTUS that isn't such a putz. Or maybe go to the pols together to cancel each other's primary vote. I want all the things that come with marriage, when it is good. And on top of that, I want to know that we truly connect on an erotic level.

I've had men lecture me about this, the history and the dignity, offer to pay my mortgage (without meeting me--wtf?), harrangue until I found the 'block' button and then set up a new profile because I hadn't blocked that name yet. My answer always remains No. I want a chance at a "We." I know there are no guarantees in life, and I'm not going to settle with someone that just meets a few qualities but I don't deeply connect with. But if he has pledged his life to someone else, than he has committed to the future as much as if I demanded a ring on the third date. It won't work for me. If that makes me unsophisticated, well, I don't really care. "Sophistication" is not something to which I aspire. And if I did, I'd just spend more money on shoes. They are much more prestigious than being some guy's mistress. But if you are willing to pay her expenses, I expect you will find someone. Isn't that how it usually works?

If you don't like American women, why don't you go to one of those sophisticated countries where lots of cute, young, submissive women would just love to be sexually submissive with no strings to an older 'doctor' from Yale.

But, I will give you credit for one thing: You are open about your marital status here, and that is good. Very good. You are exactly what I'm NOT looking for, but I appreciate the fact that you are honest. At least here. If I were your wife, on the other hand....

< Message edited by liminalRapture -- 1/28/2008 7:27:24 PM >

_____________________________

"Ring the bells that can still ring. Forget your perfect offering. There's a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in." Leonard Cohen.

(in reply to littlebitxxx)

Post #: 12

RE: Submissive Mistress - 1/28/2008 7:45:28 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DoctorYale

There appears to be so much vitrol directed toward married men looking for a submissive, that I have been forced to consider the notion that American woman are relatively unsophisticated in their appreciation for enjoying the role of a submissive mistress to a married man. This is quite acceptable in other societies, both European and Asian. Therefore, I am left to ponder the fact that while submissives proudly proclaim they are not bound by conventional sexual mores, they are still constrained by conventional patters of relationships. Those seeking a 24/7 relationship or a LTR seem, at least to me, to be wanting a marriage although calling it by a different name. Where are there truly open minded, sexual and sensual American woman who would proudly serve as their Dom's mistress ?

Oh my lord...what is going on the forum tonight? So many stupid threads, so little time....

Now we have another dissatified married dude who in his utter frustration, decides to put down intelligent, discerning single women who want single men for relationships as being unsophisticated, and less so than their European counterparts. Is that what's up, Doc?

What is there to enjoy, pray tell? You want an extramarital affair because your wife is vanilla. Boo Hoo.

So what's in it for any single woman? We get to share you with your wife and kids, we get to have little to no time, we get no weekends, no holidays, we get to be the "secret" oooooh baby, sign me up!

Why don't you grow some cojones and either a. get rid of your wife b. tell your wife you are cheating c. go after married women who want to cheat d. become poly e. move to Asia or Europe where flocks of highly sophisticated single subs should be bum rushing you for the chance to be an expatriate Texan's mistress.

And stop whining.

(in reply to DoctorYale)

Post #: 13

RE: Submissive Mistress - 1/28/2008 7:58:07 PM

MistressNoName

Posts: 664
Joined: 10/26/2006
Status: offline

Listen, Doc-

If you think there are no American women who are willing and in fact, very much involved with married men, you've got another thing coming. There are plenty of women, kinky and vanilla, who go this route for whatever reasons. I tried it myself, ever so briefly. Hated it. Sneaking around and waiting around the phone like a lovesick puppy got old really fast. If some people like the idea of cheating around, bully for them. But how come it's not ok for some of us to detest this way of life?

One feature I'd love to see added would be a simple check box to indicate whether one is single, in a ltr or what...that way, one could just search on that variable. It might save a lot of time and energy in finding compatible partners.

MNN

_____________________________

aka Ms Petal - Check Me out on the Web.

(in reply to DoctorYale)

Post #: 14

RE: Submissive Mistress - 1/28/2008 8:08:01 PM

liminalRapture

Posts: 181
Joined: 9/6/2007
Status: offline

One more thing:

I live in Manhattan, where I own an apartment. Tonight, I was at the Thalia Political Follies at Symphony Space, walked down to Whole Foods to buy a couple of things, and came home to read The Economist and the NY Review of Books, while catching up on my NPR. Tomorrow, I'm going to Carnegie Hall to see Jerry Springer, The Opera, which I suppose is dubious for its sophistication credentials. But Friday I'm going to see Sunday in the Park with George (which I will see several times if it lives up to its advance rumor) and next week is Applause and the week after that is Patrick Stewart in the Scottish Play. And of course, I will be going to my favorite club for live music.

You live in a suburb of Houston. I don't think you can necessarily define "sophistication" for all of us.

Yes, I'm being catty, but I know this thread is in response to my last one; I can dish it out as good as anyone. I just choose not to most of the time.

_____________________________

"Ring the bells that can still ring. Forget your perfect offering. There's a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in." Leonard Cohen.

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 15

RE: Submissive Mistress - 1/28/2008 8:17:24 PM

liketophoto

Posts: 763
Joined: 6/17/2007
Status: offline

There are so many single males, why would a single woman want to go after someone that is unatainable for a LTR?

(in reply to DoctorYale)

Post #: 16

RE: Submissive Mistress - 1/29/2008 12:30:52 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: liminalRapture
I live in Manhattan, where I own an apartment. Tonight, I was at the Thalia Political Follies at Symphony Space, walked down to Whole Foods to buy a couple of things, and came home to read The Economist and the NY Review of Books, while catching up on my NPR. Tomorrow, I'm going to Carnegie Hall to see Jerry Springer, The Opera, which I suppose is dubious for its sophistication credentials. But Friday I'm going to see Sunday in the Park with George (which I will see several times if it lives up to its advance rumor) and next week is Applause and the week after that is Patrick Stewart in the Scottish Play. And of course, I will be going to my favorite club for live music.

You live in a suburb of Houston. I don't think you can necessarily define "sophistication" for all of us.

So true. I find it arrogant and provincial when people talk as though just spending time in their own city means they are sophisticated.

(in reply to liminalRapture)

Post #: 17

RE: Submissive Mistress - 1/29/2008 12:44:02 AM

sweetwenchie

Posts: 1993
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline

i've been the other woman... once, that was enough for me to realize that it was not the right relationship choice for me. However that does not make me unsophisticated or sexually repressed. When i choose to submit to someone, i give freely of myself, and would like the same in return. A married man simply cannot offer that. Seems that you are the one spewing vitriol. Perhaps relocating to another country where the weal twue submissive women are at would be your best choice in finding a mistress.

_____________________________

"To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object." - De Beauvoir

"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist." - Nietzsche

(in reply to DoctorYale)

Post #: 18

RE: Submissive Mistress - 1/29/2008 12:48:59 AM

scifi1133

Posts: 8529
Joined: 3/27/2007
From: virginia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetwenchie

i've been the other woman... once, that was enough for me to realize that it was not the right relationship choice for me. However that does not make me unsophisticated or sexually repressed. When i choose to submit to someone, i give freely of myself, and would like the same in return. A married man simply cannot offer that. Seems that you are the one spewing vitriol. Perhaps relocating to another country where the weal twue submissive women are at would be your best choice in finding a mistress.

Rotflmao weal twue....ahhh yes

_____________________________

I'm the happy fascist slut.
awwwwwww yeeeeeeeeah
And I see your schwartz is as big as mine.
My heart 10-01-72 / 10-16-09

(in reply to sweetwenchie)

Post #: 19

RE: Submissive Mistress - 1/29/2008 12:50:20 AM

MissMagnolia

Posts: 3636
Status: offline

The American ladies I know from here are sexy, savvy, sensual, twuley open minded and smart. Smart enough not to bother with some pretentious arsehole who's looking for a bit on the side.

If Asia and Europe are so great, try moving there.

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.

(in reply to sweetwenchie)

Post #: 20

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