RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? (Full Version)

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IronBear -> RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? (3/11/2008 11:04:02 AM)

Y'know age is really just a number, a chronicological indicator of how long you have been breathing. I know 21 year olds who command troops, are incharge of multi million dollar combat aircraft and no one in their right mind would doubt their ability to command, make vital decisions (mostly good ones) and be completely responsible. All these are necessary for being a good Master. They have something else which is needed in a good Master; Life experience (not to be measured in terms of time) and Maturity.  There are those who cant get their heads around that whilst i was a Gorean Lifestyle Master for near;ly 1-0 years and then a Victorian Lifestyle Master, in all over a decade as a slave Master, owner and trainer because I am still by many reconnings, a rooky in BDSM. My question would be, what are you a Master of?  I would see age only as a primary indicator of possible levels of maturity and experience no more nor no less. A very young Master will jolly well need to prove himself to me and have checkable rreferences from contactable credable referees before I'd allow him near any of my girls though. Once he had proved himself I would be happy to watch him playing at a party depending also on how he and any of mine reacted together and my personal view of him.

IB



SteelofUtah -> RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? (3/11/2008 11:10:01 AM)

Are we still on this one?

Okay I waited long enough I'll chime in.

This lifestyle is as diverse as the people in it.

One persons Master is another persons Joke.

A 21 Year Old Master is just was one girl is looking for while another sub yawns at the point.

As this lifestyle evolves for many people you start to see that what you can do is not HALF as important as who you are. And many slaves and subs waht a person, not a list of activities they can do.

I do not speak for everyone, I know this. But I believe that everyone can see some truth in what I am saying.

Your partner is your partner because they work for you, for some it is because of thier skill, for others thier experience, and for others simply because of the way they smile.

For everything that is a way of life for some is simply a passing concept to another.

~~This was a Fast Reply I really wasn't gunna read 14 pages of this. Hope I am not repeating everyone else~~

Steel



variation30 -> RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? (3/11/2008 12:25:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer

One additional note to show the years of life make a difference.
Lets take an impossible situation and explore it a bit to prove the point.
A time machine has transported a 25 year old Master back in time to meet his 21 year old Master self.
Who is going to be the wiser and better "Master"? Same man/woman same cognative ability, same relative maturity, all other things have been made equal between the two.

All other things being equal those 4 years of living will make a huge difference.



I tend to agree with you.

though I will never make certain statements about my...abilities, I will most certainly say that age is certainly important. very important. the importance of age isn't limited to hogtying someone with a ring gag in their mouth. it just as easily applies to every walk of life. age generally (I'm using this word because I do not want to be mistaken for setting this up as some type of principle or law) indicates experience. experience is what is important in every lifestyle from bdsm to parenting to driving to cooking to making kites and so on.

if someone twice my age and Myself were both part of a bdsm community, it woud strike me as natural - even logical - to assume the person twice my age has more experience. though I may have my positive traits, the odds are, I am the least experienced.

additionally, I'm not very impressed by someone my age who has been in the lifestyle for 5 years. there are very few 15-20 year olds who have the faculties to learn anything worthwhile during those ages. yes you may have been doing whatever you have been doing it for a while now, but while you were doing it...you were a child. I know anecdotal evidence isn't the most solid backing of an arguement, but I really don't care. I started playing piano at 5. at 10, a friend of mine of similar intelligence and ability started playing piano. he quickly advanced to where I was within a matter of years. how could this possibly be? I had been playing piano for twice as long as he had been. it was because there is only so much a 5-10 year old can learn (with the notable exceptions of people like Mozart) because, quite frankly 5-10 year olds are pretty dumb. I think it's fantastic that people were experimenting when they were 15-20, but I cannot help but scoff at them for expecting the respect that would be given to someone who had been doing this during his or her *adult* life.

just do what you do. if it makes you and someone happy, you can't ask for more than that.
Question: who cares if someone looks up at you for being a shining young dominant prodigy or down at you for being insecure and needing validation?
Answer: not a single person who takes what they do seriously.

a lot of this is just dancing around a mostly semantic argument of what 'good' is. perhaps that at this moment, I'd be perfect for someone. perhaps twenty years from now, despite my age and experience, I would be horrible for someone. as far as dealing with situations of a freaking out slave, how to cane someone with a bamboo rod without fucking them up, how to tie someone up into a wonderful little ball-gagged sculpture (my favorite is where her hands are suspended above her, one of her legs bent behind her and above her, and the other leg standing only on her tiptoes) without inflicting serious nerve damage that would result in paralysis, or how to discipline an individual who does not please you...I would err on the side of experience as being 'good'. which would mean I would say the older someone is, the more likely they are to have a clue at what they are doing.



LilMissHaven -> RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? (3/11/2008 12:31:19 PM)

Am I the only one who needs an interpreter half the time?



Justme696 -> RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? (3/11/2008 12:45:24 PM)

If you have questions...ask the poster. That is the best thing  about a forum.



BOUNTYHUNTER -> RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? (3/11/2008 1:39:33 PM)

Like in every thing else its the experienced gained not the age of a Master,I know some very young DOM'S that have their shit together on other hand at events I have met older Dom's that are still struggling in the lifestyle and uses bullshit to cover up their lack of experience....If you need advice on something don't be afraid to ask,You may be surprised that many will be so open to giving advice and your standing in the community will grow as well..While I lack the experiece in fire play and recently a young Dom gave me some great advice and I admire the young man in his approach with me..open honest and not a chest thumper...I will value his friendship and he will always be a welcome guest in my home... So don't be so quick to dismiss a young man or woman for their age...bounty



Archer -> RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? (3/11/2008 1:55:25 PM)

But see Quadrum you eliminated the entire reason for the simplification.
ALL OTHER THINGS BEING EQUAL.
That is the hinge, the central idea that you have to function on, in order to determine if X makes one a better Y.

The moment you take and change anything other than X or those things that logicly follow X. you have changed the question.

Are you a better Master now than you were a year ago?
If not then maybe you should take a really hard look at yourself.
Have you spent a year not improving anything? Now granted between two seperate people the other variables have to come into play, but to decide if X (life experience in general) makes one a better Y (Master/dominant) you have to eliminate all other variables that could make you a better or worse dominant.

You said:
Suppose you start at 18 and you now are 48
So 30 years of your life spend in BDSM which following your line of reasoning is better than a person whos started at 18 and is now 21.

But that was not my contention my contention is That take a man who starts at 18 is he better at 21 than he was at 18? (The odds are he will be at the very least marginally better) In order to remove all the other variables you have to look at the same man then at 48. Is That same guy a better Master at 48 than he was at 21?
You can't change people mid stream an have a valid comparison.

Experience is thus proven not to be the deciding factor, but an influencing factor.
It is beyond question that it is an influencing factor.
How big a factor is a matter of opinion that can be argued, but that is not the argument I made.





trusting -> RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? (3/11/2008 10:54:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Owner4SexSlave

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessTeaze

How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master?
I find it hard to understand how one so young could have the understanding, wisdom and life experiance which is needed to be a Master.

From what age do you take them serious?

Thanks for your answers.

GoddezzT`




This is a Bit like asking how can a 21 year old possibly be a submissive or slave.
Finding it hard that they too have enough understanding, wisdom and life
experience to properly serve a Dom/Master.

Personally attitude, willingness, mindset goes a long long way. 
Besides how much experience does one truely need to do anything?

What's import is that both parties involved have the same mindset, and have enough
in common to make it happen.  

Besides many Doms have used their own parents as models and have learned things
from the households they were raised in.  So the Knowledge and experiences their
own parents have been instilled in them.   Stories and things their parents and family
has taught or passed along.   They have had 21 years to learn something after all.
There are some young people that are very mature.

On the flip side there are some 30 and 40 year olds that behave and act more like
14 year olds, who have not really learned much in life.




nicely written!!



Dnomyar -> RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? (3/12/2008 6:23:23 AM)

I would never dismiss a woman over 18 years old. Well if she had a mustache I probably would.



MasterWilliam55 -> RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? (3/12/2008 9:37:41 AM)

julia, If I understand you correctly, then training in protocol, behaviour, rituals, and play technique are Not required to call oneself a Master. These take time and several years to understand and master. It is possible for someone very young to accomplish this, buts it's rare. Having said this, it's not to much an issue of age, but one of experience. Older but newer Doms have the same problem. It's more a question of taking the time and having the exposure to learn the nuances of being a Master.

Someone once suggested to me, the lifestyle can be catagorized as a series of concentric circles whereby through exposure, hands on experience and some training you work from the outside to the center. An apt analogy I think.
Younger Doms have had less of an opportunity to experience this. It's possible though, just not plausable.

What we call each other or ourselves is not that important, but what we've experienced is.



Indemnis -> RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? (3/13/2008 2:09:08 AM)

<Fast reply> 
Now then.  I fail to see how it is any different than a 22 year old Sub, like myself.  I am mature and I know precisely what I like, and what I want.  I have for a very long time, since I was all but a little girl.  What I've wanted and needed hasn't changed in all that time, and probably won't.  (Not drastically at any rate, of course we all learn and grow.) 
My point in this rant is that there are just as many immature older Dominant men as there are mature young Dominant men.  I have seen 18-19 year olds on this site with more sense and wisdom, strength and common sense than some of the 50+ year olds.
Back around to the elusive point I am trying to make-- There are exceptions to every stereotype and unwritten rule.  Generalising is what it sounds very much like you are doing, despite what you said above... "How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master?" 
I take people seriously when they show me they are to be taken so, not because of the number of years they have lived.



Dnomyar -> RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? (3/13/2008 4:54:18 AM)

Mmmmm a 22 year old who thinks 18 years olds are very wise. That explains why the op posted this.



MasterWilliam55 -> RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? (3/13/2008 12:17:22 PM)

I have to laugh a folks telling me they were experimenting with dominance at 9, 10 or 15 years of age. Where I came from, that was called a temper tantrun.



Indemnis -> RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? (3/13/2008 10:59:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Mmmmm a 22 year old who thinks 18 years olds are very wise. That explains why the op posted this.

You obviously didn't read my whole post.  I said there are exceptions to every rule... some 18 year olds can be wise. 
Edited to say that I have to agree with MasterWilliam...  Who would a 9 year old find to Dom? <headshake>



Justme696 -> RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? (3/13/2008 11:33:56 PM)

quote:

Who would a 9 year old find to Dom?

that is the best ever example that an older one is not smarter then a younger person..
using kids as an example   lol

(teasing btw)

but agree...to keep it in the context......I can't even remember much from that age. I went to school, mom had tea ready when I came home...thats it.
Didn't tie up people...or punished them yet. Wasn't even allowed in the sex shop then :( to buy goooodies

good morning all...forgot to say that



bigdevs -> RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? (3/14/2008 1:10:26 AM)

I became involved in BDSM and D/s right after I turned 18 (and maybe a year or so before - at least reading about it). I know that only a few years experience isn't as much as someone who has been in the lifestyle for years. I also know that I feel more confident in My ability as a Dominant now that it's been over ten years since I first started reading and learning.

I think that some people are more mature than others. BDSM and D/s are all about learning. We are all at different points in our paths as Dominants (or submissives/slaves). While I don't feel a 21 year old is going to have the experience or knowledge someone with 10-15 years of lifestyle experience has, I feel that they are no different than the 40 year old who just got involved in BDSM at the age of 37. Life experience or not, you can be a good Dominant/Master if you listen, learn, read, are willing to accept your limitations, and actually wish to grow from any and every experience you have.

Not every 21 year old is ready, but neither is every new lifestyle 40 year old. I don't believe in rushing anything, but that's just Me and My two cents.



Duskwolf -> RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? (3/14/2008 1:29:08 AM)

Hmm... I guess coming from a 22 year old, this reply isn't going to mean anything, based on your opinion... :P  But I'll continue anyway.

I know for a fact that in my lifetime I've had more life experience than some people I know that are in their 30's and 40's even. I've seen things they've never seen, learned things they don't know or don't care to know, and I've done things they've never considered.

So does a number of years actually equal the ability to present oneself in any form? No.
Does a number of years only allow you to know, learn, understand, or appreciate so much? No.

A number of years, is just that, you can't measure what a person can learn, or experience in a set timeframe, it's different for every person.

Having said that, I'm in a similar boat with some of the people who find wording like "thanx" and "grinz" to be less than a convincing in this discussion... Especially taking into consideration the number of the "younger" generation who type in such a way. Ironic in a sense, isn't it?

But anyway. As far as anyone who won't take Me seriously because of My age, All I have to say to that is that they are too close minded. Plain and simple. Age is a number, not a limit to experience, not a barrier.

Thats My 2c though... Make of it what you will.



MASTERat21UK -> RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? (3/14/2008 2:09:42 AM)

quote:


From what age do you take them serious?

Thanks for your answers.

GoddezzT`


Age is never something to judge by. Certainly not on the basis of experience.

Tomas.




MASTERat21UK -> RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? (3/14/2008 2:15:04 AM)

Hear, Hear



Lynnxz -> RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? (3/14/2008 2:15:05 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MASTERat21UK

Age is never something to judge by. Certainly not on the basis of experience.

Tomas.



Sorry Tomas and Duskwolf, we have to wait about 20 more years before we can get our very own BDSM Licenses. Hurry, hide before they card us!



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