RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? (Full Version)

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LilMissHaven -> RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? (3/17/2008 4:36:24 AM)

It has been my experiance that men are like wine (cliche' I know but there is a small grain of truth in the saying).  But, for some unknown reason my mind and body simply respond to older men differently then they do men my own age.  It has nothing to do with age or experiance (because I lack both, there will always be a new experiance in both life and the lifestyle around the corner for me to face, it is just the way life is).

It doesn't matter so much what one knows or where they have been but how they have worked their way thru their personal trials and tribulations to today and how they plan on using those lessons life has taught them to better themselves and those around them and work their way thru the future that matters to me.

For myself, I look for patience.  A trait rarely seen in my generation (Lord knows I lack it) though I'm sure there are exceptions to every rule.   I need someone willing to demonstrate patience with not only myself but himself.  The spoken and written word have very little meaning to many deaf individuals, most are reliant on actions more then words.  I need someone patient enough to not only give me the space I need to get out what I'm trying to say so that he can understand my intentions, feelings, etc but patient enough to learn how to speak to me in a manner that I understand.

Unfortunately, I have just not seen that kind of patience demonstrated by the majority of my peers.  Instead I have been judged harshly and ridiculed.  Every word I say is a work of art...first I must think the right word to use then I must sound out each letter in my mind as I say it...resulting in slow, labored speech that many mistake for lack of intelligence.  I just don't believe my generation has been around long enough to learn not all books are as bad as their cover makes them appear.



Justme696 -> RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? (3/17/2008 5:02:19 AM)

quote:

to older men differently then they do men my own age.  It has nothing to do with age


that is interesting  ;)

(that was fun of course,   I know what you mean)



LilMissHaven -> RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? (3/17/2008 5:04:56 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

quote:

to older men differently then they do men my own age.  It has nothing to do with age


that is interesting  ;)

(that was fun of course,   I know what you mean)


Ah crap shot with my own gun!!

What I'm trying to say (I think) is that its not a conscious choice I make.  Just some undefinable force tends to guide me towards older men.



Banzai550 -> RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? (3/17/2008 5:08:38 AM)

I think in this big world, the balance of probabilities is such that there must be a 21 yr old male who has the proper mindet and maturity to be an effective Master, and there will be a sub or slave who will seek Him out and serve Him. 



WildeDanny -> RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? (3/18/2008 5:30:51 PM)

Everyone has their aptitudes, and Dominants are no exception. I agree with RoughFN, and that goes for any specialization. As to juliaoceania, I'd hardly draw a comparison bewteen childrearing and controlling a consenting adult. A 12 year old can give birth. One must have some amount of talent and ability, however, to gain and keep a respecting submissive.



Kirata -> RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? (3/18/2008 6:43:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LilMissHaven

What I'm trying to say (I think) is that its not a conscious choice I make.  Just some undefinable force tends to guide me towards older men.


Trust the force dear girl, trust the force.
 
Kirata
 
 



AquaticSub -> RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? (3/18/2008 8:36:30 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WildeDanny

Everyone has their aptitudes, and Dominants are no exception. I agree with RoughFN, and that goes for any specialization. As to juliaoceania, I'd hardly draw a comparison bewteen childrearing and controlling a consenting adult. A 12 year old can give birth. One must have some amount of talent and ability, however, to gain and keep a respecting submissive.


Unless the adult never grew up, I'd say it's harder to control the child. At least the adult (in theory anyway) wants to be controlled and tries to obey. Plus I imagine most 18+ submissives know not to stick their hands in the fire and put cats in the mircowave. Plus you at least know if the person under your charge is having unprotected sex or not. With you anyway.



Dnomyar -> RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? (3/19/2008 9:26:45 AM)

I wonder how many 21 years olds have read thru this whole post.



AquaticSub -> RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? (3/19/2008 9:47:33 AM)

Would it give them bonus lifestyle points? If so I've got tons... I've been reading through these threads since I first started looking at the boards. And I haven't even been here that long!



MasterWilliam55 -> RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? (3/19/2008 10:07:15 AM)

My previous posts in this thread clearly state my position on this topic. This is simply a question. "Who do we tend to go to for advice or information?" There are reasons people like Jay Wiseman or John Warren command the general respect of the community. They have experience. They have been there, done it, and have the tee shirt. I have a 23 year old Dom friend. He is a Master to his sub. He could teach me a thing or two regarding play skills, but he goes to an older Domme for advice on handling his D/s relationship and to learn new skills. Why?...simply because she has more experience. It's not so much age, but time, the time to get the experience. I don' much care what someone considers themself to be or his/her sub calls you their Master there was a time in a few communities that the title Master was given to you after you earned it. It meant something. I see here, that it means very little.

So who would you go to, in your community, for advice and knowledge, a 21 newly formed Master or someone highly respected for their years of experience?




Quadrum -> RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? (3/19/2008 10:17:52 AM)

When actually are you a master ?
What do your skills need to be ?

Reading this topic i get the feeling that people here think that when a man is in his 30's 40's, and he has one day experience he's a master for sure.

And when a 21 year old does it for years, this can be seriously doubted.

So, tell me from when is a master a master ?

Though i add to this that there are a lot of things i agree on.

It is a true fact that when you have a D/s problem you might go to the person who has the most experience.
which is probably the older one.

:)



BOUNTYHUNTER -> RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? (3/19/2008 10:36:55 AM)

A Master becomes a Master when he has Mastered himself nothing more nothing less...Bounty



Dnomyar -> RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? (3/19/2008 10:38:56 AM)

You are a Master when you have a bunch of little grasshoppers looking up to you. In reality you can never be a Master. A Master knows it all. Lol do we have any know-it-alls here.



Archer -> RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? (3/19/2008 11:24:02 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Quadrum

When actually are you a master ?
What do your skills need to be ?

Reading this topic i get the feeling that people here think that when a man is in his 30's 40's, and he has one day experience he's a master for sure.

And when a 21 year old does it for years, this can be seriously doubted.

So, tell me from when is a master a master ?

Though i add to this that there are a lot of things i agree on.

It is a true fact that when you have a D/s problem you might go to the person who has the most experience.
which is probably the older one.

:)


I've not seen that take in this thread myself.
On day one regardless of if you are 21 or 71 you are not going to be what I consider a capital M Master.

Now wheather it take you 2 years or 20 years to gain enough knowledge for me to  consider you a capital M Master, will depend entirely on too many factors to list.



MasterWilliam55 -> RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? (3/19/2008 12:24:35 PM)

Off hand, I don't know of any 21 year old that has Years of experience. There may be an exception or two somewhere..but I haven't met any. I've met young submissives with some degree of experience and good D/s skills. They often get started at a very early age, but Master/Mistresses take more time to mature and develop a knowledge base.

By the way, I don't think anyone here is suggesting that ALL those "older" folks who call themselves Master have any experience to base that on, but that was never the topic here. I't not about age as such, but the likelyhood of anyone at a very young age having the time or exposure to develop real skills. Of course there could be an exception. There likely is.

When is a master a Master??  In my most conservative moments and speaking in terms of community acceptance, It's when he/she has the experience, knowledge base, saggacity, patience, and wisdom to teach or offer well considered advice, and when your community recognizes these qualities. What your sub calls you or considers you to be in her/his eyes is only a personal relationship dynamic.  It has nothing to do with helping to define what a Master is.

What this thread is asking me to do is to accept the fact that anyone who call themselves something is automatically that thing. I just can't accept that. Age does play a part in my concerns simply because of time and exposure.




LilMissMisery -> RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? (3/19/2008 12:32:31 PM)

This 20-year-old has certainly read the whole thread.

I'm curious, OP - were you actually asking how a young man can be a Master, or were you stating your views that he could not?

It's very true that inexperience can be the kiss of death in a BDSM relationship. But everyone has to start somewhere. Putting aside the relative wisdom (or lack thereof) of presenting oneself as experienced when it's untrue - yes, a 21-year-old can be a Master (or a Mistress. Or a top, or a dom/me, or a Lord or a Lady or a Sir or whatever other appellation s/he chooses). Can a 21-year-old of any stripe have the unique weight of experience that an older, much more experienced dominant can have? Only in really exceptional circumstances.

There's talent, and then there's skill. A lot can happen in three years, but it takes a lot of experience and furthermore a lot of good judgment (you know - that which is acquired through experience, which comes through poor judgment) to really fill out the character of "older Dom." Just my two cents.



AquaticSub -> RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? (3/19/2008 2:23:04 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterWilliam55

So who would you go to, in your community, for advice and knowledge, a 21 newly formed Master or someone highly respected for their years of experience?


I'd go to someone highly respected for their years of experience. That doesn't imply age however, as I've met 21 year olds who have studied with other people, attained considerable skill and I've had 45-50 year old masters who ran into the middle of my scene, causing the potential of danger to me, themselves or others.

Age, in my experience, means little to nothing.



MasterWilliam55 -> RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? (3/19/2008 2:54:02 PM)

I don't doubt you. Just haven't met one yet.  Play skills are easier to learn then D/s life skills.



MasterWilliam55 -> RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? (3/19/2008 2:55:47 PM)

Rudeness and inexperience know no age.



AquaticSub -> RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? (3/19/2008 2:58:43 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterWilliam55

I don't doubt you. Just haven't met one yet.  Play skills are easier to learn then D/s life skills.


True. But that means little to me as well. I know of people whose relationships crumble in their 30s, 40s, 50s, and so on. It just depends on if both people are willing to make the effort. Looking around on this forum definately shows that simply having years of experience and age doesn't mean the relationship will work or that they are using their experience effectively.



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