RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master

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Stephann -> RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master (2/2/2008 10:33:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross any many masters encourage and train their slaves to question, often and deeply. yeah.... and what the fuck was I thinking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Same thing I was, I think... "I gotta do SOMETHING to drown out all these voices in my head...." Stephan

KnightofMists -> RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master (2/3/2008 9:20:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Stephann Same thing I was, I think... "I gotta do SOMETHING to drown out all these voices in my head...." Stephan I whack off!!!! can't hear anything then cause I am concentrating on the job at hand.

Prinsexx -> RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master (2/3/2008 10:53:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: daddyncherry quote: ORIGINAL: TEMPERANCE Further, as a slave do you actually have the right to question him on where he is going? My understanding of M/s relationships is that you don't... as your Master he does not have to answer to you... and if you really are in 'slave mindset' as you suggest then you should realise that its not your position to be questioning him, let alone be posting so negatively about him on a public forum. Personally, as one of the many in a M/s relationship...though one may not have the right to question (depending on your rules) there is alittle something called consideration that a Master would be wise to use with his slave....It's one thing to have no say so over where my Daddy goes when he has to travel every month on business it would be an entirely different animal if he called me from the car on the way to the airport and said he wouldn't be coming home for a few days. The difference is, i am always sad when he leaves, and i still sometimes cry but atleast i am well aware ahead of time, i am taken to get food and necessitites beforehand......the other way i would be beyond crushed...and feeling like i was nothing and like i had been just as good as abandoned. Thank you for this. It is the phrase 'i would be feeling as good as abandoned' which i really thank you for. look; i;m a bitch. i can switch; quick as a flash and i'm onto some bi-female like a nutress. So i am always aware that there is an energy inside me that might just break out and fuck the Master over and just be done with it. That might be, there is a possibility of me using that as a distraction, as revenge, as come'back....so when i get that 'good as abandoned' feeling i am also really truly staying loyal in those feelings of loss and not turning to my switch dynamic to fuck Him over. It's because i decided that i would switch with others in front of Him and for Him and not to fuck Him over. But there's another way in which i am choosing to be abandoned......emotional masochism for sure...but still as good as abandoned is maybe as good as it gets.

Prinsexx -> RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master (2/3/2008 11:03:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: julietsierra Remember that story recently about the people teasing the tiger at the LA zoo and what that tiger did? If you just keep in mind that that tiger could be a metaphor for menopausal women.. who knows. I may have just saved a life here. juliet omg juliet that too....sub drop + flu + those little prgesterone brown pill parts of HRT + master going abroad.+ extending my shelf life way way beyond its procreation stage equals.....well it's better that he had left the UK for a while.....maybe i need to make my menstrual cycle public property now as well???? fk is it part of collarme policy to ban women with progesterone drop as well? damn back to alt or craig's list........

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master (2/3/2008 11:04:34 AM)
No one has said it's wrong for you to feel the way you feel. We've point out how you are feeling those things based on irrational perspectives and can adjust them, but your feelings are your feelings. The problem arises when you allow your feelings to control your actions. And trust me when I say you got a LOT more courtesy than a LOT of masters give to their slaves in this instance and a LOT more courtesy than some slaves ever have an expectation of getting. So it's a bit like complaining you never see your dom when you're standing next to someone whose husband has been stationed overseas for two years without a visit home.

Jester0587 -> RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master (2/3/2008 2:17:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: daddyncherry quote: ORIGINAL: Jester0587 Oh, and I forget who wrote it, but don't hide behind hormones or it being 'A woman thing.' That's an excuse, a scapegoat really. Just because you feel bitchy once a month doesn't mean you can't control yourself. Awww how sweet you are to be so delluded.....and so gullible as to believe everything you read......trying living it, when you want to escape yourself because you can't stand you either...and there is nowhere far enough to run away from yourself....but you can't live it because you are a man You know what, I can't live it. You're right. What you overlooked was the fact that whatever you think inside your head doesn't HAVE to come out. There's a litte part of your brain saying "Don't say this" and if that isn't working then you force yourself to listen to yourself to censor it. Oh, and about not being able to escape yourself because you hate yourself, and you can't ever run far enough away. I can't live the version -you- have, but I can live with my own, and do. Props to juliet though, she at least had the sense to acknowledge that she wasn't fully sane at the time and hid herself away: quote: ORIGINAL: julietsierra Sure it does. And no, most of us can't just "control ourselves" (meaning our emotions). However, we do have options. When I get to that stage, I stay far away from the phone. I do not read sappy love stories. I try to make sure my family members are heading to their dad's (nothing quite like facing Grendal or Linda Blair on a pea soup day just cause you want to say "good morning mom"). And then, if it's one of "those" months - I cry my eyes swollen and pray the evening primrose oil kicks in soon. If it's a 'kill em all' kind of month, well, I just curse out inanimate objects. But if on top of that, I get hurt...then, I just PRAY that my innate desire for non-confrontation kicks in before anything else. So far, so good. But honey, at 20, you ain't seen nothin yet when it comes to the effects of the raging hormones of women - just wait till you and your age group get to the pre and menopausal stage. I guarantee you, you will have adjusted your belief systems to be somewhat more closely aligned to what my Master once told me when I was complaining about feeling so out of control. "We men understand. We understand you women are CRAZY! That's why, those of us who are my age have come to know just the right words to use when you get like this. We watch you carefully... we wait till you blink, and then we say "Yes Dear" and run, hoping that at the end of your blink, we're about a county away. That's pretty much the safety zone." By that time, he had the weepy me laughing so hard I couldn't believe that just the moment before, I was in "kill em or weep" mode, thanking the stars that we were having this conversation over the phone and not in person. But laughter or not, he knew that being around me then was NOT a good idea. And you don't have to be "masterful" to have an ounce of self-preservation. When it comes to menopausal women, discretion definitely IS the better part of valor and at the very least, it keeps relationships going and men alive. So.. in about 28 years or so, you let me know how that little idea of "women should be able to control themselves" is working for you. (yea, we should, but men, if they're smart, don't tease the tiger during this time. It's just not wise.) Remember that story recently about the people teasing the tiger at the LA zoo and what that tiger did? If you just keep in mind that that tiger could be a metaphor for menopausal women.. who knows. I may have just saved a life here. juliet It was you who changed my mind a bit, and I thank you for that. It's not often people keep level heads when I make a rather harsh remark, and I appologize. But, in what you said you have also told me something. Do you let yourself make deep decisions when you're like this? Also, you manage to hide yourself away, which is perfectly fine, we all do it sometimes, but the responsability is there to know that you needed it. I don't know what I'm getting at except that leaving your Master because you're having a bad day is a horrible reason. -Alex

julietsierra -> RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master (2/3/2008 6:20:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jester0587 quote: ORIGINAL: daddyncherry quote: ORIGINAL: Jester0587 Oh, and I forget who wrote it, but don't hide behind hormones or it being 'A woman thing.' That's an excuse, a scapegoat really. Just because you feel bitchy once a month doesn't mean you can't control yourself. Awww how sweet you are to be so delluded.....and so gullible as to believe everything you read......trying living it, when you want to escape yourself because you can't stand you either...and there is nowhere far enough to run away from yourself....but you can't live it because you are a man You know what, I can't live it. You're right. What you overlooked was the fact that whatever you think inside your head doesn't HAVE to come out. There's a litte part of your brain saying "Don't say this" and if that isn't working then you force yourself to listen to yourself to censor it. Oh, and about not being able to escape yourself because you hate yourself, and you can't ever run far enough away. I can't live the version -you- have, but I can live with my own, and do. Props to juliet though, she at least had the sense to acknowledge that she wasn't fully sane at the time and hid herself away: quote: ORIGINAL: julietsierra Sure it does. And no, most of us can't just "control ourselves" (meaning our emotions). However, we do have options. When I get to that stage, I stay far away from the phone. I do not read sappy love stories. I try to make sure my family members are heading to their dad's (nothing quite like facing Grendal or Linda Blair on a pea soup day just cause you want to say "good morning mom"). And then, if it's one of "those" months - I cry my eyes swollen and pray the evening primrose oil kicks in soon. If it's a 'kill em all' kind of month, well, I just curse out inanimate objects. But if on top of that, I get hurt...then, I just PRAY that my innate desire for non-confrontation kicks in before anything else. So far, so good. But honey, at 20, you ain't seen nothin yet when it comes to the effects of the raging hormones of women - just wait till you and your age group get to the pre and menopausal stage. I guarantee you, you will have adjusted your belief systems to be somewhat more closely aligned to what my Master once told me when I was complaining about feeling so out of control. "We men understand. We understand you women are CRAZY! That's why, those of us who are my age have come to know just the right words to use when you get like this. We watch you carefully... we wait till you blink, and then we say "Yes Dear" and run, hoping that at the end of your blink, we're about a county away. That's pretty much the safety zone." By that time, he had the weepy me laughing so hard I couldn't believe that just the moment before, I was in "kill em or weep" mode, thanking the stars that we were having this conversation over the phone and not in person. But laughter or not, he knew that being around me then was NOT a good idea. And you don't have to be "masterful" to have an ounce of self-preservation. When it comes to menopausal women, discretion definitely IS the better part of valor and at the very least, it keeps relationships going and men alive. So.. in about 28 years or so, you let me know how that little idea of "women should be able to control themselves" is working for you. (yea, we should, but men, if they're smart, don't tease the tiger during this time. It's just not wise.) Remember that story recently about the people teasing the tiger at the LA zoo and what that tiger did? If you just keep in mind that that tiger could be a metaphor for menopausal women.. who knows. I may have just saved a life here. juliet It was you who changed my mind a bit, and I thank you for that. It's not often people keep level heads when I make a rather harsh remark, and I appologize. But, in what you said you have also told me something. Do you let yourself make deep decisions when you're like this? Also, you manage to hide yourself away, which is perfectly fine, we all do it sometimes, but the responsability is there to know that you needed it. I don't know what I'm getting at except that leaving your Master because you're having a bad day is a horrible reason. -Alex It sure is! But here's the thing... when dealing with an emotional sadist, the difference between a bad day and not being able to continue is often very difficult to discern. "A bad day" very often isn't just "a bad day" but a string of them, one more painful than the other, until you figure out the lesson present in them. Until that point, they're just days in which you're hurting. Once they're over, you kind of shake your head, wondering why you didn't see whatever very simple lesson makes itself known ahead of time and think "Man! That was silly of me!" It's the time in between that can make or break a person and a relationship. As far as hiding myself away... I'm speaking optimistically when I say that's what I do. Often, especially at my age, the calendar can't tell me with any degree of accuracy anymore when this stuff is going to kick in. I have work, people to take care of and a home to keep running. Sometimes, the only thing that keeps me level headed during this time is hearing from or spending time with my Master. It's the consistency that keeps me "whole" at that point. However, when he's not around, my angelica kicks in and she's a bitch. It's not because I'm bitchy. It's because I'm NEEDING that comfort. It's often (at least for me) a very frightening time precisely because I DO maintain a lot of control over my behavior, thoughts and feelings. During this time, the controls don't work so well and thoughts that were confident and all that get thrown all out of whack. If he can't call, or is busy or for whatever reason, can't talk to me, that angelica side of me kicks in and all of a sudden, with nothing from him other than I havent spoken to him, I'm just so sure he doesn't care, is walking away, has no less than 3-5 other women he's seeing that I don't know about, did I mention doesn't care?...and on and on and on, until it occurs to me that none of this is true at all and I crawl into bed and try to forget about the day. And from what my girlfriends tell me, my bouts of this are calm compared to theirs - and they aren't EVEN involved with an emotional sadist. This is just them in their late 40s and early 50s getting through life. Add someone living with that person and the discussions change from "why isn't he calling me" to "why did he throw the pillows on the floor after I just finished washing all the sheets and pillowcases?" or "why in the world does it take an act of Congress to get him to rinse off his plate after he gets a snack that's all sticky?!" and so on and so on - even though these very same actions wouldn't bother us at any other time. So, to tell someone very nonchalantely that they should just not make any decisions during this time, while correct, is not taking into consideration that it simply is a very difficult time and not at all the way you think it should be when you're in your 20s. (and yea, when I was in my 20s, I thought the same thing of my mother and conversely, what I would NEVER do when I was in my 40s. My mother likes to remind me of this - OFTEN...and now, I realize what I couldn't realize back then - that we really do have no control over much of how we react these days. Or at least I don't. To my Master's credit, when he sees that I'm having a difficult month, he kinda stays away so that I don't have the OPPORTUNITY to make difficult decisions when I'm in a difficult place. juliet

daddyncherry -> RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master (2/3/2008 8:21:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jester0587 quote: ORIGINAL: daddyncherry quote: ORIGINAL: Jester0587 Oh, and I forget who wrote it, but don't hide behind hormones or it being 'A woman thing.' That's an excuse, a scapegoat really. Just because you feel bitchy once a month doesn't mean you can't control yourself. Awww how sweet you are to be so delluded.....and so gullible as to believe everything you read......trying living it, when you want to escape yourself because you can't stand you either...and there is nowhere far enough to run away from yourself....but you can't live it because you are a man You know what, I can't live it. You're right. What you overlooked was the fact that whatever you think inside your head doesn't HAVE to come out. There's a litte part of your brain saying "Don't say this" and if that isn't working then you force yourself to listen to yourself to censor it. Oh, and about not being able to escape yourself because you hate yourself, and you can't ever run far enough away. I can't live the version -you- have, but I can live with my own, and do. Props to juliet though, she at least had the sense to acknowledge that she wasn't fully sane at the time and hid herself away: You are absolutely correct, not everything has to come out....no doubt, and i do my best to control what parts of it i can....but holding it in doesn't make it go away, it just makes it easier for others around me and less apologies that i would have to give later......i was just giving the reality that it isn't some made up thing to use as an excuse...that it can be a very real and painful situation for the person who has it. And the ability to control one's self during it, not always such an easy or even possible thing to do. i will cry at the drop of a hat (almost literally) cry over nothing. i do things a bit differently than juliet though, because i do allow myself time alone to watch a tear jerker kinda movie so that i can purge some of the intense emotions that are taking over my brain...this sometimes works wonders for me..... Also, sometimes you may be totally unaware of what is going on until it just falls out of your mouth and you're like "Oh fk did i just say that?!"....at that point i become aware, or inform my Daddy that i am embarking on PMS again (some months it comes and goes without warning or incedent, other months not so easy)...i will also ask at times to be beaten, to help my mind set and to give me some endorphin rush. So it isn't that i am advocating that a woman has no repsonsibility, just that it isn't a scapegoat or something so easy to control.....you can feel like Jekyl/Hyde, and out of control entirely.

Jester0587 -> RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master (2/3/2008 8:47:30 PM)
Daddyncherry:: I won't argue with that. Some things do slip out. A part of me still believes that many women use their once-a-month cycle as a scapegoat, however I will acknowledge that some get hit harder than others. julietsierra:: I understand what you're getting at about hormones running wild. Note that my young age is not completely lacking in spotting this. I won't go in to the whole who's and whats and how many because that's just rediculous. Point being, while I don't spend every waking moment arround someone 45-60, it's rare I go a full day without seeing one of the many in that age range I see on a regular basis. Also, pregnancies are similarly a hormonal fluxuation that can wildly sway moods, however it's rare I see a pregnant woman in public causing a scene because she's feeling that flux. Now I'm just ranting, sorry for that. Ran a 102.1 fever today and it's been making me all spacey. Rather fun really. In the end, it's all about personal experiences. I don't think I agree, nor will I ever agree, however I can agree to disagree as has been said so many times before.

daddyncherry -> RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master (2/3/2008 9:33:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: julietsierra It sure is! But here's the thing... when dealing with an emotional sadist, the difference between a bad day and not being able to continue is often very difficult to discern. "A bad day" very often isn't just "a bad day" but a string of them, one more painful than the other, until you figure out the lesson present in them. Until that point, they're just days in which you're hurting. Once they're over, you kind of shake your head, wondering why you didn't see whatever very simple lesson makes itself known ahead of time and think "Man! That was silly of me!" It's the time in between that can make or break a person and a relationship. juliet, your entire reply here sounds soooo much like me it is almost frightening but it also makes me feel much better to hear someone else voice such similar though processes and experiences. The above that i quoted has been me over and over and over again...While i am getting to the lesson i am in so much pain and i always wonder why oh why he won't do something to make it more clear to me to end my pain....Then, when i get that "Ah HA!" moment like you mention, everything is so crystal clear that i can't see how i'd been so blind. Thank you for this post.

Twitch23 -> RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master (2/3/2008 9:46:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx There are clearly three things all happening at the same ime here. First I have post scene blues and have 'come down' from the highs of a scene pretty suddenly 2 i have flu and or work stress related symptoms That's life, get over it and yourself. I feel you are somehow using this as some sort of an "excuse" to deny your Master his pleasure? Just who is the Master? quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx 3 Master called yesterday and said he was going away, didn't say where but He did say back next week. It hurt me, made me reel with shock, had left me second guessing everything and has also screwed up assignments He gave me. For who's pleasure exactly are these "assignments" and how dare you question the desires and needs of your Master? quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx I know this will happen again. I know I feel love and adoratin. I know He feels nothing at least He doesnlt give me feedback of caring, or afetr care or enough intimacy. Yes it will... as long as you allow you Master's love to be difined by how you think HE should express it. You should be grateful for everything he DOES give you, not questioning it. it is your Master's perogative to show you affection, or ignore you. Your Master's lack of attention should arouse a desire to please Him better... not leave him! No wonder He spurns you. You should try to be more worthy. quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx I have asked to be released and this will be the second time during 7 months where I have asked to be released and told No and been made to feel it is all my responsibility and that it is me who cannot really submit. Obviously you cannot and SHOULD be released quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx It is abandment and it has really fucked with my head. The pshyssical aspects of bdsm together are perfect for me and I love Him except this has been a very big, horrible 'drop'. How DARE you. YOU fail and you question your Master? Of COURSE it is your lack of submission. I fail to find ANY sort of submission ANYWHERE in your entire post. How would your Master feel submitted to? If you have been abandoned, as you claim, then what can you do to make your Master more intersted. YOU must hold HIS interest, not the other way around. YOU must please HIM. If he shows a lack of interest, then it is OBVIOUS where the problem lays, you do not adequately please Him. You can solve this one of 2 ways... run away, like a spoiled petulant child, OR try harder to act in a way that your Master finds more desirable.... it is obvious to me which choice you made. You expect Him to please you? To work His schedule around you, rather than you around His? That's not submission on your part, but rather dominant and demanding IMHO. quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx Is there a protocol for me as His slave, to leave, in a way that He gets it and doesn't do blackmailing, emotional manipulation and other things I have experienced whereby dominats attempt to keep me bound? TBH I can't understand why He keeps you. sounds to me like you have problems being submissive I cannot find anything sub-like anywhere in your post. You assume to be the equal of your Master... to have a valid claim on His time and affections and when He doesn't give you what you want... you want to leave?????? Am I the only one who thinks WTF???? BTW.... Blackmail, emotional manipulation (along with denial torture etc) are standard fare to the submissive/slave are they not? quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx Even as I am asking the questions I know I should know how to do it but I just don't and need advice as I don't want his insults or to lose his friendship based on this ending. So you DO consider Him an equal?? well that just ties it right there. quote: ORIGINAL: PrinsexxToo sad today to think much into the futre with this abandonment thrown at me. Embarassed to post as he has made it all my fault. it IS your fault, and if I were he, I would discharge you immediately and tell you not to let the door hit you.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master (2/3/2008 10:11:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Twitch23 For who's pleasure exactly are these "assignments" and how dare you question the desires and needs of your Master BTW.... Blackmail, emotional manipulation (along with denial torture etc) are standard fare to the submissive/slave are they not? Oh good grief, this again? No wonder so many people get into fucked up situations if they buy into as "how things should be."

sweetnurseBBW -> RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master (2/3/2008 10:17:21 PM)
We all know of your relationships, you post it here. You seem to live drama to drama. Take some responsibility for yourself and stop bouncing from Master to Master. You only have yourself to blame. Take some responsibility for your own actions and stop finding excuses to define them. Sorry its harsh but being blunt is the only way I can be sometimes.

YourhandMyAss -> RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master (2/4/2008 12:43:49 AM)
I would personally recomend therapy to get yourself and your issues sorted out before trying to get involved with any more relationships. quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx quote: ORIGINAL: DS4DUMMIES Prinsexx....his unwillingness to release you...is more BDSM "fantasy world" stuff....the choice is yours...NOT his....throw him the hell out on his ass and find someone who will truly value you.... How can I do that? when the dynamic is what it is? i have never thrown anyone the hell out on their ass, my pattern is always to remain and go back until they do the throwing of me out on my ass, clinging on like some linpid jelly fish begging to know what i did wrong....

julietsierra -> RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master (2/4/2008 3:16:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jester0587 Also, pregnancies are similarly a hormonal fluxuation that can wildly sway moods, however it's rare I see a pregnant woman in public causing a scene because she's feeling that flux. Ok... the best I can answer this is to give an analogy. I have a daughter. She's 20. She has down syndrome. She LOOKS like she has down syndrome. Her behavior is often inappropriate. Her behavior is often inappropriate in public. When it is, people just kind of smile and give me a look of sympathy while I get her to the point where she is again appropriate. In short, they make a LOT of allowances for her. I have this friend. Her child does not have down syndrome. He doesn't appear to have any characteristics that would indicate he is cognitively impaired (mentally retarded - people seem to understand this term much better). Yet he is. He is even less able to function appropriately than my daughter. He's not badly behaved. He simply is often not behaving well. He is also 20. When he is behaving inappropriately in public, people snarl and make comments. In short, his behavior is less accepted because he doesn't LOOK as if his behavior should be tolerated. He looks like any other 20 year old young man, but he's operating at about 9-13 years old. Remember how you acted when you were that age? Pregnant ladies cry and get upset and can be downright bitchy and people just pat their bellies and say "oh, I understand honey." Take a woman who is older with no discerning bodily changes other than those brought by age and have her act the same way and believe me, she's the bitch. No one is saying "oh, I understand honey" - except of course, other women of that age IF they recognize that she's not always like that. Trying to get back to the topic here, if Prinsexx were pregnant or something like that, many people would be sympathizing with her inability to control her emotions. They wouldn't be accusing her of "not being submissive." They wouldn't be lambasting her because she dropped out of control. They'd be patting her tummy, saying "oh, I understand honey." In my opinion, her biggest "crime" so to speak was to make her insecurity filled crying jag public. If you follow the thread, you'll notice she came out on the other side of that jag, a bit more intact, a bit more back in control. With an emotional sadist at the wheel, this is all very very normal. With an emotional masochist on the receiving end, while not "just another day," it also wasn't necessarily her tossing the Master out with the trash. It was her being caught in the whirlwind of emotion that these guys dish out - just to see how we handle it. Many people might not like that she handled it very publically, and personally, I'd never do that - it kind of ruins credibility. At the same time, what her very public crying jag HAS done is provide a forum for those who live like we do to see that there are others out there who have the same fears, the same angst sometimes and the same results. There aren't many of us who are involved in emotional sm, but there are more than I was aware of. Her very public jag helped to create 3 other threads having something to do with emotional sadism and masochism in which people started to recognize that this was indeed not just "abuse" but something valid in this lifestyle - even if they couldn't manage it or understand it. You're very right when you say that SOME women probably use their menstrual cycles as an excuse. Logic says with that many women in the world, there's got to be women who engage in this process. However, to put down the trapped in a tornado like feelings that many of us face during that time of the month as simply an excuse for bad behavior gives no room for empathy or compassion and in and of itself, can lead directly to the breakups you say shouldn't be decided upon when stressed. You see Jester, if you (the general you, not saying YOU'RE like this) can't take the time to know us at our worst, why are we giving you the time to know us at our best? Dominants are always testing submissives to see how far they can push them, what can they take. And yet, for a few days a month, they can't seem to manage what we take and deal with EVERY (or nearly every) month of our lives from the time we're ridiculously young till we're in our 50s. And for us, living in our bodies, it always gets worse before it gets better. If you don't want to deal with it for a few days each month, just imagine what it's like to live it for those days each month - every month - every year... and our only time off so to speak, is when we get even more hormonal as we have our children or when we get even MORE hormonal as we enter menopause. Next time you get really pissed off at a woman because she's acting out of control and all that, instead of thinking she's probably using her cycle as a scapegoat and an excuse to behave badly, you might want to take a moment and try to understand what she's feeling INSIDE - which I guarantee you, is a thousand times more volatile than you're seeing on the outside. juliet

lusciouslips19 -> RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master (2/4/2008 4:20:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Twitch23 ORIGINAL: Prinsexx quote: There are clearly three things all happening at the same ime here. First I have post scene blues and have 'come down' from the highs of a scene pretty suddenly 2 i have flu and or work stress related symptoms That's life, get over it and yourself. I feel you are somehow using this as some sort of an "excuse" to deny your Master his pleasure? Just who is the Master? quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx 3 Master called yesterday and said he was going away, didn't say where but He did say back next week. It hurt me, made me reel with shock, had left me second guessing everything and has also screwed up assignments He gave me. For who's pleasure exactly are these "assignments" and how dare you question the desires and needs of your Master? quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx I know this will happen again. I know I feel love and adoratin. I know He feels nothing at least He doesnlt give me feedback of caring, or afetr care or enough intimacy. Yes it will... as long as you allow you Master's love to be difined by how you think HE should express it. You should be grateful for everything he DOES give you, not questioning it. it is your Master's perogative to show you affection, or ignore you. Your Master's lack of attention should arouse a desire to please Him better... not leave him! No wonder He spurns you. You should try to be more worthy. quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx I have asked to be released and this will be the second time during 7 months where I have asked to be released and told No and been made to feel it is all my responsibility and that it is me who cannot really submit. Obviously you cannot and SHOULD be released quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx It is abandment and it has really fucked with my head. The pshyssical aspects of bdsm together are perfect for me and I love Him except this has been a very big, horrible 'drop'. How DARE you. YOU fail and you question your Master? Of COURSE it is your lack of submission. I fail to find ANY sort of submission ANYWHERE in your entire post. How would your Master feel submitted to? If you have been abandoned, as you claim, then what can you do to make your Master more intersted. YOU must hold HIS interest, not the other way around. YOU must please HIM. If he shows a lack of interest, then it is OBVIOUS where the problem lays, you do not adequately please Him. You can solve this one of 2 ways... run away, like a spoiled petulant child, OR try harder to act in a way that your Master finds more desirable.... it is obvious to me which choice you made. You expect Him to please you? To work His schedule around you, rather than you around His? That's not submission on your part, but rather dominant and demanding IMHO. quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx Is there a protocol for me as His slave, to leave, in a way that He gets it and doesn't do blackmailing, emotional manipulation and other things I have experienced whereby dominats attempt to keep me bound? TBH I can't understand why He keeps you. sounds to me like you have problems being submissive I cannot find anything sub-like anywhere in your post. You assume to be the equal of your Master... to have a valid claim on His time and affections and when He doesn't give you what you want... you want to leave?????? Am I the only one who thinks WTF???? BTW.... Blackmail, emotional manipulation (along with denial torture etc) are standard fare to the submissive/slave are they not? quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx Even as I am asking the questions I know I should know how to do it but I just don't and need advice as I don't want his insults or to lose his friendship based on this ending. So you DO consider Him an equal?? well that just ties it right there. quote: ORIGINAL: PrinsexxToo sad today to think much into the futre with this abandonment thrown at me. Embarassed to post as he has made it all my fault. it IS your fault, and if I were he, I would discharge you immediately and tell you not to let the door hit you. I really hate when people dont bother to read the entire thread before commenting. Once again a comment made on an emotion from a week ago when things are resolved and enlightened in the OP's heart and mind. sigh. I do hope this person figures it out before giving more outdated and nonapplicable "advice".

littlesui -> RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master (2/4/2008 11:54:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Twitch23 quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx There are clearly three things all happening at the same ime here. First I have post scene blues and have 'come down' from the highs of a scene pretty suddenly 2 i have flu and or work stress related symptoms That's life, get over it and yourself. I feel you are somehow using this as some sort of an "excuse" to deny your Master his pleasure? Just who is the Master? quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx 3 Master called yesterday and said he was going away, didn't say where but He did say back next week. It hurt me, made me reel with shock, had left me second guessing everything and has also screwed up assignments He gave me. For who's pleasure exactly are these "assignments" and how dare you question the desires and needs of your Master? quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx I know this will happen again. I know I feel love and adoratin. I know He feels nothing at least He doesnlt give me feedback of caring, or afetr care or enough intimacy. Yes it will... as long as you allow you Master's love to be difined by how you think HE should express it. You should be grateful for everything he DOES give you, not questioning it. it is your Master's perogative to show you affection, or ignore you. Your Master's lack of attention should arouse a desire to please Him better... not leave him! No wonder He spurns you. You should try to be more worthy. quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx I have asked to be released and this will be the second time during 7 months where I have asked to be released and told No and been made to feel it is all my responsibility and that it is me who cannot really submit. Obviously you cannot and SHOULD be released quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx It is abandment and it has really fucked with my head. The pshyssical aspects of bdsm together are perfect for me and I love Him except this has been a very big, horrible 'drop'. How DARE you. YOU fail and you question your Master? Of COURSE it is your lack of submission. I fail to find ANY sort of submission ANYWHERE in your entire post. How would your Master feel submitted to? If you have been abandoned, as you claim, then what can you do to make your Master more intersted. YOU must hold HIS interest, not the other way around. YOU must please HIM. If he shows a lack of interest, then it is OBVIOUS where the problem lays, you do not adequately please Him. You can solve this one of 2 ways... run away, like a spoiled petulant child, OR try harder to act in a way that your Master finds more desirable.... it is obvious to me which choice you made. You expect Him to please you? To work His schedule around you, rather than you around His? That's not submission on your part, but rather dominant and demanding IMHO. quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx Is there a protocol for me as His slave, to leave, in a way that He gets it and doesn't do blackmailing, emotional manipulation and other things I have experienced whereby dominats attempt to keep me bound? TBH I can't understand why He keeps you. sounds to me like you have problems being submissive I cannot find anything sub-like anywhere in your post. You assume to be the equal of your Master... to have a valid claim on His time and affections and when He doesn't give you what you want... you want to leave?????? Am I the only one who thinks WTF???? BTW.... Blackmail, emotional manipulation (along with denial torture etc) are standard fare to the submissive/slave are they not? quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx Even as I am asking the questions I know I should know how to do it but I just don't and need advice as I don't want his insults or to lose his friendship based on this ending. So you DO consider Him an equal?? well that just ties it right there. quote: ORIGINAL: PrinsexxToo sad today to think much into the futre with this abandonment thrown at me. Embarassed to post as he has made it all my fault. it IS your fault, and if I were he, I would discharge you immediately and tell you not to let the door hit you. Sorry Twitch23 I think you're a dickhead

laurell3 -> RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master (2/4/2008 12:26:06 PM)
Twitch, I think your profile pretty much says it all. However, if you are going to post here be prepared that not everyone here is "just here for shits and giggles" and whatever amuses them. It's pretty much standard fare to look at human beings as human beings and discard dogmatic, outdated role-defined dogma that is only detrimental to relationships and communication. If you chose to live your life that way, great, but be forewarned this approach of you ain't sub enough because I'm superdom won't fly well here. Most of us actually left the caveman ages long ago.

Prinsexx -> RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master (2/4/2008 3:12:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Twitch23 quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx There are clearly three things all happening at the same ime here. First I have post scene blues and have 'come down' from the highs of a scene pretty suddenly 2 i have flu and or work stress related symptoms That's life, get over it and yourself. I feel you are somehow using this as some sort of an "excuse" to deny your Master his pleasure? Just who is the Master? quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx 3 Master called yesterday and said he was going away, didn't say where but He did say back next week. It hurt me, made me reel with shock, had left me second guessing everything and has also screwed up assignments He gave me. For who's pleasure exactly are these "assignments" and how dare you question the desires and needs of your Master? quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx I know this will happen again. I know I feel love and adoratin. I know He feels nothing at least He doesnlt give me feedback of caring, or afetr care or enough intimacy. Yes it will... as long as you allow you Master's love to be difined by how you think HE should express it. You should be grateful for everything he DOES give you, not questioning it. it is your Master's perogative to show you affection, or ignore you. Your Master's lack of attention should arouse a desire to please Him better... not leave him! No wonder He spurns you. You should try to be more worthy. quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx I have asked to be released and this will be the second time during 7 months where I have asked to be released and told No and been made to feel it is all my responsibility and that it is me who cannot really submit. Obviously you cannot and SHOULD be released quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx It is abandment and it has really fucked with my head. The pshyssical aspects of bdsm together are perfect for me and I love Him except this has been a very big, horrible 'drop'. How DARE you. YOU fail and you question your Master? Of COURSE it is your lack of submission. I fail to find ANY sort of submission ANYWHERE in your entire post. How would your Master feel submitted to? If you have been abandoned, as you claim, then what can you do to make your Master more intersted. YOU must hold HIS interest, not the other way around. YOU must please HIM. If he shows a lack of interest, then it is OBVIOUS where the problem lays, you do not adequately please Him. You can solve this one of 2 ways... run away, like a spoiled petulant child, OR try harder to act in a way that your Master finds more desirable.... it is obvious to me which choice you made. You expect Him to please you? To work His schedule around you, rather than you around His? That's not submission on your part, but rather dominant and demanding IMHO. quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx Is there a protocol for me as His slave, to leave, in a way that He gets it and doesn't do blackmailing, emotional manipulation and other things I have experienced whereby dominats attempt to keep me bound? TBH I can't understand why He keeps you. sounds to me like you have problems being submissive I cannot find anything sub-like anywhere in your post. You assume to be the equal of your Master... to have a valid claim on His time and affections and when He doesn't give you what you want... you want to leave?????? Am I the only one who thinks WTF???? BTW.... Blackmail, emotional manipulation (along with denial torture etc) are standard fare to the submissive/slave are they not? quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx Even as I am asking the questions I know I should know how to do it but I just don't and need advice as I don't want his insults or to lose his friendship based on this ending. So you DO consider Him an equal?? well that just ties it right there. quote: ORIGINAL: PrinsexxToo sad today to think much into the futre with this abandonment thrown at me. Embarassed to post as he has made it all my fault. it IS your fault, and if I were he, I would discharge you immediately and tell you not to let the door hit you. Dearest Twitch But you are not He as He would have made sure the door hit me and yet as an emotional masochist you have truly made my day........ twitch twitch again shudder vomit

DS4DUMMIES -> RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master (2/19/2008 4:57:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissMorrigan Grief! You have no comprehension of what is actually occuring in this relationship, anymore than I, or anyone else does. The post is written with high emotion, when that happens a person's thought processes are skewed... you aren't being constructive nor helpful by telling her she should 'throw him the hell out on his ass'. For a person to feel valued, they most firstly value themselves. Therefore....given ... as you note....that none of us knows....everyone's take on it is equally valid. Maybe mine IS the best approach. If you don;t know the situation, how can you dismiss it as an option ? :)

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