RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master

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LuckyAlbatross -> RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master (2/2/2008 11:15:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx LA i am really not into scoring points. It's a good thing too.

julietsierra -> RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master (2/2/2008 11:27:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists quote: ORIGINAL: julietsierra Unfortunately, it's when the work becomes very public that everyone feels the need, freedom and indeed, right to criticize, demean and otherwise put down that person for doing the very thing that they say she should be doing. (And yes, I do understand that if you put your business out here, then you open yourself up to everyone's views) Yeah... How dare people feel the need, freedom and indeed right to criticize, demean or otherwise put down the a person for trying to help themselves! Just the other day... I had problems with my car... So I went to my doctor and asked what I can do about it! He gave great advice.. but I am still having problems with my car... so I went to another doctor for a second opinion. I just don't get it.... I have went to several Doctors and I am still getting the same problem with my car. I sold the damn car... cause I couldn't get it to work.... the guy I sold it to... well he put some gas in it and drove away rather happily. mmmmm I guess I shouldn't of given up and instead go and find another Doctor to seek advice from..... I bet the guy I sold the car too was a Doctor. The lesson I learned was never give up! And who knows... you post here what's wrong with your car, you just might find a good mechanic. Course, all the other folks who want to tell you that they think you should junk the car when they have no real idea of what that car's been doing will ALL chime in. And they'll never bother to listen to the mechanic who has dealt with that very same problem before.. But they'll all have something to say that they just KNOW is correct. Just the way it's happened here. mechanically speaking. juliet

Prinsexx -> RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master (2/2/2008 12:33:03 PM)
Well the thread started off by me saying: Is there a protocol for me as His slave, to leave, in a way that He gets it and doesn't do blackmailing, emotional manipulation and other things I have experienced whereby dominats attempt to keep me bound? and it's ended up with describing how to sell a dud car... even that's been done somewhat the same before but i'm just going to call it: Zen and the Art of Car Mechanics. The moral of the tale is that just when you are in you know, let's face it, that abandonment, needy moment, technically called being 'stuck' (see page 24 of the first edition of Zen and The Art of Motorcycle Maintainance) some jerk will talk about his motor bike or car but the analogy just go way way over the stuck person's head..... anyway back to Zen and the Art of Car Mechanics......i guess it just isn't up to me when to leave but i sure as hell would if the conversation was simply just about cars....

KatyLied -> RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master (2/2/2008 12:44:44 PM)
You have to be strong enough to want to leave in order for it to take. Can you ignore all contact? Positive and negative? As long as you allow someone in your life, there he will be. This speaks more to me about the dominants that you are choosing to have relationships with. Every once in a while we will run into someone who is dysfunctional, but every relationship (blackmailing, emotional manipulation and other things I have experienced whereby dominats attempt to keep me bound?) should not be that way. It's only up to you when to leave if you are strong enough to follow through.

Prinsexx -> RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master (2/2/2008 1:26:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied You have to be strong enough to want to leave in order for it to take. Can you ignore all contact? Positive and negative? As long as you allow someone in your life, there he will be. This speaks more to me about the dominants that you are choosing to have relationships with. Every once in a while we will run into someone who is dysfunctional, but every relationship (blackmailing, emotional manipulation and other things I have experienced whereby dominats attempt to keep me bound?) should not be that way. It's only up to you when to leave if you are strong enough to follow through. I hear loud and clear what you are saying. This time it was me who got the situation completely skewed. He phoned me to tell me he waould be away and i flipped the phone shut. Triggered so badly what with the flu and coming down off a scene and my abandonment issues. I was rude, kicking off and looking back acting like a jealous irrational spoilt child. Today i got clear headed and called and found out just what he was doing and really had the karma blown back in my face. He's on a spiritual retreat. The truth is i have never stayed, always kicked off, always been the one to leave.....that's my pattern in the face of both good and bad, but particulalrly in the face of someone who might deep down love me. i just don't 'experience personal 'love' very easily although i can say i love everyone with equanimity. THIS time this relationship is one of the hardest as He is teaching me the folllowing; patience, trust, submission, service, tanacity, faithfulness, devotion, selflessness and service. I've either paid lip service to it before or it's more far more of all of it than i have ever given that He wants from me. The contract is that i have given up my rights to be released unless He says so. Now the reality is that yes, of course i can leave the dynamic despite any contract but the truth is that no, no i can't leave it, one: in my head as i keep thinking about Him, two in my body, as i keep having those tantric no touch orgasms thinking about Him and three there is a spiritual something happening and i don't know what it is but everything is spiritual at some point. There's syzygy rather than just synergy between us and there's a great deal more could be produced by us stucking it out together...i mean in terms of professional work done together..................but at least i have figured out for me at least the difference between submitting and being enslaved. For me it means, right now, as i post, that i give up the right to leave and that does two things for me; makes me feel safer and two makes me realise how courageous others are who have given up their rights to leave also. Master is an emotional sadist and he uses a profoundly fixed understanding of his own emotions in exactly the way another might use a whip or a cane. He uses His steadfastness to mould me, to tame me, to change me and to teach me more about nyself. He's just like a mirror. And if i walk away from a mirror it's my reflection that disappears.

SeeksOnlyOne -> RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master (2/2/2008 1:53:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx Well the thread started off by me saying: Is there a protocol for me as His slave, to leave, in a way that He gets it and doesn't do blackmailing, emotional manipulation and other things I have experienced whereby dominats attempt to keep me bound? i would think that the answer to the question here is....do not become the slave to a man who would resort to blackmail....take more time to get to know someone before giving your self to them......

julietsierra -> RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master (2/2/2008 2:55:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx For me it means, right now, as i post, that i give up the right to leave and that does two things for me; makes me feel safer and two makes me realise how courageous others are who have given up their rights to leave also. Master is an emotional sadist and he uses a profoundly fixed understanding of his own emotions in exactly the way another might use a whip or a cane. He uses His steadfastness to mould me, to tame me, to change me and to teach me more about nyself. He's just like a mirror. And if i walk away from a mirror it's my reflection that disappears. By Jove! I think you've got it! I think you've really GOT IT!" (thank you Rex Harrison for that lovely statement... "The rain in spain falls mainly on the plain." ) Now.. hold on to it...that's the tough part. juliet

TEMPERANCE -> RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master (2/2/2008 4:00:09 PM)
Well this was an intresting post.... Im not quite sure how you are seeing your 'Master' going away for a week as abandonment, he told you he was going away, and when he would be returning, so im afraid this isnt abandonment in the true sense of the word. Further, as a slave do you actually have the right to question him on where he is going? My understanding of M/s relationships is that you don't... as your Master he does not have to answer to you... and if you really are in 'slave mindset' as you suggest then you should realise that its not your position to be questioning him, let alone be posting so negatively about him on a public forum. After reading the comments made and responses i would suggest that you are feeling needy and neglected, which is very different from abandomment . I suspect this is quite common when coupled with sub drop and not feeling very well. As far as i can see your Master has acted appropriately, and you seem to be acting completely irrationally regarding this matter.... Seriously though if you are that unhappy in the relationship you should just walk away.... Good luck...

Prinsexx -> RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master (2/2/2008 4:16:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: julietsierra quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx For me it means, right now, as i post, that i give up the right to leave and that does two things for me; makes me feel safer and two makes me realise how courageous others are who have given up their rights to leave also. Master is an emotional sadist and he uses a profoundly fixed understanding of his own emotions in exactly the way another might use a whip or a cane. He uses His steadfastness to mould me, to tame me, to change me and to teach me more about nyself. He's just like a mirror. And if i walk away from a mirror it's my reflection that disappears. By Jove! I think you've got it! I think you've really GOT IT!" (thank you Rex Harrison for that lovely statement... "The rain in spain falls mainly on the plain." ) Now.. hold on to it...that's the tough part. juliet i did... and holding on is indeed the hard part....

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master (2/2/2008 4:55:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TEMPERANCE My understanding of M/s relationships is that you don't... as your Master he does not have to answer to you... and if you really are in 'slave mindset' as you suggest then you should realise that its not your position to be questioning him, let alone be posting so negatively about him on a public forum. It would be helpful to remember that a slave can do whatever they want free of negative consequences from the master- as long as they have permission. Many many masters encourage and train their slaves to question, often and deeply.

Jester0587 -> RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master (2/2/2008 5:03:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: julietsierra quote: ORIGINAL: Rover He's leaving for a week and you're calling it "abandonment"? John who is biting his tongue so hard that it's bleeding Let's not forget that he actually called and TOLD her he was leaving for a week... and that's ABANDONMENT???!!! juliet (who is biting her tongue AND shaking her head) Forget biting your tongue. M'kay, seriously, so you'll miss him. Get over it maybe? I mean yes, not everyone is compatable with one another and maybe you two arn't compatable, but find a better reason than a week of him not being there mixed with some problems he can't really control. Oh, and I forget who wrote it, but don't hide behind hormones or it being 'A woman thing.' That's an excuse, a scapegoat really. Just because you feel bitchy once a month doesn't mean you can't control yourself. -Alex, who is...aw forget it.

Prinsexx -> RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master (2/2/2008 5:09:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: julietsierra quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx For me it means, right now, as i post, that i give up the right to leave and that does two things for me; makes me feel safer and two makes me realise how courageous others are who have given up their rights to leave also. Master is an emotional sadist and he uses a profoundly fixed understanding of his own emotions in exactly the way another might use a whip or a cane. He uses His steadfastness to mould me, to tame me, to change me and to teach me more about nyself. He's just like a mirror. And if i walk away from a mirror it's my reflection that disappears. By Jove! I think you've got it! I think you've really GOT IT!" (thank you Rex Harrison for that lovely statement... "The rain in spain falls mainly on the plain." ) Now.. hold on to it...that's the tough part. juliet There is no doubt that Master uses me, and i allow him to use me more than any other. Indeed his words are at times ~and now i am going to use you.~ When i say the mirror is held intact it is because of this: to Master i am the perfect body and of course to Him i am capable of all things and thus He will use me as am extension to Himself since even it is difficult for Him to stand at times...but to me, as beautiful as i might appear and as whole as i might appear, He is a reflection of and the incompleteness i was always reminded i was and therefore there isn't anything i would not do to make myself an extension of wholeness for Him. Does that sound more like i got it?

Prinsexx -> RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master (2/2/2008 5:10:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jester0587 Oh, and I forget who wrote it, but don't hide behind hormones or it being 'A woman thing.' That's an excuse, a scapegoat really. Just because you feel bitchy once a month doesn't mean you can't control yourself. swiftly passing you by........

daddyncherry -> RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master (2/2/2008 6:33:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jester0587 Oh, and I forget who wrote it, but don't hide behind hormones or it being 'A woman thing.' That's an excuse, a scapegoat really. Just because you feel bitchy once a month doesn't mean you can't control yourself. Awww how sweet you are to be so delluded.....and so gullible as to believe everything you read......trying living it, when you want to escape yourself because you can't stand you either...and there is nowhere far enough to run away from yourself....but you can't live it because you are a man

daddyncherry -> RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master (2/2/2008 6:38:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TEMPERANCE Further, as a slave do you actually have the right to question him on where he is going? My understanding of M/s relationships is that you don't... as your Master he does not have to answer to you... and if you really are in 'slave mindset' as you suggest then you should realise that its not your position to be questioning him, let alone be posting so negatively about him on a public forum. Personally, as one of the many in a M/s relationship...though one may not have the right to question (depending on your rules) there is alittle something called consideration that a Master would be wise to use with his slave....It's one thing to have no say so over where my Daddy goes when he has to travel every month on business it would be an entirely different animal if he called me from the car on the way to the airport and said he wouldn't be coming home for a few days. The difference is, i am always sad when he leaves, and i still sometimes cry but atleast i am well aware ahead of time, i am taken to get food and necessitites beforehand......the other way i would be beyond crushed...and feeling like i was nothing and like i had been just as good as abandoned.

domahpet -> RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master (2/2/2008 9:18:37 PM)
Is there a protocol for me as His slave, to leave, in a way that He gets it and doesn't do blackmailing, emotional manipulation and other things I have experienced whereby dominats attempt to keep me bound? how did you get fron this^ to that v? For me it means, right now, as i post, that i give up the right to leave and that does two things for me; makes me feel safer and two makes me realise how courageous others are who have given up their rights to leave also. and if "Master is an emotional sadist and he uses a profoundly fixed understanding of his own emotions in exactly the way another might use a whip or a cane.is true, and "He's just like a mirror. And if i walk away from a mirror it's my reflection that disappears. is true..... can someone please send me the short version? i thought the op had made it to a conclusion?

julietsierra -> RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master (2/2/2008 9:29:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jester0587 Oh, and I forget who wrote it, but don't hide behind hormones or it being 'A woman thing.' That's an excuse, a scapegoat really. Just because you feel bitchy once a month doesn't mean you can't control yourself. -Alex, who is...aw forget it. Sure it does. And no, most of us can't just "control ourselves" (meaning our emotions). However, we do have options. When I get to that stage, I stay far away from the phone. I do not read sappy love stories. I try to make sure my family members are heading to their dad's (nothing quite like facing Grendal or Linda Blair on a pea soup day just cause you want to say "good morning mom"). And then, if it's one of "those" months - I cry my eyes swollen and pray the evening primrose oil kicks in soon. If it's a 'kill em all' kind of month, well, I just curse out inanimate objects. But if on top of that, I get hurt...then, I just PRAY that my innate desire for non-confrontation kicks in before anything else. So far, so good. But honey, at 20, you ain't seen nothin yet when it comes to the effects of the raging hormones of women - just wait till you and your age group get to the pre and menopausal stage. I guarantee you, you will have adjusted your belief systems to be somewhat more closely aligned to what my Master once told me when I was complaining about feeling so out of control. "We men understand. We understand you women are CRAZY! That's why, those of us who are my age have come to know just the right words to use when you get like this. We watch you carefully... we wait till you blink, and then we say "Yes Dear" and run, hoping that at the end of your blink, we're about a county away. That's pretty much the safety zone." By that time, he had the weepy me laughing so hard I couldn't believe that just the moment before, I was in "kill em or weep" mode, thanking the stars that we were having this conversation over the phone and not in person. But laughter or not, he knew that being around me then was NOT a good idea. And you don't have to be "masterful" to have an ounce of self-preservation. When it comes to menopausal women, discretion definitely IS the better part of valor and at the very least, it keeps relationships going and men alive. So.. in about 28 years or so, you let me know how that little idea of "women should be able to control themselves" is working for you. (yea, we should, but men, if they're smart, don't tease the tiger during this time. It's just not wise.) Remember that story recently about the people teasing the tiger at the LA zoo and what that tiger did? If you just keep in mind that that tiger could be a metaphor for menopausal women.. who knows. I may have just saved a life here. juliet

junecleaver -> RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master (2/2/2008 9:29:39 PM)
quote: Is there a protocol for me as His slave, to leave, in a way that He gets it and doesn't do blackmailing, emotional manipulation and other things I have experienced whereby dominats attempt to keep me bound? Every relationship has its own protocol so I guess that's an answer only you can give yourself. Seems like that is an answer you would have already come to on your own. Leaving a person who would blackmail you if you left has little to do with a M/s dynamic and more to do with how you should deal with psychos.

KnightofMists -> RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master (2/2/2008 10:04:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: julietsierra And who knows... you post here what's wrong with your car, you just might find a good mechanic. Course, all the other folks who want to tell you that they think you should junk the car when they have no real idea of what that car's been doing will ALL chime in. And they'll never bother to listen to the mechanic who has dealt with that very same problem before.. But they'll all have something to say that they just KNOW is correct. well.. considering all that was wrong with the damn car is it needed Gas.... something that any competent driver should know... I am thinking... I am better off without the car. Hell.... I couldn't even explain what was wrong with the damn car for other drivers to understand what was wrong. yeah... I am better off without the car. Some people just need to learn some basics of relationships 101 before they jump into relationships.... or they are going to continue to repeat the drama over and over again.... such people don't tend to get much respect after a few circles around the barn. Such people are at a much higher risk of just getting taken, used, hurt or worse. Frankly, I don't have much pity for those that keep going in circles.... Stupid is as Stupid does.... sad.. but true

KnightofMists -> RE: is there a protocolfor leaving a Master (2/2/2008 10:06:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross any many masters encourage and train their slaves to question, often and deeply. yeah.... and what the fuck was I thinking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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