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born into your role? - 1/30/2008 1:19:34 PM

mellomyst

Posts: 23
Joined: 8/24/2005
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hi, i was just wondering, most people ask me how did i become submissive, and what was my first experience.

Well to be honest i have always known to some extent that i like to be controlled even when i was around 8 or 9 my favourite types of games involved me being restrained or controlled so to be fair i have always known i was submissive just not known what it was.

Can anyone else relate to what i a mean?

Post #: 1

RE: born into your role? - 1/30/2008 1:45:17 PM

takenbyjohnr07

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Joined: 11/26/2007
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Of course, i know i do. i was born to serve the man i love, and i knew it from a very young age. It has always been with me, and i have never had any doubts about my feelings.

_____________________________

i am the sole property of Johnr. He is the love of my life and the greatest Owner and i will live to serve and, please him only every day of my life.

(in reply to mellomyst)

Post #: 2

RE: born into your role? - 1/30/2008 1:57:22 PM

phoenixinchains

Posts: 2534
Joined: 4/5/2007
From: i live here
Status: offline

some people are going to strongly feel they were, some won't feel they were born that way at all. some are just happy they figured themselves out

i hadn't started to understand until early double digits, and we'll leave it at that.

_____________________________

OWNED BY CHAOSFORGE.
purrfectly happy slave of Chaosforge.

http://www.myspace.com/phoenixofchaosforge
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(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)

Post #: 3

RE: born into your role? - 1/30/2008 2:57:47 PM

greyangelus

Posts: 192
Joined: 1/22/2008
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Hey mellomyst.

There was a veeery long thread just dealing with this last week iffin your interested.

(in reply to phoenixinchains)

Post #: 4

RE: born into your role? - 1/30/2008 3:28:41 PM

OedipusRexIt

Posts: 634
Joined: 11/15/2005
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You can take this question, and apply it to so many things:

Were you "born" that way, or did you "become" it.

In science and philosophy, it's known as the "nature versus nurture" question. Or, sometimes, "free will versus determinism". Take a look at John Calvin on Wiki, and you'll be off and running.

Many pscyhologists use this question as something of a litmus test. Where you come down on it says a lot about your views on personal responsiblity, active vs. passive nature, humanism or theism ... the list is a long one.

Me? I was born a horny, hetero male with a strong personality. My environment and experience reinforced these traits. I took what I liked about myself and worked to make it better, while taking what I didn't like, and learning to do without it. Therefore, I would say:

Both.

If I'd been shaken, instead of stirred, it could have been a different mix.

edit: basking in my own wisdom, I noticed I'd left the "c" out of psychologist...

< Message edited by OedipusRexIt -- 1/30/2008 3:29:40 PM >

_____________________________

"My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die..."

(in reply to greyangelus)

Post #: 5

RE: born into your role? - 1/30/2008 3:33:44 PM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OedipusRexIt

Many pscyhologists use this question as something of a litmus test. Where you come down on it says a lot about your views on personal responsiblity, active vs. passive nature, humanism or theism ... the list is a long one.

edit: basking in my own wisdom, I noticed I'd left the "c" out of psychologist...

Is it wrong that it amuses me that you still spelled it incorrectly?

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to OedipusRexIt)

Post #: 6

RE: born into your role? - 1/30/2008 3:39:40 PM

quick

Posts: 1053
Joined: 1/16/2008
Status: offline

Wrong? Maybe. Funny? Definitely. That sort of thing happens to me far too often to NOT find it funny.

(in reply to CalifChick)

Post #: 7

RE: born into your role? - 1/30/2008 3:39:56 PM

OedipusRexIt

Posts: 634
Joined: 11/15/2005
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It's really never wrong to be amused. It can sometimes be wrong to laugh in someone's face.

.... not in this case, however! I get so lazy, I write, I think "proofread" and then I think "naaaah!" and hit the button.

What is it about acting in haste, and repenting at leisure?

... did I spell "naaaah" right?

_____________________________

"My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die..."

(in reply to CalifChick)

Post #: 8

RE: born into your role? - 1/30/2008 3:41:56 PM

CalifChick

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Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OedipusRexIt

... did I spell "naaaah" right?

I believe you spelled it correctly.

Cali "Don't Call Me William" Strunk

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to OedipusRexIt)

Post #: 9

RE: born into your role? - 1/30/2008 3:41:58 PM

quick

Posts: 1053
Joined: 1/16/2008
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I fear you may have one too many A's in there.

(in reply to OedipusRexIt)

Post #: 10

RE: born into your role? - 1/30/2008 3:44:29 PM

Jeffff

Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
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there is an "h" in naaaaaaaa?

Jeff

(in reply to quick)

Post #: 11

RE: born into your role? - 1/30/2008 3:45:56 PM

quick

Posts: 1053
Joined: 1/16/2008
Status: offline

It is silent, for some. Not so silent for others.

(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 12

RE: born into your role? - 1/30/2008 3:47:50 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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I was born an evil goofy controlling batich..........I just grew up and got comfortable with it.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to mellomyst)

Post #: 13

RE: born into your role? - 1/30/2008 3:53:33 PM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: quick

It is silent, for some. Not so silent for others.

Damn - that's actually quite profound.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to quick)

Post #: 14

RE: born into your role? - 1/30/2008 4:08:56 PM

daddyncherry

Posts: 656
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline

i kind of feel like i was born to be this way and then the circumstances in my life furthered it...then i began to seek it out in some ways...then directly to where i am now.

i recall being you and into 'slave" day at school...where you'd have to carry another's books or stuff....i got such a rise outta that in like 4th or 5th grade (after hearing that that was to come in middle school)...then asking aboy if i could be his "slave"...somehow, i kind had actually put it together, maybe from some odd media intrusion into my psyche, or maybe a past life memory (whoTF knows)

When i was 15 i did something so ultra "the Secretary" when a young bf of mine thought he threw his retainer into a dumpster at Burger King...in trying to be a good gf, i hopped in there and searched for it, while he remained all clean outside of the dumpster.

As a junior i got a bf who was older...he would leave me a list of chores to do and if they weren't done (at my Mom's house) then he would turn around and leave and i would be "grounded" from seeing him...he also made me bring progress reports home weekly from school

The list goes on...but yeah, i think i was born to be who i am now.

edited: in case something i wrote was against TOS

< Message edited by daddyncherry -- 1/30/2008 4:10:02 PM >

_____________________________

Hugs,
cherry

Walking through life, and fear with a smile on my face.
Walking directly through the eye of the hurricane...and through to the other side..without fear....realizing everything will be okay. :)

being obedient 1day at a time

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 15

RE: born into your role? - 1/30/2008 4:11:04 PM

lateralist1

Posts: 886
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline

Always been dominant it's in the genes.
Found out I was BDSM when I was about ten.
Just never thought anyone would actually like me treating them the way I wanted to until a few years ago.
Still won't really believe it unless I find him.

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 16

RE: born into your role? - 1/30/2008 4:23:16 PM

quick

Posts: 1053
Joined: 1/16/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: quick

It is silent, for some. Not so silent for others.

Damn - that's actually quite profound.

the.dark.

And damn if that didn't make me smile *S*.

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 17

RE: born into your role? - 1/30/2008 5:03:30 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

If we look, I think everyone can. I hated it when I got cast as Wonder Girl to my older friend's Wonder Woman. I'd get captured and she'd rescue me. It SUCKED, but I liked her enough to go along....besides, I was young (5ish?) and she was close to 10. But, I remember very time we played, I asked, "Can't YOU get tied up for once?"

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Ms Relationship Books
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BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to mellomyst)

Post #: 18

RE: born into your role? - 1/30/2008 5:30:48 PM

Gleegal67

Posts: 218
Joined: 6/18/2007
From: Phoenix
Status: offline

I was born the nurturer in the family. Growing up, my nurturing ways and submissiveness to the Dominants in the family were expected at all times.

For example, I was in charge of my siblings/younger family members, the household duties, the food preparations. I was in charge of keeping the peace during family/friend functions. I was to always anticipate the needs/wants of others - most of all the Dominants and their friends during these gatherings.

I do know that I was a key person in making sure that the environment was safe, and that the family and their friends could have great memories of those times together. Even to this day, I am still expected to plan and organize the food and entertainment for all the family gatherings. Which I thoroughly enjoy and know that I am very efficient to accomplish their goals set for me.

I do find it interesting now, almost after 30 years, that my family is starting to acknowledge my hard work and efforts. Which is sweet. I do not require their acknowledgments, but it is wonderful for them to start learning to see beyond themselves...and for that...I am most proud of their individual growths!

I know I was born submissive. I also know that in my youth, my environment was chosen for me, and it strengthened my submissiveness. Now as an adult, I have chosen an environment that assists to perfect my submissiveness.

Now, I'm off to plan a surprise 40th birthday party for a cousin of mine...

Michele
*always the gleeful one*

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 19

RE: born into your role? - 1/30/2008 7:15:30 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

I borrowed this line from someone on here.

From the womb to the tomb, many of us were born this way.

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to mellomyst)

Post #: 20

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