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Experience or converted? - 9/4/2005 11:08:30 PM   
kc692


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To the Dommes: Of the submissive/s you have now and/or have had in the past, have a majority already had expererience in WIITWD? Or have they been someone you met in everyday life, and sparked their interest in D/s and then started them down the path? Have the majority of meetings taken place from meeting online or everyday life?
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RE: Experience or converted? - 9/5/2005 5:10:29 AM   
MsSonnetMarwood


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From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
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I almost exclusively see subs who are experienced at this point. I got tired of the "dance of indecision" so many novices go through a long time ago. I strongly prefer to be with a submissive who has a good idea who he is, what he needs, and what he can offer.

I am fairly open about who I am in social situations, so yes, I have encountered vanillas who have been intrigued. In particular I have who thinks if he actively pursues me enough, I'll introduce him to all this despite the fact that he's married with two kids :-). NOT going to happen.



_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

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RE: Experience or converted? - 9/5/2005 6:14:43 AM   
Oumae


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The majority have had some experience. I am happy to talk with sincere new subs and when there has been a connection I have introduced a couple to some light play.
I've met most of the subs I know through online or munches.

Oumae

_____________________________

Is cuma le fear na mbrog ca leagann se a chos.
( The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot)

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RE: Experience or converted? - 9/5/2005 9:10:48 AM   
LadyAngelika


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quote:

ORIGINAL: kc692
To the Dommes: Of the submissive/s you have now and/or have had in the past, have a majority already had expererience in WIITWD? Or have they been someone you met in everyday life, and sparked their interest in D/s and then started them down the path?


I'd say 50/50. Though I can totally appreciate someone who has experience, there is a certain thrill about leading someone to discover something new and exciting. When I meet someone with experience, I'll always want to take them further then they've been. It's the huntress in me. <weg>

quote:

ORIGINAL: kc692
Have the majority of meetings taken place from meeting online or everyday life?


Over the last 5 years, I have used online & phone meeting services to hook up with about 50% of my lovers/play partners. But I see it only as a way to make contact. I personally get no fulfillment out of online & phone play.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

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RE: Experience or converted? - 9/5/2005 10:28:18 AM   
MsPurrmeow


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I have met with/talk to/hooked up with mostly people who, at minimum, are not new to the concept. They may not have a lot of experience, but they've at least thought about the lifestyle a lot for a good length of time. I don't like dealing with "newbie" uncertainty" either. And, of course, if or when they decide it's not for them, they end up blaming the person they were with the most.

To date, I've at least had some form of previous contact online with all but one. With him, I had contact with his partner (newbie pseudo-Domme) and they came over to the house together for a rope lesson. She bailed out of the lifestyle right away, he stuck around. He had more experience than her, but not much of it was real-life.

Experience isn't the Holy Grail. The one that had the most real-life experience also had the most bad-baggage. Very little of his previous relationships had been nurturing or fulfilling, so it cast a lot of hesitation into our relationship. I appreciated that he was darn sure he was kinky and knew he couldn't "go back to vanilla", so there was some good in it.

So, I've had several different types of backgrounds. The only one I hesitate on is the shiny-brand-newbies that have just recently come across the idea and have yet to process the idea much.

Purr

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RE: Experience or converted? - 9/5/2005 10:57:49 AM   
MsSonnetMarwood


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quote:

So, I've had several different types of backgrounds. The only one I hesitate on is the shiny-brand-newbies that have just recently come across the idea and have yet to process the idea much.

Purr


I think I'd be more open to meeting a novice who has spent SOME time learning about all this as opposed to someone who has spent years learning but has not done anything about it. I think there's a time limit to learning...you need to get out there in a reasonable amount of time otherwise fantasies and wild imaginations makes real too daunting.

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

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RE: Experience or converted? - 9/5/2005 2:10:47 PM   
TexasMaam


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I'm out of sorts today and shouldn't answer. The last thing I want to hear from a convert gone awry is that I'm a controlling sadistic biatch, when they've been the one to ask for the experiences. No thanks, I'll pass on that. Give Me an experienced sub over the plaintive emails from the 'i've been trying to discover my submissive side and see where it goes, find out whether i'm really a sub or not' ANY day. Like others who have responded, I'll take a newbie to train under the right circumstances, but if I'm going to truly have fun I want a boy with at least some level of pain tolerance and craving. My experiences with vanilla converts has been disastrous, so I don't enter into any relationship now unless the fellow knows who he is and what his needs and wants are. Texas Maam

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RE: Experience or converted? - 9/5/2005 3:03:00 PM   
LadyAngelika


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Not to pry TexasMaam, but are you writing this from experience? I've introduced many an unsuspecting boy to WIITWD and never once had negative feedback from it. Some went back to vanilla-like relationships after but were grateful for the experience.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

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RE: Experience or converted? - 9/5/2005 7:05:31 PM   
LadyHibiscus


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Thankfully, My experiences with scene virgins have been like LA's, always positive. However, I don't seek new ones out, and haven't in years----I just don't have the patience to help someone "find" themselves.

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RE: Experience or converted? - 9/5/2005 8:39:31 PM   
TexasMaam


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Ditto!

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RE: Experience or converted? - 9/5/2005 8:41:42 PM   
TexasMaam


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1. Yes.
and
2. Good! I'll send the novice little buggers YOUR way!

Texas Maam

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RE: Experience or converted? - 9/6/2005 5:14:07 AM   
LadyAngelika


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quote:

ORIGINAL: TexasMaam
1. Yes.


I'm sorry to hear that.

quote:


2. Good! I'll send the novice little buggers YOUR way!


Actually, there is a difference between a novice who wants to genuinely learn and someone trolling. I have no time for trolls but if I meet someone who is a novice and with whom I have affinity, I just might take a chance. Everyone needs to start somewhere, right? I mean, there was a time when you were a "novice little bugger too", right?

- LA


_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

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RE: Experience or converted? - 9/6/2005 6:14:24 AM   
Beatmehrdr


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Pardon my newbieness, but what is WIITWD?

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RE: Experience or converted? - 9/6/2005 10:48:15 AM   
softandshy


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What it is that we do ~smiling~ i had to ask too.

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Happy "Swamp Thing"

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RE: Experience or converted? - 9/6/2005 10:59:14 AM   
kc692


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Joined: 3/24/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Beatmehrdr

Pardon my newbieness, but what is WIITWD?


what it is that we do...the shortened version of it anyway, smiles.

I myself have met some subs online, and some in everyday life, but the subs I have actually met with that are from online contacts were not BDSM sites. I agree with LadyAngelika, I have only looked at the internet as a possible means of contact, and have never had any expectations of online versus everyday contacts being more productive than the other.

I met my present pet through the internet, but it was not on a BDSM site. Actually, (in my opinion) he is of the yummy variety that never thought about being involved in WIITWD, and, never, if he would have been approached, thought he had a submissive bone in his body. From our conversations, he became very interested, took the initiative and has started reading all the information he could get, including this site forums. Although unexperienced, he very much has the desire to learn, and desire to please me in all respects. He has been able to wrap his mind around the service aspect, and doing this as a way to get kink is not his goal. He is intelligent and eager, and while he definitely shows respect to the Ladies on this forum, knows his submission is to me and me alone. So, although experienced may be nice, in this case I am very happy to mold him for me.

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RE: Experience or converted? - 9/6/2005 8:36:55 PM   
TexasMaam


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Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline

[/quote]

I mean, there was a time when you were a "novice little bugger too", right?

- LA

[/quote]

Actually, no. I was not a novice little bugger. By which I mean I was not a mature adult drooling over online erotica and dying to try it out with a pecker in My hand. I was a very young, and impressionable apprentice to a discriminating European Domme because that is what I was raised to be. I left the lifestyle and came back to it after I reached adulthood, and was hardly a novice little bugger having spent four years in training as an apprentice. I wouldn't recommend it as an entry into the lifestyle but the facts are what they are.

I haven't seen you query anyone else on these boards as to whether T/they speak from experience, or not. You singled Me out for your quip, which took Me by surprise.

Be that as it may, I prefer an experienced sub. I'm entitled to My preferences. You are equally entitled to yours.

Texas Maam

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
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RE: Experience or converted? - 9/6/2005 10:27:39 PM   
Ojedieu


Posts: 142
Joined: 1/17/2005
From: Michigan
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kc692

To the Dommes: Of the submissive/s you have now and/or have had in the past, have a majority already had expererience in WIITWD? Or have they been someone you met in everyday life, and sparked their interest in D/s and then started them down the path? Have the majority of meetings taken place from meeting online or everyday life?



Well now it is nearly 50/50 for initially meeting online vs. corrupting a 'nilla :) Most meetings take place in everyday life, even if I originally get to know them online.


_____________________________

Ojedieu

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RE: Experience or converted? - 9/7/2005 11:48:40 AM   
kc692


Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ojedieu


quote:

ORIGINAL: kc692

To the Dommes: Of the submissive/s you have now and/or have had in the past, have a majority already had expererience in WIITWD? Or have they been someone you met in everyday life, and sparked their interest in D/s and then started them down the path? Have the majority of meetings taken place from meeting online or everyday life?



Well now it is nearly 50/50 for initially meeting online vs. corrupting a 'nilla :) Most meetings take place in everyday life, even if I originally get to know them online.




So, do you have a preference in experienced or corrupting a 'nilla??

(in reply to Ojedieu)
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RE: Experience or converted? - 9/7/2005 6:41:56 PM   
TexasMaam


Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline

[/quote]: kc692[image][/image][code][/code]

I met my present pet through the internet, but it was not on a BDSM site. Actually, (in my opinion) he is of the yummy variety that never thought about being involved in WIITWD, and, never, if he would have been approached, thought he had a submissive bone in his body. From our conversations, he became very interested, took the initiative and has started reading all the information he could get, including this site forums. Although unexperienced, he very much has the desire to learn, and desire to please me in all respects. He has been able to wrap his mind around the service aspect, and doing this as a way to get kink is not his goal. He is intelligent and eager, and while he definitely shows respect to the Ladies on this forum, knows his submission is to me and me alone. So, although experienced may be nice, in this case I am very happy to mold him for me.
[/quote]

kc692,

I'm fascinated that you've been so successful introducing this sub to WIITWD. I'm just curious, what was the initial topic that was broached between you, conversationally, that led to discussing the subject?

Was it he, or was it you, who first mentioned anything related to BDSM?

Please share, and thank you for your posts, I enjoy them.

Texas Maam

(in reply to kc692)
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RE: Experience or converted? - 9/7/2005 7:59:41 PM   
kc692


Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: TexasMaam


: kc692[image][/image][code][/code]

I met my present pet through the internet, but it was not on a BDSM site. Actually, (in my opinion) he is of the yummy variety that never thought about being involved in WIITWD, and, never, if he would have been approached, thought he had a submissive bone in his body. From our conversations, he became very interested, took the initiative and has started reading all the information he could get, including this site forums. Although unexperienced, he very much has the desire to learn, and desire to please me in all respects. He has been able to wrap his mind around the service aspect, and doing this as a way to get kink is not his goal. He is intelligent and eager, and while he definitely shows respect to the Ladies on this forum, knows his submission is to me and me alone. So, although experienced may be nice, in this case I am very happy to mold him for me.


quote:

kc692,

I'm fascinated that you've been so successful introducing this sub to WIITWD. I'm just curious, what was the initial topic that was broached between you, conversationally, that led to discussing the subject?

Was it he, or was it you, who first mentioned anything related to BDSM?

Please share, and thank you for your posts, I enjoy them.

Texas Maam



Thank you for your kind words about my posts, smiles.

I do empathize with your views, but like LA and some of the others, I will tell you, there ARE nilla's out there that will definitely suprise and please you. Here is part of the story about my pet.

We originally met on a vanilla swingers site. I am the moderator for a local group locally, and set up regular meet and greets for the members. He very graciously offered his home for a bbq, as he is on the road alot(he is an over the road truck driver) and since unable to come to alot of the meet and greets, wanted to have one at his home to be able to get to know some of the members in a quieter non bar setting. Since he is on the road, he asked me if I would help him keep track of the online rsvps, etc., and help him with the coordination. He came to my office the week before for us to go over rsvp's, food, emailing of directions to the attending members, etc. Earlier in that first week, he had made a joke, (he may remember how it was worded) and my joking answer was to the effect that he "needed to watch it, he was going to find out about my other personality involving my profile on alt.com"(it is a sister site to the one we met on). He was so intrigued (since that was the only comment I made about the profile)he pulled off the road into a truck stop that lets people get on the internet, and paid 25 cents a minute to be able to read my profile on alt, which states that I am a Domme, and a very short profile as to my wants. He asked some questions from time to time when on the phone prior to our meeting in person, and I was definitely intrigued because he started doing research during the time periods of our talks and meetings.(I didn't know this at the time about the research, until someone told me later. I just knew if I said something about WIITWD, if he looked or sounded puzzled, he always seemed to know about it when we talked again) I happened to have something break at my office that week of our meeting in person , and, he jumped in, stopped me from calling a service person, and very quietly fixed it, because in his words it was a service he was honored to be able to perform for me. He never made a physical advance towards me.The night that he had his party, I had already decided that I was going to stay awhile after the party, and had told him so. After most had left, and the cleaning up had been completed, he got a warm bowl of water, a washcloth, asked me to sit in a recliner, and because it had been a long day, (and I'm sure at one point I had mentioned how sensitive my feet are) he asked for permission to wash and massage my feet. He did not ask for sex, nor was he seeking it, he was worried about pleasing me. He continues to have as his main goal pleasing me.

I have told him I would like him to post a reply on this thread to you also, since you might want his insight as to what made him become interested, because, he says he NEVER thought about participating in WIITWD before meeting me. I do know he definitely is aggressive in business, a self starter, definitely goal oriented, and seemingly "gruff and rough" to everyone else (in other words pretty much alpha in the vanilla world).

Ladies, this is his first post on the boards, although he has been reading them for a little while, smiles. be kind, he has good intentions, smiles. I know you will welcome him to collarme!!

edited to fix quotes sections


< Message edited by kc692 -- 9/7/2005 8:21:30 PM >

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